The Legend of Ed: Majora's Mask
by Lord Siravant
Summary: After the Kankers ruin Eddy's latest scam, Edd and Marie find themselves in a weird world that just so happens to be on the threshold of an apocalypse. Once the rest of the gang gets involved, they must help a young hero named Link prevent Termina's destruction. Eds/Kankers. Rated T for violence, language, and sexual themes, along with typical EEnE humor. Reviews are loved.
1. Gateways

**Gasp! Is this…a new story from Lord Siravant?**_**!**_**? No, thine eyes do not deceive thee. I read legendofzeldarock's Edventures in Termina, but he/she quit eventually but said rewrites were okay. And ever since I read Nintendo-Nut1's Night of the Were Ed series, I've wanted to do my own Ed Edd 'n' Eddy fanfiction. I might make this tie into The Darkness Within and The Edge of Sanity, since Majora is, of course, the main villain. The deal about the passages between worlds might help too. Don't worry, I'll still be working on The Darkness Within as well as this. I just couldn't resist putting this up.**

**I'm rambling again.**

**Please enjoy the story.**

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**Chapter One: Gateways**

In ancient legends long forgotten, it was said that there existed in secluded parts of the world gateways to other realms, meant to be hidden from unworthy eyes. These worlds bore gateways as well, linking many different worlds together like a web. For example, there existed a cave on a lonely island leading to the realm of Narnia. In the fabled Bermuda Triangle lay a passage to the world of Middle Earth. Even more secret places existed in the untamed forests. Edd, known to others as Double D, never would have thought something like this to be true. Indeed, he was a boy of science, always wanting to find a scientific explanation for everything that existed in his quiet world.

Edd was a boy of fourteen years, wearing an orange t-shirt, purple shorts, red tube socks, and of course his signature black, sock-like hat that concealed most of his black hair. He was now running through the woods as fast as he could, reflecting on the day's events as he did so_. Eddy, you and your scams_! Edd thought angrily. _Why didn't you listen to me when I told you it wouldn't work_?

The Kankers had found them just as one of Eddy's scams had gone awry. Desperate to escape, Ed, Edd, and Eddy had each run in different directions, with Edd fleeing into the woods beyond the cul-de-sac.

Suddenly he heard a fiendish giggle not far behind him, making his blood run cold. _And worse…the Kankers had to get involved! Stupid, stupid Eddy!_

He looked behind him and saw the person he feared most in the world in hot pursuit, smiling devilishly as she closed in on him. It was none other than Marie Kanker, the crazed girl who harbored a fierce crush on him and would never leave him alone. Her blue hair swayed in the wind as she ran with her arms outstretched. Edd could already see the blood-red nail polish on her fingers. "Gah!" Edd yelped as he tried to pick up the pace, to little avail.

Suddenly, as Marie managed to grab onto his collar, Edd tripped on a log, sending both of them tumbling down a hill. They spun right into a large, hollowed-out log and suddenly disappeared from view. Without knowing it, they had done what no other human had done for decades: they had stumbled into one of the fabled gateways and left their world behind.

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When the two of them finally came to a stop, both of them moaned slightly, as their bodies ached all over. Marie came to her senses first and crawled over to Edd. "Hee hee, looks like it's time for some lovin', don't ya think, cutie?" she cooed.

As dazed as he was, Edd was aware that he was about to receive his daily Kanker torture. He gritted his teeth and waited for the sloppy kisses to come. Instead, he heard Marie utter a startled gasp, followed by a thud. Edd blinked in surprise as he noticed Marie lying next to him, unconscious. A pony was standing over her. Before he could look up, Edd saw a truly strange sight. A small, scarecrow-like creature jumped off the horse and sauntered over to Marie's still form. As Edd lifted his gaze upwards, he noticed that the creature was wearing a mask.

The very moment he laid eyes on the mask, Edd felt a chill crawl up his spine. The mask was heart-shaped, mostly purple and red, with two green spikes on top and four running along each side. But the worst part was the eyes. They were huge and evil-looking, looking like they were capable of burning into a man's soul. Weirder still, Edd saw two glowing balls of light, one yellow, the other maroon, each with two pairs of insect-like wings hovering over the masked creature. "Well, well, we got quite a catch today!" the masked creature said with excitement.

Edd was surprised by how child-like its voice sounded. "Let's see what they got, Skull Kid!" the yellow fairy chimed with a clearly feminine voice.

The creature called "Skull Kid" started rummaging around Marie's body, searching through her pockets as if he thought he might find something valuable in them. Finally Skull Kid threw up his hands and said, "Aw, she's got nuthin'. How about this guy?"

Edd remained perfectly still as Skull Kid walked over to him and started searching his person as well. Suddenly he heard Skull Kid utter an excited laugh and felt his treasured hat pulled from his head. He had to fight the urge to cry out and grab it back, but barely managed to stay calm and still. "What a cool-looking hat!" the maroon fairy cried as Skull Kid looked at it. "Let me try it on!"

"No, Tael!" the yellow fairy answered. "It's way too big for you!"

"Aw, but sis…" 'Tael' whined.

Meanwhile, Skull Kid had taken his straw hat off and replaced it with Edd's beanie. "Mmm, nice and comfy!" he giggled. "I think I'll keep it!"

Suddenly a voice rang out that made Skull Kid stand perfectly straight up. "Skull Kid! Where are you?_!_ Gimme back my horse and ocarina!"

"Aw, crud," Skull Kid muttered before putting his straw hat back on over Edd's beanie and jumping back on the horse.

Edd finally decided to stop playing dead and sprang up. "Give me back my hat!" he yelled as threateningly as he could.

However, the Skull Kid just laughed and spanked the horse's behind, sending it running. Edd was not fast enough to catch up and was left in the dust. He was about to continue forward, but then realized something. Marie was still laying unconscious by the large log they had fallen out of. He wanted to run in case she woke up, but then again, it went against his nature to leave someone alone like that…_even if she is a Kanker,_ Edd mused as he turned around and ran to her side.

He knelt down by her side. "M…Marie?" he whispered, gently shaking her shoulder.

Suddenly she began to stir, putting a hand to the back of her head where the Skull Kid had hit her. "Oww…What the heck happened?" she muttered groggily.

"We were…blindsided by some kid with a mask," Edd stuttered, scared of how she might react to noticing he was still there.

Instead, she did something worse. She looked up and saw what was on his head. "D…Double D? What happened to your head?_!_" she whispered in shock.

Edd gasped and realized she had seen what his beanie had hidden from others for years, and he quickly covered the offending area with his left hand. "Nothing…It's nothing!" he replied. "T-that's not important right now! A kid with a mask stole my hat and I need to get it back!"

"A kid with a mask? You saw him? Where'd he go?" a voice suddenly said.

Edd turned around and saw a boy dressed in green clothing and a green hat staring down at them. His hair was blond, his eyes blue, and despite looking younger than Edd, had a sword and shield strapped to his back. But the weirdest thing about him was the fact that his ears tapered to a point just like an elf's.

"Erhm…" Edd began. "He took off that way."

Edd pointed off towards where he had seen the Skull Kid escape. "He stole my hat too. I need it back."

"Why are we wasting time then?" the boy responded. "Let's go!"

Edd and Marie glanced at each other before deciding to follow the green-clad boy deeper into the woods. Soon they came across several tree stumps set up like stepping stones that led to another hollowed-out log. These the three of them crossed easily, and they all ran into the log. Too late did they notice the sudden drop-off before them, and they all went tumbling down the hole. "OH GOOD LORD WE'RE GOING TO DIE WE'RE GOING TO…huh?" Edd yelled before noticing what was passing by his line of vision.

Colored outlines of clocks, an ocarina, and that freaky heart-shaped mask all flew by as they continued to fall. Finally they all landed, one by one, on a strange flower with pink petals that broke their fall. "Oof!" each of them grunted as they fell.

They each rolled into a large puddle of water. Edd yelped as he jumped up. "Ah! Who knows what kinds of bacteria are in this water? Filthy, filthy, filthy…"

As the other two stood up, there was a clicking noise, and suddenly two spotlights were shining in their faces. They looked up when they heard a child's laugh and saw the Skull Kid hovering in the air in a leisurely manner. He first addressed the boy in green. "Hey, what's with that horse of yours? It doesn't listen to a word that's said to it! There's no point in having such a useless pet, so I did you a favor and got rid of it."

The boy's face suddenly went livid as he feared what the Skull Kid had done. "Aw, boo hoo, why the sad face? I just wanted to have a little fun with you…" the Skull Kid taunted.

"You…you think this is _funny_?" the boy answered through gritted teeth. "You better pray Epona's safe or I'll…"

"You'll what?" Skull Kid taunted.

"Ahem…pardon me," Edd suddenly spoke up rather timidly. He flinched as the Skull Kid looked at him through that mask's horribly unnerving eyes. "I don't want to be rude, but you have my hat, and I'd like it back…please?"

The Skull Kid cocked his head for a moment before he suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh, but where would the fun in that be?"

Suddenly the Skull Kid leaned forward, and said in a very disturbing tone, "If you'd like to only have one scar on your head, I suggest you shut up."

Edd gulped and put a hand on his head where the aforementioned scar was located. Marie, however, narrowed her visible eye and stepped forward. "Don't you talk to my man like that, ya little twerp!"

"Ya know what? This is gettin' boring," the Skull Kid responded. "I'm gettin' tired of your whining, and especially of looking at your dumb faces!"

Suddenly the Skull Kid began shaking his head, and the mask's eyes lit up, sending an aura of strange energy at Edd, Marie, and the boy. Suddenly the three of them saw only darkness, but they could distinctly hear something echoing in the shadows. Edd whipped around, scared out of his wits. Even Marie looked uneasy. Link furrowed his brow and drew his sword. "Stay close to me guys," he said in a grave tone.

The noise steadily began to intensify. It sounded like grass and wood grating against one another, and soon it was so loud the three of them had to cover their ears. It was then that they noticed the creatures that had surrounded them. They looked like they were made of wood, with mouths like tubes and leaves for hair. Their glowing eyes bore into their victims. "Deku!" Link shouted. "Run!"

They managed to break through the crowd of Deku and kept running. But the sound did not stop, and suddenly they saw a huge Deku looming over them. Then everything went dark again. When the three of them opened their eyes, groggy. When they all stood up, they each noticed something terribly wrong. Did they suddenly seem…shorter? Then they looked at each other, then themselves. They looked just like the Deku, except they were still wearing some of their clothes and their hair was still intact. The boy's weapons were now all gone. "GAAHHH! What…what happened to me?" Edd managed to yell, though his voice now seemed strange. It was much higher in pitch and had a wooden feel to it.

"What happened to _us_?_!_" Marie answered, her voice sounding just as strange.

The boy looked at his Deku reflection in the water. "This can't be happening," he muttered in horror. "Good Goddesses, this can't be happening!"

They were all suddenly brought to their senses by a loud cackle from the Skull Kid, who was pointing at them and laughing his head off as if their predicament were the funniest joke in the world. "Haha! That's a good look for you three! You can stay like that here forever!"

Suddenly a large stone door slid open behind the Skull Kid, and he began floating towards it, with his two fairies in tow. "Oh, no you don't!" Marie cried angrily as she rushed forward.

Seeing her, the yellow fairy turned around and hit her hard enough to knock her over. However, she spent too much time, and Tael, noticing his sister, managed to scream, "Tatl!" before the door suddenly slammed shut.

Tatl turned around and shrieked in horror as she realized what had happened. She flew towards the door and screamed, "Skull Kid! Tael! Wait, don't leave me here!"

She slammed into the door several times, but her small frame made such an effort futile. Her wings began to sink in despair before she realized something. She whirled around and glared at the three Deku children. "You three! If I hadn't gotten distracted by you, I wouldn't have been separated from my brother!"

"Wait, you're blaming this on us?_!_" Marie yelled angrily. "You were the one who helped that little punk turn us into…_this_!"

"I concur," Edd added, equally upset. "You helped him rob us blind, and possibly commit an act of cruelty to animals! And then you let him turn us into walking, _talking_ plants! _How in the Sam Hill makes that OUR fault_?_!_"

Even Marie was surprised by the forcefulness of Edd's words. Never had she seen him so angry. She honestly didn't know whether to be turned on or frightened. Then it was the boy's turn to speak. "All that stuff put aside, if you want our help in reuniting you with your brother, you better help us find that Skull Kid."

"Fine, whatever. I will. Just open this door!" Tatl yelled.

As the boy walked forward, he turned to his two new companions. "By the way, my name's Link."

"Oh! I'm…uh, Edd. My friends call me Double D."

"Name's Marie Kanker."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm Tatl, nice to meet you, let's go."

The three icy glares she received made her shut right up. Link opened the stone door and led the way through. It wasn't long before they came across a vast chasm, where several platforms were situated. Each platform was adorned with a single flower exactly like the one they had first landed on. Another flower sat right in front of them. "Why do I get the feeling these flowers are important?" Edd mused.

"Maybe that's proof your brain works," Tatl answered. "These are Deku flowers. What you do is stand over that hole in the center and burrow into them. When you jump out, you'll be holding onto two petals that will allow you to fly for a short time."

Edd stepped gingerly onto the flower. "How on earth do you attempt such aaaAAAGGHH!" he yelled as his little form burrowed into the center of the flower. "Where am I? It's dark!" came his muffled response.

"Now jump out!" Tatl yelled in annoyance.

A few seconds later, Edd sprang out of the Deku flower, holding onto two flowers that began spinning like helicopter blades. "I…Intriguing…" Edd muttered as the flowers managed to get him to the next platform.

"Now do the same for the rest of them!" Tatl ordered. "You're next!" she directed at Link and Marie.

Marie glared at the fairy before glancing at Link. Link gestured towards the flower. "Ladies first," he replied.

Marie smirked before stepping onto the flower to do the same as her 'boyfriend' had done. Once she was airborne, Link did the same, and they island-hopped all the way across until they reached the other side. As they all met up, they noticed Edd was staring at something. "What is it?" Marie questioned.

"I…don't know," came Edd's reply.

He was staring at a tree of some kind. It almost looked like a Deku, but there was no life to it. Its face was distorted, and its branches stretched out in a way to portray a sense of agony. "It looks so…sad," Tatl answered quietly as she looked at the little tree.

"We…should really go," Link said, feeling unnerved by the sheer pain the tree seemed to have been in.

They continued walking forward, finding themselves in a strange hallway. The whole way across was spiraled, and as they walked, the walls spiraled around them. They couldn't tell if it was an illusion or whether they were really walking on the ceiling. They reached the other side and heard the unmistakable sounds of gears grinding and water flowing. As they walked forward, a door suddenly slammed behind them, trapping them in this new room.

They all cried out with surprise and tried to lift the door open. However, it refused to budge. Finally giving up, Link slumped against the door for a moment and said, "Well, it looks like we have no choice but to go forward now."

The four companions then decided to take in their surroundings. The room was dark, but there was enough light for the most important features to be seen. A large pair of gears attached to a spinning beam spun like clockwork in front of them, powered by a river running past them. There was a small wooden bridge that led to the other side, and the group crossed it and went up a small flight of stairs and saw a wooden door ahead of them. There was light shining through from the other side. "I wonder what's on the other side of that door," Edd whispered almost to himself as they approached, but before they could, they heard a rather unsettling laugh from behind. "You've all met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

The four of them spun around in unison to see the owner of the voice, and noticed a man walk out of the shadows. He wore purple clothes and a huge sack on his back that displayed numerous masks. The man's red hair was parted neatly in the center of his head, and his face bore a deceptively genial smile. "Who are you?" Link asked firmly, forgetting for a moment he no longer had his sword.

"Why, don't you recognize me, Link?" the man answered. "Don't you remember the masks I had you sell about a year ago?"

Link put a hand on his chin and thought for a moment. Then it suddenly dawned on him. "Wait…you can't be…"

"Who else could I be? I'm the Happy Mask Salesman."

"But I…thought you had set up shop in Hyrule…Why are you here?"

"Ho ho ho, dear boy, a salesman never stays in one place too long if he wants to sell his wares to all kinds of people. Do forgive me, but I've been following you and your friends here for a little while."

"So you're a stalker too?" Marie queried with an unamused glare.

"Oh ho ho, quite the contrary, young miss! You see, I've been following you all for a reason. Perhaps you remember the little Skull Kid who made off with your ocarina not too long ago, Link?"

"Yeah, I do," Link replied tersely.

"He also decided to steal my hat too," Edd added. "As you can understandably tell, I'm not happy."

The salesman seemed to understand when Edd pointed to the reason behind his hat. "Well, to tell you the truth, he stole something of mine as well."

"Wait, let me guess," Edd interrupted. "Heart-shaped purple and red mask with glowing eyes of doom?"

"Yes, quite right," the salesman replied.

Nobody paid attention to Tatl as she tried to make herself inconspicuous behind Link's shoulder. "I also happen to know how to revert the spell cast upon you by the Skull Kid," the salesman finished.

Everyone's ears perked up at this. "How? Tell us!" Marie begged.

"First, Link must return to me with his ocarina. I suggest you come back with him if you want it to work on you as well."

Edd, Marie, and Link all nodded their heads in unison. "But you must understand," the salesman said, and his eyes went from being docile to almost mad. The smile, however, didn't change, making his new expression even more sinister. "I am a man with a busy schedule, and I must leave here in exactly three days' time. You must get the ocarina and the mask the Skull Kid stole from me back and return here at once. Do you understand?"

The three of them nodded their heads frantically, convinced the salesman was a madman. "We should _really_ go," Tatl said from behind Link's shoulder.

"Agreed," Link murmured.

They turned around towards the wooden door and stepped towards it. "Good luck, you three," the Happy Mask Salesman said happily.

They all looked at one another, and after taking a deep breath, pushed open the door and walked into the light.


	2. Clock Town

**Chapter Two: Clock Town**

(Dawn of the First Day, 6:00 am, 72 hours remain)

The sight that greeted them was nothing short of surprising. They had entered a town set seemingly in the medieval ages, with people going about their daily business here and there, and some burly men apparently working on constructing a wooden tower in the middle of the square. A man with a square jaw and short gray hair was busy ordering them around. "Hurry up, all of you! We only got three days before the carnival!"

The group of baleful polymorphs couldn't help but listen in on the following conversation as one of the workers walked past his boss. "Boss, I really think we should flee…" the man began before he was sharply cut off.

"YOU IDIOT!" the boss roared. "Don't believe those silly rumors! The carnival's gonna go on like always! Get back to work!"

"Rumors…?" Link muttered almost to himself.

"So where are we going to find the Skull Kid?" Edd asked Tatl.

"I don't know!" she answered. The others looked at her murderously, to which she replied nervously, "But…um, I know someone w-who might know!"

"Please, enlighten us," Edd responded.

"The Great Fairy who lives in North Clock Town! She should know!"

"Wait…Great…Fairy?" Edd said, disbelieving. "There's no such thing as…"

"Do I_ look_ like a figment of your imagination?"

"But I…no, I guess not."

Truthfully, Edd didn't know what to believe anymore. He had believed all his life that everything could be proven by science, that magic and fairies and monsters didn't exist. Now here he was in a foreign town in a foreign land stuck with an elf kid, a fairy, and worst of all, Marie Kanker, and all of them were currently talking plants._ I wonder if Ed and Eddy will come looking for me_, Edd thought to himself. _And with Marie here too, what's to stop her sisters from looking for her too? And if the others got involved…Sarah would probably try to find Ed, Jimmy would just blindly follow her, Nazz would go too because she can't stand the idea of kids going places by themselves, Kevin would go with her because he likes her, Rolf would join because he likes adventure, and Jonny will come because he's…well, Jonny._

Edd sighed and pinched his forehead. He really missed his hat, and these thoughts about the other kids back in the cul-de-sac did nothing to ease his tension. Marie turned his way and couldn't help but glance at the scar. It was an ugly thing, a long white line that was completely bereft of hair that ran down the side of his forehead down to his ear. "Double D…you…alright?" she asked.

On any other day she would have just wrapped her arms around him and planted kisses while he cried in terror, but this wasn't any other day. Everything had gone topsy-turvy, and here she was in some bizarro alternate universe with people straight out of a cliché fairy tale. And there was something about this whole thing that made her feel uneasy, a sense of foreboding that loomed over her like a cloud. The only ease she got from this whole mess they were in was that she was in it with Edd. As she glanced once more at Edd's scar, she thought,_ If only I knew how he got that. It seems to trouble him a lot…_

Edd looked up at her, and for once his eyes didn't look like they were about to pop out of their sockets in fright. "I'm just…thinking about the others. With me gone, my friends will probably start looking for me, and your sisters are probably going to start looking for you as well. It makes me ill to think that they might find their way here and get wrapped up in this mess as well."

Marie found herself wondering the same thing. She always fought with her sisters, but they did care for one another and stood by each other through thick and thin. She was sure they'd tear up the forest looking for her. _Hell, the Eds might even let them come just because they're both missing a teammate_, Marie thought wryly.

Suddenly they were all brought back to reality by a low growl. All three Deku looked ahead and saw a dog, a large terrier to be exact, growling angrily at them. Because of their small stature, the dog was as big as they were. And worse, they were weaponless. "Umm…any ideas, Link?" Edd stuttered as sweat started dripping down his forehead.

"…_Run_."

"Gyaahh!" they all cried as they turned and ran up one of the ramps with the dog close behind.

"Oh dear oh dear oh dear!" Edd yelled as he tried to run as quickly as he could.

Sadly, his human form was lackluster enough. His current Deku form made his running no quicker than a normal stride. The dog was catching up fast. The others weren't faring much better, as they were only barely running faster than Edd was. Suddenly, Edd tripped over his own two feet and fell face-first to the ground. "Gahhh! Help!" he cried in terror as the dog came close.

Hearing his voice, Marie suddenly spun on her heel and ran towards him. Seeing her do this, Link skidded to a halt as well. The dog was growling fiercely at Edd, who was too scared to move. As it prepared to pounce, he suddenly heard Marie cry out from behind him, "Hey, _get away from my man_, you mangy _mutt_!"

The dog looked up in time to see Marie's boot collide with its snout. The dog yelped and jumped back, shaking its head and glaring at Marie. The middle Kanker sister pointed at the dog in a way that actually made her look menacing. "Bad dog! Go on now, get!"

The dog, visibly terrified that its prey bit back, turned tail and fled back the way it came, yipping all the way. She made sure the dog was gone before she turned to Edd, who was just staring at her in shock. "What?" she asked. "You think I'd let some stupid mutt make a chew toy outta you?"

She offered him a hand to help him up. After a moment's hesitation, Edd took it and pulled himself up. He looked at her, and couldn't help but blush as he said, "Um…thanks, Marie."

"Ahem," came Link's voice from off to the side.

They both looked at him. "You got guts, Marie," Link continued. "You remind me of a friend of mine. She's a real tomboy, kinda gets her in trouble a lot."

Marie smirked. "I like her already."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, let's go!" Tatl cried in exasperation.

"Ah, right, right," Edd coughed.

Without another word, they followed Tatl towards North Clock Town. To get there, they had to go through East Clock Town, and as they entered the vicinity, they noticed a pair of men who looked identical to each other save for one wearing red and the other blue who were partaking in a two-man juggling act and dancing as they did so. They all marveled at them for a moment before the red-shirt spoke. "Funny things are happening, aren't they? Funny, funny."

"You're telling me! Have you seen the moon? Its face used to be so happy and blue-eyed, but now it's so big and red-eyed and angry!"

"And that's not the only thing? Stuff's been going on in the swamp too! Did you hear about the kidnapping?"

"Oh my! The kidnapping?"

"Yep! But then the kid woke up! Haha, get it?"

"Oh ho ho ho ho ho!"

The two men didn't break stride once, but that wasn't what the Deku kids were focusing on at the moment. "What did he mean with the moon?" Edd asked, confused.

They then decided to look up, and were astonished by what they saw. High above the Clock Tower, but far closer than it was supposed to be, was the moon. "GOOD LORD!" Edd exclaimed, horrified. "As close as it is, there's no way the moon can hold its trajectory without succumbing to the laws of gravity! It's…it's going to _fall_!"

The others could only look on in horror at the moon that loomed above them. What was worse was the fact that there was a face plastered on the moon's surface, and that face was contorted into an almost manic smile. Its eyes were disturbingly similar to the eyes of the Skull Kid's mask. "I…I hope the Great Fairy knows what's going on…" Tatl whimpered. "C-come on. We should probably hurry."

They all swallowed before heading into North Clock Town, which was strangely empty save for a slide in the corner, a dead tree, a fence, and a ramp leading towards a cave. "This way," Tatl said, heading towards the cave. The others dutifully followed and watched as she disappeared inside.

They were almost there when they heard Tatl scream in horror. Startled, they ran inside and saw a fountain of some kind. There were marble pillars connected together at the top, and water ran down the walls from above and sank into a puddle on the ground. But that wasn't what caught their attention. Tatl was floating there, visibly shaken, as she stared at a group of strange creatures with wings on their heads that weren't much bigger than a normal fairy. "G…Great Fairy…" Tatl stuttered. "What…happened to you?"

As the three Deku kids caught up with her, all the glowing creatures spoke as one. "Oh, kind young ones. Oh, Tatl…Thank goodness you are here. My form was shattered by the masked Skull Kid, and one of my parts has wandered off into the town. If I am to reform, the stray fairy must be brought back here with all due haste…"

"Whoa…" Edd gasped. "The _Skull Kid_ did this to you? _How_?_!_"

"It was that accursed mask of his…Such an item of wicked power is not meant for a child's hands…Please, bring back the Stray Fairy wandering around Clock Town, and I will help you on your quest."

"We will," Link assured her. "Come on, guys. We've got a stray fairy to find."

"D-don't worry, Great Fairy!" Tatl added. "We'll fix you up!"

They then left the cave. Once on the other side, Link turned around to face his companions. "Okay, if we split up, we can cover a lot more ground more quickly. Tatl and I will search East Clock Town. Marie, you look around West Clock Town, and Edd, you'll cover South Clock Town. Everyone understand the plan?"

They all nodded to one another and split up to go search.


	3. Back At Home

**Chapter Three: Back At Home**

It had been a long day for Ed and Eddy. Their scam had failed, the cul-de-sac kids were angry, and worst of all, the Kankers had found them just as they were escaping. Much torture had been had, and both of them had emerged from the Kankers' hiding spots covered with kisses. As they met in the middle of the street, Eddy glowered at his dim-witted friend Ed and said, "So what'd May do to you, Lumpy?"

"DON'T MAKE ME THINK ABOUT IT, EDDY!" Ed exclaimed with tears in his eyes.

Eddy then decided he was better off not knowing and started wiping the lipstick off his face. As he did so, Ed looked around worriedly. "Eddy, I don't see Double D anywhere," he proclaimed a little too loudly.

Eddy looked from his scrubbing and shrugged. "Eh, probably got lost in the woods. He'll find his way out eventually. I'm headin' home to take a shower. If he ain't home tomorrow mornin', we'll go find 'im."

Ed was still worried for his friend, but he nodded his head glumly. "See you tomorrow, Lumpy," Eddy said, waving his hand towards Ed. "I'll think of another scam tonight in case Double D comes back."

With that, the two Ed Boys parted ways for the day.

XXXXXX

Lee Kanker was growing worried. It was almost 7 pm and Marie still hadn't come home yet. She never missed dinner. May watched her red-haired sister pace around the room. Their mother was currently spending the night over at a friend's house (or rather a man who hadn't yet reached boyfriend status) and they didn't have a phone, so their mother was completely unaware of the situation. "Don't worry, Lee," May assured her. "Marie's probably just spendin' some extra time with her man."

Lee stopped pacing and glared at her blond-haired, somewhat-spacey sister. Though her hair hid her eyes, it was obvious she wasn't happy. "Marie doesn't miss dinner for nothin'. Not even Double D. She always meets us back after we have our fun with our boys. This is totally unlike her an' ya know it, May!"

"Uh, well, maybe she just got a little lost in the woods," May countered timidly. "They're not that big, so she'll find her way out eventually. Besides, she's tough. She can handle herself!"

"I don't care how tough she is! I'm still worried for her! Remember the incident with her old man?"

May looked away as she recalled the aforementioned incident. It was something the other Kankers never discussed when Marie was around. "Lee…you don't think…he may have come back for her…do ya?" May asked worriedly.

Lee sighed. "Nah, that's impossible. That douche'll be behind bars for another ten years before he'll ever see the light o' day."

May didn't really know what else to say. She wasn't the best at comforting words, and she knew they never helped her sister. This had never happened before, and truthfully, she was really scared for Marie. "Maybe…she'll be back tomorrow morning," she tried to assure Lee.

Lee crossed her arms. "If she ain't back by tomorrow mornin', we're goin' lookin' for her."

XXXXXX

Not long after the sun had risen the following day, Eddy was already up and ready to discuss his newest scam with his two pals. He had a large piece of paper rolled up in his hand as he barged into Ed's house. As usual, Ed's mom was gone at work and Sarah was off at Jimmy's. "Hey, Lumpy!" Eddy shouted into the seemingly-empty house. "Come on! Let's get Double D! I got a new scam that's sure to work!"

Surprisingly, there was no response. The house was eerily quiet. There were no crashing noises or animalistic squeals that heralded the arrival of quite possibly the dumbest kid in the cul-de-sac. "Hmmp, probably already at Double D's," Eddy muttered before slamming the door shut and striding over to Edd's house. When he reached Edd's lawn, he noticed that the front door was ajar. Shrugging his shoulders, Eddy pushed it open and yelled, "Hey Lumpy! Sockhead! Get your butts down here, I got a new scam!"

Then he noticed somebody standing in front of Edd's fridge, rooting through the perishable goods stored inside. He was tall and wore a ratty, green jacket. His head was covered with short, coarse blonde hair. Eddy sighed. "Hey, Ed! Look alive, will ya?"

Ed turned around to reveal his mouth full of food. "Hiya, Eddy!" Ed managed to speak through a mouthful of food.

"Ed, that's pretty rude of you to be rootin' through other people's fridges," Eddy said. "Anyway, is Double D here?"

At the mention of their missing friend, Ed's face fell as he swallowed. "No, Eddy. I haven't seen him anywhere."

"Yer kiddin' me, right?" Eddy muttered irritably. "What'd Marie do, _eat_ him?_!_"

He immediately regretted suggesting that as Ed suddenly wrapped his arms around Eddy and started yelling, "Oh no, Eddy! What if he was eaten by the mud people from Mars?_!_"

"Let me go, ya big oaf!" Eddy gasped.

Ed did so, and Eddy brushed himself off. "There's no such thing as mud people from Mars! He probably just got stuck in the woods is all. I say we go look for 'em. I want to pull off my new scam before the end of the week."

Ed brightened up immediately. "Let us go, then! To adventure!"

XXXXXX

Marie still wasn't back when the Kankers woke up the next morning. By now, May was in tears, and although Lee wouldn't admit it, she too was almost scared to death. She didn't want to think about what might have happened to her younger sister, for fear she might shed tears as well. But she had to stay strong and keep her cool, for May's sake. "Alright, that's it," she finally said. "We're goin' to the woods to find Marie."

May nodded as she wiped the tears from her face. "Hurry up and get dressed," Lee finished.

XXXXXXX

The woods were quiet and peaceful as usual. Birds sang in the treetops as Ed and Eddy navigated their way through the undergrowth. Luckily for Eddy, he had found a trail that looked like it had been left behind by a person running, and the two of them were currently following it. Eddy kept a close eye on it as they were led deeper into the woods. Suddenly he was startled out of his quest by a very unwelcome voice from behind. "Got room for two more, dreamboat?"

"Kankers," Eddy growled.

"Kankers!" Ed yelled in terror as he hid behind Eddy.

Indeed there stood May and Lee Kanker, all dressed up to handle the wilderness. However, something was off about them. They weren't smiling seductively like they usually did when they found the Eds. May looked like she had been crying recently, and Lee's face was perfectly serious. "Whaddaya want?" Eddy snarled. "Whatever it is, it better not have anything to do with us because we're a little busy at the mom…"

"Marie's gone," Lee interrupted plainly. Eddy was surprised into silence. "She's been missin' since yesterday."

Eddy blinked in surprise before he responded. "Double D's gone too. He went into the woods and didn't come out."

"Same with Marie," Lee added. "Believe it or not, we're worried about her. So unless you got a problem, we're comin' with ya."

Eddy thought about it for a moment and finally said, "Fine. But no funny business!"

The four of them then picked up where Eddy had left off and continued through the woods. After about a half-hour of following the trail, they came across a slope that led into a large, hollowed-out log. Strangely enough, they couldn't see through to the other side. But the trail definitely led inside. Eddy cupped his hands over his moth and yelled, "Hey, Sockhead! Can you hear me? Double D?"

There was no response save for the echo of his own voice. Lee cupped her hands and yelled, "Marie, are ya down there?"

Still no response. Eddy and Lee looked at one another before deciding to proceed down into the makeshift cave to see if they were down there. Ed and May dutifully followed behind, sliding down the ravine until they reached the large log and went inside. They were suddenly covered in darkness as they walked inside. The inside of the tree was much wider than it should have been, and it made Ed and May nervous. "Keep walkin'," Lee advised.

After about a dozen steps, they appeared through what appeared to be the other side. But something was strange. "Whoa," Eddy muttered. "I've never been to this neck of the woods before."

"It looks…too different to be our woods," Lee surmised cautiously.

They all looked around. Sure enough, the trees looked different, and were spaced out more evenly. The ground was perfectly flat. However, the trail continued on directly ahead of them. "Look!" Eddy pointed. "It's goin' off in that direction!"

The four of them quickly traversed the path previously taken by their quarry, and were also unaware of the sharp drop-off until it was too late. With a cry of terror, they all tumbled down the large hole, not even noticing the colored outlines that swooped by them. Suddenly they each landed on a strange pink flower one at a time and collapsed into the water. Eddy shook his head and lifted himself to his feet. "Where the heck are we?"

Lee was the first to notice the open door ahead of them. "Let's go through that," she suggested.

They walked through the door and found themselves in the chamber with the large chasm and the network of Deku flowers. "How the heck did they even get across that?_!_" Eddy wondered out loud, scratching his head.

"More importantly, how do _we_ get across?" Lee added.

Eddy turned to Ed. "Lumpy?"

"Got ya, Eddy!" Ed yelled with a big smile before he scooped up Eddy and catapulted him across the chasm, where he landed on the other side.

"So how do we get across, Lee?" May asked.

Lee smirked and glanced at Ed, who, seeming to understand, threw up his hands and yelled, "No! Girl germs!"

"You throw her or I kick you."

Ed reluctantly swallowed his fear and grabbed hold of a rather pleased May before throwing her to the other side as well. "Now, your turn, flathead!" Lee stated before unceremoniously booting Ed hard enough to get him across as well.

When she was all alone, she took a deep breath, stepped back a few paces, and then ran as hard as she could, leaping across the platforms rather skillfully, reaching the others soon after. Eddy and May were brushing themselves off, and Ed was rubbing his backside. "Let's go, shall we?" Lee said before leading the way.

They also had to pass through the strange, spiraled hallway, and doing so almost made Eddy feel sick. When they reached the next room, the door, of course, slid shut and would move no further. The four of them shouted in surprise and tried to pry it open, but no such luck. Huffing in annoyance, Eddy turned around and said, "Ah, leave it. Let's go."

They took in their surroundings of the inside of the Clock Tower before heading across the bridge and up the stairs. There, standing in one corner of the room, was a man in purple with a large sack slung on his back. He was smiling somewhat disturbingly. "Why hello there, young children," the man greeted. "I am the Happy Mask Salesman!"

Eddy narrowed his eyes. "Salesman, huh?"

He motioned for everyone to crowd around him. "Okay, salesmen aren't to be trusted. I would know. So let me do the talkin'."

They all nodded before breaking apart. Eddy waltzed over to the salesman and said, "So, salesman guy! You seen a guy with an orange shirt and a black sock on his head and a girl with blue hair around here recently?"

"Why yes I have, actually," the salesman replied warmly. "They passed this way a few hours ago, though they look a little…different now than they did before."

"What do you mean?" Eddy said, folding his arms.

"You'll find out soon enough," the salesman answered. "They left through that door right there."

"Right…um, thanks," Eddy said before turning around to look at said door. "C'mon guys, let's see what's on the other side."


	4. Finding the Stray Fairy

**Chapter Four: Finding the Stray Fairy**

Several hours had already gone by, and Link had no luck finding the stray fairy. There were plenty of places to explore in this section of Clock Town, but none of it seemed to yield what he and Tatl were searching for. As Link patrolled the town square, he glanced up at Tatl. "So, why were you friends with Skull Kid? That seems like a pretty rotten thing for him to do to the Great Fairy."

"How was I supposed to know he'd go and do something like that?" Tatl shot back. "He was always a prankster, but I never thought he'd go this far, okay? Now just concentrate on finding that stray fairy!"

Link decided to let it slide for now, but he planned on having a little talk with her later about her relationship with the Skull Kid.

XXXXXX

Marie was still getting used to her body as she traipsed around the shopping district of West Clock Town. Or at least, it looked like a shopping district, judging by the people walking around with crude shopping bags. The signs above the stores were in a language she was unfamiliar with, but at least some of them had pictures defining their primary product. She searched all around for any sign of the stray fairy, but she was having no luck either. She had even resorted to asking a pair of dancing twin girls whether they had seen it. She was promptly blown off by them and told to quit bothering them.

Marie sighed in exasperation. _This is getting nowhere_, she thought. _It's already been, like, three hours since we got here._

She folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. _Where could that little thing have gotten off to?_

XXXXXX

Edd searched high and low throughout the day around South Clock Town, but he too had failed to find the stray fairy. He had taken care to avoid the construction work going on in the center of the district during his search, but he was bothered by the fact that the moon was edging ever closer towards the city. He had happened to pick up some snippets of conversations concerning what was going on. Apparently the townsfolk were also aware of the giant chunk of rock, but some didn't believe it would fall, others didn't _want_ to believe, and those who did were discussing when they would flee and where to.

As he was looking around, Edd suddenly noticed something he hadn't seen before. There was a set of stairs that led into a little alcove on the far corner of the district. _Maybe the stray fairy's in there. Only one way to find out._

Edd hurried along up the stairs and arrived at the town's laundry pool. It was a small place, with a quaint river running past him into a grating beneath the wall. A wooden bridge led to the other side, where a door was located. A small bell was hanging on a post by the bridge, and a small bench sat off to the side. Edd slowly walked up to the water's edge and looked down upon his own reflection, gazing at the wooden face staring back at him. "This is unreal," he whispered to himself, still not wanting to believe that everything that had been happening to him today was real.

Then he saw something else, a glimmer on the water's surface. There was something above his head, and when Edd looked up, he saw the stray fairy flying about in a confused manner. "Ah! There you are!" Edd said aloud.

The fairy suddenly seemed to notice him and flew towards him. It flitted in front of his face and said, "Oh, kind young one! My form has been shattered by the masked Skull Kid! Please…take me back to the Fairy Fountain in North Clock Town!"

"That's why I'm here, madam," Edd answered her as calmly as he could. "Please, follow me."

The fairy obligingly hovered over Edd's head as he led her out of the laundry pool back out into South Clock Town. _I'll look for Link first_, he thought. _Then we can have Tatl find Marie_.

The Deku boy and the fairy made their way across the district, receiving the occasional odd glance. Walking up the stairs into East Clock Town, Edd immediately caught sight of Link. "Link!" Edd yelled, having his hand to catch Link's attention. "I found her!"

Link glanced up from the large poster he had been reading and noticed the stray fairy flitting over Edd's head. "Oh good, you found her," Link said as he caught up. "Tatl, go find Marie and tell her to meet us at the Fairy Fountain."

"Fine, whatever," Tatl droned before flying off.

After she was gone, Link turned to Edd and said, "Alright, let's take her to the fountain."

XXXXXX

Marie was still wandering around West Clock Town, though she had somewhat given up on actually searching for the stray fairy, when Tatl found her. Forgetting what her name was, Tatl just blurted out, "Hey, Blue-Hair!"

Marie suddenly looked up and saw the yellow fairy flying towards her. "Oh," she grunted unenthusiastically. "It's you."

"Don't look too happy to see me," Tatl answered back just as coldly. "Your germaphobe boyfriend found the stray fairy. We're meeting them at the fountain."

"Right on," Marie responded before taking off towards that destination.

XXXXXX

When they all met up again, it was already approaching late afternoon. As Marie and Tatl caught up with the rest of them, Link looked around and said, "Everybody here?"

"Yep," Marie surmised.

The three Deku children proceeded back into the Fairy Fountain with their charge, who upon seeing her awaiting brethren, flew over to the others gleefully. As they all approached, the fairy swarm started spinning together and condensing into a single being, until there was a flash of light that almost blinded the visitors, along with a joyous female laugh. From the center of the fountain emerged a young woman with long, flowing red hair and a patchwork of leaves taking the place of clothes. There was heavy makeup around her eyes. The Great Fairy giggled again and leaned forward in the air, gazing at them with warm, gentle eyes.

"Thank you, kind young ones," she began. "And thank you as well, Tatl. Now my form is once again fully intact. I am the Great Fairy of Magic."

"Great Fairy…" Tatl interrupted hesitantly. "How…did the Skull Kid…_do_ this to you?"

"The same way he has been troubling all of Termina. It is the mask he wears. It grants him great and terrible power…far too great and terrible for a child to understand and control. It is a story I have not the time nor the place to tell you. The one who knows more about the Heart of Darkness is its last owner, the salesman who waits within the clock tower."

"Um, excuse me, madam," Edd interrupted timidly. "We were hoping you might know where we could find the Skull Kid."

"I'm afraid I do not hold the answer you seek. The Skull Kid's whereabouts are a mystery to me. There is another way I can help you, though."

"Really?" Marie asked hopefully.

"As the Great Fairy of Magic, I can grant all three of you the ability to practice magic."

"Wait…magic?" Edd stuttered. "That…isn't possible. There's no such thing as magic!"

"Young Eddward, you are not from this world, am I not correct?"

"Ehrm…that's right."

"It saddens me that your world has no magic. It feels like such a…dead place."

Edd and Marie couldn't help but glance at each other at the Great Fairy's words. "But fear not…that does not mean I cannot grant you magic."

The Great Fairy giggled once more and blew a kiss towards the Deku children. Suddenly a light surrounded the three of them and lifted them up into the air. They were now defying the very laws of gravity, but something about the light seemed to put Edd's mind at ease. The three of them could all feel a sense of empowerment course through their wooden bodies. Finally they slowly fell back to earth on their feet, and felt rejuvenated. Edd really couldn't explain how he felt. But it felt good. "King young Eddward, Marie, Link, and Tatl," the Great Fairy spoke again. "This is all I can do for you for now. My power has waned, and I cannot contact my sisters located throughout Termina. I fear the same fate that befell me has happened to them."

"So how will we find the Skull Kid?" Link asked.

"The astronomer in East Clock Town should be able to help you. However, the path to his home is protected by a young group of vigilantes, the Bombers Gang. You may have to speak to them about letting you in."

"Alright," Marie said, nodding her head.

The Great Fairy smiled at them again. "When battle has made you weary, feel free to see me again."

With a final laugh, the Great Fairy disappeared into the Fountain. As they turned to leave, Link said, "She said the path to the astronomer was in East Clock Town. I remember seeing a little kid standing in front of an alleyway. It looked like he was trying to keep people from entering. I think that's where we should go."

"Well then," Edd replied. "Lead the way, Link."


	5. Eds and Kankers Are Coming To Town

**Chapter Five: The Eds n' Kankers Are Coming to Town**

The moment Eddy laid eyes on the scene in front of him, he couldn't help but question his sanity. They were inside a rather large town, which was strange, as it shouldn't have been possible for such a large place to be hidden by the woods ofthe cul-de-sac. After a rather awkward moment of silence, Eddy stuttered, "Am I imagining stuff, or do those people have _pointy ears_?"

Lee looked equally confused. "How the _hell_ could this place like this hide so well in the woods?"

Suddenly something clicked in Ed's head. "Eddy! I know what happened!" he yelled, pointing a finger in the air.

"This should be good," Eddy muttered.

"We must have walked into a portal in the woods that took us to an alternate dimension!"

"Ed, I'm really not in the mood for your stupidity right…" Eddy began.

"Hold on a sec, flathead may have a point," Lee interrupted, scratching her chin.

Eddy glared at her as if she had just lost her mind. "Come again?"

"Think about it. That big empty log in the woods. Didn't you notice how we couldn't see through to the other side? And when we walked through, we somehow ended up in an unfamiliar part of the woods? And then we started falling and jumping a lot and wound up in this weird town with elf people?"

"That's just crazy," Eddy retorted.

"Alright, let's see you come up with a better explanation, dreamboat!" Lee answered back crossly.

Eddy was silent for a moment. "I…ate a poisoned jawbreaker?"

Lee face palmed and sighed. "Look, if what that weird guy with the smile said is true, then Double D an' Marie are somewhere in this town. Let's split up and search for them. Ed, you're with me. May, you go with Eddy."

"Wait, so you're not gonna follow me around and…" Eddy began to say.

"This ain't the time for distractions," Lee interrupted. "That's why I'm goin' with Ed and you're goin' with May."

"But, Lee, I wanna go with Ed!" May whined.

"That's exactly why ya ain't!" Lee answered. "You two go left, an' Ed and I'll go right."

May looked crestfallen but decided to listen to her oldest sister. "Alright, let's go," Eddy grumbled, glad that he wasn't stuck with Lee but disappointed that he was still going with a Kanker.

Ed was relieved he wasn't going with May, and wasn't as troubled about going with Lee as Eddy was about May, because he knew very well that Lee wouldn't try to smother him at inopportune moments. "C'mon, flathead," Lee ushered, heading off with Ed towards West Clock Town, while Eddy and May went off towards East Clock Town.

XXXXXX

Eddy and May glanced about their surroundings. East Clock Town was an expansive place. There seemed to be several places of interest throughout the area. Unfortunately, all the signs were in an unfamiliar language that Eddy couldn't even guess the meaning of. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," May said nervously.

Eddy sighed. "Could you at least _try_ to say something a little less corny?"

Eddy glanced in every direction until he suddenly saw something of interest. "Hey, Blondie! See that kid over there?"

Eddy pointed towards a kid who was vigorously guarding an alleyway. The kid was much shorter than Eddy and was wearing a white shirt, blue shorts, and a yellow bandana. "Yeah?" May asked, confused.

"Looks like he's protectin' somethin'," Eddy surmised greedily. "I bet he's hidin' a bunch of money in that alley."

Eddy rubbed his hands together and grinned as he felt a plan come together. "Let's see if I can scam this kid outta his stash!"

"But Eddy, aren't we supposed to be looking for Double D?" May whined.

"What? It's not like we don't have time to make a little side-trip! Besides, look at all these bozos! None of them know who I am! I bet I could scam my way to the richest kid in the cul-de-sac in no time!"

The very thought of himself wallowing in tons of money nearly made Eddy salivate. But he resorted to manic laughter, generating some confused stares from the townsfolk. Eddy didn't seem to notice, however, and strode over to the kid. Seeing him, the kid stood his ground and held out his arms to block the way. "Um…do you know the password?" he asked.

"Do I know the password?" Eddy responded. "Do I know the password? My good man, I know something better! Wanna hear a secret?"

The kid's face brightened up. "Oh yeah! Yeah!"

"Come closer," Eddy motioned.

The kid leaned his head in so Eddy could whisper in his ear. As soon as he did, Eddy cupped his hand near his mouth and leaned his head in close. "The secret is…YOU'RE A SAP!"

"Wha?" the kid cried, shocked, as he suddenly felt himself pushed aside. "Go! Go!" Eddy yelled to May, who followed behind him as he ran laughing into the dark passageway.

"H-hey!" the kid screamed. "You can't go down there!"

Eddy and May just kept running until they were inside. "Oh no," the boy mused, terrified. "Jim's not gonna like this…"

XXXXXX

Edd, Marie, Link, and Tatl had just left the Fairy Fountain when Edd decided to bring up a question that had been bothering him. "Hey, guys. Don't you think we should try and deduce what our capabilities are since we now have…magic?"

Edd still couldn't believe he was saying that, but he knew there was no more use trying to refute everything going on around him with a logical explanation. Tatl was the one who answered him. "Oh yeah, you can all shoot magic bubbles out of your mouths in Deku form."

Marie fixed a hard glare on Tatl with her visible eye. "…What."

"You gotta be kidding me," Link mused. "That doesn't sound very useful."

"Well how are you gonna know if you don't try it out?_!_" Tatl chided. "Just take a deep breath and blow smoothly, and you'll start forming a bubble. When you want to release it, just stop blowing."

"Fair enough, I guess," Edd said, scratching his chin while thinking to himself, _I must research all this. As unbelievable as this might all seem, if I were to use scientific research to prove the existence of all these things, this could contribute astronomically to science!_

"So what are we gonna use as a target?" Marie asked.

Tatl looked all around them and suddenly noticed a rather tantalizing target. "Look! How about that?"

They all looked at where Tatl was pointing and saw a large blue balloon floating a short distance above them. Plastered on its front was a crude drawing of the creepy heart-shaped mask. "That'll do," Marie said, happy to take out her frustration on something.

The three Deku children each took a deep breath and began to slowly exhale. As they did so, a bubble started forming on each of their tube-like mouths. As Edd watched his bubble grow, he thought, _Amazing! If only I could figure out how this works._

They each finally ran out of breath and let their bubbles go. The bubbles made a whizzing noise as they zoomed towards their target. The moment they all connected, the balloon exploded in a shower of sparkles and rubber material, momentarily blinding the three of them. When Edd opened his eyes and saw the remains of the balloon on the ground, the only thing he could say was, "Whoa…"

"Hey! What gives?" a child's voice suddenly yelled off to the side.

Edd jumped in surprise, but Link and Marie merely glanced at the voice's owner, a kid about as short as they were. He wore a white shirt, blue shorts, and a red bandana, and he did not look happy. "I was gonna pop that balloon!" the boy said. "That was Bombers' property you busted right there!"

"Bombers?" Link questioned. "You're part of the Bombers Gang?"

"Gang?_!_ We're not a gang! We're a society! The Bomber's Secret Society of Justice, to be exact! We help anyone who's in trouble or in need! I'm Jim, the leader! So show some respect, Deku!"

"Listen kid," Marie said through gritted teeth. (or at least tried to) "I don't care if you are the leader of a society of justice, I don't take crap from _nobody_! You show a little respect yourself, _Jim_."

"Guys, please," Edd interrupted. "We were told by the Great Fairy that your gang guards the way to the astronomer. We need to speak to him urgently."

"Nobody except people on official Bomber's business is allowed to see the old man."

"But we really need to…" Edd started before someone else cut him off.

"Jim! Jim!" came another child's voice.

They all looked to see another kid bearing a striking resemblance to Jim save for his yellow bandana running towards them. "Hey! You're supposed to be on guard duty!" Jim yelled.

"I…I was!" the kid panted. "But these two kids tricked me and got inside! One of them was a little taller than me and had his hair slicked back and was wearing a yellow shirt, and the other was this blond girl with a gray shirt and red shorts and buck teeth!"

At the mention of the two interlopers, Edd and Marie's eyes widened.

"Wait a minute…" Edd gasped. "_Are you serious_?_!_"

"Th-that can't be…!" Marie stuttered. "Eddy and May!"

Jim whirled around on them. "So, you know these people then? Are you their accomplices?"

"N-no wait, you got it all wrong!" Edd begged.

"The heck I do! That settles it! As payment for defacing Bomber's property and aiding in the breach of Bomber's security, you three are gonna help us catch your friends, and then, we'll about how else to punish you!"

"Great," Tatl muttered. "This is just great."

Link leaned towards Edd and whispered in his ear as Jim started talking to the other gang member. "Just let it go. It might get us to the astronomer in the end."

Edd slowly nodded, understanding Link's logic. "Alright, you three," Jim ordered. "Let's move out!"


	6. The Astronomer

**Alright, peeps. What follows borrows heavily from not only my own headcanon for Majora and Termina, but also a few other Ed, Edd n Eddy fanfics, particularly Revelations in the Rain by VoiceintheShadows. This is a little tribute to that story, which I loved.**

**As usual, I don't own Ed, Edd n Eddy or Legend of Zelda. If I did, stuff like this would be canon and Majora would be in more games.**

**XXXXXX0000XXXXXXX**

**Chapter Six: The Astronomer**

The inside of the place was dimly lit by a few large torches. Eddy and May took in what surroundings they could see before Eddy said, "Whatever that kid was guardin', it has to be down here somewhere! I bet it's old treasure of some kind!"

Eddy rubbed his hands together and flashed a scheming smile. His wild grin was enough to actually somewhat unnerve poor May, who shrank back a little to let Eddy bask in his euphoria at a safe distance. "C'mon, Blondie! Let's start lookin'!"

Eddy led the way down the corridor, keeping an eye out for anything that looked like treasure. Unfortunately, he wasn't paying attention to the important things, and didn't notice the underground river flowing before his feet until it was too late. Gravity asserted itself, and Eddy fell face first into the water. May, however, had heard the sounds of water and had seen it before Eddy had, but didn't think to say anything until Eddy had already fallen in. The shortest Ed Boy sloshed around in the water, coughing and sputtering in surprise. May smiled stupidly, adding insult to injury with what she was about to say. "Gee, Eddy. That was real stupid of you."

"_Shut it, Kanker_," Eddy growled in the water, his voice muffled by the bubbles spewing out of his mouth.

Eddy was, luckily, barely tall enough to stand in the water and keep his head above water. "Come on, you," he grumbled to May, who promptly jumped in after him.

The resulting splash did not help dry Eddy off. He gritted his teeth in frustration, shaking his head to get the water out of his face as he waded his way towards dry land, followed by May. They walked onward through the dimly-lit passageway until it opened up into a small chamber. At the far end of the room was a ladder going up the wall, but the very top was blocked off by a large blue balloon with a strange, rather creepy-looking heart-shaped design emblazoned on the front. Eddy stared at it for a moment, rubbing his chin in thought as to how to remove the offending party accessory. "Looks like that balloon's blockin' something on the other side."

"How are we gonna pop it, Eddy?" May asked.

Eddy grinned mischievously. "My bro showed me how. Watch this!"

XXXXXX

(Night of the First Day, 6:00 pm, 60 hours remain)

The sun had barely started sinking over the horizon when Edd, Marie, Link, Tatl, Jim, and the alley guard all arrived at the alleyway that led to the astronomer's place. Jim turned to the guard. "You stay at your post. The rest of us are going in."

The guard nodded and stepped inside. "Alright, come on, you three."

Jim led the way into the passageway. Once inside, everyone took in their surroundings. Edd scrunched up his nose. "This is a sewer," he surmised unhappily.

"No it's not," Tatl answered. "See how clean the water is? This is the underground river that powers the Clock Tower."

Edd looked down at the water and could clearly see to the bottom. A few fish swam lazily by. "Hurry it up!" Jim ushered impatiently.

Edd sucked in his breath and sprang into the water…or at least he tried to. To his (and everyone else's) great surprise, instead of splashing into the water, he started bouncing across the surface like a skipping stone. "Gah!What in the heck?_!_" Edd yiped as he skipped over to a small island bearing a single torch. "W…What did I just _do_?_!_"

Edd looked at his feet, hoping for an answer. "Deku can skip across water a short distance," Tatl explained in a bored tone.

Marie glared once more at the yellow fairy. "You neglected to mention this to us."

"You never asked!"

"Alright, that's enough!" Jim yelled. "You, with the green hat!"

He pointed at Link. "You'll carry me across because I can't swim."

"Can I at least hear a 'please?'" Link said with a frown.

Jim gave no indication he was going to answer, instead just jumping onto Link's back and crying, "Mush!"

Link had to restrain the urge to throw Jim off into the water as he jumped onto the same platform Edd was on. Marie shrugged her shoulders and took a leap of faith as well, skipping over to the others. "Where next?" Edd asked.

Jim pointed ahead of them. "Over there's the shore."

The group skipped their way across the water and shortly reached the other side. Once they had reached dry land, Edd stared down at his barely wet feet. _I must take some time to research how all of this is possible_, he thought.

Jim leapt off Link's shoulder and pointed ahead. "Onward!"

Link did not look happy, but he wordlessly fell in line behind Jim, with Edd and Marie taking up the rear. Edd found himself walking next to Marie, and suddenly he felt a little nervous. She happened to notice him stealing glances at her, and said, "Pretty trippy what's been happenin', huh?"

"Um…yes, quite," Edd stammered.

XXXXXX

Eddy and May were about to climb up the ladder when a voice suddenly rang out down the passageway. "Onward!"

Eddy's heart nearly stopped. "Someone's comin'!" he whispered to a terrified May. "Hide, quick!"

They both looked around desperately and finally took cover inside a pair of large jars just as a group of strange-looking wooden creatures led by a kid who looked a lot like the gate guard and accompanied by a floating ball of light with wings walked in. The two of them peeked ever so slightly out of the jars to see what was going on. The kid looked up at where the balloon had once been and cried, "Aw man! They busted our blockade!"

"What did you have blocking it?" the glowing ball asked incredulously.

"A balloon," the kid replied.

One of the wooden creatures, the one with blue hair, widened its visible eye in surprise. "What're you, _stupid_? How does a balloon block a passageway?_!_"

"It-it's Bombers' policy!"

"Some policy," another wooden creature muttered, this one wearing a green hat and green shorts.

"Hey, don't patronize me, Deku! Let's just move on. They're probably talking to the old man now. That's where we'll catch 'em!"

The group then ascended the ladder and left the room. Once he was sure they were gone, Eddy jumped out of the jar, followed by May jumping out of hers. "Didja see what I just saw?" Eddy muttered in shock.

"Those talking puppets," May stammered. "They…looked like Double D and Marie!"

"What?_!_ You gotta be kiddin' me! How could that'a possibly been them?"

"I don't know!"

"Well, whatever's up there, looks like we won't be gettin' to it now without bein' seen. Let's head back outside and keep lookin' around. Maybe we can scam some other saps while we're lookin' for Double D and Marie."

XXXXXX

The Deku children were caught by surprise as they entered a brightly colored room all of a sudden. The light stung their eyes, but they shortly adjusted. The walls of this new room were swirling patterns of neon colors. Various papers were scattered across the floor, and ahead of them was a set of stairs leading upwards to the second floor. That's when they saw the old man descending the flight of stairs. He looked very scholarly, wearing a blue robe and cap. He was hunched forward, and his grey hair reached down to his shoulders. As he saw the visitors, he beamed warmly. "Ah, welcome, Jim! I see you brought friends! I trust this is Bombers business?"

"Yep," Jim answered. "These guys destroyed Bombers' property, and they're accomplices to a couple intruders to our hideout. They're indebted to us 'til we find their buddies. You seem them pass through here?"

"No, I can't say that I have," the old man answered, scratching his chin. "By the way, I'm the astronomer of Clock Town."

"Oh, good," Marie said. "We've been lookin' for you."

"Oh, is that so? Well, you've come to the right place, children. How about some dinner? I just made it."

"Hey, they're my subjects!" Jim complained.

"I remember the Bombers' guidelines. As I recall, there's no rule saying you can't feed your 'subjects'."

"But I'm the boss! Doesn't that mean I can do whatever I want?"

"No, dear Jim. Being the boss means you do what's right. Now sit right there. Dinner will be right with you."

Jim just stood there, crossed his arms, and grumbled incoherently. A few minutes later, the astronomer came back down the stairs carrying a tray bearing four plates of food. "I'm not the best cook, but I do try!" he said as his guests each took a plate and fork, sitting down on some boxes by the wall.

"So, are you Jim's father, by chance?" Edd asked politely before starting to eat.

The old man slowly shook his head. "No. I'm afraid Jim has no family to speak of in this town. His father entrusted him to me before he left. Sadly, his father never came back."

Everyone glanced at Jim, who glowered miserably as he ate his food. "I'm…so sorry," Link stuttered guiltily.

"Yeah, sure, that's what they all say," Jim retorted angrily, his eyes misting. "But none of you knows what it feels like, do you? Every day I have to live with the fact that my dad ain't ever coming home!"

Edd felt too bad for Jim to try and correct his grammatical error. "I don't think that's true, Jim," Link suddenly said, almost too soft for anyone to hear.

Jim looked hard at Link, who only sighed sadly as he began his tale. "I'm from the Kokiri Forest of Hyrule, but I wasn't born there. I was raised by the Great Deku Tree, a guardian spirit who kept watch over the woods. One day, a man from the desert by the name of Ganondorf came to the forest and demanded the Deku Tree give him a precious stone. He refused, and so Ganondorf inflicted a death curse on him."

Link's hands shook a little and he sniffed as tears came to his eyes. "I wasn't able to lift the curse, and he died right in front of me. The Great Deku Tree was like a father to me, and now, because of Ganondorf, I'll never see him again."

Edd couldn't help but think about his own family life as Link spoke. "I suppose…this as good a time as any to tell you about my family," he said, mustering his courage. "When my parents first got married, my mother's best friend was unhappy with the arrangement, and…well…raped her. About nine months later I was born. My parents tried to dismiss me as being their son at first, but it was soon obvious. They were…ashamed. One day, my father decided to 'accidentally' drop my head on the coffee table. He thought it was for the best, but my mother found me and took me to the hospital."

Marie was stunned. "My God…so then…that's where…the scar came from?"

Edd nodded sadly. "Even today they only communicate with me through sticky notes and never speak to me to my face. If it weren't for my two best friends, I don't even know what I'd be doing right now. I might have even…"

Edd didn't want to finish, but it was agonizingly apparent what he meant. Edd buried his face in his hands and silently cried. Marie looked at him, and this time, her gaze didn't betray lust or amusement. Instead, it was one of pity. She would have never thought that Edd didn't have the fantastic home life she had always thought he had, and the thought that Edd had to live with that kind of pain broke her heart. It was at this moment that she decided that now was the time for her to come clean about her life. "Well…can't say my life was picture-perfect, either. You see, my sisters and I all had different fathers, and mine was not the most…understanding type. I had to spend the weekends with him, and I'd do whatever I could to get away from him. But I couldn't stay away forever, and one night my dad came home, drunk and angry about everything, and then he saw me and, well…"

Marie slowly lifted up the hair covering her right eye and revealed what it had hidden for years. "GOOD LORD!" Edd cried as he saw this. Link's eyes went wide as well.

Marie's right eye didn't look right. Even in her Deku form, one could immediately tell something was horribly wrong with it. Unlike her other Deku eye, which was a fiery red-orange, her right eye was a milky orange, and it looked hard and glassy. The magnitude of what this meant finally sank into Edd, and immediately he lost his appetite. Jim just sat there, speechless. The astronomer had a pitying glint in his eyes, but said nothing out of respect. Tatl wasn't planning on saying it out loud, but she now felt sorry for her unwitting companions and felt guilty her young life wasn't as messed up as theirs. "My mom got full custody of me, and my dad got fifteen years in prison," Marie finished. "My sisters and I fight a lot, but they do stick by me, and my mom cares about all of us, but not a day goes by where I don't think about the day my dad'll get outta prison."

She then glanced up at Edd, letting her hair fall back down. "Ya know, that's why I chase you a lot. If I ever found a decent guy who I knew would take care of me, I'd grab on and never let go."

Edd felt his cheeks warm up, and he realized he was blushing_. I never thought of it that way before_, he thought_. I guess I never thought about what her feelings might be. I feel so…callous now._

Edd looked towards the astronomer. "Sorry we had to create such a dreary atmosphere, sir."

"I don't mind at all," the old man replied, smiling again. "I always say it's better to let it out than let it bottle up within. Now, you said you were looking for me. What can I help you with?"

Edd sniffed and said, "Well, the Great Fairy in North Clock Town said you may know where the Skull Kid might be."

The astronomer frowned slightly. "Ah yes, the Skull Kid. He was actually here not too long ago. Rather nasty one, that boy."

Jim huffed. "I knew we shouldn't have let him into the gang."

"Yes, well, as to where he is, I believe my telescope can help. Follow me."

The old man slowly ascended the stairs, followed by the kids until they reached the top floor. The room above was also scattered with random papers. Edd happened to notice one in particular and picked it up. It was a map of a large landmass, but he was unfortunately unable to decipher the Hylian letters. _Interesting, _he thought. _This must be a map of whatever world we've walked into. There only seems to be one landmass, though. Almost like Pangaea._

Meanwhile, the astronomer was adjusting his rather large telescope and finally said, "Aha! There you are."

Everyone looked up at this and rushed over to the old man's side. "Have a look, won't you?" he invited.

Edd gazed into the telescope and immediately saw someone atop the Clock Tower. There was no mistaking it; it was the Skull Kid. "He's on top of the Clock Tower," Edd revealed before stepping aside so Link could see. As he saw the Skull Kid, Link said, "Damn. How do we get to him?"

As Jim and Marie took turns catching glimpses of the Skull Kid, the old man caught Link and Edd's attention. "In two days, at the stroke of midnight, the Clock Tower will change its position for the carnival. The way to the Skull Kid should be open then."

Suddenly they heard Marie utter, "Uh, guys? I think he knows we're watchin' him."

Everyone immediately crowded around the telescope and saw that the Skull Kid was staring directly at them. The eyes of the mask on his face bore into their souls. The Skull Kid then looked up, and the astronomer, curious as to what he was staring at, turned the telescope upwards towards the looming moon. Suddenly, a streak of light shot out of the moon's eye and shot downwards towards earth. "Gracious!" the old man shouted as the object made landfall right outside the astronomer's house, shaking the foundations of the room.

Everyone had grabbed hold of something and just stayed silent for a moment. After a few moments, Edd broke the silence. "I'm…going out there to see what happened."

Edd slowly opened the door and looked outside. "My word," he uttered as he saw what was out there.

Everyone could see him picking something up, but they couldn't see what it was until he turned around and walked back inside. He was holding a small, teardrop-shaped stone that glowed an ethereal blue. The astronomer widened his eyes. "That's…a Moon's Tear!" he exclaimed.

"It's so…pretty," Marie whispered, breathtaken by the beautiful stone in Edd's hands.

"This is a rare stone, a very rare stone indeed," the astronomer said in awe. "They usually fall only during times of great crisis, and they always appear to originate from the moon's eye, thus the name. I've never been able to understand how this happens. But such a stone is very valuable and coveted by many."

"How…is it glowing?" Edd questioned slowly, mesmerized by the Moon's Tear in his hand.

The old man scratched his chin. "Well, I've heard some old legends about a world inside the moon, a spirit realm of sorts once used as a meeting place for the four gods of this land. Some might say this spirit realm might introduce the possibility that the moon is a sentient being powered by the spiritual energy flowing from within. That would mean these Moon's Tears are exactly that: our moon lamenting whatever crisis that has befallen Termina. It's actually a rather…unsettling thought, considering the current circumstances."

Link blinked in surprise before letting the realization sink in. "The moon…it's afraid."

Everyone looked at Link. "It makes sense, doesn't it?"

"I…suppose," Edd reluctantly agreed. "The resulting impact would probably destroy the moon as well as every living thing on this world. If I were a sentient celestial body, I'd be frightened too."

"I may just be an old man, but I have a feeling the Skull Kid has something to do with what is transpiring right now."

Jim was flabbergasted. "Wait…you mean that little troublemaker is responsible for all of this?_!_"

"Wh…why would he even do something like that?_!_" Tatl gasped. "It…doesn't make any sense! He'd be killing himself along with everyone else!"

The old man shook his head. "I cannot be certain but…there's something…off about that mask of his. I regret that I have little knowledge of the old tales, but that mask still rings a bell in this old man's head."

"Again with the mask?" Marie interrupted. "I can't see how a costume piece could cause all this."

"Never judge a book by its cover, young lass," the astronomer chided. "There's more to this than what one might initially believe."

Link's wooden face hardened in determination. "That settles it. We have to find some way to get to that Skull Kid fast."

"You had best hurry then," the astronomer said. "According to my calculations, the moon will fall at exactly six in the morning three days from now."

Jim turned to the three Deku children. "Alright! The Skull Kid's on top of the Clock Tower. At midnight two days from now, the Clock Tower's gonna change position, and we'll be able to get to the top. That means we have a day and a half to prepare!"

Link looked hesitant. "I really don't think it's wise for you to…"

"Listen, Deku," Jim interrupted firmly, actually sounding more mature. "I'm a Bomber. This is what we do. The old man says a leader doesn't do what he wants, but what is right, right? And someone's gotta stop that Skull Kid! So let's get the rest of the gang together, and we'll come up with a plan!"

Link sighed in resignation. Edd sighed to alleviate his fear and placed the Moon's Tear into a zippered pocket on his shorts. "Let's do this, then!" Marie yelled in excitement.


	7. Ed Samaritans

**I know I changed a few details here to make the plot more convenient, like Gorman not going to the bar until nighttime or people leaving the Stock Pot Inn because of the moon, but whatever. Nothing too bad.**

**XXXXX000XXXXXX**

**Chapter Seven: Ed Samaritans**

Night had fully set in, and Lee was starting to get frustrated. She and Ed had been searching around for hours and had found nothing that would lead them to their quarry. Ed's stupidity did not help at all. They finally returned to East Clock Town, where Lee started pacing about, deep in thought, while Ed shook a box he happened to find in the middle of the street by the lamppost. Hearing something inside, Ed smashed the container against the ground, shattering it to pieces and producing a small green jewel. Lee jumped at the noise and glared at Ed. "Hey, lamebrain! Keep it down, will ya? I'm tryin' to think here!"

Ed gave no indication he was listening, for he was focused on the Green Rupee he had just found and was ogling it. Lee pinched her forehead in exasperation. Then she happened to notice something above Ed. There was an alcove on the roof of a shop bearing a large drawing of an octopus-like creature that led into a space surrounded by wooden walls. "Hey, Ed!" Lee yelled. "Go see what's up there!"

Ed looked up at where Lee was pointing and then back at her with a confused expression. "But how will I get up there?" he asked.

"Here, let me help you."

And once again, Ed achieved flight thanks to Lee's mighty foot kicking him in the seat of his pants. Poor Ed screamed until he faceplanted into the wall and staggered around, giggly and delirious. "Huh huh, chickens," Ed muttered before he collapsed on the roof.

Lee just stared at where Ed had collapsed and shook her head. "Ah, he'll wake up eventually," she muttered to herself before walking off.

Not far ahead of her were two buildings sitting side-by-side, separated by the ramp that led to the mayor's office. She glanced at both of them and sighed. _Crud. If only I could understand what the heck those signs said._

Suddenly the door of the building on the left opened, and a gruff-looking man in expensive-looking Elizabethan clothes, complete with ruffles around the neck, walked out. He had smooth brown hair parted down the middle of his scalp, thick eyebrows, and a very large moustache. He looked angry about something as he headed towards the other building. Lee shrugged her shoulders and went to talk to the man. As he neared the door, Lee came up from behind and said, "'Scuse me, sir. Ya mind tellin' me what these signs say?"

The man whirled around and gave her a hard glance. "Bah! Bother! Bother! I'm busy!"

Lee narrowed her eyes and grabbed the man by his ruffles and pulled him close to her face. The man yelped in surprise but was immediately quieted by Lee's dangerous tone. "Listen, buddy. I don't care how busy you are, or what you're pissed off about. All I want to know is what the signs to these two buildings say."

Lee gestured towards them, and the man's gaze followed her fingers. Finally he glared back at her, and said, "What, you can't read Hylian?"

"I wouldn't be askin' ya otherwise, smart guy."

The man 'hmph'ed and responded, "Let go of me and I'll tell you, then."

Lee released her hold on his collar. The man adjusted his ruffles before grumpily explaining, "This here's the Milk Bar, and that over there's the Stock Pot Inn. Now quit bothering me!"

The man turned around and entered the Milk Bar, slamming the door behind him. Lee turned her head towards the Stock Pot Inn. _Hmm. So that's an inn. Looks like we'll be sleepin' there tonight. Better round up May and the boys._

As she started walking back towards where she left Ed, she suddenly saw the dimwitted lug jump off the ledge and smack into the pavement, leaving a small crater where he landed. Ed, of course, was none the worse for wear as he got to his feet, laughing giddily. "Look what I found!" he yelled excitedly, holding up his newest discovery.

Lee glanced at the jewel in Ed's hand. It was grayish-silver in color, and was shaped in the form of an elongated hexagon. "Ed, didn't ya find a green jewel just like this a few minutes ago?" Lee asked curiously.

"Yep!" Ed replied, fishing out the other jewel from his pocket.

Lee scratched her chin as she looked at the rupees. "Somethin' tells me these are important. Better hold onto 'em, big guy."

Ed pocketed them right away. "Now let's go find the other two. I found us a place to stay."

XXXXXX

Eddy was disappointed by the fact that most of the townspeople had gone inside for the night, as that left him with nobody to scam. Bored, he just started wandering around town with May in tow. It wasn't long until they had wandered into the northern district of Clock Town. There was not much to see here. An old woman with a sack was slowly walking across the path towards Eddy and May, and Eddy was about to turn around when he suddenly noticed something suspicious.

A prancing bald man with a grinning face was approaching the old lady, and something told Eddy deep down that this man didn't have good intentions. Sure enough, the man suddenly grabbed the old woman's sack and pushed her to the ground. "Agh! Stop! Thief! Somebody help!" she called in horror.

Eddy and May watched what happened with a look of anger. That guy had just assaulted an old lady who couldn't even put up a fight. That was _wrong_. Eddy ran towards the thief and yelled, "Hey, you! What's your problem, stealin' from old ladies?_!_"

The thief glanced his way and bolted. "Hey, come back here, you!" Eddy cried angrily. "May, catch that guy!"

May obligingly ran after the thief. Being faster than Eddy, she was able to catch up to the thief sooner and grabbed hold of his legs. Caught by surprise, the thief fell forward, accidentally letting go of his haul. Eddy ran forward and grabbed the sack, getting it out of the thief's reach. "Why you little-!" the thief growled angrily.

He managed to wiggle out of May's hold and sprang to his feet. "Gimme that back, you little runt!"

"What, this?" Eddy queried, shaking the bag. "Want it? Come an' get it, you creep!"

The thief was able to take one step forward before a whistle blew off to the side, followed by an authorative voice. "Sakon! You won't escape this time!"

The voice belonged to the North Clock Town gate guard, who ran towards the scene brandishing his spear. Sakon glared at the guard, then said to Eddy, "This ain't over, you little punk!"

Sakon took off with the guard in hot pursuit. Unfortunately, Sakon was faster than the armor-clad soldier and quickly escaped through the northern gate. As soon as Sakon was gone, the soldier halted. "Ah! Got away again!" he cursed. "Damn that man!"

The soldier and the two kids then ran to the old woman's side. May and the soldier helped her to her feet and Eddy gave her the sack. "Oh, thank you, sirs!" she exclaimed thankfully. "I never would have thought Sakon would target a poor old hag like me."

"I'm glad you're alright, ma'am," the soldier said. "I'm going back to my post. Maybe next time we'll catch him."

The guard then walked off to return to the northern gate. "Thank you for your kindness, young ones. Now I'll be able to sell the big bomb bags at my shop!"

Eddy puffed out his chest with pride. "All in a day's work for Eddy the Good Samaritan!"

"Oh, how can I ever repay you?"

Eddy grinned. "Some cash would be nice."

"Eddy!" May chided, appalled.

"Oh…I'm afraid I don't have any money on me…but hopefully this can be of use to you."

The old woman rummaged around her sack until she pulled out a round, black mask with a white skull painted on it and handed it to Eddy. "This is a Bomb Mask. It is a magic mask with the power to detonate like a bomb without being destroyed. The explosions might jar you a little, but it won't seriously injure you. All you have to do is wear it in order to set the timer. It will be reusable one hour after each detonation. Have fun, and thank you!"

The old lady hoisted the sack over her shoulder and walked off into South Clock Town. Eddy stared at the Bomb Mask in his hands, then at May. "We can probably sell it somewhere," Eddy surmised, a greedy glint in his eye.

"Eddy, how rude can ya _get_?" May shouted, clearly upset. "That lady gave ya a gift that might come in handy, outta the goodness of her heart! It's rude of ya to think about sellin' somethin' like that!"

Eddy blinked in surprise and then scowled. "Sheesh, when did _you_ become my mother?"

At that moment, Lee and Ed appeared from the entryway to East Clock Town. "Alright, ya numbskulls," Lee said, catching Eddy and May's attention. "It's startin' to get late. I found an inn not far from here. We can crash there."

"Hmph, I suppose it's better than nuthin'," Eddy glowered. "But I ain't bunkin' with you or May."

"Fair enough. Now let's go before they close."

The four kids made their way back into East Clock Town, and Lee led them over to the Stock pot Inn. Thankfully the door was unlocked, so they all went inside. The lobby was simple but homely. A potted plant sat in a corner by the door, and a series of large, creepy-looking masks adorned the walls above them. Behind the front desk was a young woman with auburn hair and a plain dress. Seeing the kids, she smiled warmly. "Why, hello. Welcome to the Stock Pot Inn."

Lee walked over to the front desk. "Yeah, we're lookin' to stay in two rooms tonight."

"Well, normally I would ask if you had a reservation, but some of my customers have decided to pack up and leave prematurely. I'm afraid I can't blame them."

"What're ya talkin' about?" Lee asked.

"Oh my, you haven't heard the rumors?" the lady responded.

The four visitors all shook their heads in unison. "Oh…well, the rumors say that two and a half days from now, the moon will fall."

The Kankers and Ed boys looked at each other before bursting into laughter. "Ha! Just like how the world's gonna end in 2012!" Eddy guffawed. "Yeah, right!"

The woman closed her eyes and hung her head a little. "Well, not everybody believes the rumors, and those that do have already fled."

The kids managed to calm down, and Lee replied, "Well, rumors or no rumors, we're here cuz we're lookin' for some people who wound up here, and we ain't leavin' 'til we find 'em!"

"Well, I can't complain. Business is always good. You said you wanted two rooms? That will be eighty rupees."

"Eighty what?" Eddy asked. "I ain't ever heard of rupees."

"You're…not from around here, are you?" the lady asked.

"No, can't say we are," Lee answered plainly. Then something clicked in her head. "Wait a minute. Ed! Yer jewels! Let me see 'em!"

Ed's eyes widened in surprise and horror. "No! Not my jewels!"

"You blockhead, those jewels are probably the rupees she's talkin' about! Hand 'em over!"

"Ed! You had money?_!_ Why didn't ya tell me?_!_" Eddy interjected angrily.

Lee held her hand out. Ed started to get teary-eyed as he pulled out the two rupees he had found and slowly dropped them in Lee's hand. "There ya go, how much is that?" Lee asked, handing the receptionist the rupees.

"More than enough," the lady answered. "One silver rupee is worth a hundred green rupees, and green rupees are of the lowest monetary value."

The lady took the silver rupee, handed back the green rupee, and opened the register, taking out a red rupee and handing it to Lee. "Purple rupees are worth fifty green rupees, red ones are worth twenty, and blue ones are worth five. The rare yellow rupees are worth two hundred green rupees. You'll find rupees almost everywhere. Even wild animals have been known to carry them."

Hearing this, Eddy rubbed his hands together and laughed sinisterly, and many monsters and animals around the world suddenly felt the need to hide in a hole with their mothers. "You will be staying in the Knife and Blade Chambers. Here are your room keys," the receptionist said, handing Lee two keys. "Please relax."

"Will do."

"Our rooms are just up the stairs to your right."

Everybody looked at the stairs and began to ascend the steps. Lee turned to Eddy. "Here."

She then tossed him the key to the Knife Chamber. "Sweet dreams, dreamboat. Come on, May."

Eddy looked at the key for a moment and then nudged Ed. "C'mon, Lumpy."

The Eds and Kankers then retired to their rooms. As Eddy unlocked his door and walked in, he noticed a treasure chest situated near the table. "Haha!" Eddy laughed as he bolted over to it. "Sweet! We're gettin' a refund!"

Eddy kicked the chest open and noticed a Silver Rupee inside. Laughing merrily, he pocketed the jewel before turning to Ed. "Alright, let's get some shut-eye. See ya in the mornin', Lumpy."


	8. Strategies and Heartache

**Chapter Eight: Strategies and Heartache**

(Dawn of the Second Day, 6:00 am, 48 hours remain)

Edd, Marie, Link, and Jim had all spent the night at the astronomer's place and managed to get some sleep. The rooster sitting in the hanging cage somehow knew that the dawn had come, and proclaimed its joy to the heavens. The resounding cock-a-doodle-doo awoke everyone from their (formerly) peaceful rest. Edd groggily rubbed his eyes as he sat up. Marie yawned and stretched. Link was up the quickest, and Jim was putting on his bandana. As everyone finished the process of waking up, they all gathered around each other. "Okay," Jim began. "First I'm gonna round up the other Bombers, and then we'll start strategizing."

Jim clasped his hands behind his back. "And there's something else I want you all to know. I don't usually do this, so you better feel honored. Under the current circumstances, I'm officially making you all honorary Bombers members!"

"Umm…okay," Marie said with a raised eyebrow.

"Now let's go!"

XXXXXX

Lee awoke to the sounds of thunder and rain. Groggily she looked towards the window by her bed and saw raindrops pounding against the glass, accompanied by the occasional flash of lightning. "Rain," she murmured in displeasure. "Wonderful."

May was shaken out of her sleep by the noise as well. "Huh…what?"

"It's rainin' cats an' dogs out there," Lee grunted. "Looks like we won't be goin' anywhere 'til it lets up."

"Oh," May answered glumly. "Marie always hated the rain."

Lee sat up and sighed. "Yeah. If she's still here, she probably won't be outside either. We'll start lookin' again when it lets up."

Lee then heard her stomach growl discontentedly. "In the meantime, let's get sumthin' to eat."

XXXXXX

Eddy was unable to sleep for most of the night due to Ed's obnoxious snoring, and was miserable when morning came. Ed, oblivious to said misery, woke up first and yelled happily, "Good morning, Eddy!"

Eddy promptly threw his pillow at Ed's face and knocked over the simpleton. "You kept me up most of the night with your snoring, ya lumberjack!" Eddy bemoaned groggily. "If ya don't mind, I'd like to catch up. Go eat or somethin', anything that doesn't keep me awake!"

"Sure thing, Eddy!"

Ed stood up and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him as Eddy pulled the covers over his head and went back to sleep.

Ed suddenly smelled food as he left the room and immediately began following the scent with a wide grin. As he came upon the stairs, he suddenly noticed the two Kanker sisters ahead of him descending as well, talking with one another. Ed made sure to keep his distance, not wanting to be seen by May and potentially get infected with "girl germs" again as he was always afraid of. Unfortunately, Lee heard him and turned around, sneering as she saw him. "Hey there, flathead!" she crowed. "Where's dreamboat?"

Ed froze in fear as May turned around, a great big smile stretching across her face as she saw her man. "Morning, Big Ed!" she greeted, waving at him.

Suddenly they were all caught off-guard by a new voice. "Oh! I didn't notice you were awake, children!" came the voice of the receptionist, who appeared from round the corner. "I bet you're hungry. My mother just finished making breakfast for the guests. Won't you partake?"

"Thought I smelled somethin'," Lee said with a grin.

The receptionist smiled in turn and turned her head down the hall. "Mother! Some of our guests are awake! Would you please ready three plates?"

"Right away, Anju dear," an older woman's voice replied from a distance.

"Please follow me," Anju motioned in a friendly tone.

Lee and May promptly followed, Ed hesitantly joining them a moment later. They walked past a few doors until they reached the kitchen, where a rather heavy-set woman bearing some resemblance to Anju was getting out three plates and some silverware. She seemed to have just finished making bacon and eggs for the patrons and was now placing some on the plates. "Here you go," Anju's mother said, handing the three kids their breakfast.

Suddenly the sound of a door slamming open echoed throughout the building, jolting all five of them. "Oh my!"Anju yelped in surprise. "What's going on?"

Curious, Lee, May, and Ed followed Anju to the lobby where they saw a disheveled figure slam the door behind him. With a smirk, Lee recognized him as the man she had roughed up last night for information. Anju widened her eyes. "Gorman! What happened to you? You look awful!"

Gorman was swaying a little, his face red, and his eyes puffy and bloodshot. The man was, completely and undeniably, drunk out of his skull. "Bahh…Bother…I is busy," Gorman slurred, making his way towards the stairs.

"Heh, somebody was a little too into their bottles last night," Lee surmised with a wry smile.

Gorman turned her way, and was too wasted to recognize Lee. "Me…drunk? Silly *hic* girl…I wissssssssshhhh I coul' get drunk *hic* like everyone else…*hic*…But it jus' doesn't seems to affect me."

Lee scowled. _Reminds me a little too much of my old man, _she thought as Gorman began ascending the stairs.

The man hadn't made it three steps before he fell flat on his face. "Oh my goodness!"Anju yelled in horror, rushing to Gorman's side. "Gorman, are you alright?"

"I jus'…tripped…*hic*…"

Lee rolled her eyes and walked over to Gorman's other side. "Where's his room? Let's get 'im outta the hallway so he don't get in everybody's way."

Anju nodded, and the two young women each put one of Gorman's arms around their shoulders and hoisted him to his feet. "I…I'm tellin' you…I ain't…*hic*…drunk…" Gorman stuttered drunkenly.

"You're wasted worse than a depressed pirate," Lee grumbled as the two of them began hauling Gorman up the stairs.

"Ah, what do the three of you know?" Gorman answered, glaring deliriously at Lee.

Lee gritted her teeth in annoyance. _Lord help me_.

XXXXXX

As soon as Edd, Marie, Link, Tatl, and Jim walked outside, they noticed to their chagrin that it was now raining. Marie was not thrilled to see this, but kept her displeasure to herself. However, she did not fail to notice that the rain actually felt rejuvenating to her, which made sense in context since she was currently a talking plant. "Good thing I brought my whistle," Jim remarked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a white whistle. "This'll get their attention."

Jim promptly blew the whistle, forcing the others to cover their ears due to how unnaturally loud it was. "Good lord, at least give us a warning before you try to blow out our eardrums!" Edd protested indignantly as he massaged his ears.

"Sorry."

It wasn't long before more kids wearing the Bombers uniforms appeared from various parts of the town, rushing over to the origin of their boss's whistle. "Jim! You called!" one cried as he approached.

The others soon gathered around their leader and waited for orders. "Alright, men!" Jim began. "I've come up with an attack plan for tackling the Skull Kid! This is what we're gonna do! When the clock strikes midnight on the third day, the clock tower will be accessible to the public. We've determined the Skull Kid is there, having his fun at other people's expense. When we get up there, me and the Deku are gonna distract him with bubbles and slingshots while the rest of you pelt him from behind until he gives up!"

"You make it sound so deceptively simple," Link interrupted. "But there's more to it than that. There's something wrong about that mask he's wearing, and I have the feeling we're dealing with more than just a prankster. If we're really going to go through with this, we have to be extra careful. He might do something really dangerous to get rid of us."

"Any ideas?" Jim asked.

"Well, for one thing, he has my ocarina, which is of…great importance to me and might be useful if I were to get it back."

Marie raised her wooden eyebrows in interest. "What's so special about this ocarina of yours?"

Link hesitated. "Well, I really don't know if I should tell you, but…it's a sacred musical instrument with the ability to influence time. It's an old treasure of the Hylian Royal Family where I'm from, and my friend Princess Zelda entrusted it to me for safekeeping."

Edd was quiet the whole time. While he secretly wanted his precious hat back, deep down he knew it was of little importance compared to everything else they were doing. Finally he decided to speak up. "So, our primary target should be the ocarina. If we can get it out of Skull Kid's hands, Link might be able to use it."

He felt strange that he suddenly sounded a little bit like Eddy whenever he was laying out his plans for his scams. Jim nodded his head at Edd and then looked to the assembled group. "Alright, men! You have your orders! Let's get ourselves ready!"

XXXXXX

(3:00 pm, Second Day)

The day had been dreadfully boring so far, and due to this, Lee, Ed, and Eddy had all taken naps in the middle of the day. May, however, was still awake, but she was quite bored as well. Thankfully she had noticed that the rain was beginning to die down and was heading down towards the lobby when she suddenly saw the receptionist, Anju, walking ahead of her, carrying a flowery umbrella over her head. A dejected, sorrowful expression was written across her face that struck a chord in May's heart. Anju didn't seem to notice May as she headed out the door. The youngest Kanker girl then decided to follow her and see if there was anything she could do.

As May closed the door behind her, she saw Anju making her way towards South Clock Town, and she then kept pace a short distance behind Anju and followed her into the town square. The construction crew had made some progress with the tower, but May caught snippets of conversation concerning the rumors about the moon. May then noticed Anju heading up the stairs that led into an alleyway. Dodging the construction work, she made her way into the Laundry Pool and found Anju sitting forlornly on a little bench, glancing dejectedly at a letter in her hand. May took a deep breath and entered the Laundry Pool, making her presence known. Seeing May, Anju looked up in surprise. "Oh! Sorry, I didn't see you there."

"I don't mean to be nosy, but why are you so sad?" May asked sympathetically.

Anju sighed. This girl looked to be just old enough to understand this kind of thing. "I don't want to unnecessarily involve you, but…I was about to be married to my sweetheart. And then, just a few weeks ago, he disappeared…No one's seen any sign of him at all…my mother thinks that…"

Anju couldn't hold it any longer. She buried her face in her free hand as tears began to crawl down her face. "Oh, Kafei…what did I do wrong?" she sobbed quietly. "I don't understand…Why are you gone?"

Although the Eds would have never guessed it, May was a very empathetic person, and in a way, she understood what Anju was going through. Quietly she sat at Anju's side and smiled. "Maybe he's just trying to surprise you," she suggested. "Maybe he's out gettin' a big wedding present just for you, something hard to find!"

Anju was able to smile just a little bit, glad that someone was trying to reassure her in this time of need. "Thank you," she said. "I just…needed someone to talk to…My mother never really liked him, and she's convinced he ran off with my friend Cremia, but…Kafei would never do that…And with most of my other friends gone because of the rumors, I just feel…alone."

Anju suddenly let out a little gasp of surprise as she found herself being hugged by May. Smiling sadly, she returned the embrace, thankful she had found a new friend in this dismal time. Neither of them were aware of the masked figure watching them from behind a locked door at the far end of the Laundry Pool, gazing longingly at Anju and promising to himself he would do everything he could to keep his promise to her.

5


	9. Countdown to Catastrophe

**Oh, lookie here. More filler. I have to move the story along somehow, but I promise that the next chapter is where the action starts to pick up, so bear with me here.**

**XXXXXX000XXXXXXX**

**Chapter Nine: Countdown to Catastrophe**

(9:00 pm, Second Day, 33 hours remain)

It was a long, tiring day of practice, but Edd had survived. He and the other baleful polymorphs in his group had managed to somewhat adjust to shooting magic bubbles at various targets. Link was a crack shot, Edd had noticed. Marie wasn't that bad either. He, on the other hand, had to practice quite a bit before he was able to accurately target moving things, but he eventually got the hang of it, and for that, Edd was proud. At the present moment he was in his bed in the astronomer's house, lying awake as everyone else slept around him. As tired as he was, he couldn't sleep. Not with that _thing_ in the sky, anyway.

He'd been forced to look up the whole day during practice, and watching that giant, angry-looking chunk of rock slowly descending on the town was made it difficult to concentrate. But there was something else about this whole situation that made him on edge. _If what that gate guard said was true, Eddy and May are here in the town too, _Edd thought to himself in worry. _I bet Ed and Lee are with them. As if things couldn't get worse._

Edd sighed as he rubbed his eyes. _With Marie and I stuck in these forms, they definitely won't recognize us. Poor Ed…he'd probably strangle me and think I had eaten the real Double D. God, I hope this operation works tomorrow. Just the sight of that moon…_

Edd shuddered as he thought of the giant celestial object. _Ugh, I don't even want to think about it. The sooner this whole thing blows over, the bet…_

Suddenly Edd was startled out of his thoughts by the sounds of mumbling. Quickly looking towards the noise, he noticed Marie tossing and turning in her bed, a troubled look on her face as she slept fitfully.

_Strange, _Edd thought. _If I didn't know better, I'd say she was having a _nightmare_…_

XXXXXX

_Blackness. Complete, utter blackness is what Marie saw. And on top of that, she felt cold. Suddenly she heard an echoing laughter pierce her ears. It wasn't a child's laugh either, but one belonging to an older individual, thin, cold, and menacing. Then she saw Edd, standing there with a confused look on his face. "Double D?" she whispered._

_He turned in her direction, and suddenly his eyes went wide with fright as a low rumbling noise was heard. And then she saw it: a great wall of fire rushing towards them at phenomenal speeds. There was no way they could outrun it. Edd desperately extended his hand. "Marie!" he pleaded._

No. No! No no no no_! Marie reached for him, calling out his name in horror. He was her world. She couldn't lose him. But before their fingers could touch, the waves of fire were upon them. Marie was strangely unaffected, but that only made it worse, for before her very eyes, the flames consumed Edd's body. His flesh burned away from bone, which in turn burned to ashes, and the whole time he was screaming in agony. All she could do was scream with him as the man she loved burned away in front of her. She was still screaming when she finally awoke, the horror of her dreams fresh on her mind, as well as the sight of a pair of bulbous, round eyes staring mockingly at her through the flames, laughing maniacally._

XXXXXX

Everyone jolted awake at the sound of Marie's scream. Link nearly fell out of bed trying to grab a sword he forgot wasn't there. Tatl accidentally slammed into a pot and broke it. Edd yelped in terror and backed up against the wall. Jim flailed around in his blanket trying to grab his slingshot. And they all suddenly stopped at the sight of Marie sitting bolt upright in her bed and clutching herself frightfully. "What's going on?_!_" cried Jim. "What the heck was that about?_!_"

Marie didn't answer. She was breathing heavily as she slowly rocked herself back and forth. Edd, for reasons unknown even to him, felt compelled to slowly walk up to her side and put a hand on her shoulder. "M…Marie?" Edd asked cautiously, unsure of how she would respond.

Marie suddenly looked up at him and then did the one thing Edd thought he would never see tough and scary Marie Kanker do in his lifetime: she began to cry. Hysterical sobs echoed throughout the room as everyone stood there dumbfounded. "Marie! A-are you al…OOF!"

Edd suddenly found himself wrapped in Marie's arms as she cried hysterically into his shoulder. Unsure of what to do, Edd just stood there as Marie kept hold of him, not wanting to let him go. "You had a nightmare, didn't you?" Link asked.

Marie opened her good eye and glanced in his direction. "It's a side-effect of the magic. You're unsure about the operation. You're scared for those you care about. Those who are inexperienced at fully controlling their magical powers tend to have nightmares for the first few days until their bodies get used to it."

Edd turned his head towards Link. "How do you know that?"

"I've used magic before. The same exact thing happened to me. I dreamt that the forest was on fire, my friends were being murdered, and Ganondorf was there, mocking me the entire time. It's terrible how lucid those dreams are. You'd think they were real."

After a few more moments, Marie finally let go of Edd and rubbed her eyes. "I'm sorry, guys," she murmured. "We should get more sleep. And we should also do something else…_never mention what just happened to anyone._ Got it?"

The boys all dumbly nodded their heads, surprised by her sudden rebound, and returned to their beds to hopefully get some more sleep before the operation tomorrow.

XXXXXX

_He knew they were coming. He knew the Hero would be coming for him soon. But he wasn't worried. The boy's most important possession, that blasted Ocarina of Time, was in his puppet's (and by extension, his) hands, and the Master Sword was safely locked away back in Hyrule. The Champion of the Goddesses was essentially a rose without thorns, as far as he was concerned. He did remember, though, a time when a previous Champion of the Golden Ones struck down his own champion, Majora's Chosen. The great Demon King Demise, the Champion of the Fallen One. He was defeated by the first Hero of Legend. Wasn't that twig's name Link as well?_

_In the end, it didn't matter to Majora. The Hero of Legend was weaponless, and those two children his puppet decided to mug wouldn't be much of a problem either. Everything was working out for him perfectly. Majora always loved destroying things, murdering innocent people for the sheer thrill of it. But there was an extra investment in what he was doing. By destroying this world, he would get revenge on the Hero's legacy, and especially his holier-than-thou sisters. That thought filled him with just as much sadistic pleasure as wanton slaughter did. The hours were ticking by. The Skull Kid's fairy was getting antsy. Neither he nor his puppet paid him any mind as they together continued to call down the moon to complete its devastating descent._

_Whatever happened tomorrow night, Majora was going to have fun._

XXXXXX

(Dawn of the Final Day, 6:00 am, 24 hours remain)

Eddy, Lee, Ed, and May were all rudely awakened by a deep rumbling noise that shook the very foundations of the earth. "Whoa, what the heck?" Eddy yelped as he fell out of bed.

"EARTHQUAKE, EDDY!" Ed screamed in horror before jumping on top of Eddy and shielding him with his body.

"Gah! Get offa me, you big lug!"

The rumbling died down in moments, and it looked like nothing had been damaged. Ed finally acquiesced to his friend's request and got off of him. Huffing as he brushed himself off. "Well, since that woke us up, I think it's time we went lookin' for Double D some more."

Eddy whipped out a comb and combed his hair as he walked out the door with Ed in tow. The Kankers were just walking out of their rooms as well and the two pairs noticed each other. Lee sneered in her usual way. "You ready, dreamboat?"

"Whenever you are, Kanker," Eddy answered irritably.

"Good. You know the drill. Ed, with me. May, with Eddy."

"But Lee…"

A sharp look from Lee shut May right up. Eddy sighed. "Alright, Blondie. Let's go."

As the four of them walked outside, another tremor suddenly shook the earth before fizzling out as well. And to top it all off, there were people all over the place carrying bags containing their belongings and were heading towards the various exits from the town. The four of them looked upon the scene in confusion. "The heck?" Eddy queried. "Where're they all goin'?"

"Must be them silly rumors about the moon," Lee noted, folding her arms.

"Well, let's get a move on," Eddy declared, eager to get away from Lee.

The two groups then headed off in opposite directions. Eddy and May proceeded towards West Clock Town while Lee and Ed went towards South Clock Town. Once Eddy and May reached the shopping district, they noticed that the place was completely empty. Not a soul in sight. Eddy looked around. "Geez, these people are ridiculously superstitious," Eddy commented.

Eddy shoved his hands inside his pockets and began strolling down the street with May in tow. He had to admit, though, the atmosphere was rather eerie without people walking around. There was also a cloud of unexplainable dread that hung over the city, something that kept Eddy and May slightly on edge. Eddy decided not to think about it as he and May suddenly noticed a young man with dark red hair wearing a pair of sunglasses exiting one of the shops with luggage in hand. Before Eddy could say anything, May piped up, "Excuse me, mister?"

The man realized May was talking to him and sauntered over to them. "Whaddaya want? If you want me to sell ya somethin', I'm afraid now's not a really good time."

"We're not asking for you to!" May responded. "We just wanna know why everyone's clearin' outta this place so fast."

The two of them could almost see the look of shock behind the man's sunglasses as his mouth hung open a little. "You…you don't know? Seriously…_you don't know_?"

Eddy and May promptly shook their heads. The man sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Ah…perhaps it's better if you didn't know…Listen, it's just not wise to be in town right now…and I didn't believe all the talk at first, but…it's something that just can't be ignored anymore. That's why I'm closin' my Curiosity Shop and clearin' out too."

At the realization that this man was a salesman, all sense of warning immediately blew over Eddy's head as a sly grin spread over his face. "So…you in the mask-sellin' business?"

"Eddy!" May scolded, knowing exactly where he was going with this.

"Shut yer yap, May!"

"Hm? Oh, that does remind me! I happen to have a mask in my possession. I was gonna sell it for some hefty profit, but considering the current times, I don't think I'll be needin' it anymore."

"It won't explode, will it?"

"What? No! Only the Bomb Mask does that, and that one's pretty rare. In better times that could fetch a fancy price on the market."

Now he had Eddy's full attention.

The man opened up his suitcase and began rummaging through it. "No, what I have is different…aha!"

He suddenly pulled out a rather strange-looking mask and held it up for the kids to see. It was black, and looked like it was made out of many interconnected laces spider-webbing around each other to form the face. A pair of round white eyes with red irises adorned the face. "This here's the All-Night Mask. It's a special mask that when it is worn, will prevent you from falling asleep. As I remember, it was used as a torture device."

Now, to most people, being handed a magical object confirmed to have once been used to torture people would cause some slight discomfort. However, to Eddy, this only made the dollar signs in his eyes grow larger. "Gimme! Gimme!"

"Sure thing, kid. Take it."

The Curiosity Shop Owner then tossed the mask over to Eddy and shut his suitcase. Grabbing it, Eddy began chuckling hysterically before running off, May quickly following. "E-Eddy, wait up! Ya didn't thank the guy!"

Eddy only laughed louder. The man shook his head solemnly. _Poor kid. At least he can die happy_.

He cast one more glance heavenward before grabbing his suitcase and heading out of town. Meanwhile, Eddy was staring at the All-Night Mask near what looked to be the Post Office, a wide, greedy grin on his face. May just watched him impatiently as he ogled his prize. "Heh heh…this could probably sell fer millions back home! Once we find Sockhead and Marie, I'll be rollin' in dough in no time!"

"Hey, shorty! Let's get a move on!" May suddenly commanded, fed up with all of Eddy's distractions. All she wanted to do was find her sister, and Eddy's plans to make himself rich were not speeding things along.

Eddy rubbed his ears at the noise. "Jeez, fine, fine! We'll go lookin' for 'em again! Don't get yer panties in a bunch!"

The day wore on, with the occasional tremor to throw everyone off-balance, but the Eds and Kankers once again failed to find their missing teammates. Never once did they think to check in the sewers, or more specifically, the astral observatory.

5


	10. Operation Moonfall

**Chapter Ten: Operation Moonfall**

(Night of the Final Day, 11:00 pm, 7 hours remain)

The rumbling had started to intensify after the sun had set. Edd was practically shivering from fright. That thing looming over the town had gotten so _huge_ over the last three days, and its face was positioned directly overlooking the town square, the nose directly over the Clock Tower. It had gotten close enough that they could see it moving closer. Edd, Marie, and Link had spent most of the day with Jim and his fellow gang members going over the plan and familiarizing themselves with the layout of the Clock Tower. Currently they were holed up in the now-abandoned Stock Pot Inn, the door locked and the windows boarded up. Edd stood in the lobby, his hands clasped behind his back as he surveyed the Bombers handiwork sullenly. He sighed sadly. _There's no way this will shield them from the effect of the impact._

Marie walked up next to him and folded her arms, glancing over at Edd and flashing a grim smile. "You ready, sweetie?" she quipped playfully, hoping to finally get her favorite reaction out of him. Truthfully, she was starting to miss the fun she used to have with him, considering they had lately been a little distracted by the possible end of the world.

Edd jumped at her unexpected presence and started fidgeting. "Well, I…uh…I-I sup-p-pose I am…W-What ab-b-bout you?"

Marie threw her head back and laughed, causing Edd to blush slightly. "Oh, Double D, you're so fun to mess with! Lighten up, will ya? It's not like the world's about to end!"

"Uh, well, a-a-about that…"

"Double D?"

"Um…y-yes?"

"Shut up and get a sense of humor."

Edd really wished he had his beanie so he could pull it over his eyes to hide his embarrassment. Marie smirked as he settled with putting his hands over his eyes. "You're so cute when you do that. You know, I'd kiss you if I didn't think it would be awkward considering our current predicament."

Edd was so nervous he was starting to sweat. _Oh good lord, of all the times she had to start acting normal again…Why am I feeling this? I feel scared but…not in the same way as I was before…How strange…_

Then Edd's face went from embarrassment to worried and a little depressed a little too quickly for Marie's comfort. "Uh, Double D? What's wrong?"

Edd sighed again. "The world's about to end, Marie. And we're trapped here. And our only chance, however slim it may be, lies with people we don't even know. And to top it all off, your sisters and my friends are also somehow here in town as well. If only we could go look for them…"

Marie looked away for a moment, understanding what he meant. "For all I know, they could have no idea what's going on. If we don't succeed, we might be killed, and the people we care about will be resigned to this world's fate as well. It's a lot to have thrust upon your shoulders, don't you think?"

Marie hung her head low, frowning dejectedly. "Yeah…"

Suddenly the sound of Jim's voice echoed throughout the room as the Bomber leader waltzed in with Link, Tatl, and the other gang members in tow. "Alright, all of you! Gather round!"

Edd and Marie turned around and walked over to the others. "Alright guys, I've been workin' on some weapons for us to use when we get to the Skull Kid," Jim began as he held up some freshly-made slingshots and pea-shooters. "The Deku have their own projectles, so this is for the rest of you!" He began passing out the weapons to the gang members around him. "Are you all clear with the plan?"

"So let me see if I have your plan understood correctly," Edd stated. "When the clock strikes midnight, the Clock Tower will open up a passage to the top to where the Skull Kid is hiding. You, Link, Tatl, Marie, Number Two, and I will proceed up to the Clock Tower and engage him with peashooters and slingshots. The rest of you are going to hole up here and guard the fort. Hopefully our ambush is supposed to be enough to convince the Skull Kid to let up and reverse the moon's trajectory. In the event that we are…unsuccessful…" a solemn silence momentarily dominated the conversation. "…The rest of you, as well as whatever survivors there are from Team One will escape the town through the East Gate and head towards…uh…"

"Ikana Canyon," Jim finished. "The mountains there might be enough to shield us from the moon's impact. If we fail in the thirty or so minutes after midnight, it might give us enough time to reach the canyon."

Somehow, Edd and Marie doubted that was true. However, they kept their thoughts to themselves as Tatl suddenly said, "Guys, it's almost time…"

The whole group then looked up at the clock next to the fairy. Two minutes 'til midnight. "Alright guys, let's go!" Jim hollered, unlocking the door and rushing outside.

Number Two followed right behind, while Link, Tatl, Edd, and Marie all gave each other reassuring looks before going as well. The rest of the Bombers gang watched them go before turning to each other. "So guy," Number Three said. "Who's up for hiding under those beds?"

Once Team One was outside, they chanced a collective glance at the moon, which now almost took up the entire view of the sky. Edd gulped. _Either this works or we're all dead, _he thought grimly.

XXXXXX

Eddy, Ed, May, and Lee all met up by the Stock Pot Inn just seconds after their quarry left, and of course were completely unaware of this as they sighed dejectedly. "No luck, huh?" Lee mused.

"Nah, you?" Eddy grumbled.

Lee shook her head. "Maybe they ain't in town anymore. Tomorrow we're going to search outside this place."

Lee then grabbed the door handle, but to everyone's surprise, it was locked. "What the…?" Lee started.

The eldest Kanker sister began jiggling the door handle, pushing against it, and banging it with her fists, but no one answered. "Oh, great!" Eddy whined angrily. "This is just _great_! Now the guys at the inn ran off too and left us all here to sleep out in the cold!"

Ed continued to be off in his own little world, but May happened to turn her head and saw shadows making their way towards South Clock Town. "Hey, guys!" she said, catching her companions' attention and pointing towards the fleeing silhouettes. "Maybe that's them!"

The other three turned towards where May was pointing and saw them disappear around the corner. "No time to waste! After 'em!" Eddy declared, taking off with the others in tow, Ed laughing stupidly as they ran.

XXXXXX

Team One was almost all the way down the stairs when the Clock Tower suddenly chimed loudly, signaling midnight. But this time it did something else as well. The bulbous top of the tower began reaching towards the moon on a long wooden beam, the clock faces rising with it. And all the while, fireworks exploded around it, as if the town was desperately trying to cheer itself up in the face of impending doom. Finally the moving parts of the structure tipped onto the side, exposing the clock to the sky and turning it into a platform. Beneath the structure, a wall fell, followed by another, and another, until a set of stairs had formed that led inside the Clock Tower. Once this was done, the fireworks stopped.

Breaking out of their trance, Jim, Edd, Marie, Link, Tatle, and Two all began running as fast as they could towards the tower, passing by the irate construction leader, who was busy yelling at the moon. "Cowards! Not a one of you stayed! My apprentice will be disgusted with all 'o you! If you're gonna fall_, then fall already_!"

They reached the tower, heaving themselves onto a platform that led to the stairs. Once everyone was together, they paused, Jim looking to his companions with a determined gaze. "You guys ready for this?" he asked firmly.

Two held up his slingshot and grinned. Link and Marie both nodded. After a moment of hesitation, Edd swallowed his fear and nodded as well. Tatl responded last. "Alright! Come on, let's go stop that Skull Kid!"

They then ran up the stairs and into danger. At the exact same time, Eddy, Ed, Lee, and May entered South Clock Town. Eddy glanced over at the Clock Tower just in time to see someone enter the tower. "Look, over there!" Eddy pointed. "Let's get 'em!"

They too, unknowingly, went racing towards imminent danger.

XXXXXX

A silent Skull Kid, floating overhead with his arms crossed, greeted the kids as they reached the top. "Skull Kid!" Jim cried. "You little jerk! You've been causin' a lotta trouble lately, and as leader of the Bombers…"

"Oh shut up, will you?" Skull Kid interrupted. "Wow, you're even less fun than I remember."

Suddenly a dark ball of light with wings shot out from behind the Skull Kid. "Sis!" Tael cried desperately to his sister.

"Tael! Get away from the Skull Kid, now!" Tatl answered firmly.

Tael flitted in front of the Skull Kid and said, "Swamp…Mountain…Ocean…Canyon…Hurry…the four who are there…bring them here!"

Before anyone could blink, the Skull Kid backhanded Tael with a displeased growl. "Keep your mouth shut, stupid fairy!"

Everyone recoiled in shock at the Skull Kid's actions, particularly Tatl, who shrieked in horror. "Hey! That's my brother, Skull Kid! Don't you _dare_ hit him!"

"I concur," Edd yelled, uncharacteristically angry. "Treating your own friends in such an abusive and hostile manner is unacceptable! Have you no conscience?"

"Yeah!" Marie added, a menacing edge in her voice. "Your attitude's rotten, kid! Why don'cha come down from there and see if you're so cocky after I'm through with you!"

"If you have any sense of reason, you'll return us to normal _right now_, Skull Kid!" Link yelled.

"Ha! What can you do, 'specially without _this_?" the Skull Kid retorted smugly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a light-blue ocarina. "You're all just a rose without thorns! You can't do anything against me! Or that, for that matter…"

Skull Kid pointed dismissively at the approaching moon, which was now even larger than before. "But if you think you can do somethin' about it, then be my guest!"

With that, the Skull Kid clenched his small fists and screamed towards the heavens. The mask's eyes lit up as Edd, Marie, and Link all felt the magical aura emanating from the sinister headpiece. Then, to their horror, the moon actually started falling _faster_. Edd widened his eyes in fear, but Jim held his ground and brought out his peashooter. "Alright, Skull Kid! You asked for it! Fire at will!" Jim cried, shooting his peashooter at Skull Kid's face.

The little pebble harmlessly bounced off the mask. Two brought out his slingshot and fired a rock at the Skull Kid, who swatted it nonchalantly out of the air. "Is that all ya got?" Skull Kid taunted with a laugh. "I'm not even impressed!"

This was the Deku's sign to attack, Link firing first, followed by Marie. The bubble shot towards Skull Kid, who tried to swat them aside as well. However, considering these weren't made of solid material, the bubbles just popped, leaving a sticky residue on Skull Kid's arm. "Oh, yuck! What is this?_!_"

Edd finally summoned up a little courage and fired a bubble as well, and its aim was true, smacking Skull Kid directly on the mask's face. The goo got in his eyes, and the little imp let out a cry of anger as he tried to pry the stuff off his mask, his grip on the ocarina loosening. Link leaned over to Jim. "Jim, shoot your peashooter at that ocarina."

Jim looked up at where Link was pointing and aimed his peashooter accordingly. Skull Kid yelped in pain and shock as he felt the pebble strike his forearm, dropping the ocarina in his surprise. Link leapt towards the musical instrument and seized it. And suddenly he stopped moving altogether. Meanwhile, Skull Kid had succeeded in pulling the goo off the mask and glared murderously at Jim. "You'll pay for that, punk!" he screeched in fury.

Suddenly the Skull Kid began charging a ball of energy in his other hand before hurling it at Jim. "Boss, look out!" Number Two cried, throwing himself between Jim and the oncoming energy ball. However, the energy struck Two with such force that it threw both of them back, and they tumbled over the wall and into the darkness below. Edd cried out with shock and horror and leaned over the side. "Jim! JIM!"

There was no answer in the darkness. Jim and Number Two were gone. Meanwhile, Marie was frantically shaking Link's arm, shrieking at him to snap out of his catatonic state and receiving no response. Edd whirled around and glared at the Skull Kid with a look of intense hatred that was wholly uncharacteristic of the young preteen. "You…you horrible, loathsome, heartless little bully!"

"Now now, no need to be mean!" Skull Kid sneered. "I can play nice! Ya want your silly hat back? Here, take it!"

The Skull Kid took off his straw hat and unceremoniously tossed Edd's beanie back at him. "It'll keep ya nice and warm in hell!"

Despite himself, Edd picked up his cherished beanie and put it back on his head, feeling a small sense of relief at being reunited with his most important piece of clothing.

"Hah…ah…jeez, I wasn't expectin' so many stairs!" came an unexpected voice from the direction of the trapdoor.

"Someone's outta shape, eh, dreamboat?"

Edd and Marie suddenly froze. _Those voices…they can't be_, they thought in unison.

Sure enough, four familiar figures suddenly walked onto the platform. "Where the heck are we?" Eddy said, throwing up his hands.

"How should I know? You led us up here!" Lee snapped.

"Yeah, Eddy!" May added.

"I like to dance with chickens!" Ed yelled in his usual out-there voice, grinning stupidly.

"Ed? Eddy?" Edd managed to gasp.

"Lee? May?" Marie uttered in shock.

The four of them suddenly looked up at their voices. "Double D! We found you!" Ed cried in absolute joy, seeing Edd and running towards him with his arms outstretched.

"Ed! No no no, wait, wait, _wait_!" Edd cried, putting his hands in front of his face, not wanting to be touched by as dirty a fellow as Ed.

Ed, of course, didn't listen, and wrapped up Edd into a bear hug. May happened to do the same to Marie, ignoring the middle Kanker sister's cries of protest. However, the smarter individuals immediately noticed something off, namely Eddy and Lee. "Wait a sec," Eddy said suspiciously as he approached Ed. "Ed, drop!"

Ed immediately complied, and that's when he suddenly noticed Edd's current condition. Before Edd could blink he found himself pinned to the ground by Ed, with a furious Eddy standing over him. "Who are you! What've you done with Double D?_!_" Ed demanded.

"Yeah, make like a canary and sing!" Eddy snapped.

"Hey! Who are you and what've you done with my sister?" Lee demanded while May kept Marie pinned against the ground.

"I _am_ your sister, you dweebs! Lemme go!"

"Ed, release me at once! You don't understand! We don't have time for this!" Edd cried. "We have to prevent the end of the world!"

"What the heck are you talkin' about?_!_" Eddy demanded.

"Look up."

Eddy did so, and immediately all color drained from his face. There above them was the moon, leering dangerously close to the Clock Tower. Edd calculated it was a mere mile from the earth now. "HOLY GUACAMOLE, IS THAT THE _MOON_?_!_" Eddy screamed in horror upon seeing its terrifying face literally almost on top of them.

Lee, May, and Ed all noticed Eddy looking up and followed suit.

"JESUS CHRIST IN A GO-KART!" Lee screamed.

"OH MY GOSH! IT'S GONNA KILL US!" May shrieked, letting go of Marie in her shock.

"DOOM!" Ed yelled.

The Skull Kid finally spoke, gaping at them in shock. "Are you for _real_?_!_ I spent three days bringin' this thing down, and you mean to tell me _you just now noticed it_?_!_ I can't believe the _nerve_ of you people!"

"What are we gonna do what are we gonna do what are we gonna do?" May shrieked in terror, tears coming to her eyes as she grabbed a hold of Lee.

"C-Calm down, May! H-have some dignity, will ya?" Lee yelled back, trying to hide the fear evident in her own voice.

Suddenly the soft sound of music reverberated through the air, cutting through the horror and despair like a knife through butter. Everyone looked towards Link, who had a tuba with five different-sized heads and was playing a strange melody on it. "Ha!" the Skull Kid sneered. "Playing your own funeral music? Fat lot of good that'll do…"

Skull Kid never finished his sentence, as there was a sudden blinding flash of light, and everything starting swirling around until it vanished into a white nothingness, the sound of clocks ticking all that could be heard as time began to reset itself.

7


	11. Of Masks and Time's Flow

**Warning: what follows borrows heavily from my own headcanon considering Majora's backstory. You will NOT find this in the game, though it you did, Majora would be ten times cooler.**

**XXXXXXX000XXXXXXX**

**Chapter Eleven: Of Masks and Time's Flow**

Edd found himself falling through a white void, wind whistling through his ears as images of clocks spinning the wrong way swirled around him. The same song Link had played, only this time sounding like it had come from an ocarina, echoed through the air as Edd continued to fall. _Is this it? _Edd wondered. _Did we fail? Am I dead?_

Suddenly the whiteness of the void darkened into a dismal black, and Edd yelled in horror as he was consumed by the darkness.

XXXXXX

(Dawn of the First Day, 6:00 am, 72 hours remain)

"Ah!" Edd stated as his feet suddenly touched earth.

Everything started coming into focus. Marie had landed next to him, although not on her feet. With a pained groan, she dragged herself to her feet. Link, who had also landed on his feet, put his strange instrument away, amazed he had even come across it. Edd looked around. "Daylight?" he mused almost to himself. "Did…did we win?"

"What happened?" Tatl queried in confusion. "Everything has…started over…"

Indeed it had. The plaza of South Clock Town was crowded with people once again. The construction workers were busy working on the celebration tower in its earliest stages. The Postman was running his daily mail route. The sun was just starting to peek over the town walls.

"Hey! What about the moon?_!_" Marie said, immediately prompting them to look up.

There, high above the sky, exactly where it was positioned the first time they had seen it, was the moon. The maniacal face was still superimposed on its surface, but at least it wasn't minutes from smashing the Clock Tower to bits. "I see now…" Edd stated, eyes wide. "I don't know how, I don't know why, but somehow, we have traveled back in time to when we first got here."

"It…looks like it, but…" Link began.

"_Time_!" Edd yelled, flinging his arms about. "We went back in_ time_! This goes against all logic! The laws of physics have just been defied! That's…impossible! How does that even work?_!_"

Tatl flitted in front of Link's face. "That song you played…who _are_ you?"

"Sssh!" Marie suddenly said, putting her hand up to her earhole. "You guys hear that?"

"Hear what?" Link asked.

"…aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAGH!"

The four of them looked up just in time to see four figures crash on top of them, Eddy landing on Edd, May falling on Marie, Lee on Link, and Tatl barely avoided being flattened by Ed. The big lug looked up at the upset fairy and smiled like an idiot. "Hi there, pretty firefly!"

"Firefly?_!_" Tatl huffed. "I should clock you upside the head, you idiot!"

"Get offa me, May!" Marie protested, struggling under May's bulk.

This, unfortunately, brought her sister to her senses, and held fast onto Marie, preventing her from moving. Lee jumped off of Link and strode over to them. Eddy, meanwhile, jumped off Edd and pointed at him. "Ed, get 'im!"

Edd didn't even have time to get up before he was pinned down once again by Ed. "Ow, Ed! Please let me go!"

"I have you now, foul beast!" Ed shouted while Eddy walked over and towered over Edd's prone form.

"Alright buddy, time for ya to fess up!" Eddy growled. "Where's Sockhead?"

"I _am_ Sockhead…uh, I mean, Double D!"

"Hah! Likely story."

"Where's our sister, ya freak?_!_" Lee demanded. "I swear to God, if she's hurt in any way, I'll pound ya like a nail!"

"You dweebs better let me go before I pound you _both_ like a nail!" Marie retorted, struggling against May.

"Hmph, don't listen to it, May," Lee stated, folding her arms.

"Guys, there's no need for this…" Link tried to interrupt.

"Stay outta this, scarecrow!" Eddy shouted, glaring at Link.

"Shut yer pie hole!" Lee added.

"Hey, dorks! Let off of them, will you?_!_" Tatl suddenly shouted, swatting Eddy and Lee upside the head.

"Hey, watch the hair!" Lee shouted.

"Dorks? _Dorks_?" Eddy snarled. "Jeez, you're just like Kevin!"

"Get off of them now! These really are the people you're looking for, Edd and Marie! Now if you'd just shut up for a minute and let us explain…"

"Oh, we need a lot of explainin' done, whatever you are!" Eddy retorted.

"Yeah!" Lee said. "First of all, where are we, who are you, and what the _hell_ is with that freaky moon 'o' yours?_!_"

XXXXXX

The door to the lower levels of the Clock Tower slowly opened up, allowing Edd, Link, and Marie to lead their still-hostile companions inside. "Back so soon?" a sudden, disturbingly sing-song inquired.

The Happy Mask Salesman promptly stepped out of the shadows, his hands clasped together. "Hey, wait a sec," Eddy paused. "What's this freak got to do with any of this?"

"I'm sorry, I don't think we're acquainted," the salesman said politely. "I am the Happy Mask Salesman."

"Huh, forgot us already?" Lee sneered, folding her arms.

"Yeah, even I know you, freak!" May added.

"Uh…who is this guy again?" Edd questioned, scratching his head.

The group collectively facepalmed. "Remember, Ed?" Eddy reminded his oafish friend. "Creepy-lookin' guy we met three days ago?"

"Sorry, children, but I have no clue who you are," the salesman apologized, overhearing the conversation before smiling at Link, Tatl, Marie, and Edd. "I do know you four, though. After all, we just met all of five minutes ago."

"But it feels like three days to us!" May exclaimed, blinking in confusion.

"I see. You must be time-travelers then! No wonder you made it back so fast."

"Wait wait wait," Eddy interrupted. "They time-traveled?"

"_We_ time-traveled?" Lee finished, astonished.

"Like Evil Tim?_!_" Ed exclaimed, a look of panic on his face.

The salesman ignored them as he addressed Link. "So, were you able to retrieve your precious items from that pesky little imp?"

"My ocarina? Yes, yes I did," Link answered.

"I got my hat back, too," Edd added, pointing to his beanie.

The salesman clapped his hands together, his smile widening. "Wonderful! Wonderful!"

"Ed, this guy's nuts," Eddy muttered. "They're all nuts."

The salesman turned around and walked back into the shadowy corner he had emerged from, and the sound of something heavy dragging across the floor penetrated their ears. The salesman pulled a comically-large piano that nearly stretched from wall to wall with three rows of keys out of the shadows and pulled up a chair. The Eds and Kankers all stared, mouths hanging open in utter shock. "Now Link, I want you to pay very close attention and play the song I am about to perform."

The salesman cracked his fingers in preparation, wiggling all ten fingers in a dramatic fashion. Expecting a complex melody, Link almost panicked as he withdrew his strange five-headed tuba. However, to everyone's surprise, the salesman began playing a slow, simple melody with only one finger. He then repeated it a second time. Ed started humming along as May commented, "It's so pretty." Lee, Marie, and Eddy just looked on with bored expressions. "Well, it's not exactly Mozart, but…" Edd commented as well, rubbing his head.

Link began playing the strange melody on his instrument, and once he was finished, he started swaying on his feet as if drunk, moaning slightly. "It turned him into a zombie?" Ed asked, slightly frightened.

"Shh, it's starting," the salesman answered quietly. "Now their true shapes are restored."

"Link, are you…" Edd began before he started feeling dizzy himself.

Marie was also wobbling unsteadily in place, and before anyone knew it, Link, Edd, and Marie all fell to the floor, their consciousness swirling out of focus as they descended into deep, quiet slumber.

XXXXXX

(First Day, 8:45 am, 69 hours, 15 minutes remain)

"I'm so booooooreed," Ed whined.

"Wanna go out into town and do somethin', Big Ed?" May asked hopefully, inching closer to Ed.

"Girl germs! Yucky, mushy girly-girl stuff!" Ed yelled, catapulting off the side rail into the water below, leaving May with a dejected look on her face.

"Hey, salesman guy!" Eddy commanded. "Play the theme from Night Court!"

The salesman smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, but I've never heard of that song."

"Alright, do the theme from Jaws!"

"Not familiar with that one either, I'm afraid."

"Well, what the heck?_! _What songs _do_ you know?"

"Well, there is one from where I come from. It's an old lullaby passed down by the Royal Family of Hyrule. As I understand, it's said to have mysterious powers."

"Hmph, knock yerself out."

The salesman nodded and returned to his place at the piano, wiggling his fingers in preparation before playing Zelda's Lullaby. It was a slow, beautiful tune that filled the listeners with a warm, comfortable feeling, like they would be safe at home for now and always. "It's so romantic," May said dreamily, smiling at the music.

"Yeah, gives me plenty of ideas," Lee smirked, glancing mischievously at Eddy.

The shortest Ed did not fail to notice this, and withdrew in terror. "Gah! Ed, move over, will ya!"

Eddy then leapt over the rail and joined Ed in the water, much to Lee's amusement. The salesman just kept playing until he was finished, and looked over to see Link, Marie, and Edd all stirring awake. "Well, it's about time you came to!" the salesman greeted.

"Uh…how long have we been out?" Marie grumbled, massaging her head.

"It's about nine in the morning," the salesman answered as the three of them got back to their feet.

"Marie! You're okay!" May suddenly screamed with joy upon seeing her sister awake, running over to her and wrapping her up in a tight hug.

"Ack!" Marie squirmed as May cried happy tears into her shoulders. "Gah…wait…you guys know it's me?"

"Yep," Lee answered, walking over to them with a grin on her face, her arms folded as usual. "See fer yourself."

Marie looked all over her arms and body, pinching her skin, touching her face and clothes, her joy rising. "I'm…me…! I'm human! Haha! I'm back to normal!"

She pumped her fist excitedly in the air before turning to Edd, who was similarly staring at his restored body in wonder. "Double D! You look like you!"

Edd suddenly found himself constricted by one of Marie's hugs as she laughed in exhilaration, planting kisses all over his face. "Uh…it-it s-s-seems I h-have…" Edd blushed, glancing about frantically, not knowing what to do now that there was a Kanker latched onto him. "Er…w-where are Ed a-a-and Eddy?"

Lee smirked. "They decided to take a bath."

"Double D? Double D?" came Ed's voice from down below, followed by splashing sounds.

"Is he awake? Move over, ya big lug! Lemme through!"

Edd then saw his two friends running up the stairs, completely soaked from head to toe. "Double D! You're awake!" Ed cried, running with his arms outstretched.

Marie saw him coming just in time to let go of Edd and dive to the side. Edd was then once more trapped in Ed's dirty embrace, the germaphobic preteen protesting all the while. Finally the big lug let go of Edd, who brushed himself off as Eddy sheepishly approached. "Oh, uh, hey there, Double D," Eddy began, looking down and shuffling his feet. "Uh, sorry about earlier…I…we…didn't know."

Edd laughed in relief, glad to see his friends again. "It's okay, Eddy. Don't beat yourself up over it."

Eddy glanced over at Tatl, who was hovering over Link as he approached the salesman. "The fairy told us everything," he informed, glancing back at Edd. "It's just…unreal."

Eddy then glanced over at Link. "So that's what he looks like, huh?" he asked.

"Kinda girly if ya ask me," Lee noted, causing Eddy to run over to the side wall as far away from Lee as he could get.

Edd then happened to listen in on the conversation between Link and the salesman. "The song you just learned is the Song of Healing," the salesman explained. "It's an ancient melody from long ago that heals broken, troubled spirits and undoes the curses of the dark ones, turning them into usable masks."

"Masks?" Edd queried.

"Yeah, look, Double D!" Ed exclaimed, bending down to pick something up and holding it up in front of his face. "This fell off your face when you fell asleep!"

Edd blinked in surprise. Ed was holding a wooden mask shaped to look like a Deku's face. The eyes were somehow still glowing. "That's a little disturbing…"

"By the way, Marie, this came off your face while you were out," Lee said, holding up a Deku mask of her own for Marie to see.

Link looked at his own Deku mask in his hand. "The curse inflicted upon you by the Skull Kid has been contained within these masks," the salesman continued. "I'm sure they will prove useful in the near future."

"How's that?" Marie questioned.

"When you put on the mask, it will transform you back into a Deku scrub. To change back, all you have to do is remove it from your face."

"So it's a transformation mask," Link mused, inspecting his mask before stockpiling it in his inventory.

"Here ya go, Double D!" Ed said happily, holding the Deku mask towards Edd.

"Ah, no thanks, Ed," Edd responded, holding up his hands and smiling. "I've had enough of this Deku business for now."

"Wheeeee!" Ed cheered playfully, placing the mask over his face.

There was a blinding flash of light, followed by an extremely amusing sight. Ed, in a much smaller Deku form and a smaller (though still equally as dirty) jacket, danced around happily. Eddy, Lee, and May couldn't stop themselves from laughing hysterically. "You can't catch me Eddy!" Ed yelled in a high-pitched version of his usual voice, catching his friend's attention. "I'm the gingerbread man!"

"Why you little-!" Eddy yelled and began pursuing Ed around the room, Lee and May caught up in hysterical fits of laughter at the scene.

Edd shook his head in disbelief, Marie just standing next to him as she stared amused at the scene. "It's as if they don't have a care in the world," Edd mused. He then turned his attention towards Link and said, "I have to say, link, you most certainly are full of surprises."

Link turned towards him. "Huh? Oh…yeah," he responded with an embarrassed laugh, scratching his head.

"What's with that flute of yours anyway?" Marie asked. "How were you able to get us to time-travel? What was the deal with that song?"

Link brought it out for them to see. "Remember what I said earlier? This is the Ocarina of Time. It was a closely-guarded treasure of the Hyrulean Royal Family. Because I'm a good friend of the Princess, Zelda, it was entrusted to me for safekeeping. That song you heard me play was the Song of Time. It has a lot of mysterious powers, but the song's never done something like this before. It even changed into a set of Deku pipes so I could play it! To this day I still don't believe I fully understand the concept of this ocarina."

"Do forgive me, children, but I must interrupt," the salesman suddenly said, catching their attention. "I have held up my end of the bargain, and I'm afraid it's time for you to hold up yours."

Edd, Marie, and Link's breath all caught in their throats. _The mask. We forgot to get the mask_! Edd thought frantically as he saw the salesman's face lose its happy smile.

"Don't tell me…" the salesman slowly said, his voice dangerously low. It was menacing enough that it caused everyone else in the room to stop what they were doing and look over at the salesman. "You did…get it back…didn't you?"

Their shifty eyes were all the answers he needed. Before either Edd or Marie could react, they both found themselves hanging in the air by the salesman's bare hands, an angry smile etched onto his features, a smile so deranged it distorted his facial muscle structure. He then began violently shaking the two of them, preventing them from acting in any way other than to cry out in surprise. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?" the salesman screeched.

"Whoa whoa, sir, there's no need…" Link tried to say.

"Hey, you crazy psycho, that's my sister!" Lee roared, starting forward.

"Let Double D go, ya freak!" Eddy yelled, actually putting his fear of Lee aside to leap to his friend's defense.

But before either of them could reach the deranged salesman, he threw Edd and Marie to the ground and started writhing and clutching his head. Eddy and Lee helped them back onto their feet and collectively glared at the convulsing salesman. "Are you freakin'_ insane_?_!_" Marie yelled angrily, balling up her fists.

"You fools! You fools!" the salesman screeched. "Don't you realize that something terrible will happen if you don't get that mask back?"

"Alright, I've had enough of this!" Edd declared furiously. "You need to explain to us_ right now_ what is with that mask of yours!"

With that, the salesman seemed to calm down, his expression easing to a more neutral tone. "Very well. All of you, listen closely."

The others took a wary step closer to him as he began. "The mask I am speaking of is called Majora's Mask. It is an ancient item containing the sealed spirit of the most powerful evil the world has ever known."

"What's so special about it?" Link repeated, his eyes widening.

"It contains a deity fuelled by savagery and bloodlust. His greatest pleasures are derived from the suffering and deaths of others whom he feels are beneath him, namely, every mortal being in existence. The concept of evil was introduced by him into the world of Hyrule at its beginning. Perhaps you remember the tale of how Hyrule was created, Link?"

"Yeah," Link answered. "There were three Golden Goddesses who descended upon the chaos that was this world in its beginning form. Din, the Goddess of Power, carved out the earth's shape with her bare hands. Nayru, the Goddess of Wisdom, poured the spirit of law into the world."

Eddy yawned loudly. "Jeez, this is boring."

Link ignored him. "And finally Farore, the Goddess of Courage, created all the living creatures to uphold Nayru's laws and look after Din's earth. Once they were done, they went back to the heavens and left a fraction of their collective power behind, which was the Triforce."

"Right. But what if I told you that the three Golden Ones weren't the only Gods of Hyrule?"

Link blinked in surprise. Noticing this, Edd and Marie immediately recognized this as significant. "What are you saying?" Link responded slowly.

"There are actually three other Gods of Hyrule besides the Golden Ones. Two of them, Onigami and Hylia, were known as the Guardian Gods, for it was their duty to protect the land from evil influences. The third was a deity of pure hatred and malice, who, in a gesture of spite towards his own siblings, introduced the concept of evil unto the world. On top of that, he breathed his own twisted version of life into what became the demon race, and lorded over them as their rightful God. His name…was Majora."

"Wait…are you telling me that the Skull Kid is currently wearing a mask said to be the prison of the God of Evil?_!_" Link interrupted, utter shock playing out across his face.

"Now, let me finish. Allowing his taint to seep into their new world was far more than the Golden Goddesses could stand. And so, Onigami and Hylia were sent to fight him. It was a terrible battle. Majora opened a fissure in the earth from which his wicked creations sprang. Majora's demons slaughtered, without mercy or provocation, anyone they happened to find. Finally, to save the Hylian people that remained, Hylia began gathering the survivors around her while Onigami faced Majora himself. As I understand, it was a fight so brutal that even the demons turned their eyes away in shock. Onigami was without a doubt a true warrior god, immensely strong and skilled, but Majora was fiendishly clever. He managed to disorient Onigami long enough to prepare a spell that would seal him in a mask forever, but before he could fully finish the incantation, Onigami fired an energy beam from his sword and struck Majora. After a great flash of light, only two masks remained of the dueling gods.

"The demons, realizing their master was incapacitated, were distracted just long enough for Hylia to separate the land she and the Hylians stood upon from the mainland, and it was placed in the sky, far from the roiling hellfire below. Meanwhile, the general of Majora's armies, a demon called Demise, took the mask and hid it somewhere so it could not be found by the vengeful Goddesses. Rallying the demons around him, Demise attempted to reach towards the heavens to seize the Triforce, but his hand was denied by the returning Hylia. Working together with the many other races of Hyrule, the Gorons, the Zoras, the Deku, even the Moblins and Lizalfos, they all overpowered Demise's army and sealed them within the earth again.

"Knowing that one day the demons would return, the Golden Ones transferred Onigami and Hylia's spirits into mortal vessels of flesh, souls who still walk the earth even to this day."

The salesman beamed at Link, and realization came to the young boy. "Wait…are you saying that…_I'm _the mortal reincarnation of Onigami?_!_"

"And the princess of Hyrule is the mortal reincarnation of Hylia. That is why you and she were destined to protect the land."

Link swallowed, taking in the information as best he could. Edd decided to speak up at this time. "So then, how did you get Majora's Mask?"

"I have my ways, young Eddward. And besides, someone else found it first. A tribe of Dark Interlopers found it and used it for their hexing rituals. This reawakened Majora's spirit, and he caused such catastrophe to the people that before the Goddesses sealed them away for their transgressions, the Dark Interlopers hid the mask again. After much searching, I was able to find it myself. I thought that kind of corrupted power was safe with me." The man sighed. "It seems I was wrong." He gazed imploringly at the gathered kids. "It exerts even more influence than I expected, drawing bitter or evil souls to its power. You _must_ get Majora's Mask away from that Skull Kid. Many innocent souls will suffer if this is not done, including that poor child's. Do you understand?"

Everyone nodded slowly, allowing the salesman to smile genially once more. "Now go. Time is not eternal, you know. Please make the most of it. I'll be waiting…"

"Right," Link said. "Come on, guys. Let's get out of here."

10


	12. Meeting With the Mayor

**Chapter Twelve: Meeting With the Mayor**

(First Day, 9:05 am, 68 hours, 55 minutes remain)

"I…I had no idea that mask was so horrible!" Tatl whimpered to herself as they exited the Clock Tower.

"How are you always getting' us into these messes, Sockhead?" Eddy grumbled at Edd.

"I'm afraid I don't know anymore, Eddy," Edd sighed. "Fate has a habit of making toys of us."

"I know that feeling," Link mused. "I got used to it after a while."

The young hero then turned around, causing everyone else to stop. "By the way, I don't think I caught your names," he said, gesturing at the other four Eds and Kankers.

"I'm Lee Kanker."

"I'm May Kanker!"

"I'm Eddy."

"I am Lothar, destroyer of evil!" Ed proclaimed loudly, flashing his signature grin as he pointed his finger dramatically in the air.

"He's Ed," Edd explained, shaking his head at Ed's antics.

"Wait, let me see if I understand you correctly," Tatl said, flitting in front of the Eds' faces. "All _three_ of you are named Ed?"

"Ed, Double D, and Eddy, to be exact," Edd corrected. "That's how we differentiate between ourselves."

"I see," Link stated, raising an eyebrow.

"What, you got a problem with it, Blondie?" Eddy snapped.

"No, just find it curious is all," Link responded, shaking his head. "And my name's Link, by the way."

"And I'm Tatl!" the fairy said above Link's head. "Now that I have your attention, I think we should try and figure out what my brother meant by the 'four who are there.'"

"What's Little Miss Firefly talkin' about?" Lee queried, jabbing her thumb in Tatl's direction.

"Hey! I am _not_ a firefly! I'm a fairy, and my name's Tatl! Remember that or else!"

"Or else what?" Lee sneered, crossing her arms in a pompous gesture.

"Or else from now on I'll refer to you as Carrot Top McBluetooth."

Eddy started snickering.

"WHAT?_!_ You wanna say that again to my _face_, Tinkerbell?_!_"

"I would if your breath didn't smell like a dead Keese!"

Eddy couldn't control himself any longer as he doubled over in laughter, holding his sides as if they might burst. "Hey, ladies! Let's not get into this!" Link stated firmly, stepping between the fuming Kanker sister and fairy. "We've got work to do, and fighting amongst ourselves isn't going to get us anywhere! Now shape up and make up, both of you!"

Both of them glared at Link, but he didn't waver for a second. If it weren't for the sword strapped to Link's back, Lee would have probably just treated him like any other kid from the cul-de-sac that annoyed her by smashing his face into the ground. However, she just snorted arrogantly and crossed her arms again. "Sure, whatever ya say, Peter Pan."

"Link."

"I like Peter Pan better."

"Well, my name's Link, so I'd much prefer it if you referred to me by that."

"From now on, I'm callin' you Peter Pan."

Edd could tell that Link was beginning to lose his patience, so he stepped in nervously. "Ah, ladies, I'm a-a-afraid Mr. L-Link is right. W-w-we really s-should f-f-focus on the m-m-matter at hand…"

"You there, young children!" a tough, authoritative voice called from the side.

"Huh?" Eddy grunted as he and everyone else looked up to see a soldier approaching them.

"Are you affiliated with the Skull Kid?" the man asked as he reached them.

Eddy cowered under the soldier's stern glance. "Uh, she is," he whimpered, pointing at Tatl before hiding behind Edd.

"Eddy!" Edd admonished.

"H-Hey!" Tatl yelled. "I _was_, but…"

"I thought I recognized that fairy!" the soldier interrupted, and immediately the group of kids found themselves surrounded by five other guards, all of whom were glaring sternly at them.

"You have a lot to answer for, fairy!" the lead soldier stated. "Your friend Skull Kid has been responsible for a lot of crimes this past month, ranging from petty theft and robbery to attempted murder."

"Attempted _what_?_!_" Tatl and the kids simultaneously gasped.

"The mayor wishes to speak to you, and it would be _very_ wise for you to come with us."

"Oh boy! We're gonna see the mayor, guys!" Ed shouted happily. "I hope he has lotsa chickens!"

"Ed, shut up before you get us in even more trouble!" Eddy snarled, smacking Ed upside the head.

XXXXXX

Link, Tatl, the Eds, and the Kankers soon found themselves sulking in a corner of the mayor's office while a heated exchange played out in front of them. Apparently, there had been a meeting called by the mayor between the Captain of the City Guard, whose name Edd had caught was Viscen, and Mutoh, the boss of the Carpenters who happened to be the same man Edd had seen cursing the moon yesterday…or three days from now…_Ugh, time has become so skewed I can't tell which is today and which is tomorrow or yesterday anymore_, Edd mused as he rubbed his eyes.

Apparently it had started out as a discussion about what the townspeople should do in the wake of the rumors about the moon, but had quickly degenerated into yelling and name-calling, coming mostly from Mutoh's side of the room. Each one had brought their key lackey with them, and said lackeys were busy yelling streams of curses at each other. The air was so tense that if a knife were to try and cut it, it would only bounce off. "Most of the townsfolk have taken refuge without waiting for the mayor's orders!" Viscen tried to speak over the raucous din. "The only ones left are the public servants and committee members! Mr. Mayor and Carnival Committee members, I implore you to order the rest of the civilians to evacuate at once!"

The mayor, a short old man with a strange, purple hair-do and a thin handle-bar mustache sitting at a table at the rear of the room, scratched his head in thought, unsure of what to do. "Ah…hmm…well…"

"You cowards!" Mutoh retorted, crossing his arms and scowling. "Do you actually believe the moon will fall? The confused townsfolk simply caused a panic by believing this ridiculous, groundless theory. The soldiers couldn't prevent the panic, but outside the town walls is where the_ real_ danger is! You want answers? The answer is that the carnival should _not_ be cancelled!" Mutoh inclined his head towards the mayor. "Isn't that right, Mr. Mayor?"

"Ahh... hmm... well..."

"Political turmoil!" Ed proclaimed loudly.

"Ed, please," Edd ushered his friend. "Keep your voice down. This doesn't concern us."

"It's boring as heck, is what it is," Eddy grumbled.

"Shut yer face, Eddy, I'm tryin' to listen!" Marie hissed in his ear.

Eddy huffed and sulked some more.

Viscen just stared at Mutoh, his mouth agape. "Are you _serious_, Mutoh?_!_ It seems that giant chuck of rock above us hasn't caught your eye! At this time every year, we are _overrun_ by tourists! So why is the town so empty? Clearly, it's your job to ensure the carnival's operation, but that's if people are _here_ for it! Don't drag the merchants and soldiers into this!"

"Mmm... Hmm..."

"Feh! If the soldiers wish to run, then _run_, Viscen! We councilmen will stick to tradition. This carnival will be a success, just like it has been every other year! I've never heard of a defense unit abandoning its town!"

Mutoh turned his head once more towards the debilitating mayor. "Madame Aroma would surely say the same thing, wouldn't she, Mayor Dotour?"

Mayor Dotour suddenly slapped his hands on the table, frowning at his bickering associates. "Let's not bring my wife into this, gentlemen."

Lee glanced over at May from where she was sitting. "So May, which one do ya reckon'll throw the first punch? Baldilocks or the Tin Can?"

"But Lee, I don't have any money!" May responded.

Lee sighed and slumped back against the wall. "Why do ya always ruin my fun, May?"

"All must take refuge!" Viscen implored.

"On with the carnival!" Mutoh shouted, shaking his fist dramatically.

_The way these two parties are arguing reminds me of the way politics is divided back home, come to think of it_, Edd thought to himself, resting his head in his hand.

"Is there even any point to your lives?" Eddy interrupted.

"Enough!" Dotour suddenly yelled, slamming his hands against the table more forcefully than he had last time.

The argument immediately subsided. "This pointless bickering is getting us nowhere," Dotour said, rubbing his temples. "I'm calling a one hour recess."

"But Mr. Mayor!" Viscen voiced his objection.

"I have other matters I need to attend to at the moment, Captain Viscen. You and Mutoh are to wait outside or get some lunch or something. We'll resume in an hour."

"…Yessir."

Viscen slumped his shoulders in defeat as he and his companion left the room. Mutoh glanced smugly at the kids before leaving with his apprentice, slamming the door shut behind him. The mayor sighed with relief before focusing his attention on the kids and fairy. "Now that that's over, I think you owe us an explanation."

"We don't owe ya nothin'," Eddy responded tersely, sticking his tongue out at Dotour.

"Yeah, Little Miss Firefly here's the one who was hangin' around with Skelebrat before we got here," Lee added, pointing at Tatl.

"Yeah, well, Carrot Top McBluetooth here forgot to mention that I've been with these three for the past few days!" Tatl responded, glaring daggers at Lee as she pointed at Link, Edd, and Marie. "And it just so happens we've been trying to _stop_ the Skull Kid! And besides, the whole thing isn't his fault in the first place!"

"Not his fault?" Dotour repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Care to explain, then, how he's been sighted at the scene of all his crimes?"

"Well it isn't his fault, not in the way you think," Tatl responded.

"Elaborate," Dotour said, leaning forward and folding his hands under his chin.

"Well…uh…I don't think you'd believe me if I told you."

"I take it you know the Skull Kid."

"We actually only met him recently," Edd spoke up. "He robbed us, and we followed him here. After that…"

Link, Edd, and Marie all threw nervous glances at each other. "We lost him," Edd finished.

"That may be true for you kids, but this fairy here has been sighted with the Skull Kid on numerous occasions."

"It wasn't her," Link immediately said, standing up and coming to Tatl's defense.

"And why should I believe—"

"Look sir, we got more important things to worry about other than stuff the Skull Kid's done in the past," Marie said, getting up and striding over to the mayor's desk and leaning against it with one arm.

"What do you mean?"

Edd walked over to the mayor's desk, placed his hands on its surface, and looked Dotour right in the eye. "First of all, the moon is indeed falling…and we believe the Skull Kid is responsible for this."

The Mayor froze, wide-eyed at first. After a moment, he broke into an old man's chuckle, coughing between laughs.

"Now I've heard my share of crazy theories, but what makes you think that kid is capable of that?"

"It's the mask he's wearing," Link explained. "By wearing it, he's gained a lot of dangerous power. But the mask is possessed by the imprisoned spirit of an evil god, and we believe it's influencing his mind to commit these malicious acts."

"We're not sure exactly how he's doing this, but the rumors are true," Edd interjected. "In exactly three days' time, the moon will fall directly over the Clock Tower and destroy the town."

Dotour's eyes narrowed. "So you are confirming this as fact."

"That's right," Marie answered.

The other Kankers and Eds continued to watch, still bored out of their minds. "So Viscen was right, then…" Dotour whispered almost to himself.

"We only have one clue on how to stop this," Tatl explained. "We must bring 'the four who are there'."

The mayor frowned. "You must be misinformed. That quote comes from an old legend our town celebrates. The _four _refer to four guardians who reside in the Swamp, Mountains, Ocean, and Canyon. You're suggesting we leave it up to the gods themselves to save our town?"

"Gods?" Ed asked. "Like the kind they wrap mummies in?"

Edd sighed in exasperation. "No, Ed, that's _gauze_."

"Oh."

"However, if it's the only clue you have to go on, you might as well go with it," Dotour said. "Unfortunately, our town is in a big mess. The carnival committee members are rioting, several people are missing, including my son... I can't send my guardsmen to investigate the other areas, due to our own problems, not to mention the peace treaty we issued with the other societies there..."

Dotour rubbed his temples. "What am I to do?"

Link stepped forward. "We'll investigate this, Mr. Mayor."

"Whoa, what's with this 'we' business?" Eddy interrupted. "Why should we be involved?"

"I can't order you all to do this by law," Dotour explained solemnly. "But as a concerned citizen, I do implore you to go to the four corners of this land and see if there's anything you can do for us."

"We got a score to settle with him anyways," Marie grinned, glancing over at Edd.

Tatl flew by the hero's side in agreement as he turned to look at his fellows. "Well, who's up for it?" he invited.

"I…suppose I couldn't forgive myself if I left things unresolved," Edd stated moving to Link's side. "Besides, I can't just let the world end."

"Wherever he's goin', I'm goin' too!" Marie agreed, grinning as she put her arm around Edd's shoulder, who started blushing deeply.

"Count me in! Adventure!" Ed proclaimed, hands held in the air.

"If Marie and Big Ed are goin', I'll go too!" May said, standing next to Ed, who backed away slightly.

"No way am I lettin' my sisters leave me outta all the fun," Lee smirked, taking a place at Link's other side.

Finally, the whole group looked expectantly at Eddy, who glanced at everyone irritably. "What?"

"You comin' or not?" Lee queried.

"Heck no!" Eddy snorted. "I ain't got nothin' to do with this! Besides, look at all the poor saps in this town! I bet I could make myself richer than Bill Gates by the time you got back!"

"Like it or not, Eddy, I'm afraid you really don't have much of a choice in the matter," Edd responded with a sly smile.

"Oh yeah? Why's that, Sockhead?"

Edd glanced over at Lee. "Lee, if you will?"

Catching Edd's drift, Lee immediately started chuckling menacingly as she approached Eddy, her arms outstretched as she made kissing expressions with her lips. Eddy's eyes went as wide as saucers before he started running. "No! Noooo! Double D, you traitor!" he shrieked as Lee pursued him around the room until he found himself backed into a corner with no way to escape.

Scared out of his wits, he started hyperventilating as Lee closed in on him, smirking fiendishly. "_Alright, alright, I'll go, I'll go! Just call her off_!"

"Sorry, doesn't work that way, dreamboat!" Lee grinned as she descended on Eddy.

"_Noooooooooooooo_!"

Ed and Edd looked away at the sounds of sloppy kisses and Eddy's screams, while Marie and May laughed at Eddy's expense. Link, Tatl, and Dotour just stood there, not really sure what was going on as Eddy was subjected to his long-overdue Kanker torture.

7


	13. Readying For Adventure

**Chapter Thirteen: Readying For Adventure**

"I can't believe you would _do_ that to me, Double D!" Eddy shouted as they exited the mayor's residence, feverishly wiping the lipstick off his face.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Eddy," Edd responded. "Surely you'd understand better than anyone else."

"You sic'd a freakin'_ Kanker _on me!"

"You know, you guys have some weird problems you _really_ need sorted out," Link commented, glancing sideways at Eddy.

"Tell me about it," Edd responded.

"Well, we have another problem that needs sorting out _now_," Tatl interjected.

"What's that?" May asked.

"The guards in this town are really strict about who leaves the town. If you don't have a weapon, they won't even let you step one foot outside the town walls."

Lee folded her arms. "Any idea how we get these weapons, exactly?"

"Well, first there's the Swordsman's Training School in West Clock Town, but the guy's a little weird, so tread with caution there. There's a bomb shop next to the West gate, and a general store next to it that sells Deku sticks and Deku nuts."

"Bombs?" Eddy repeated, his eyes lighting up.

"What's so special about Deku sticks and nuts?" Marie queried.

She and her sisters suddenly started snickering amongst themselves. "Besides the_ obvious_, of course?" Lee snorted, causing the sisters to burst into laughter.

Link blinked in confusion, while Edd blushed at the obvious sexual innuendo he just heard. The joke having gone over her head, or just choosing to ignore it, Tatl explained, "Deku nuts emit a bright flash of light when you throw them against the ground."

"Well that doesn't sound very helpful," Eddy complained.

"Throw it right in an enemy's face and you'll blind and disorient them for a few moments. As for Deku sticks, they're notoriously hard."

The Kankers snickered again. "Meaning you can really beat something with one," Tatl continued through clenched teeth.

The three sisters couldn't hold it in anymore. The three of them started rolling around on the ground, cackling hysterically at the continuous stream of innuendos. "What the heck is so funny?_!_" Tatl huffed impatiently.

"Sticks and nuts!" May snorted.

"Hey, Eddy!" Lee wheezed between laughs. "How hard's your stick?"

Eddy's face went beet-red. Finally understanding the naughty undertones of this rather pointless conversation, Link cleared his throat and said, "Ah, guys, you should probably head out and get yourselves ready. Every adventurer needs a good weapon. Go wherever you need to go, and meet me and Tatl back at the Southern gate when you're ready, okay?"

"C'mon, Lumpy! Bomb shop!" Eddy yelled excitedly, grabbing Ed by the collar.

"You'll need money for those, genius!" Tatl called out.

"Hah! Not to worry, I got my stash…here…somewhere…" Eddy fingered his pockets in search of his rupees. However, his pockets were empty. He hadn't noticed, but all his money had flown out of his pockets during the time jump and had been sent back to whence it came.

Eddy froze at the realization, before turning desperately towards Edd. "Double D! I need some cash!"

Edd merely shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't have any."

Eddy looked at Ed. "Lumpy! Help me out!"

Ed reached into his coat pocket and dug around for a moment before pulling out a block of _very_ moldy cheese and holding it towards Eddy. "Here ya go, Eddy!" he offered with a wide grin.

"Ew! Get that away from me, you idiot!" Eddy yelled, releasing Ed in his revulsion.

Link and Tatl just stared at Ed as though he had sprouted an extra head. The oafish preteen then put his smelly keepsake back in his jacket. Suddenly something clicked in Lee's head. "Hey flathead! Remember where ya got that silver jewel?"

"Silver jewel? Where?" Eddy demanded.

"On the roof above that building with the freaky-lookin' squid."

Link immediately looked up, glancing towards the building in question, though the view was blocked by the roof of the Milk Bar. "Wait here, guys," he advised before taking off towards the Milk Bar roof.

Everyone blinked at his retreating figure in surprise. Edd turned to his companions and asked, "So, guys…um, where do you plan on going to arm yourselves?"

"Bomb shop!" Eddy stated. "But Lumpy here'll hafta settle for a Dean Koontz stick and some nuts."

"_Deku_ stick, Eddy," Edd corrected.

"Well, I'm plannin' on goin' to that Swordsman's School!" Marie said.

"Same here," Lee added. "It ain't every day ya get to whack someone with yer trusty sword!"

"I'm goin' too!" May finished. "I wanna swing a real sword!"

Marie flashed a trademark Kanker grin at Edd. "What about you, sweetie?"

Realizing she was talking to him, Edd couldn't prevent himself from stuttering, his eyes darting from side-to-side as he twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Uh…w-w-well, I-I don't think I-I-I could t-t-trust myself w-w-with e-explosives…and a s-stick w-would be r-r-rather deg-g-grading…I s-s-suppose I could a-accompany you t-to the S-s-swordsman's School."

Marie's smile widened. "Well, c'mon! Why're we wastin' time?" she said excitedly, grabbing him by his arm and began dragging him off with her sisters.

Edd looked imploringly at Ed and Eddy. Ed was off in la-la land, and Eddy just crossed his arms and turned his nose up, and Edd knew this was payback. Sighing in resignation, Edd allowed himself to be dragged off by the giggling Kanker sisters, preparing himself for the worst.

The Kankers dragged their prisoner throughout town until they reached the shopping district, chuckling in excitement. _At least they're excited about something other than torturing us_, Edd thought.

Lee was at the head, looking around for something that might look like a dojo. Finally she saw a door with a pair of crossed swords above it next to the Postman's Office, and she turned to her sisters. "Over here!" she pointed. "C'mon, girls!"

Lee waltzed over and opened the door, holding it open for her sisters and Edd, who was still being dragged along by Marie's firm grip. Once inside, the four of them took in their surroundings. It was a well-lit, spartan room. At the left corner of the room was a large gong. Eight holes were arranged in a circle at the center of the room. At the rear of the room was a long table that led to a small corner in the back. Sitting cross-legged on the table in front of the entrance to that corner was a most peculiar fellow. He was a short, skinny man wearing an open-vested shirt that exposed his obscenely-hairy chest. He had a full head of hair that not only covered his eyes, but reached all the way down to the floor. His bushy mustache bristled at the Kankers' intrusion. "Greetings, young ones," he stated gruffly. "Have you come to learn the ways of the sword?"

Edd almost didn't notice Marie let go of him, but stepped forward and replied timidly, "Um…something to that effect, yes."

"The way of the sword is a hard one!" the man answered firmly. "It is not for the faint of heart! I can already see you are faint of heart, boy!"

Edd shrank back under the swordsmaster's harsh glare. The man then turned his attention towards the three Kankers. "As for you three, the rigors of swordsmanship are heavy, much heavier than I believe capable for such soft dames like you!"

"_Excuse me_?" Lee snarled, insulted.

"Oh, you did _not_ just go there, punk!" Marie snapped. "Grow a set and let us show ya what we're made of!"

The swordsmaster stared at Marie for a moment, and then broke out into a low chuckle. "Heh. If you think you can withstand it, very well. I will test your mettle, starting with you, Blue-Hair."

The man stood up and went to the back for a moment, and then came back with four short swords in hand. He tossed one at Marie, who caught it without removing her eyes from the sexist fellow, and put the rest beside him as he sat back down. "Now then," the old man said. "I will start you out with the basics. The rest of you, stand back!"

Edd and the other Kankers edged back to give Marie some space. "Now, stand at the center of that circle of holes," the swordsmaster ordered.

Marie did so. "First, I want to see you do a horizontal slash."

Suddenly, a log popped out of the hole directly in front of Marie, startling everybody except the swordsmaster. "Begin!"

Marie narrowed her eyes at the hunk of woods and twirled her sword in her hands for a moment before swinging horizontally at it, cutting a deep gash in the wood. With a grunt, she dislodged her blade from the log. "Well, it seems you possess some strength in your arms," the swordsmaster commended. "But strength means nothing without finesse! Now, I want you to perform a vertical downstroke. Begin!"

Marie flashed a small grin in Edd's direction before complying, swinging downward into the wood and splitting it down the middle. The two halves clattered to the floor as Marie brushed her hair aside. Lee and May cheered her on from the sidelines, clapping and whooping, "Yeah! Atta girl, Marie!"

Edd blinked in surprise and nervously assessed his situation. _My word, she _does_ possess quite a bit of strength_, Edd thought. _If I didn't know better, I'd wager she was trying to…impress me._

The more Edd thought about it, the more awkward he felt as he watched the swordsmaster give Marie another order, which she completed promptly. _Oh dear…Just watching her makes me feel…strange. It's almost like I used to feel around Na…wait…that can't be possible. What a silly concept! Although, her movements are so quick and fluid…that determination on her face…it's almost…intoxicating…_

Edd mentally slapped himself before his thoughts could stray further. _What am I saying?_! _That's Marie Kanker! My torturer! My foil! My…_

Suddenly his thoughts drifted to that night in the astronomer's house, and Marie's words to him. _Ya know, that's why I chase you a lot. If I ever found a decent guy who I knew would take care of me, I'd grab on and never let go._

She had stuck with him the whole three days they had been there. That whole time, Edd had seen a side of her he was sure not many others had seen. She had showed that she did indeed care about Edd's welfare. Then it suddenly dawned on Edd. She thought of him as more than just a toy, but as a human being whose romantic feelings she truly wanted to be reciprocated.

…_My companion?_

Edd was starting to feel conflicted. Never before had he felt like this, about anyone, and _especially_ about Marie Kanker. She'd been his worst fear for years, a person to cower before and flee at the very sight of. She had been the reason why he was sometimes afraid to go outside on weekends, or even go to school. It had been easy to think of her as a monster. But now, it was obvious this was not the case. He had seen the human side of the nefarious Kanker sisters, Marie's devotion to him as well as her sisters' devotion to her. Edd started rubbing his forehead in thought. _Oh goodness, what would Ed and Eddy say if I told them I had…dare I say it…a _crush_ on a Kanker?_

Edd was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he didn't even notice that Marie had finished with the instructor, who admitted he was quite impressed with her handiwork, saying she was a natural as he declared her worthy of the ways of the sword. It wasn't until Marie slapped him on the back that he was able to snap out of his thoughts. "Oh!" he uttered.

"I know ya can't take your eyes off me," she smirked devilishly. "But carpet-hair says it's your turn now."

Edd blinked before noticing that Marie had a sword sheathed and strapped to her side through her pink belt and was holding another sword out to him. Edd slowly took the handle of the sword and removed it from a smirking Marie's hands. "Go get 'em, tiger," she purred in his ear before giving him a quick peck on the cheek and joining her sisters.

Edd's cheeks blazed a deep scarlet before he felt the weight of the sword in his hands. _Oh dear, it's rather heavy_, Edd thought, struggling to lift the weapon. "Come, come!" the instructor barked. "We don't have all day!"

_If only you knew, _Edd mused sourly to himself as he awkwardly lifted the sword.

Another log sprouted up from where the first had come. _Should I even bother contemplating how that's even possible? _Edd thought.

"You shall complete the same exercises your girlfriend underwent!" the swordsmaster proclaimed.

"My what?" Edd stated. "I…uh…"

_Oh, confound it all!_

Taking a deep breath, Edd let loose and swung as hard as he could at the log in front of him. The collision made a pathetic little scratch in the side of the log, and the recoil made Edd drop his sword with a cry.

"Kaaahh!" the instructor cried, slapping his hands frustratingly on his knees. "Wrong! Wrong! All wrong!"

Edd rubbed his tingling hands and looked wide-eyed at the swordsmaster. "You do not possess a warrior's strength!" the instructor stated. "You are unfit to wield a sword!"

"Sir, I've never even picked up a sword in my life! Up until now, I've never even had a _reason_ to! But now I'm about to embark on a journey that cannot be avoided that could very likely kill me, and I don't think I can do anything without a weapon! If I can't wield a sword, then what else _can_ I use?_!_"

The swordsmaster stroked his chin in thought. "Hmm. You do not possess the strength of a warrior, but perhaps the heart."

The man stood up. "I believe I can help you still, young black-hatted one."

He walked into the back, miraculously not tripping over his abnormally long hair in the process. After a moment, he came back out, a piece of paper in his hand. Striding over to Edd, he held out the paper towards him. "Take this to the Curiosity Shop. Last door down the street in the shopping district. Tell him the swordsmaster sent you for the spirit's light."

Edd took the paper and glanced at it._ Hmm. It's in the strange calligraphy I keep seeing around here. It must be their counterpart to English letters. I can't read it, unfortunately. I should probably ask Link to teach me to._

"Thank you, sir," Edd thanked, nodding his head in gratitude.

Edd turned around and saw the Kankers all staring at him with amused expressions. "I-I guess I'll b-b-be meeting you l-ladies later, then," he stuttered before quickly walking out the door.

Marie glanced over at the instructor. "What'd ya send him off for?"

"Sometimes, where the sword fails, a more…_spiritual _approach is required," the man replied cryptically.

XXXXXX

Edd strolled down the street, glancing once towards the not-so-distant moon as he searched for the Curiosity Shop. Finally coming upon the last door on the street, Edd turned the knob and went inside. The place was dimly lit and extremely cluttered. Boxes were stacked on both sides of the room and left only a narrow passageway to the front desk, where a man with short, dark-red hair and a pair of sunglasses was scratching his back. _Quite an eccentric fellow, _Edd observed as he walked up to the front desk.

The Curiosity Shop owner suddenly noticed Edd's presence and turned around. "Ah! Hi there! Welcome to the Curiosity Shop. I sell all kinds of exotic things, I do."

"Um…I was sent by the instructor at the Swordsman's School. He told me to bring back the 'spirit's light'."

The man inclined his head in surprise. "Did he now?" he queried rhetorically. "Hmm…I always wondered why that man told me to hold onto it and not sell it. Hold on a sec, I'll get it."

The owner turned around and walked by a large suit of golden armor leaning on a huge sword and opened a box. Rustling around for a moment, the man suddenly said, "Aha! There you are, my pretty."

He gingerly pulled something out of the box and held it up for Edd to see.

It was a lantern. It was cast in pitch-black iron, and a mysterious purple light glowed from within. A skull design was emblazoned on the top beneath the handle. Violet wisps of energy twirled around it. Something deep down told Edd this was no ordinary lantern. "This, my young friend, is a Poe's Lantern," the man explained.

"Poe's Lantern?" Edd repeated. "Like Edgar Allen Poe?"

"No. Poes are spirits formed by concentrated hatred towards the living. But this lantern in particular is special, as it once belonged to a Big Poe. I'm not exactly sure what special abilities it has, but the old man thinks it's useful, so that must count for something."

He handed the lantern over to Edd. Expecting it to be heavy, Edd was surprised by the fact that it was anything but. Upon holding it, Edd could feel…well, he didn't really know how to explain it. He felt a tingling sensation crawl up his arms. His body seemed to bristle with strange, otherworldly energy. At his touch, the Poe's Lantern seemed to glow even more brightly, as if excited at the prospect of having a new owner.

_Strange…If I survive this whole adventure, I must remind myself to study this…Poe's Lantern in more detail, _Edd thought.

The young sock-headed preteen looked up at the Curiosity Shop owner. "Um, thank you kindly, sir. Good day."

"Tell the old man I said hi!" the owner replied, waving Edd off.

Edd nodded and glanced once more at his new prize before exiting the store.

XXXXXX

Eddy suddenly saw Link running up to him, holding a silver rupee in his hand. "Here you go," he said as he reached them, not even winded.

Not even muttering a word of thanks, Eddy greedily snatched it out of Link's hands and ran off to the bomb shop with Ed in tow, laughing all the while. "You're welcome," Link muttered in annoyance.

The two Eds ran all the way to West Clock Town towards the door with a picture of a bomb on the side and practically threw themselves through it, startling the store owner, a man with pale, wrinkly skin and several strange tattoos wearing a black vest. Eddy ran over to the item shelf with a manic grin on his face. "I'm here for some bombs!" Eddy exclaimed, slamming his silver rupee down on the table.

Snapping out of his surprise at the kid's entrance, the owner replied, "Do you have a bomb bag to carry them in?"

Eddy's smile left his face. "Bomb bag?" he repeated.

"Ah, it seems you don't. Not to worry, due to the carnival, I'm holding a special sale on regular-size bomb bags. Fifty rupees for one bag, and it comes with thirty bombs free of charge. Bear in mind that it can only hold up to thirty."

Eddy started grinning again. "I'll take one!"

The man warily accepted Eddy's silver rupee and handed him back a purple one before striding into the back to retrieve a bomb bag. After a moment he came back, holding a small leather bag in his hand. Eddy furrowed his brow. "What's that?"

"It's a bomb bag."

"You said it'd hold thirty bombs! That looks like it could barely fit one!"

"Hammerspace enchantments are a wonderful thing," the owner replied.

"Hammerspace! The final frontier of the Hammerhead people from Planet Kyzacech!" Ed declared, pointing his finger dramatically in the air.

"As exciting as that sounds, Hammerspace enchantments are nothing more than spells that make the inside of a container larger than the outside," the man said with a raised eyebrow. "Go ahead and feel inside."

The man held the bomb bag out for Eddy, who took it out of his hands and shoved his hand inside. Strangely enough, he could feel numerous round objects brushing against his fingertips. It almost felt as though he was rummaging through a burlap sack instead of a handbag. "If you want to use a bomb, all you have to do is take one out," the bomb owner instructed. "The fuses light automatically when exposed to the outside elements. But do not, I repeat, _do not_ take one out inside a building. Once lit, they are guaranteed to explode."

Eddy quickly removed his hand from inside the bomb bag in fright. "Right…um, thanks," he said, looping the bag strap around his belt. "C'mon, Monobrow, let's go."

Eddy and Ed proceeded out of the bomb shop and into the general store, where a young man was busy scratching his back like he had a rash. Noticing the two kids approach, the man stopped scratching and greeted them. "Welcome! What're ya buying?"

Eddy held out his purple rupee. "I'll take a Deku stick and as many nuts this'll buy."

The man took the rupee, turned around, and grabbed a long, hard Deku stick and a small bag filled with Deku nuts off the shelf and handed it to Eddy. "Here ya go, sir!"

Eddy then handed the Deku items to Ed. "Knock yerself out, big guy."

"_I will smite down all evil where I find it_!" Ed yelled as he waved his stick around, inadvertently bashing Eddy over the head with his new weapon, knocking him to the floor.

The store owner winced.

"Urgh…I said knock _yourself_ out, not _me_!" Eddy groaned as he picked himself up off the floor, massaging his head as he felt an angry red welt grow there.

"Sorry, Eddy."

"C'mon, let's go meet up with Robin Hood 'fore you put me in a coma."

Eddy walked out the door, rubbing his sore head as Ed faithfully followed behind. As he walked out, he happened to notice Edd coming out of the door directly to his right, carrying a funny-looking lantern in his hand. "Hey, Sockhead!" he called, startling Edd. "What's that ya got there?"

"Oh!" Edd yelped, turning around. "Eddy! Um…this is a Poe's Lantern. It once belonged to a spirit of some kind."

"Uh huh. What's it do?"

"I…don't know, actually," Edd muttered, slightly embarrassed.

"Well, you boys are lookin' pretty swell!" Lee's voice drawled off to the side.

The Eds turned to see the Kankers standing in a group, each with a short sword strapped to their side. "So you boys all ready?" Lee questioned with her trademark smirk.

"Ready for adventure!" Ed informed loudly, brandishing his Deku stick.

"I'm packin'," Eddy added, patting his bomb bag smugly.

"I suppose," Edd said uncertainly, staring at his lantern.

"_That's_ what the old guy sent ya for?" Marie exclaimed, looking at the Poe's Lantern. "A _lantern_?"

"It's supposed to be a special lantern," Edd responded timidly. "I was told that, anyway."

"Hey, at least you can scare away the boogeyman now!" Eddy laughed.

Edd simply glanced somewhat dejectedly at the lantern and frowned as he saw the firelight still glowing inside. "I suppose I should douse the flame until we need it," Edd mused before blowing into the lantern to put out the light.

A spectacular blaze of purple flames suddenly sprang forth from the confines of the lantern with a fierce roar, great tongues of flame issuing forth at Edd's breath to consume all in its path. Shocked by such unbridled power, Edd stopped blowing and fell backward onto the ground, landing on his behind. Bereft of their power source, the violet flames dissipated, leaving a nasty scorch mark on the wall next to the Curiosity Shop. No one noticed the banker across the street had dived out of sight and was cowering underneath his desk. Edd stared in awe at the lantern clutched in his hand, gazing at it with an odd sort of reverence. Everyone else's eyes were as wide as saucers as they stared dumbly at where the flames had once been. "M…My word," Edd whispered. "It's still cool to the touch…"

"OH MY GOSH THAT WAS SO COOL DO IT AGAIN DO IT AGAIN!" May squealed.

"Double D…" Eddy breathed. "That…was _freakin' awesome_!"

"Now _that's_ what I call packin' heat!" Marie exclaimed.

"Magic lantern!" Ed proclaimed, flinging his arms about as he grinned from ear to ear.

"That stupid mask'll burn to a crisp in no time!" Lee assured.

Edd finally gathered his bearings and got to his feet. Allowing a small smile to crease his face, he said, "Well, ladies and gentlemen. Let's get that adventure started, shall we?"

10


	14. Welcome To Termina

**Chapter Fourteen: Welcome To Termina**

Armed and ready, the Eds and Kankers met Link and Tatl back at the south gate. Link brightened a little, happy to be done with waiting. "Everybody ready?" he asked.

"We are_ ready_, baby!" Eddy answered with a wild grin, gesturing to his bomb bag.

"Bombs," Link stated with a frown. "Great. Just don't light one near us, okay?"

"Don't worry, I ain't gonna mess up yer pretty little face, Robin Hood."

"_Link_," Link responded with slightly forced calm, gritting his teeth.

"Whatever," Eddy muttered, waving his hand dismissively. "So where're we headed?"

"There are four territories in each of the cardinal directions," Tatl replied. "The Woodfall Swamps are south through this gate, the Snowhead Mountains are up towards the north, the ocean is west of here, and Ikana Canyon is towards the east. We should head to the swamp first."

"The swamp?" Lee questioned, scrunching up her nose. "Why don't we hit the ocean first? I could use a good tan."

"Because the swamp just so happens to be the only place we can access at the moment," Tatl answered, her voice laced with venom. "The mountains are currently blocked off by a solid wall of ice, there's a wall blocking the way to the ocean, and there's a huge cliff you have to get up before we can get to Ikana Canyon. You wanna try and get past those before you're ready, be my guest."

"So Woodfall Swamp it is, then?" Edd questioned.

Tatl nodded. "Well, let's get going then," Edd said.

The group proceeded towards the south gate, where a guard was stationed. Upon their approach, the guard stiffened. "Halt! Do you have some business in the swamp?"

"Obviously," Eddy retorted.

"It's dangerous outside the town walls, so I can't allow children to…"

That's when he noticed that each of the kids was armed in some way. He straightened up. "Oh…I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to treat you all like children. The swamp of Woodfall lies to the south through this gate. Be careful."

Nodding their heads in thanks, the group of intrepid young heroes finally took their first steps outside the city and entered Termina Field. A grassy plain stretched out in front of them, but towards the east it thinned to bare gravel, while towards the west it gave way to sandy beaches and large, colorful shells. "Whoa," Eddy muttered.

"What?" Tatl asked. "Never been outdoors in your life?"

"No, it's just…it's weird! There's a swamp, snowy mountains, an ocean, and a desert canyon so close together! It's not natural!"

Edd scratched his chin as he took in the scene. "Eddy has a point. The close proximity of these four different climates is rather strange."

"Strange or not, we have a swamp to get to," Link reminded.

"Ah, right," Edd agreed.

"Follow me," Tatl ordered, flitting to the head of the group and heading towards the south.

The others fell into line behind her, traversing the field. As they were passing by a group of shrubs, a sudden rustle caught their attention, making them all stop. "What was that?" Eddy queried nervously, looking around as he fingered around for a bomb.

Link's eyes immediately fell on the shrubs, and he drew his sword. Seeing this, the Kankers unsheathed their blades as well and glared at the shaking shrubbery. Ed boldly stepped forward and pointed his Deku stick at the bushes. "Show yourself, foul beast!" Ed yelled.

"Ed, keep it down, you idiot!" Eddy yelled even louder than Ed.

Suddenly the shrubs parted as a strange shape lurched out of it. It was essentially an amorphous blob that looked as though it were made of green Jell-O. A very disturbing smile was plastered on its surface, as well as a pair of eyestalks with sleepy-looking eyes that regarded the group with half-interest. The kids save for Link and Tatl all recoiled in disgust.

"What nuclear waste dump did _you _crawl out of?" Marie asked the creature, which didn't respond.

"What the heck is that thing?_!_" Eddy cried, backing up.

Tatl, however, seems undeterred by the odd beast in front of them. "It's a Green Chuchu," she explained. "It's nothing to be afraid of."

To demonstrate, Tatl flew by the Chuchu's mouth. "They often have useful items lodged in their stomachs. They usually ignore whatever's around them…"

"Prepare to be smited, glob of doom!" Ed yelled, unceremoniously whacking it in the face with his stick. This did absolutely nothing to harm it, but it did provoke the beast, which snapped at Ed.

"…Except when you beat them over the head," Tatl finished with a sigh.

"My stick's not working, guys!" Ed yelled, trying to beat it back.

"Get outta the way, Lumpy!" Eddy ordered, his hands grabbing hold of a bomb.

"No wait!" Link said. "Don't waste your ammo."

"Huh? Why?"

"I'll save you, Ed!" May cried, leaping to Ed's defense.

"That's why."

Shouting a dramatic battle cry, May brought her sword down on the Green Chuchu, slicing it clean in half down the middle. The creature's remains melted into a watery substance that drained into the soil below it. All that remained was a small green bottle, which Link picked up as Ed waved his stick in the air. "The evil has been vanquished!"

"Yeah, no thanks to you, meathead," Marie chided, sheathing her weapon.

Eddy made a face. "What is that?" he asked.

"It's a magic jar," Link answered, turning over the bottle in his hands. "They can be found all over the place, and they replenish your magic stores. But once they're exposed, they'll decompose in a matter of minutes."

The green-hatted boy promptly drank the contents of the jar, which disintegrated in his hand as he grimaced at the bitter taste.

"Magic stores?" Eddy repeated, his eyebrows rising in interest. "You mean they _sell _magic?"

"I think he's referring to our overall magical abilities," Edd replied.

"Say what?"

Edd slapped his forehead. _Ah, I seem to have neglected to tell the others that Link, Marie, and I can use magic now._

"Ah, Eddy, it seems I owe you an explanation," Edd started, scratching the back of his head. "Ed, May, Lee, you should probably listen as well."

"Eh?" Lee said, looking up at Edd.

Ed focused intently on Edd, which May did as well.

"When Marie and I first got here, we helped Link rescue a fairy from misfortune, and…"

"What'd ya do?" Eddy interrupted. "Save her from a fly-swatter?"

Tatl overheard Eddy's remark and glared at him. "Oh, hardy-har-har. Not all fairies look like me, stupid."

Eddy returned Tatl's glare. "Eddy, please don't interrupt me," Edd chided wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Anyways, it was a Great Fairy we saved, and she was much different from Tatl here. As a reward for helping her, she gave me, Marie, and Link magic."

Eddy cocked his head in disbelief, while Lee folded her arms as a similar expression flitted across her face. "Magic, huh?" Eddy said. "Yeah. Right."

"You gonna pull a rabbit outta yer hat now, Double D?" Lee snidely remarked.

This, unfortunately for her, earned her sister's ire. "Hey!" Marie snapped. "Don't you make fun of my man's magic! Yer makin' fun of mine too!"

"C'mon, Marie! Ya really expect me to believe you and Double D're wizards now?_!_" Lee retorted.

Suddenly Edd got an idea. "Allow me to demonstrate, ladies and gentlemen," he began, holding his Poe's Lantern out towards Eddy. "Perhaps you remember when I made that firestorm emerge from this lantern by blowing into it?"

Everyone dumbly nodded their heads. "Good. Eddy, I want you to do the same thing."

Eddy's face lit up like it did whenever he got a jawbreaker. "_Me_? Sweet!"

Eddy promptly snatched the lantern out of Edd's hand and grinned like a maniac. Everyone scrambled out of the way as Eddy took a deep breath and blew into the lantern's firelight.

Absolutely nothing happened.

Eddy noticed this and blew into it several more times. The firelight never extinguished, but all it did was flicker in the wind. Stopping to catch his breath, Eddy wheezed, "Hey, what gives?"

"Allow me to explain, Eddy," Edd answered, retrieving the lantern from a disgruntled Eddy. "You don't have any magic. Therefore, you can't get this lantern to do as you please."

"Makes sense," Link interjected. "Before magic, I could only shoot arrows. After that, I could shoot arrows covered in magic flames, magic ice, and sacred light too."

"I wanna shoot a Fire Arrow," May pouted to herself.

_Glooooooop_.

Everybody jumped at the sudden noise and was surprised by the perpetrator. The Green Chuchu had somehow reappeared in the bushes, looking none the worse for wear as it lazily chomped on grass. "I thought we killed that thing!" Eddy yelled, stepping back.

"You can't actually kill a Chuchu," Tatl explained. "When they dissolve, the fluids eventually reform, stomach contents and all. Don't bother it, and it'll ignore you."

"In that case, we should get going," Link said. "We're wasting valuable time."

"To adventure!" Ed yelled dramatically before running off, laughing in his usual way.

"Ed, wait up, you idiot!" Eddy shouted, chasing after him.

"Hey! You guys don't know where you're going!" Tatl exclaimed.

"When it comes to Ed, that really makes no difference," Edd responded with a sigh. "Let's go before we lose them."

The rest ran after Ed, trying to catch up to the thick-headed kid. Ed didn't even notice the large log in front of him until he smashed headlong into it, collapsing to the ground and chuckling deliriously. Eddy slowed to a stop, the others catching up to him a moment later. "Moron," Eddy grumbled.

"You alright?" Link asked with concern.

"I am A-Okay, guys!" Ed answered happily, getting to his feet.

Link blinked. "Remarkable. It's like he didn't even _feel_ it."

"It's something you get used to after a while," Edd responded.

"Hey…wait a minute!" Tatl suddenly exclaimed. "I remember this place!"

"Remember? Remember what?" Ed asked. "Because I don't remember nothing!"

"Why ain't that surprisin'?" Lee remarked with a smirk.

Tatl motioned towards a rather crudely-designed drawing on the tree which Ed had crashed into. It appeared to be a bizarre creature: a scarecrow of sorts with a large hat. The scarecrow's face appeared strange, with eyes made of perfect circles and, interestingly enough, a beak for a mouth. Above the drawing of the scarecrow were two small streaks, resembling flying fairies. The group looked in closer to observe it.

"What on earth..." Edd whispered almost to himself. "Is this the Skull Kid?"

Tatl nodded and flew up to the drawing. "Tael and I drew this with the Skull Kid when we first met him..."

She went quiet for a moment, concentrating on the drawing, before continuing.

"He told us that he had been fighting with his friends and they had left him all alone..."

The group, surprised, looked on.

"He had_ friends_?" Eddy asked in disbelief.

"Friends..." Ed stated simply, a warm smile dominating his facial features.

"The way that little stinker was actin', I ain't surprised they left 'im," Marie commented dryly.

Edd gingerly took a step forward, in front of the whole group, and then knelt down next to the drawing to examine it at eye level. It was crude in design, as though a child had drawn it, unprofessionally and unevenly. He frowned a bit and placed his hand on the wood. "Hard to imagine our adversary, for all his flair and unpleasantness, is just as much a child as the rest of us," he mused quietly.

Tatl also joined him next to the picture, looking over his shoulder. Overcome by curiosity, the others soon edged closer as well, too engrossed to really care how close they were. "Tael and I had heard the Skull Kid was a notorious prankster," Tatl continued hesitantly. "He always liked playing tricks on people, and nobody wanted to play with him because of that. We…we felt bad. So we befriended him. It was great at first, but…"

Tatl found it difficult to continue. She bowed her head as her thoughts became somber. "After he got that _mask_, it was like he was a whole different person. His pranks started getting_ nastier_…He even started _talking_ to it…"

"Reminds me of old Jonny-boy," Eddy off-handedly commented. "I bet I could out-prank Skull Kid any day o' the week."

"How nasty?" Marie slowly asked. "Like, what'd he do?"

Tatl held her gaze for a long time before turning away. "I…I don't wanna talk about it."

That in and of itself sent an uncomfortable shiver down everyone's spines. Nevertheless, nobody felt like pressing her about it. "Tatl…" Link asked. "Are you okay?"

She seemed to snap out of her trance at his voice. Shaking off her strange attitude, she again said nothing, seemingly unable to talk any more about a subject so troubling to her. Instead, she continued to press onwards, further into the woods towards the swamp.

Ed and Eddy looked at one another briefly before shrugging.

"Dames, who can figure 'em?" Eddy asked before moving on.

"Heh, I know _you_ can't," Lee sneered, following behind.

"Shut it, Kanker."

"Gravy!" Ed yelled, taking off after them.

"Wait fer me, Big Ed!" May cried, running desperately after him.

Link started to go as well before he noticed that Edd and Marie were still staring at the Skull Kid's drawing, thoughtful expressions on their faces. "You guys coming?" he asked.

Edd and Marie jumped at his voice and stood. "Yeah, yeah, we're goin'," Marie grumbled as she walked past Link to join her sisters.

Stealing a final glance at the picture, Edd followed her, with Link silently bringing up the rear.

XXXXXX

(Night of the First Day, 6:30 pm, 59 hours, 30 minutes remain)

The last few rays of sunlight were barely peeking over the horizon, leaving Edd's lantern as the group's main source of light. Clock Town was no longer visible through the maze of trees they had entered several hours ago. Eddy was panting like a dog at the rear of the group, obviously tired from their trek. "Gah…ah…how…much…further?" Eddy wheezed, almost tripping over a root.

"Not far," Tatl replied. "We should be coming across a clearing soon. After that we've reached the swamp."

Edd's lantern cast ominous shadows along the ground and trees. May edged closer to her sisters, shivering slightly. "Guys, this place gives me the creeps!" she whimpered.

"Ah, c'mon May!" Lee snorted. "Quit bein' a baby! Ain't nobody dumb enough to mess with the Kankers!"

Link glanced back towards her from where he was at the head of the group. "Don't worry, guys," he reassured them, patting his sheathed sword before continuing on.

"Lothar, destroyer of evil fears nothing!" Ed proclaimed proudly.

Eddy was so winded he couldn't even bring himself to tell Ed to shut up. "Ah! Here we are!" Tatl suddenly cried.

The group emerged from the trees to find themselves in a clearing that branched off in two directions. A lone, dead tree stood sentinel in the middle. Once out, Eddy collapsed to his knees, gasping for breath. "Gah…Can't go on…need…water," he moaned dramatically.

"There's no need for theatrics, Eddy," Edd sighed. "We're almost there."

"But I'm so tired! My lungs hurt, my legs feel like Jell-O…"

"I can make other stuff feel like Jell-O, if ya want," Lee sneered.

Eddy stood perfectly straight up. "On second thought, I'm good! Let's go, guys!"

Eddy was able to take one step forward before he suddenly jumped back with a rather high-pitched scream of terror as something popped out of the earth in front of him with a dramatic howl. The others jumped back in surprise as well as the shape moved into the light. It was a large wolf with gray and black fur, glowing green eyes, and _very_ long claws and teeth. Its long tongue lolled out of its mouth as it growled menacingly at the group. "_What the freakin' hell is that thing_?_!_" Eddy screeched.

Link's sword was out in an instant. "That's a Wolfos!" he cried, getting into his battle stance.

"A what?" Marie questioned as she and her sisters drew their weapons too.

"They're wolves," Tatl explained. "They're very territorial and will attack anyone who trespasses on their turf."

"Every man for himself!" Eddy yelled in a panic as he dashed towards the swamp entrance.

"Eddy!" Lee yelled, her face gripped with worry. "Get back here 'fore that thing kills ya!"

The Wolfos took off after Eddy, growling fiercely. The angry beast was gaining fast. Seeing this, Eddy desperately pulled out a bomb and tossed it over his shoulder. The Wolfos bounded past it before it exploded, rendering it useless. Lee was in hot pursuit, tailed by the rest of the kids. "Hey, ya flea-bitten mutt! Keep yer mangy paws off my man!" Lee roared, catching the beast's attention.

The beast turned around and loped menacingly towards Lee, who smirked nastily. "Ya wanna dance, doggy?" she sneered. "Let's go!"

The Wolfos howled and stood up on its hind legs, raising its paws for a strike. Eddy suddenly realized the monster was no longer chasing him and turned around. "What the-?"

Lee jumped back as the Wolfos struck, its large claws missing her by a mile. It snarled in anger as it rushed at her. Lee swung at its head, but the Wolfos countered with its iron-hard claws. "Lee! Attack it when it drops its guard!" Link yelled from the sidelines. "Right before it attacks!"

The Wolfos snarled again and prepared to slash at her again. "Hah!" Lee shouted, slicing off the Wolfos's arm. "I don't think so!"

The Wolfos howled in agony before Lee put it down for good, beheading it. The corpse crumpled to the ground, with a victorious Lee standing over it with a smug grin as she put her sword away. The threat taken care of, everyone put their weapons away as well. "Congratulations, Lee," Link commended. "You just caught us dinner."

"Wait, we're eatin' _that_?_!_" exclaimed Eddy, pointing at the dead Wolfos.

"Unless you want to eat grass," Link answered, walking over to the Wolfos with sword in hand. "Somebody gather some wood to make a fire. That dead tree over there looks good."

The Kankers glanced over at the tree in question before going over there to hack off some branches for the fire while Link began skinning the animal. Eddy looked at the group, shrugged his shoulders, and lay down against a boulder. Ed just stood there like an idiot, while Edd edged closer to Link and looked over his shoulder at what he was doing. "My word…" Edd mused.

"Hmm?" Link said, looking up at him. "Oh…yeah, battles are pretty…gruesome. My first kill was actually a Wolfos, and I was just ten when it happened. I sat down next to the body and cried for, like, ten minutes."

"Hey, flathead!" Lee called out to Ed in the background. "Make yerself useful and give us a hand!"

"But I need my hand so I can wave my stick!" Ed answered.

"Oh my freakin' God, quit actin' stupid and help us carry these branches, dipshit!"

Edd winced at Lee's coarse choice of language. Ed then ran over and promptly pulled the dead tree out of the ground with his bare hands. The noise made Link and Edd nearly jump out of their skins as they whirled around. "What the?_!_" Link cried, seeing Ed hefting the tree over his shoulders while Lee yelled at him.

Eddy was laughing from where he was sitting. Link watched Ed drop the tree with an "Alley-oop!" before turning to Edd. "Does…he do that often?" he cautiously asked.

"Well, it's not limited to just trees," Edd answered. "I've seen him lift _houses_ before."

"H-h-_houses_?_!_"

"We got used to it."

A few minutes later, enough wood was gathered to make a fire. Link knelt by the stack of wood and placed his hands over it. "Din's Fire," he whispered, and immediately the campfire blazed to life, followed by a collective muttering of 'whoa'.

Shortly afterwards the Wolfos meat was on a spit being turned over by Ed while the others sat around the fire, relaxing. After throwing some spices on the meat to add flavor, Link cocked his head towards Ed, hoping to make conversation with him. "So, Ed…how're you holding up over there?"

"I like to sniff my fingers after I eat cheese!" Ed proclaimed with a big grin, still turning the meat.

After a brief moment of silence, Link cupped his mouth and whispered to Edd, "Double D, your friend is starting to scare me."

"There's no need to be afraid of him, Link," Edd whispered back. "Ed's quite harmless unless his friends are in danger…or there's a pebble in his shoe."

"Huh?"

"It's a long story."

"I see."

"When's this stupid thing gonna be ready?" Eddy complained, his stomach grumbling loudly.

"Ever heard of a thing called patience?" Tatl asked sarcastically.

"Harumph!" Eddy snorted, crossing his arms.

This caused Link to laugh to himself quietly. "Hey, what's so funny, Cable?" Eddy snapped.

Link immediately stopped laughing and glared at Eddy. "You remind me a little _too_ much of someone I used to know. And my name. Is. Link."

"Was he smart? Clever? A king of pranksters?" Eddy boasted, puffing out his chest.

"No, he was actually kind of annoying."

Eddy's chest deflated as everybody laughed around him. "His name was Mido, and half the time we spoke, I ended up pounding his face in."

"Eep!" Eddy squeaked, scooting away from Link, who just ignored him and poked absent-mindedly at the fire with a stick.

"And the wheels on the bus go round-and-round," Ed started singing as he continued turning the spit. "Round-and-round, round-and-round, the wheels on the bus go round-and-round…"

"Ed, shut up!" Lee and Eddy simultaneously yelled before glancing at each other in surprise.

"I think we could do with some music, though," Link said, pulling out his ocarina.

"You know the Mortal Kombat theme?" Eddy asked.

"No."

"Ya know the theme from Star Wars?" Lee asked.

"Ooh! Ooh!" May interjected. "Do Darth Vader's theme!"

Link rubbed his temple with his free hand and sighed. "I don't know any of those songs. We're not even from the same world! How could I know?"

"Eddy, perhaps we should stick to the songs he_ does _know," Edd recommended.

Link glanced in his direction. "Are you always the voice of reason?"

"He sure is," Marie giggled, nuzzling up against a nervous Edd's shoulder. "Ain't it cute?"

"Oh my…" Edd breathed.

"Double D and Marie, sittin' in a tree," Lee sang with a smug grin. "K, I, S, S, I, N, G!"

"What's that spell?" Ed asked, utterly ruining the moment.

"Anyways, this is a song I learned from a friend a long time ago," Link interrupted, causing everyone to quiet down. "This is Saria's Song."

Link began to play the song on his ocarina. It was a lively tune, and everyone had to fight the urge to get up and dance. One of them succumbed, and Ed began dancing in place as he turned the spit. This in turn broke May's resolve, and she too got up and started dancing, laughing as she did. Seeing this, Marie nudged Edd's shoulder. "Wanna join 'em?" she asked with a playful smirk.

"I…um…I-I don't s-s-see why not," Edd stuttered uncertainly.

Her smile widening, Marie jumped up, pulling Edd along with her, and took her hands in his. The two of them then started dancing. The dance was awkward at first, but soon to his shock, Edd realized he was starting to enjoy it. Soon it became less strange as Edd got more into the music. Link was in his own world now, his eyes closed and upper body swaying slightly as he played. Lee was tapping her foot to the beat while Eddy stared dumbfounded at Edd and Marie. _The heck? Sockhead looks like he's…enjoying it!_ he thought.

This continued for several minutes until Link finished the song. Seconds later, Ed suddenly said, "Ding, fries are done!"

"Huh?" Link asked. "Oh! Guys, dinner's ready!"

Panting from the exertion, the Eds and Kankers sat back around the campfire as Link pulled out his sword and began cutting off strips of meat. With their swords, the Kankers did the same, cutting some off for themselves and for their 'boyfriends'. The next ten minutes were spent eating the Wolfos meat, which was actually somewhat tolerable. Eddy still found room to complain, but he was pretty much ignored. After everyone was finished, Ed stretched and yawned rather loudly. "Ed pooped," he said sleepily.

May yawned as well. "Yeah, me too."

"Well, if we're going to sleep, we need someone to keep a lookout so monsters won't decide to snoop around," Link advised with a stretch.

"Well, it sure as heck ain't gonna be me!" Eddy stated, crossing his arms.

"Eddy has first watch," Link said, laying down.

"_What_?_!_"

"You heard me. Wake me up in two hours and I'll take second watch."

"But I'm tired! I need my beauty sleep!"

"Yeah, and a lot of it," Lee remarked with a smirk as she lay down on her back.

Eddy gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Hey, Eddy!" May suddenly asked. "What about that All-Night Mask o' yers?"

"Huh? This?" Eddy asked, pulling the mask in question out of his pocket. "What about it?"

"The guy who gave to ya said it could keep ya from falling asleep if you wore it, didn't he?"

Eddy looked at the All-Night Mask and turned it over in his hands. "It's worth a shot, don't you think, Eddy?" Edd asked.

Eddy sighed. "Fine." He put the mask on.

Ed saw him and giggled. "You look like a Martian from that movie, _Mars Needs Vacations_, Eddy!"

"Shut up and go to sleep, Lumpy," Eddy growled.

"Right-O, Eddy!" Ed answered, laying down as well.

"'Night, dreamboat," Lee crowed before settling down.

"'Night, Big Ed!" May said before closing her eyes.

"Good night, Ed," Edd said.

"'Night, Double D!"

"Good night, Eddy."

"Grumble grumble…"

"'Night, Double D," Marie said sweetly before laying down next to Edd, who started sweating nervously again.

"Oh…yes, um…Good night, Marie."

"We'll change around 'til six in the morning," Link informed. "'Night, everyone."

"I ain't sleeping out here in the cold!" Tatl yelled. "Move over!"

The fairy then dashed inside Link's hat. Link said nothing, as he was quite used to having fairies hide in his hat. Soon everybody except Eddy was asleep, and the remaining group member hugged himself and grumbled irritably to himself as the night wore on, glancing at his watch every five or so minutes. Time seemed to move by so slowly, and when two hours had finally come and gone, Eddy was all too eager to nudge Link's shoulder, waking him up. "Two hours're up."

Link nodded, and Eddy took off the All-Night Mask and stowed it back in his pocket before laying down to get some shut-eye. Link spent the next two hours staring mostly at the moon, as it wasn't something easily ignored. He didn't like wasting time during an adventure, but he knew that everybody, including him, needed sleep, and while he could easily go two or three days without it, he had to take a break sometime. He also had an internal alarm clock in his brain, because he knew right when two hours had passed. He turned his head to the group behind him to decide who would take next watch. Ed was quite an oblivious kid, he wouldn't do. He supposed he could get one of the Kankers to do it, but Lee was an insufferable hardhead, and he had a feeling she might try to pound his face in if he woke her. May was an option, she seemed docile enough. Then again, Edd seemed like a good choice too, considering his Poe's Lantern. He looked over at where Edd was sleeping and was immediately surprised at what he saw. Marie was huddled next to Edd, clutching onto him lovingly as she slept. Edd, unconsciously pleased by her warmth, had one arm hung around her shoulder. Both of them had small smiles on their faces. The lantern was sitting right next to Edd's other hand, floating about an inch off the ground as it cast long shadows across the ground. Link couldn't help but smile at this. No, he would leave them alone. That left May. Link went over and nudged her shoulder. "May? Your turn now."

May slowly awoke. "Aw."

Getting up, she went over to Eddy's sleeping form and gingerly pulled the All-Night Mask out of his pocket before putting it on. "Wake me up again in two hours," Link said before laying down to sleep.

And so the night passed.

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**You guys had better be prepared, because I think we're in this for the long run. I have a feeling this will be my longest story yet, so forgive me if not every chapter is action-packed. Please review! I accept anonymous ones!**

13


	15. The Deku Kingdom

**Whooo, long chapter is long. Oh well. Here's the next installment to our latest adventure with our heroes! I am now going to sleep.**

**XXXXXXXX000XXXXXXXX**

**Chapter Fifteen: The Deku Kingdom**

(Dawn of the Second Day, 6:00 am, 48 hours remain)

Edd slowly awoke as he heard the rooster crow. Immediately he became aware that someone was touching him. No, more than touching, someone was _holding_ onto him. Opening his eyes, he suddenly found himself face-to-face with a still-sleeping Marie. His breath immediately caught in his throat at the closeness of a Kanker. She had a slight smile on her face, and the makeup on her eyes glistened in the morning light. _She actually looks rather…cute, _Edd thought sinfully to himself.

Suddenly Marie began to stir, mumbling sleepily as she did so. Her eyes opened, and Edd happened to steal a glance at her blind eye, which was a sickly milk-white in color. Realizing who was in front of her, she grinned. "Mornin' sweetie," she cooed.

"Ah…um…m-morning, Marie…" Edd stuttered as he dragged himself to his feet.

"Oh good, you're awake," Link said, who was already awake and standing next to Lee, May, and Ed. Eddy was still asleep, or at least trying to remain asleep, as Link had been attempting to wake him for several minutes to no avail. "Maybe you know how to get your friend here to get his lazy butt in gear."

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do," Edd apologized. "Eddy's quite the stubborn gentleman." Suddenly he got an idea, an idea that had he thought of it any other time, he would have dismissed it as too evil. "But I think someone _else_ can. Lee?"

Lee started giggling menacingly. "Whaddaya reckon I should do, Marie?"

"Give 'im a wet willie!" Marie cried with a nasty smile.

Not a second afterwards, Eddy's eyes popped open and he scrambled desperately to his feet. "No, no, wait! I'm up! I'm up!" he cried in terror.

"Heh heh, mornin', sleepyhead," Lee greeted.

"Took you long enough," Link said, his arms folded in a condescending way. "It's morning, and the swamp's just ahead. So let's go."

"What about breakfast?" Eddy demanded.

"I salted some of the Wolfos meat and dried it. We can have that."

"Don'cha got some berries or beef jerky or somethin' like that?"

"Do I look like I can just pull a banquet out from under my hat?" Link snapped impatiently. "Quests aren't as glamorous or fun-filled as you think, Eddy! There's days you go without good food, there's monsters who either want your head on a pike or your flesh in their bellies, there's bugs, deserts, mountains, haunted graves, and things that'll make your skin crawl. Get. Over. It."

By now, Link was in Eddy's face, and Eddy found himself cowering before Link's piercing blue eyes. "Geez, give it a rest, will ya?" Eddy said, edging back.

Link said nothing, preferring instead to shove a strip of salted Wolfos in Eddy's face. "_Eat_."

As Eddy grudgingly bit into the Wolfos jerky, Link tossed other strips over to his companions, who immediately started munching on their meager breakfast. "We can eat while we walk," Tatl advised. "Let's go."

Link, Tatl, the Eds, and the Kankers continued on, Tatl in the lead. After about a ten-minute trek, they found themselves right where they needed to be. Strangely, though, the swamp looked more like a jungle, with large, exotic plants and trees all over the place. A house made of bamboo on stilts was situated just in front of them, and beneath it ran a river. Several extraordinarily large lily pads floated on the water's surface. Upon entering, Link suddenly stopped in his tracks, causing everyone else to stop as well. "Wait," Link cautioned. "You guys smell that?"

Everyone took a sniff and immediately caught a sickeningly-sweet scent on the wind. "Yuck!" Lee said. "Smells nasty!"

"Who cares what it is?" Eddy snapped. "I need water!"

Eddy started walking towards the river, and as he did, Link started feeling something was off. "Dear lord," Edd complained, rubbing his nose. "It almost smells like…"

Link's eyes went wide at the realization. "Eddy! Stop!" he cried, running over. "Don't drink that water!"

"Buzz off, Blondie!" Eddy retorted, kneeling down. "I'm thirsty!"

With amazing strength, Link wrapped his arms around Eddy's midsection and pulled him away from the water's edge. "Hey! What gives?_!_" Eddy roared as he struggled.

"The water! It's poisoned!" Link cried.

Eddy stopped struggling. "Poisoned?"

Link let go and pointed at the water's edge. "Look at it, guys. The grass closest to the water is dead. And those trees look like they're wilting."

"My word," Edd said, looking at the water. "The water's purple, too. That must be what that malodorous scent is. The poison in the water!"

"Great," Marie said, folding her arms. "Poisoned swamp water. How the heck're we gonna get through _that_ without killin' ourselves?"

Link happened to notice a boat tethered to the dock of the runway to the house, just beneath the ladder. "Let's see if we can borrow that boat," Link said, pointing to it. "Come on, guys."

Link led the way to the bamboo house and climbed up the ladder, the others following behind. Link opened the door for the others as they walked in. On one side of the room was a desk with a very large, heavy-set man sitting behind the counter, thinking to himself. On the other side was a booth with a small window that led into darkness. It appeared to be empty. "Now where has that boy gotten to?" the man mumbled to himself. "If he's off searchin' fer fairies again I'm gonna—"

"Excuse me, sir," Link interrupted, catching the man's attention.

"Oh, hello there, kids!" he exclaimed, looking down at them. "What can I help ya with?"

"I was wondering whether we could use your boat," Link answered. "We need to get across the swamp, but the water is poisoned."

The man frowned. "Ain't mine, kid. That boat belongs to the lady who operates the ticket booth." He jabbed a beefy finger towards the vacant ticket booth. "Early this mornin' she went to go gather mushrooms fer her sister's potion shop. Hasn't come back yet. Now that I think about it, she's takin' longer than she said she would."

The kids cast nervous glances at each other. "Well, thank you anyways, sir," Link said, motioning for his companions to leave with him.

Once outside, Link told everyone to gather round. Once everyone was in earshot, Link said, "Okay, I think I have an idea on how we're going to do this. We have three Deku masks on us. Marie, Double D, you're with me, as the three of us are most acquainted with the rigors of being…well, Deku."

Edd and Marie both swallowed. Those memories were not very positive. "Why on earth do we need those?" Edd asked.

Link pointed over towards the water. "See those huge lily pads? I bet those are big enough to hold Deku. They look like they form a path down the river. The rest of you are gonna wait here. We're going to find the boat owner and see if she can ferry the rest of you across to wherever we need to go."

Link suddenly stopped. "Speaking of which," he said as he glanced at Tatl. "Where exactly is that?"

"The Deku Kingdom owns the Woodfall Temple up inside the mountain above us," she said. "We should talk to them."

Edd sighed. "Alright, then. Ed, if you would be so kind as to return my Deku mask."

"Sure thing, Double D!" Ed answered, digging into his pocket and pulling out the Deku Mask before handing it to Edd.

Marie drew out hers, followed by Link, and in a coordinated fashion, slowly put the Deku Masks over their faces. The three of them gasped in surprise as they felt the masks stretch over their faces. They could feel their bodies twisting and changing, and the others were starting to get unnerved by their comrades' transformations. The three of them managed to look up and scream once, their voices distorted and the masks' eyes more realistic, before a flash of light blinded everyone. When it was over, Link, Marie, and Edd were back in their Deku forms. "Jeez, that looked painful," Eddy observed.

Rubbing his somewhat sore back, Edd replied, "It was rather…uncomfortable."

Checking themselves just to make sure they hadn't grown any extra appendages, Link spoke up. "Alright, guys. Let's go."

"Just don't get yerselves eaten, okay?" Eddy said gruffly, folding his arms.

Edd said nothing in reply, instead looking over the water at the nearest lily. Sucking in his breath, he jumped into the water and skipped across until he reached the lily. To his surprise, it could indeed hold his small weight. He looked over his shoulder at Link and Marie and ushered them on before leaping over to the next to make way for them. The three of them lily-hopped further down the river until they had lost sight of the others, and Edd could have sworn he had seen Lee leering over Eddy with a dangerously amorous smile before they had vanished.

Eventually they came across a dock that led to a path. The lily pads went off on down the river, but there was something about the path that caught their interest. A large pot with green steam puffing out of it sat off to the side, overshadowed by a banner of some kind. As expected, it was in Hylian, leaving Edd and Marie unable to read it. "Magic Hag's Potion Shop," Link read for them. "The guy said the boat owner's sister operated a potion shop. Let's see if she's there."

Edd and Marie shrugged and hopped over to the dock, followed by Link. Once all three were on shore, Link said, "I think we can take these off for now."

Link pulled the Deku Mask off his face and immediately returned to normal. Glancing at each other, Edd and Marie gripped the sides of their faces and tugged, pulling off their masks as well. Back to normal, the three kids stowed away their masks before walking onward, Tatl the fairy taking the lead. After a few minutes, the path opened up into a large clearing. A large pool of fresh, clean water lay before them. Situated in the middle of said pool was a platform with a long ladder that led up to another platform. On top of the higher platform rested an abnormally large teacup. Upon closer inspection, Edd gaped, "My word…that's a _house_!"

"Must be the potion shop," Marie said, looking up at the intriguing structure.

Before Link could contribute to the conversation, they suddenly heard a whooshing noise coming from the house. The noise seemed to originate from an astonishingly old woman perched on a broomstick floating out of the spout of the teacup-house. Edd and Marie's eyes widened in surprise as the witch floated off in the direction of the woods. Link's eyes were wide as well, but for a different reason. "Was…that who I _thought_ it was?" he wondered aloud.

"That's Kotake, the owner of the potion shop," Tatl explained. "You met her before or something?"

"Back in Hyrule, she and her sister Koume were evil witches," Link answered as his mind drifted off into distant memories. "They were collectively known as Twinrova, and they were the ones who raised Ganondorf, the guy who tried to conquer my homeland."

"Yeah, well, Koume and Kotake've been here all their lives, so you must be talking about your alternate version of them."

"Alternate version?" Marie asked in confusion.

"I suppose that makes sense," Edd mused. "I have heard theories about alternate universes having their own versions of the same people. Granted, they were mostly from Ed's comic books, but still…"

"If that's the case," Link answered, folding his arms as his brow furrowed. "Then that means the owner of that boat at the Swamp Tourist Center is her sister Koume."

"If you're done talkin', I think we should follow her and see what's goin' on," Marie interrupted impatiently, tapping her foot.

Both boys blinked. "Oh, sorry," they both replied.

"She went into the Woods of Mystery," Tatl observed. "There's a group of monkeys that live there. They might be able to help us find Koume."

"Monkeys?" Edd queried, slightly confused.

"Just c'mon," Tatl sighed, taking the lead.

Deciding not to argue, the group followed the fairy past the potion shop and into the entrance of the Woods of Mystery. Upon entering, something ahead immediately caught their attention. A small monkey with off-white fur and tan skin was watching them, fidgeting excitedly. "Look, there's one now!" Tatl exclaimed, pointing.

"Oh my God, it's so adorable!" Marie squealed, instantly attracting strange looks from her companions.

"Mmm…follow me!"

The three kids did a double-take. "What the?_!_" Marie gasped.

"D-Did it just…_talk_?_!_" Edd stuttered.

The monkey padded over to the path to their right, then looked back at them.

"I think he wants us to follow him," Link said.

"C'mon!" Marie cried, running after it, with the boys bringing up the rear.

They followed the monkey down a series of split paths, taking a different direction each time. Suddenly the monkey stopped, and as the kids caught up, they discovered why. Kotake the Ice Witch was hovering above them, calling out Koume's name and fretting to herself. Taking a moment to confirm that he was actually seeing a witch flying around on a broomstick, Edd timidly spoke up, "Um, pardon me, madam."

Hearing Edd's voice, the witch swiveled around and saw the three kids and the monkey. "Oh, my!" she cried, lowering herself to the ground. "I don't think I've seen you youngsters around here before! Are you here for some of my potions? I'm afraid it'll have to wait. I'm looking for my sister, and…"

"The owner of the boat docked at the tourist center, we know," Link interrupted. "We're actually looking for her too."

"Oh, thank goodness! I don't want to be a burden, but I don't like leaving my shop unattended for too long. Could you please find my sister for me? Tell that old crone I need those Magic Mushrooms for my Blue Potion! If you do, I'll have a surprise for you!"

"Sure thing, granny!" Marie stated with a thumbs-up and a grin. "We'll take care of it!"

"Thanks so much!" Kotake cried before lifting off on her broom and disappearing over the tree-line with a cackle.

"Ook! Ook! Follow me!" the monkey ushered, catching the kids' attention.

"Oh!" Edd said. "Right!"

The kids hurriedly followed after the small monkey down the winding paths until the trees parted into an opening. There were several other monkeys hopping in place next to an old witch who looked almost identical to her sister save the red crystal on her forehead. She was lying face-down in the dirt, feebly trying to get up. The first to realize what was in front of him, Edd put his hands over his mouth and gasped in horror. "Good God! What happened to you?_!_"

Reacting to Edd's voice, Koume slowly lifted her head and shot the three kids a pleading look. "Ooooh owoww! Help me!" she moaned.

As Edd, Link, Marie, and Tatl ran over to Koume's side, the monkeys bolted, each going a different direction. "Are you hurt?" Link asked, kneeling in front of Koume.

The old witch lifted her head and looked at Link with her large, ponderous eyes. "Here I was just minding my own business, and suddenly BAM! I get hit from behind!" The witch scowled in anger. "That pesky Skull Kid! Did he really think this old hag wouldn't recognize him with that silly mask of his?"

The kids and fairy started at the mention of the Skull Kid. "Whoa…the _Skull Kid_ did this to you?_!_" Marie gasped.

Koume gritted her teeth in pain as she turned her head towards Marie. "Darn right he did! Oh…to think he's _that_ strong…now I can't even move!"

"I can't believe the nerve o' that little punk!" Marie huffed angrily. "Beatin' up on old ladies! Everything I hear about 'im makes me wanna punch 'im in the face even more!"

The Fire Witch's eyes gazed imploringly at Link. "You there! Don't you have anything that gives you energy?"

"Huh?" Edd inquired. "I'm afraid I don't see how an energy drink could help with…"

"I don't have any potions on me," Link said, interrupting Edd. "But your sister wanted us to look for you! If I go tell your sister where you are, I'm sure she can give me a Red Potion for you!"

Koume's expression brightened ever so slightly. "Please! Hurry with you!"

Link looked over at his two companions. "Double D, Marie, stay here with her," he commanded. "I'm gonna get her some medicinal potion. I'll be back soon!"

Marie was too angry at Skull Kid's actions to complain about being ordered around. Exchanging a nod with Edd, Link turned and ran back into the forest, Tatl floating over his head. Left alone with the strange witch, Edd and Marie couldn't help but feel awkward about the situation. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Koume glanced towards Edd. "You, what's your name?"

"Oh, uh…my name's Eddward, but everybody calls me Double D for short."

The witch feebly pointed towards Edd's right. "Could you fetch me my basket of mushrooms? Please? Bring them to me."

Edd and Marie looked over to see a basket of purple spotted mushrooms sitting awkwardly by a tree. One mushroom had spilled out of it. Edd walked over and picked up the basket, making sure to put the one mushroom back inside before running over to Koume's prone form. Kneeling down at her side, he handed her the basket, which she feebly took in her hand. Looking up at Edd and Marie, the witch said, "After what that little brat Skull Kid did to me, it's nice to see that not all the kids these days are as rotten as he is."

Edd scratched his head in embarrassment. "Oh, um…thanks, I guess."

Marie soon found Koume's eyes boring into her. "And you, what's your name?" Koume asked.

"I'm Marie," Marie replied gently, far more gently than Edd had thought capable of her. "Marie Kanker."

The old witch managed a smile. "You've got spunk, kid. You remind me a lot of my sisters up in the bay. I just hope you're not as hard-headed."

"Whatever do you mean?" Edd asked.

"My sister and I are Gerudo. Our people are all female, which is sad, because it means the Gerudo have to go to town to look for mates. When hard times fell, they resorted to piracy to make ends meet. My sister Kotake and I didn't like that idea very much, so we moved here to the swamp and opened up our businesses. I do wish our poor niece Aveil would abandon her foolhardy dreams of pirating, but with no wars, what's a warrior race to do?"

"An all-girl warrior race, huh?" Marie said, folding her arms as a grim smirk formed on her face. "I like 'em already."

Suddenly the sound of snapping branches and disturbed foliage was heard. All eyes turned to see Link with a glass bottle filled to the brim with a red liquid inside. "Sorry I'm late," he said as he ran over to Koume. "I brought you something."

Link uncorked the bottle, and Koume's eyes widened. "Ah! That color! That smell…that's definitely Kotake's!"

Koume slowly reached up and took the bottle from Link before putting it to her wrinkled lips and downing it in a few gulps. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Koume smiled. "Ooh! Feel the energy flow! Koume is revived!"

She handed Link back his bottle before putting her hands together. To Edd and Marie's surprise, she began forming a ball of light in her palms. There was a bright flash of light, and once the kids had removed their hands from their faces, they saw Koume floating on her broomstick with a cheerful smile on her face. "You saved me!" she stated. "I'm the swamp tour guide, so if you need a free lift, just drop by the tourist center!"

Cackling merrily, she took to the air and disappeared over the treetops. Stowing the bottle back in his inventory, Link allowed a relieved smile to crease his face. "Alright, then! Let's go see what Kotake has as our reward, then regroup with the others."

"Sounds like a plan," Marie agreed. "Let's get goin', Double D!"

The three kids made their way out of the Woods of Mystery and soon found themselves back at the entrance, where the potion shop was situated. Before they could take one more step forward, though, three little balls of fur dropped down from above and blocked their path. It was the monkeys from before. "Huh?" Tatl asked. "What do you guys want?"

The monkey in the middle ignored her and said, "You three…you have strange powers, no?"

Link blinked in surprise.

"Uh…" was all Edd said.

"Me been watching you!" the monkey said excitedly.

Marie folded her arms and glanced off to the side. "Great. More stalkers."

"Lately this swamp, fill with poison water," the monkey said in broken English/Hylian. "Temple above waterfall strange. Brother go to temple."

"Temple above the waterfall?" Tatl asked. "You mean the Woodfall Temple? How do you get to it?"

The monkey shook its head. "Brother no able to find entrance. Temple for Deku only. Brother captured by Deku. Now in palace."

"Wait, _captured_?" Link gasped.

"Oh dear," Edd fretted. "Whatever for?"

"Brother friends with Deku princess. But Deku King crazy. He think Brother kidnap princess! It lie! Help!"

The monkeys then took off, running further down back into the swamp. Edd and Marie looked at Link, whose eyes were closed and his brow furrowed in concentration. "So what do we do?" Marie asked.

Link opened his eyes and glanced at his companions. "We gotta do something about that monkey in the Deku Palace. He might know how to get to the temple."

"What's so important about the temple?" Marie asked.

"Take it from me," Link answered. "If there's a curse around, more likely than not it's coming from the local temple. And more often than not, something or someone of great importance is locked up in there and guarded by a giant monster. I have a gut feeling one of the 'four who are there' is trapped in there."

Marie's visible eye widened slightly. "Giant monster?"

"You act like you've done this before," Edd interjected.

Link glanced at him. "I have. Had to do it eight times during my previous adventure. It's not fun."

"Well, in any case, let's get back to the others," Tatl advised. "It's already almost noon."

"We gotta stop by Kotake's potion shop first," Link said. "I think I know what her reward's gonna be. It could be useful in the future."

Link started walking towards the potion shop and began climbing up the long ladder. Opting to just wait for him to come back, Edd and Marie just stood and watched as Link entered the potion shop. "Double D, I have a feeling we're a little deeper into this than I thought," Marie said.

Edd sighed. "Perhaps. But think of it this way. We're at least being helped by someone who has knowledge and experience about these quests rather than doing it all on our own."

"I know, but…didn't you hear what he said about temples? You know, with the _giant monsters_?"

"Oh, I'm sure he was just…_exaggerating_."

Unfortunately, Edd found himself doubting his own statement. A few minutes later, they saw Link leave the potion shop and climb down the ladder. Walking over to him, Edd asked, "So what did she give you?"

Link withdrew his bottle, and this time it was filled to the brim with a blue substance. "Blue Potion," he explained. "Free of charge. This is the best medicinal potion you can get. Not only will it heal your injuries, it also replenishes your magic stores."

Link stowed the Blue Potion away and brought out his Deku Mask. "Let's get back to the others."

Edd and Marie brought out their masks as well and one flash later, all three were in their Deku forms. Getting used to their alternate forms again, they took off down the path and headed back up the river, once more utilizing the lily pads floating on the water's surface. Soon they could see the tourist center, as well as the other Eds and Kankers. Ed was running around in circles as he was chased by May, while Eddy was screaming at a smirking Lee to stay back. Taking a moment to look upon the scene, both Edd and Marie shook their heads. "Some things never change, huh?" Marie quipped.

Edd smiled wanly. "I suppose not."

"Let's go before they murder each other, shall we?" Link sighed, going on ahead.

The two of them followed behind, eventually being spotted by their comrades. May and Lee stopped bothering the Eds and looked over at them. "Double D!" Eddy yelled. "What the heck took ya so long? Ya just missed it! Some old hag on a broom came flyin' over us and went into that house up there!"

"You mean Koume?" Edd replied, startling Eddy as he, Marie, and Link took off their masks. "She just so happens to be the owner of that boat we need to use. For helping her out of a dire situation, she has offered us a free ride to the Deku Kingdom."

Eddy crossed his arms. "_Finally_, some progress," he huffed.

"Yes, well, we also found out something interesting," Edd continued. "The Deku King has taken an innocent monkey captive, and said monkey may be the only one who knows how to get into the temple above the waterfall."

"Yer sayin' we gotta go rescue it?" Lee asked.

"We'll see what happens," Link answered. "We have to _get _there first. Come on."

Link led the kids back up to the tourist center and went inside with them, immediately crossing over to the booth that had been empty before. Now the small window was taken up by Koume's obscenely-large nose and eyes, which brightened as she recognized her rescuers. "Well! Look who's here! Come for that free ride?"

"Yep," Link said. "These guys here are my companions. We need to get to the Deku Kingdom as soon as possible."

"The Deku Kingdom, eh?" Koume repeated, scratching her chin. "You sure that's wise? Ever since the swamp water got all foul, they've been in an uproar."

"We can handle it," Link assured her.

"Well…alright, if you insist!"

Koume stood up and opened the side door to her booth, stepping out of it. "It's magic-operated, but I have to start the engine," she informed them.

They followed the old witch out the door. She floated down the ladder over to the boat and began tinkering with it. The kids all followed her down and reached the dock just as Koume started the boat's engine. "Ah! There we go! Purring like a cat!" She looked up at the group. "Just step inside and you'll be off. Be warned, though, once you get off, it'll come back here. And I'm only giving you one free ride, got it?"

They all dumbly nodded their heads. Link stepped in first, sitting at the front, followed by Marie, Edd, Eddy, Ed, May, and Lee. Once they were all in, the boat began to move. The old witch waved at them before returning to the tourist center. The boat slowly took them downriver, passing by large, colorful plants and strange wildlife. Soon they came upon a large tunnel and passed through it, entering a new area of the swamp. Link was the first to notice the impressive structure ahead of them. "Look, guys!" he cried, pointing to a large wooden wall painted with tribal colors. A small passageway was cut into its surface. "That must be the entrance to the Deku Palace!"

A small dock jutted out in front of them, and the boat slowed to a stop right there. "We're here, guys," Tatl said as the each got out one-by-one. "Now, the Deku are pretty strict about who comes to their palace. They're not very fond of strangers, so I think the rest of you should stay here while Link, Double D, Marie, and I go speak to them."

"What, and leave us outta the action?" Lee said.

"No, Tatl raises a fine point," Edd interrupted. "If we want to get on their good side, we should do whatever puts them most at ease."

Edd, Link, and Marie then put on their Deku Masks and transformed again. "Wait here, guys," Marie told her sisters. "We'll be back."

"Thanks for the warnin'," May quipped, and was immediately silenced by an angry glare from Marie.

Link led the way, followed by Edd, and then Marie, leaving Ed, Eddy, Lee, and May alone once again. Once they walked through, they could see first-hand the splendor of the Deku Palace. It was an impressive structure indeed, made completely of wood. The planks tapered to a point dozens of feet upward. A passageway of wooden planks led to the palace, where two Deku stood guard. Without a word, Link continued on, with Edd and Marie dutifully following behind. As they approached the Deku guards, one of them stood up in his flower. "This is the palace of the Deku! Only those on official business may enter!"

Before Link or the others could speak, the Deku continued. "But you _may_ enter to see the public humiliation of the foolish monkey who angered our king!"

The two Deku turned around. "The Throne Room is straight down that corridor. Do not enter any other areas whatsoever!"

With that, the two Scrubs burrowed into their flowers to allow access to their palace. Looking down at them for a moment, Link shrugged and stepped past them. Marie trudged after him, while Edd took careful measure to avoid stepping on the flowers. As they neared the Throne Room, they could hear a commotion from within. Quietly they stepped inside and were met with a bizarre sight. The room was quite grand. Many tribal symbols adorned the walls. A large fire burned in the middle of the room. On the left side of the room was a large cage where a monkey was tied securely to a post. At the far end of the Throne Room was a large, imposing Deku with a huge leafy bulge on his head that could have been his crown. Another Deku stood at his side, trying to calm his temper. He had two balls of leaves on either side of his head resembling a Larry Fine-like hairdo. More Deku Scrubs were clamoring to themselves, spreading rumors amongst each other.

Taking in the scene before them, Link took a deep breath before marching forward. "Um, Link?" Edd whispered, but his voice was drowned out in all the noise.

Sighing in resignation, he and Marie followed Link up to the Deku King's throne. "Excuse me, your Majesty?" Link stated, catching the king's attention.

"You three! I have not seen your faces before!" the Deku King cried, pointing his scepter at the three of them. "Are you visiting from somewhere? Normally I don't allow the likes of you in my chamber, but today is different!" He pointed towards the monkey's cage. "See that monkey over there? He has kidnapped my beautiful daughter and insulted the Deku Crown! I'll show him what it means to make a mockery of the Deku Kingdom! Take a good look at him, friends!"

Link immediately ran over and gripped the wooden bars, followed closely by Edd and Marie. Together they watched the monkey struggle futilely against his bindings. "Please! You have to believe me!" the monkey cried. "No matter how much you accuse me, it won't bring the Princess back! If you're not careful, she'll fall victim to a monster! Please, believe my words…"

"We believe you," Edd suddenly said, feeling empathy for the monkey's plight.

The monkey looked up and glanced at the three Deku. "How do I know you're not just going to mock me?" the monkey retorted sourly.

"Because we came to find out how to fix the swamp," Link said.

"And your brothers told us to talk to you and see if we could getcha outta here!" Marie whispered.

The monkey stared at them before sighing. "No, don't worry about me. It's the princess who's in real danger. When the swamp water became poisoned, the princess and I went off to the Woodfall Temple to see what was going on, because from what we could tell, the poison was originating from the temple itself. She and I went into the temple, but we were attacked by a huge jungle warrior of some kind. Called himself Odolwa, I think. He captured the princess, and I was lucky to escape myself."

"Don't worry, we'll get the princess and clear your name!" Link whispered.

"Wait! There's only one way to get into the temple. You have to play a certain song on the Deku pipes that only the Deku Royal Family is supposed to know. Listen carefully. It goes like this…"

Just barely loud enough for Link to hear, the monkey recited a series of notes two times in a row. "Alright, got it!" Link nodded. "We'll be back with the princess! Don't worry!"

Link nodded to the others and started heading for the exit. Marie followed after him, but Edd stayed long enough to whisper, "Do take care of yourself, sir," before he left as well.

As they left, they heard the Deku King issue an order that chilled them to their bones and set them all off into a run. "Get that boiling pot ready!"

13


	16. Woodfall Temple

**I would have uploaded this last night, but the site was being a pain. You may notice the layout of several locations, including Woodfall Temple, have changed. This is for the sake of the story, so no complaining. Also, I was eating buttered toast while writing the Ed and May section. Laugh with me.**

**XXXXXXXXX000XXXXXXX**

**Chapter Sixteen: Woodfall Temple**

(Second Day, 1:25 pm, 53 hours, 35 minutes remain)

For once it seemed that Lee and May had decided not to bother Ed or Eddy during the others' absence, and when Link, Edd, and Marie returned, the four of them looked expectantly at their returning comrades. "So, what now?" Eddy asked.

"I'm not quite sure, Eddy," Edd responded, scratching his head.

"We gotta find out where that temple is," Link added. "The monkey said the poison is coming from the temple, so that's where we gotta go."

"Ya mean they didn't tell ya where to find it?" Lee queried in frustration.

"They were a little busy rantin' about punishin' that little monkey fer kidnappin' their princess," Marie replied with a sour look.

"Ook! Ook! Was my brother all right?"

Everybody jumped at the new voice, but Link, Edd and Marie recognized it immediately. Everyone turned to see one of the monkeys staring over at them from the entrance to the Deku Palace. "Dude, did that monkey just _talk_?_!_" Eddy gasped in disbelief.

Ignoring him, Link knelt down and said with a reassuring smile, "Yes, he's alright. We're going to help, but we need to know how to get to Woodfall. Do you know?"

The monkey backflipped in place. "Mmm…There is entrance to right of palace entrance. Leads to Woodfall Mountain. But only Deku can get past it."

"We'll find a way," Edd spoke up. "And your brother was kind enough to tell us how to get inside the temple. We'll rescue him. You have our word."

The monkey performed various acrobatics in its excitement. "Ooh! Ook! You great people! I have faith! Save my brother!"

And with that the monkey climbed up a tree and swung away on the vines. Once it was out of sight, Lee looked over at Link. "So, any bright ideas on how we get to this temple everyone keeps talkin' about?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Link responded. "Come on, guys."

Lee put her hands on her hips. "You got no idea, do you?"

Link gave her a tired glance. "Please excuse me for not being used to having other people tag along on my quests," he said, deadpan. "I'll think of something, alright? Let's just _get_ there first."

Lee said nothing, prompting Link to head back through the entrance to the Deku Palace. Edd followed after him, and the others fell into line behind him. Once on the other side, Link looked to his right as the monkey had instructed and saw a narrow path leading to a patch of land pressed against a wall. A ladder led up to a large opening in the wall. Link pointed to it. "That must be it."

The group walked across the wooden planks over to the ladder and climbed up, one after the other. On the other side of the hole, they found themselves staring at an impressive view of the swamp below them. A group of massive trees with great red petals thick enough to stand on formed a set of stepping stones over to a passageway that led inside the mountain in front of them. Situated in the center of each tree was a Deku Flower.

Taking in the scene, Link scratched his chin. "Hmm…this could be a problem."

"Oh, _now_ you tell us!" Marie snapped. "What was that about findin' a way in fer all of us?"

"Hoo! Perhaps I can be of assistance," came a sudden voice from directly above them, causing them all to jump…again.

"GAH! What's with all the freakin' voices comin' outta nowhere?_!_" Eddy screamed in frustration.

A large owl suddenly touched down directly in front of them. "Perhaps that is an incentive for you to pay attention to your surroundings, o short and vocal one."

Everyone blinked in surprise at the massive owl looking down at them. It was as tall as Ed, with long eyebrows and beautiful markings. It regarded them with strangely human-like eyes. "More talking animals," Lee muttered. "Great."

"My name is Kaepora Gaebora," the owl said, though Link had already guessed what his name was, knowing his Hyrulean counterpart. "I came when the spirits in the wind told me of the heroes' coming. I bet you are wondering why the swamp is this way. Well, to put it simply, this swamp has lost its guardian deity, allowing evil to taint this land. But…this swamp was destined to fade anyway."

"What do you mean?" Marie asked, a worried look on her face.

"It is a fate shared by all corners of this world…the end of days when the Heart of Darkness returns."

"Pardon me, sir," Edd interjected with a frown. "But we can't accept that. I _won't _accept it. There has to be a way to change this!"

Kaepora cocked his head to the side. "You would defy destiny and change the fate of this world?"

Edd held the owl's gaze with a determined look. "There are many innocent people in this world. Some haven't even begun to live their lives yet. I am a very caring person, Mr. Kaepora, and my heart goes out to every man, woman, and child in need. I won't let that Skull Kid be their undoing!"

"And neither will I," Marie added, walking up next to Edd. "I may be a little rowdy wild child, but that doesn't mean I won't get off my ass and help people who need it every once in a while. No way am I lettin' some scarecrow with a fancy mask kill everybody, not when _we're_ around!"

"A hero fights for whoever needs protection, Kaepora," Link said, placing one hand against his hip. "I'd never forgive myself if I let millions of people die just because I didn't think it was my business."

"I got forced into it," Eddy complained, earning him a smack upside the head from Lee. "Ow!"

A twinkle appeared in the great owl's eye as he smiled. "Never have I seen such bravery and determination, especially in so young an age. Now, young one with the magical ocarina, I want you to listen very carefully to the song I am about to teach you. It is called the Song of Soaring, which will allow you to travel instantaneously to areas you have visited before by use of a series of statues located all around Termina that bear my resemblance."

Eddy scratched his chin. "Now that ya mention it, I did see a funny-lookin' statue over by the tourist center."

"Indeed. I placed them there a long time ago. Because you have laid eyes on it, you will be able to travel there after the young one in green plays this song. Now listen carefully…"

The owl then lifted his head and hooted a series of notes, repeating them once for emphasis. Link put the ocarina to his lips and played the song, causing the ocarina to sparkle. "Now, when you play the song, immediately afterwards, state the name of the place you wish to go, and you and your friends will be transported to the statue located in that area. But remember, it will only take you to statues you or someone in your group has seen before. It will also be useful in that it will reunite your group if you are separated."

"Cool!" Ed declared.

"Also know that the monster there has taken several other prisoners besides the swamp's guardian deity, including the Deku Princess and a stray fairy from the shattered Great Fairy of Woodfall. You must free the Princess and the fairy before facing the monster himself. Do you understand?"

The kids all nodded, causing the owl to smile again. "I have faith in you all. Good luck, young adventurers!"

Kaepora spread out his vast wings and took to the air, flying over the horizon and soon disappeared from sight. Link turned to Edd and Marie. "Alright guys, you're with me. The rest of you wait here until I find the statue."

As the three of them donned their masks, Eddy commented off to the side, "It just me or does this place get weirder every minute?"

Eddy received no reply as Link, Edd, and Marie used the Deku flowers to get over to the other side, where a cave appeared in the mountainside against a ledge. They walked in and found themselves staring at a lake of poison water with various dead plants poking out of the water's surface. Directly in front of them was a wooden path that led up to a wooden platform. Sitting atop the platform was a statue that looked just like Kaepora. "There's the Woodfall statue!" Tatl pointed.

The kids broke into a sprint and reached the platform. In addition to the statue, there was a raised platform with a picture of a Deku and a Deku Flower sitting next to it. Link pulled out the Ocarina of Time, which turned into the Deku Pipes, and played the Song of Soaring before stating clearly, "Woodfall!"

As they were already at the statue, nothing happened to them, but a white ball of light appeared over the horizon and zipped over to them before expanding into nothingness, revealing four very startled and irate Eds and Kankers. "Whoa! What the heck just happened?" May cried, looking around.

"That was cool!" Ed yelled.

"Jeez, give us a warnin' next time, will ya?_!_" Eddy shouted irritably.

"Sorry," Link muttered sheepishly.

Lee looked around. "I don't see this temple anywhere."

"I think I know how to get in," Link replied, stepping onto the little altar with the Deku picture. "Now how did that song go? Oh! Right!"

Link then played the Sonata of Awakening. For a second, nothing happened. Before Eddy could comment on the lack of action, he was silenced by a low rumbling. The water's surface started to ripple before breaking as a vast shape rose up to meet them. The ground shook slightly, causing everyone to hold onto something to steady themselves as Woodfall Temple revealed itself to the adventurers. A few seconds later, silence dominated as they looked upon the temple.

"Intriguing," Edd stated in fascination. "It bears a striking resemblance to Mayan designs. I wonder how a song was able to raise it from the depths…"

"Who cares?" Eddy declared, throwing up his hands. "How do we get in?"

Link scratched his chin as he looked from his companions to the Deku Flower as a plan formulated in his head. "I think…I have an idea."

"We're listening," Edd assured.

Link turned over to Ed and Eddy. "You two, you're with me. I'm gonna get into that Deku Flower, and I want Ed to stand just behind it with Eddy on his shoulders. When I jump out, I want Eddy to grab onto me. I'll get us to the other side. Lee, May, do the same with Marie."

"Right-o, Link!" Ed declared, whisking Eddy into his arms and placing him on his shoulders.

"_My name's Li_—oh…wait, that's what you said," Link muttered. "Right, then."

Link walked over to the flower and burrowed inside. "You guys ready?" he asked, his voice muffled slightly.

"Whenever you are, Scarecrow," Eddy replied.

Link sighed. "Can't win 'em all."

The young hero then popped out of the ground with a pair of flowers in his hands, just high enough for Eddy to reach. The con artist grabbed hold of Link's legs and lifted off with him. "Wheeeeeeee!" Ed cried as Link carried them over to the temple entrance.

Assured that the boys were alright, Marie turned to her sisters. "Alright, you dweebs. You ready?"

"Just shut yer face and get in, Marie," Lee snapped impatiently.

Shooting a death glare at Lee, Marie burrowed into the flower while May climbed up on Lee's shoulders and grabbed Marie's legs as she popped out of the flower. Marie gritted her currently-nonexistent teeth as she felt the combined weight of her sisters pulling at her short legs. "Holy _crap_, guys! Lose some weight!"

"Say that again and I'll give ya a fat lip!" Lee retorted angrily, tightening her grip on Marie's ankles.

"Hey, I ain't fat!" May protested.

Link, Ed, and Eddy watched the sisters bicker as they approached. "Man," Link commented. "And I thought _Zelda_ was a tomboy."

The Kankers touched down next to the Eds, and everyone patiently waited for Edd to follow them over. Once he was over, Link took off his mask, prompting Edd and Marie to do the same. Once his mask was off, Link glanced at his companions. "Be ready, guys. Temples are often filled with monsters and traps."

The Kankers drew their swords with eager grins, while Ed smacked his stick against his palm surprisingly ominously, Eddy put his hands near his bomb bag as though it were a six-shooter, and Edd brought out his lantern, which he had discovered could disappear and reappear whenever he needed it. Another thing he fully intended to research, if he survived the whole thing.

"Let's go," Link said with finality, leading the way into Woodfall Temple.

The inside was fairly dark, but a number of torches located throughout the room, as well as Edd's torch, shed enough light for them to see the stone bridge stretching out ahead of them that led to a door on the other side of the room. There was a large gap in the middle of the bridge. However, a floating platform moved lazily left and right in the center of the gap. A platform shaped roughly like Majora's Mask sat in front of them. Below the bridge was a dark pit that immediately unsettled Edd. Eddy, however, not one to let fear get a hold of him, boldly walked forward. "Ha! What a cakewalk!"

Link nonchalantly grabbed him by his collar and pulled him back. "Hey!"

"Get back here before you kill yourself," Link stated in a condescending tone. "If you'd pay attention to your surroundings, you'd notice what's in front of you."

"What the heck're you talkin' about?_!_"

Link pointed towards the ceiling, drawing everyone's attention upward to where Link was pointing. Something was suspended in the air above the gap in the bridge. It was mostly hidden by the shadows, but whatever it was, it was large and white. "Tatl, go see what it is," Link advised.

Tatl flew up towards the strange thing and exposed it to her light, revealing it to be the biggest spider the Eds and Kankers had ever seen. Its carapace resembled a large skull, its black head sporting four pairs of glowing red eyes. Its segmented yellow and black legs twitched idly. It was suspended in the air by a strand of silk positioned strategically over the gap so that avoiding it was impossible. The creature predictably ignored Tatl. "Good lord!" Edd cried in fascination, wanting desperately to observe it at a closer distance. "What an intriguing specimen! A whole new species of arachnid! The biggest I've ever seen! A marvel of the natural world!"

"Dude, it's just a skulltula," Tatl said, looking down at Edd with an unimpressed stare. "And I'm pretty sure you'll change your tune when it's trying to _tear out your throat_."

Edd's eyes went wide as saucers as he rubbed his neck. "Oh my…"

Tatl flew back down to Link's head. "So, what's your plan, Mr. Hero?"

Link sighed. "If only I had a bow."

"I don't see the harm in it," Edd said defensively. "Spiders are quite shy around people!"

"Except spiders big enough to _eat_ people," Link replied. "You're just as much potential prey to a skulltula as a fly is to a regular spider. Now, how do we get _rid_ of it?"

"I got it!" Ed declared, bringing out a Deku Nut and throwing it up into the air.

"_Now_ what's he doin'?" Eddy muttered before Ed answered for him, swinging his Deku stick like a bat and smacking the nut like a baseball, propelling it towards the unsuspecting skulltula.

It impacted the skulltula's carapace with devastating force, emitting a bright flash of light. The combination of light and pain was enough to knock the creature off its web and send it tumbling into the chasm below. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Edd said, "Ed, that was…actually rather clever."

"Onward, fellow adventurers!" Ed yelled happily, laughing giddily as he continued on, easily jumping across the gap by utilizing the moving center platform.

Shrugging, the rest followed him and timed their jumps so they could use the moving platform, reuniting by the door. Link shoved the door open and walked through, and the group took in the sight before them. This room was far more expansive than the previous one, and far better-lit to boot. A large pool of poison water bubbled below them. A wooden slope led down from their left to a platform on the ground floor that led to another door. Another slope led to a door lower down on their right. In the middle of the pool was a large wooden structure resembling a flower with an unlit torch set in the middle. A long ledge at their level, but currently inaccessible had yet another door. Briefly taking in the situation, Link glanced at his companions. "Alright, I think we should split up."

Before any of the Eds could speak, each of them found their respective Kanker's arm wrapped around their shoulders. "Wherever our men're goin', we're goin' too!" Lee said with a grim smile as Eddy started struggling.

"Girl germs! Someone save Ed!" Ed yelled as he struggled against May.

"Oh, it'll be so fun!" May cried jubilantly, hugging Ed.

"Alright, then," Link said. "Double D and Marie will go to the left room, Ed and May will go to the right room, and the rest of you will help me with that machine down there."

"I object!" Eddy screamed.

"Too bad," Link answered.

"Overruled, dreamboat!" Lee grinned.

"_Whyyyyyyyyyy_?"

"C'mon, Big Ed!" May ushered excitedly, grabbing Ed by the arm. "Let's go!"

Ed only whined in response as he was dragged off by May. "Come on, you," Marie said, nudging Edd to get his attention.

Saying nothing, Edd followed her down the left ramp over to the door and opened it for her. He had to admit, he was starting to become more comfortable with her presence. That left Link, Tatl, Eddy, and Lee to comprehend the function of the currently inactive wooden machine.

XXXXXX

Ed was still being dragged by May when they entered the room. Neither of them noticed the door slam shut behind them, blocked by iron bars. "Girl germs!" Ed yelled again.

"Oh, c'mon, Ed!" May said. "This'll be fun! Just you n' me 'n a whole big adventure! Just like in that movie _Pirates of the Mediterranean_!"

Ed suddenly stopped struggling. "_Pirates of the Mediterranean_? You like that movie?"

"You kiddin'?_!_ I _love_ that movie!" May answered with a bright smile, but her face fell a little. "But…my sisters make fun of me for likin' it."

Ed blinked and frowned dejectedly. "My baby sister makes fun of me for liking it too."

"Sarah?"

Ed nodded.

"Why do sisters have to be jerks so much?"

Ed shrugged. And that was when they heard a low hiss coming from behind. They turned around to see a tall humanoid lizard advancing on them. Its scales were a dark green, and it was clad in shiny armor plating around its shoulders and chest. In its clawed hand was a Deku stick with a curved blade attached to the end. In a show of intimidation, the Dinolfos reared its head and unleashed a burst of flame from its mouth, then snapped at the children.

"Fire-breathing lizard monster!" screamed Ed. "What do we do?_!_"

May pointed her sword at the Dinolfos and glared at the beast. "Ya wanna piece of me?" she threatened it. "I'll give ya an old-fashined butt-whoopin', _Kanker style_!"

The Dinolfos chuckled in response before slashing at her. May blocked it and retaliated with a thrust. The Dinolfos jumped back and slashed at her again. May blocked it, pressing her sword against its blade in a contest of strength. Both of them were pretty strong, but the Dinolfos seemed to realize its opportune moment for a finishing blow as it prepared its fire breath. Realizing what it was about to do, May yelled, "Ed! Help me out!"

Ed swallowed his fear and ran over to the dueling foes, cracking the Dinolfos over the head with his Deku stick. Disoriented, the Dinolfos stumbled back and shook its head. Glaring at Ed as its bearings returned, the creature spat more flames at Ed, who dove out of the way with a yelp. The Dinolfos stalked after him, wishing to exact revenge for its headache. "Hey, leave my man alone, ya big dumb lizard!" May screamed, charging at the Dinolfos.

The Dinolfos parried her blow and swiped its tail at her legs, knocking her off her feet. She landed on the wet ground with a pained grunt. Shaking her head, she tried to pick up her sword, but the monster stamped down on the blade, pinning it against the ground. The Dinolfos sneered, showing rows of jagged, yellow teeth as it raised its weapon. Unable to defend herself, May did the only thing left she could do.

She squeezed her eyes shut and screamed in terror.

Suddenly she heard Ed yell, "Release the maiden, foul beast!"

A crack was heard as a flash of light pounded against her eyelids. May opened her eyes to see the Dinolfos screeching in anger as it covered its eyes. Ed had blinded it with a Deku nut. "Now, May!" Ed yelled.

Seizing the opportunity, May slashed at the Dinolfos's neck, beheading it in a shower of blue blood. The dead creature dropped to the floor and moved no more. May and Ed looked at the dead Dinolfos. "Hey, we defeated it!" Ed said with a relieved grin.

"I know! That was so cool!" May agreed.

"Totally!"

The two of them looked at each other before breaking out into wide, childish grins. "Omigosh, really?" May cried.

"Yeah! It was _awesome_! You are awesome!"

"_You_ were awesome too, Big Ed! The way you saved me from that monster…"

May's smile softened as she folded her hands behind her back sheepishly. "…thank you, Ed. Doing that…it meant a lot from you."

Ed was speechless, not just from how May was thanking him, but how he felt about it. It was odd. It wasn't like the fear he had held towards her only minutes ago. He felt…sheepish. Blushing slightly, Ed scratched the back of his neck and looked to the side. "Um…uh…it was nothing…all in a day's work for Ed the Monster Hunter!"

The two of them suddenly heard a rustling noise and tensed. They looked over at the Dinolfos's corpse and saw something wriggling out of a satchel at its side. May pointed her sword at it and cautiously stepped towards it. There was a muffled noise coming from inside the satchel. Glancing towards Ed for reassurance, May slowly stretched her hand towards the pouch and undid the button.

She didn't even have time to withdraw her hand before something popped out of the satchel and flew into the air. May yelped as she fell back and landed on her behind. The creature looked like a glowing magenta imp with squinted eyes, big lips, and insect-like wings on its head. "Whew! I thought I'd have to put up with that Dinolfos's stink forever!" she said before noticing her gaping rescuers. "Were you the ones who saved me?"

May's eyes suddenly lit up in realization. "Wait a sec…You're the little fairy that owl talked about bein' a prisoner in here, aren't ya?"

"Yes, I'm the Stray Fairy of the Great Fairy of Power who resides in this swamp. That little stinker Skull Kid broke my body into pieces identical to me and took one of us as a prisoner for his goons."

"Well, we're here to rescue you!" May answered, sheathing her sword. "And get this swamp back to normal while we're at it!"

"I don't know if you noticed, but that Dinolfos was guarding a chest over there," the fairy pointed. "I think it has something that'll help you get through this place."

The minute Ed laid eyes on the treasure chest at the far end of the room, he yelled excitedly, "_Treasure_!"

Ed ran over to it and practically threw it open, his eyes sparkling in anticipation. His face fell in confusion as he took out a rather large gold key with a ruby jewel set into its bow. Two horns protruded from the bow and curved inward, giving the appearance of devil horns. "A key?" Ed asked.

The stray fairy flew over to Ed. "Not just _any_ key," she said. "That's the Big Key! That's the key to the room where the monster controlling the evil in this temple is residing!"

"That sounds important, Big Ed!" May advised. "Better hold onto it!"

Ed put the Big Key in the pocket of his jacket. "C'mon, let's go meet up with Link," May said. "Maybe we can find some more monsters to smash!"

Ed grinned. "Right behind ya!"

XXXXXX

Edd and Marie, being far more clever and conscious of their surroundings, immediately noticed the door slam shut with iron bars over it. "What the?" Marie cried, running over and pulling on the bars. "Ah, crap! Must've been one 'o the traps Link was talkin' about."

"Oh dear!" Edd cried, fidgeting nervously. "What should we—"

Edd was surprised by a figure jumping down from above and landing in front of them. A Dinolfos. The creature blew flames from its mouth in a gesture of defiance and brandished its hand axe. "GAH! What _is_ that?_!_" Edd yelped, hiding behind Marie.

"Something we gotta kill_ fast_," Marie answered without taking her eyes off the advancing Dinolfos. "I'll distract 'im. I want you to try and get 'im with your lantern from behind."

"But Marie…!"

Yelling a fierce battle cry, Marie charged at the Dinolfos, sword raised. Marie and the Dinolfos's weapons clashed in a shower of sparks. Marie then grabbed the monster by the arm and flung it over her shoulders. The creature crashed to the ground and scrambled back to its feet in surprise at its enemy's strength.

The Dinolfos lowered its head and unleashed its fire breath at Marie. Cursing, Marie jumped back to avoid the fire, and could feel the heat of the flames on her bare arms. Suddenly a burst of purple flames collided with the Dinolfos's flame, surprising the Dinolfos. The monster turned towards Edd, who was sucking in his breath for another volley, sweating profusely from his fear and determination. "Leave her _alone_, you serpentine abomination," he growled with the deadliest voice Marie had ever heard him use.

Snarling, the beast belched more flames Edd's way, who countered with the Poe's Lantern. Orange and purple flames collided, casting vibrant blazes of light across the room in a spectacular display of dueling flames. Marie had to cover her eyes more than once due to the brightness.

The monster ran out of breath, but didn't give Edd a chance to regain his, instead leaping forward and knocking him to the ground. "Double D!" Marie shrieked, running towards them. "Get yer filthy claws offa my man!"

The Dinolfos turned its head and raised its sword hand to block Marie's downward slash. However, doing so distracted it enough to where Edd wrenched his lantern out from under its foot and threw his small bulk into its other leg, knocking the creature to the floor. The Dinolfos shrieked in agitation as it tried to get back on its feet. It was able to stand on its two feet again just before Marie's sword was stabbed through it bottom jaw all the way through its head. As Marie yanked her sword out of the Dinolfos's skull, the beast fell forward and collapsed in a dead heap.

Edd and Marie both breathed a sigh of relief. "We…we make…a helluva…team…don't we, Double D?" Marie panted with a tired smile.

Edd smiled as well as he caught his breath. "Indeed."

"Hey…Double D?"

"…Um…yes, Marie?"

"What you did there…that was pretty awesome."

"Uh…eh heh…well…"

"Double D?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and accept my thanks."

Slowly, Marie leaned her face in close to Edd, who was unsure of whether he should back away or not. All rational thought then melted away in his mind as Marie's lips gently pressed against his. It was unlike anything Edd had ever felt before, especially about one of Marie's kisses. Wordlessly, he closed his eyes and began working his mouth against hers, the both of them caught in a moment of eternal bliss.

All too soon, Marie drew back and left Edd standing there, wanting more. Marie giggled mischievously. "You know, you're a good kisser when ya get into it, Double D."

Suddenly both their attentions were grabbed by a shimmering noise behind them. At the far end of the room, a treasure chest materialized out of thin air. After gawking at the wooden box for a moment, Edd muttered, "Should I even bother contemplating how on earth that just happened?"

The bars on the door suddenly lifted as well. Edd started walking towards it, but Marie stopped him. "Wait! Let's check out what's in that chest!"

Edd turned around and eyed it cautiously. "Are you sure, Marie? It came literally out of thin air. Who knows what's in it?"

"Won't know if we don't check, doofus," Marie replied with a smirk as she walked over to the chest.

Edd just stood there as she undid the latch and lifted the lid, peering inside. "Oh! Cool!" she cried, reaching in.

"What is it?" Edd queried.

Marie turned around and held out what she had found. "It's a bow!" she responded.

It was a small bow, perfect for someone their age. It was carved out of polished wood, with gold twining around the grip. In Marie's other hand was a quiver with thirty white-feathered arrows ready for use. Grinning like she had just opened a Christmas present, she attached the bow to a small strap on the quiver's side which allowed her to carry it strung and slung the quiver over her shoulder, fitting the straps around her body. Once she was finished, she held out her arms. "Well? How do I look?" she asked.

"…Dashing."

"C'mon, let's go meet up with Link n' see what the others're up to."

XXXXXX

Ed and May reentered the main room the same time Edd and Marie did. The goofy smiles on their faces did not go unnoticed by Eddy and Lee, who looked over from where they stood by the machine by the water's edge at their smitten companions. "Hey May, what's gotten into ya?" Lee demanded.

"Ed n' I were just havin' some fun!" May answered. "We found the stray fairy too!"

The stray fairy flitted up from behind Ed and hovered over their heads. "Hi."

"…That's the weirdest-lookin' fairy I've ever seen."

"Hey Double D! Why the heck're ya lookin' like that?" Eddy demanded. "Wait a sec…_is that lipstick on yer lips_?_!_"

Edd instinctively touched his lips, realizing Marie's lipstick was on them. "Oh, uh…I…yes…yes it is, Eddy."

Eddy's mouth hung open for a second before he exploded, "Did you just make out with _Marie freakin' Kanker_?_!_"

"Yeah!" Marie answered angrily. "Ya got a problem with it?"

Eddy whipped his head in Ed's direction. "Ed! What's going on with you?_!_"

"May likes my movies, Eddy!" Ed replied with a large grin as he and May put their arms around each other's shoulders.

Lee grinned enthusiastically. "You go, girls!"

Eddy turned his nose up haughtily. "I can't _believe_ you guys."

Link looked down at the others from where he was standing on top of the machine. "As much as I find it adorable that love is in the air, we have work to do," he stated flatly.

"Hey guys! Look what I found!" Marie said, showing off her bow and arrows.

"A bow?" Lee asked for clarification.

Link's head shot up. "A bow?" He turned his head up towards the door they had originally entered from and saw the lit torch situated in front of it. "A bow! Of course!"

Link looked down at Marie. "Marie! Stand in front of that torch up there and shoot an arrow through the flame at this torch right here!"

"What for?" Marie asked, confused.

"Just do it. Trust me on this!"

Marie shrugged and walked up to the torch and readied her new weapon. Fitting an arrow on the string, she aimed it through the flame towards the unlit torch on the machine. Link stood up and got out of the way as she fired. The arrow passed through the flame, the tip catching fire as it struck the unlit torch. The torch suddenly blazed to life, causing the machine to shudder. Surprised, Link flailed his arms about before falling on his behind.

The machine began to rise up out of the water. The folded petals unfurled as the machine began turning. To everyone's surprise, the machine began churning the poison out of the water. "We did it!" Edd cried. "This must have been what was allowing the water to get poisoned! Now that this machine is operational again, the swamp should start returning to normal!"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet," Link called out from where he was on top of the slowly-spinning machine. "We still have to rescue the princess and kill the monster that captured her."

Link looked around the machine. "Guys, get up here! We can reach the next room now!"

The kids walked back up to the entrance and waited until one of the petals passed them before jumping on. Once they were all accounted for, Link pointed over to their next destination. They used the machine to get over to the ledge and opened the door. On the other side was a hallway that led to a large door with a large gold lock and chains over it. "The Boss Door," Link said. "We need the Big Key to get in."

"I got it!" Ed proclaimed, fishing the Big Key out of his pocket.

"Ah, good, let's go then!"

The kids ran over to the door and Ed stuck the Big Key in the lock and turned it. The door slid open. "Alright guys," Link said, sucking in his breath. "Let's beat this boss."

14


	17. Masked Jungle Warrior

**Derp. Short chapter is short. Oh well. Enough action for one chapter.**

**XXXXXX000XXXXXXX**

**Chapter Seventeen: Masked Jungle Warrior**

****(Second Day, 3:20 pm, 38 hours, 40 minutes remain)

They found themselves in a wide, circular room that was ornately designed, with gaudy tribal designs along the floor and walls. A yellow Deku flower sat in the very middle of the room. May, Lee, and Link had their swords out, Ed had his stick in one hand and a Deku Nut in the other, Eddy had his hand positioned near his bomb bag, Edd gripped his Poe's Lantern tightly, and Marie readied her bow. After several seconds of heavy silence, Link commented warily, "It's quiet. Too quiet."

"Hello? Echo! My name is Ed!" Ed yelled to try and break the silence.

"_Ed, shut up_!" everyone simultaneously hissed, several hands clamping over Ed's mouth in unison.

However, the damage was done. Something else shattered the silence, a steady drumbeat echoing throughout the chamber. Everyone frantically looked around for the source of the noise. Suddenly a whooshing noise exploded above them as a huge figure descended from the ceiling and landed on top of the Deku flower, flattening it. The figure stood up and revealed itself to be a twenty-foot-tall giant with green skin and tribal war paint all over his body. His face was concealed by a mask with matching war paint and an open mouth that made it took as though it were growling. Three striped ribbons stood erect over the warrior's head. In its hands were a sword and shield bigger than the kids themselves.

The Masked Jungle Warrior, Odolwa, slashed the air around him in an effort to intimidate the kids. Eddy's voice came out in a barely-audible squeak. "What do we do _now_?"

"We _fight_ it," Link answered with determination.

"F-f-fight_ that_?_!_" Eddy squealed, pointing at Odolwa. "Are you _crazy_?_!_"

"Alright guys," Link said. "That thing's sword is big enough to cut every one of you in half. I'm the only one with a shield. I'm going to distract him. Eddy, try to hit him with your bombs. Marie, hit him with your arrows. The rest of you…try not to get killed."

"Odolwa! Odolwa!" Odolwa started chanting as he awaited a challenger.

"Alright, let's do this!" Link yelled, charging forward. "Come on, tall, dark and ugly! Go for me!"

Odolwa focused on him and swung his sword at Link, who blocked it with his shield. It was amazing he was able to remain on his feet after taking such a blow. Odolwa swung at him again, but Link's shield held. Odolwa then tried to kick Link, but he jumped to the side and dug his sword into Odolwa's leg. The warrior cried out in pain and leapt into the air, landing in the middle of the arena. The monster then began dancing in place, slamming his uninjured foot into the ground. Suddenly several large blue bugs descended from the ceiling and started going after the kids.

"Gah! Get away from me!" Eddy yelled, pulling out a bomb and throwing it towards the bugs.

To everyone's surprise, the bugs turned their attention towards the bomb and began crawling towards the lit fuse. The bomb promptly exploded, sending bits of insect all over the place. "Ah, crap!" Lee yelled angrily. "It's all over my hair!"

"You're worryin' about yer hair at a time like _this_?_!_" Eddy yelled, nervously advancing towards the distracted Odolwa.

As Link continued to battle Odolwa, Marie snuck towards them, aiming her bow at the monster. Odolwa suddenly took a deep breath and spewed a large host of moths out of his mouth. "What the?_!_" Link said.

"Flesh-eating moths!" Tatl cried. "They're just like any other bug, they're attracted to light! Eddy, light one of your bombs!"

Eddy withdrew another bomb and tossed it towards the moths, which were closing in on Link. Seeing the light of the fuse, the moths abandoned their target and converged around the flame. The explosion killed them all instantly.

But Odolwa had one more trick up his sleeve. Chanting his name again, a ring of fire suddenly enveloped Link, trapping him behind a wall of flames. With a wave of his sword, the wall of flames began compacting, and Link was caught in the middle. Suddenly Odolwa let out a cry of surprise as an arrow struck his shoulder, distracting him. The flames instantly died down.

Odolwa glared menacingly at Marie and advanced towards her, sword raised. He was unprepared for the bomb that rolled under his feet until it was too late. Odolwa's right leg vanished in the ensuing explosion, sending him tumbling to the ground.

But Odolwa was persistent. Even in his agony he crawled after his enemies, spewing more moths out of his mouth. Eddy lit another bomb to distract them as Link readied himself for the killing blow. Link tried to get close to him, but Odolwa swung his sword to ward him off.

More moths flew out of his mouth. This time they went straight for Eddy, who yelped in fear and lit another bomb, dropping it before running off. They could tell Odolwa was getting desperate. Edd and the Kankers all ran behind Odolwa to avoid his reach. Edd blew flames at the crippled monster, stunning him. The Kankers then jumped on his back and began stabbing everything in reach. Marie in particular crawled up to his neck and drove her sword through the back of his head.

A strained gurgle escaped Odolwa's throat before he went still. Everyone backed away from the monster's corpse as it was engulfed in blue flames. Odolwa's mask was all that remained of the jungle warrior. For several moments, silence reigned as everyone stared at Odolwa's remains.

"Whoo-hoo! That was freakin' awesome!" Eddy suddenly shouted, pumping his fist excitedly into the air. "I've never had so much fun in my life!"

"Hey, Eddy," Lee said, her voice unusually soft.

Eddy gaped at her. He had never heard her speak to him like that. "Uh…what?"

"You were pretty cool out there, little man. I'm proud of ya."

For once, Eddy couldn't think of anything to say. Lee Kanker had actually complimented him. What was this world coming to? Meanwhile, Link walked over to Odolwa's remains and picked up the mask. "So Odolwa was wearing a mask too?" Link murmered.

Suddenly a bright light engulfed all of them, startling the group. Before they knew it, they found themselves in a weird place, standing on a platform surrounded by green water and stone pillars. A light green-tinted mist hung around them. "What the heck just happened?" Eddy exclaimed. "Where are we?"

Suddenly they heard an odd and rather loud noise reverberate in their ears. It sounded like a trumpet call lowered in pitch. "What could be causing such a noise?" Edd asked, rubbing his ear.

Tatl suddenly gasped. "G-guys! Look!"

Everyone looked at where she was pointing and were met by a pair of ridiculously large legs standing a fair distance away from them. The owner's body was obscured by the mist. The rumbling continued. "It sounds like he's trying to say something!" Tatl explained. "He says..."

Tatl's next words came out slowly as she tried to discern the giant's speech pattern. "Call…us…call…us…with…this….song. Call us with this song!"

"What song?" Lee asked.

In answer, the giant began to sing. Link followed along on his ocarina until the giant finished, causing the ocarina to sparkle again. The giant then spoke once more, while Tatl translated. "He says…the name…is…Oath…to…Order…The song is called the Oath to Order!"

"I get it," Link replied in understanding. "When the rest of you are freed, I'll play this song, and then you'll come! Got it!"

Suddenly the scenery began to fade out, and the giant disappeared into a field of white. The next thing they knew, they found themselves back inside Woodfall Temple. However, none of them recognized this room. "Huh?" Eddy stated. "We're back inside the temple?"

"Hello?"

"And there comes the voice out of nowhere again," Eddy grumbled.

Everybody turned around to see a hollowed out tree trunk with thick vines acting like prison bars over the entrance. On the other side, a young female Deku with ornate makeup and leaves gripped the bars of her makeshift cell. "Are you here to save me?"

"The Deku Princess!" Edd exclaimed. "We found her!"

"Everybody stand back!" Link ordered, drawing his sword.

Once everyone was out of the way, Link slashed at the vines, easily cutting through them. Link and Edd both kneeled before the Deku Princess out of respect. The others just stood there, oblivious to royal manners. "My brave rescuers," the princess said. "May I have your names?"

"I'm Link, Your Majesty."

"I'm Double D, Your Highness."

"Eddy McGee, adventurer extraordinaire!" Eddy boasted proudly, puffing out his chest.

"Yeah, you wish," Lee retorted with a snort. "I'm Lee Kanker, by the way."

"I'm May Kanker! Pleased ta meet'cha, Yer Highness!"

"I'm Tatl."

"I am Lothar, destroyer of evil!" Ed cried.

"Dang it, Ed!" Eddy snapped. "Cut it out with your Lothar stuff!"

"And I'm Marie Kanker. Excuse my sisters and their men. They can be a little crass at times."

"Don't worry. I'm not bothered by that. Were you, by chance, sent to rescue me by that monkey?"

"Yes, yes we were!" Link answered.

"Ha! I knew it!" the princess responded excitedly, approaching them. "You see, your bodies smell a little bit like monkey."

"Does it wash off?" Lee asked with dread, sniffing her hair warily.

The princess giggled. "We Deku have a better sense of smell than people do. You wouldn't even notice it."

This did not comfort Lee very much. The princess began walking towards the exit and stopped to giggle again. "It's a good thing that monkey didn't get in trouble! Father does such rash things when he's worried."

She didn't notice the others seize up behind her. "I was worried he'd go so far as to punish the poor monkey! Ho-ho-ho!"

"Umm…about that…princess," Edd spoke up rather timidly.

The princess went rigid for a moment before spinning around and staring at Edd, her eyes slowly widening in horror. "Wait…don't tell me…"

Edd only nodded.

"…_Are you SERIOUS_?_!_"

The princess's shrill voice made everybody cover their ears and wince. The princess hung her head low and began shaking in anger. "Yet another hasty decision, father…" he hissed under her breath before turning her attention towards the assembled kids. "W-well, we've got no time to lose! We must hurry back to the palace with all due haste!"

5


	18. Reunions

**EDIT: Oops, I was a silly filly and forgot to include an important part of this chapter in my last update. Here it is now, the restoration of the Great Fairy of Woodfall! XD**

**XXXXXXX000XXXXXXX**

**Chapter Eighteen: Reunions**

(Second Day, 5:10 pm, 37 hours, 50 minutes remain)

As time passed, it seemed that the Deku were becoming even more riled as they prepared the monkey for his ultimate fate. The poor animal was strung upside down over a large pot of boiling water he was soon to be lowered into. He had long since given up struggling, there was no point to it. Even if he did somehow break free, there were way too many Deku in the room for him to avoid. The King was barking orders nearby. The monkey gulped as he looked at the steaming vat below him, feeling the heat.

Hours had passed since the visitors had promised to save the princess and return, and his heart was starting to sink. Did they succeed? Or had the monster already killed them? Suddenly he heard the King's voice order silence, quieting his antsy subjects. "Lower him into the pot!" the king ordered, pointing his scepter at the monkey.

The Deku began lowering the rope, causing the monkey to begin panicking. His head was getting closer to the boiling hot water when a voice suddenly cut through the tension. "Cease this barbaric display at once!" yelled the voice of Edd.

Everyone looked towards the entrance to the throne room, but due to the crowded bodies already inside, it was hard to tell who was jostling their way through the crowd. "What is going on?" the Deku King demanded angrily. "Who dares interrupt a royal decree?"

Soon the interlopers managed to break through to the king's throne, where his furious gaze centered on them. "You three! What is the meaning of this?_!_" he roared at Edd, Marie, and Link in Deku form.

A collective gasp suddenly echoed throughout the room as the Deku princess appeared next to them.

And she did _not_ look happy.

Her father, oblivious to this, raised his hands in realization. "Ah! My darling, beautiful daughter! You're safe!"

Unable to contain her rage any longer, the princess began shaking furiously, her eyes narrowed. "Huh-hhuuhhh-fff! Foolish father!" she screamed, pouncing forward and pinning the king against the ground.

To everyone's shock, she began jumping up and down on the king's chest several times before whirling around and pointing murderously at the frightened Deku, who finally realized they had screwed up. "_What_ are you _doing_?_!_ _Let that monkey go THIS INSTANT_!"

"Y-yes, princess!"

"Right away, p-princess!"

The Deku scrambled to get the monkey free of his bonds. A few moments later, the monkey found himself upright and untied, rubbing his arms as his rescuers came up alongside the princess. "Mr. Monkey, I am so sorry for the way my father has treated you," the princess apologized earnestly. "He always acts rashly whenever he's worried about me."

The monkey waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about that, princess. I understand perfectly. Has the swamp been returned to normal?"

"Yes it has, thanks to these kind people," the princess answered, gesturing towards the kids.

The monkey smiled at them. "Heh. I knew I could trust you, and I don't even know your names."

"I'm Double D, and this is Marie and Link," Edd spoke up politely, gesturing to his companions.

The monkey nodded his head to each of them. "Thank you for keeping your promise to me. Because of you, the Deku and the monkeys can start getting along again."

"No problem," Link replied.

Suddenly they heard the voice of the king behind them. "Hasty decision-making is my weakness. Now more than ever, it has become clear to me. Monkey, can you forgive a foolish old man?"

The monkey smiled and bowed. "Of course, Your Majesty."

The king then focused on the three kids and Tatl. "And all of you, I cannot thank you enough for saving my daughter. There is little I can do to repay you. Won't you rest awhile here after your ordeal?"

"We'd like that very much, Your Majesty," Link replied. "But we have other friends who helped us through it, and we would like it if they received lodging too for the night."

"Of course. I will have it arranged."

XXXXXX

That night, the seven kids and fairy slept peacefully in the Deku Palace. Edd had felt the residual urge to label everything around his room before sleeping, but first of all, he didn't have his labeler with him. Second of all, Ed and Eddy had helped him kick the habit over a year ago so they wouldn't have to peel them off the walls when he stayed over at their houses. He was now less antsy about sleeping in a label-free environment.

Everyone slept in separate rooms, and Eddy made sure to lock his before going to sleep so Lee wouldn't try any funny business in the middle of the night. Edd tossed and turned, finding it a little difficult to sleep considering his blanket was a huge leaf, which he had to admit was a little scratchy against his skin. He sighed and turned over on his side.

_Knock knock knock_.

Edd jumped a little before sitting up in his bed. "Hello?" Edd asked quietly.

The door gingerly opened, and Edd saw Marie's silhouette leaning against the door. Edd couldn't see her face, but her voice cracked as she spoke, as if she were crying. "Double D?"

"Marie?" Edd asked, standing up in worry.

"Um…Double D…Do you mind if I…sleep with you tonight?"

Edd had a feeling she had had another nightmare, and he felt compelled to help her. "No, I don't mind," Edd replied, slightly surprised by how even his voice sounded.

Marie sniffed as she slipped into Edd's room and gently shut the door behind her, walking over to Edd's bed and slipping under the cover alongside him. Sighing contentedly, Marie snuggled up close to Edd, draping an arm over his chest and nuzzling her head against his shoulder. Within moments she was asleep, her body warm against his. Edd sighed again and decided he could get used to this before finally falling asleep as well.

XXXXXX

(Third Day, 8:32 am, 21 hours, 28 minutes remain)

"Aw, look at that, ain't that sweet?"

The voice sounded distant and muffled, and Edd, in his sleepy haze, couldn't identify who was speaking.

"Freakin' disgusting, if ya ask me."

"I didn't ask ya, did I, dreamboat?"

Edd slowly opened his eyes and was greeted to the sight of Lee, May, Ed, and Eddy staring at them. Lee was smirking while Ed and May curiously looked on. Eddy, however, looked appalled and disgusted. Uncomfortable at the collective gaze, Edd shifted uncomfortably, causing Marie to shift a little as well and mumble. "Um…Good morning, friends," Edd greeted with a weak smile.

"_Good morning_?" Eddy snapped. "_How_ is it a good morning? I go to wake you up, and here I find ya _sleepin' with a Kanker_! What the heck is wrong with you, Double D?_!_"

Edd expected this behavior from Eddy. After all, they had spent years together running and hiding from the Kankers, fearing the sloppy kisses and unwanted affection. But that did not anger Edd any less. Edd managed to keep his voice an even tone, but even Eddy was able to detect the biting criticism in it. "Eddy, Marie is indeed a Kanker, and you know what else she is? A woman. A human being with a mind and feelings of her own that is in need of love and affection just like the rest of us. I will not deny that the Kankers have a…unique way of expressing their fondness for us, but that does not make them mindless monsters who crave our flesh and souls."

"But…"

"Don't interrupt me, Eddy." The fact that Edd did not add a please in there did not go unnoticed. "I spent three days alone with Marie, and I got to see a different side of her I had been too ignorant to notice before. She's much more than a Kanker, Eddy. She's my girlfriend, and if you don't approve, then I'm sorry you feel that way, but that is just how it is."

Edd looked over at Ed and May. "And I know I'm not the only one who has made progress, am I right, Ed?"

"Right you are, Double D!" Ed proclaimed, wrapping his arm around May's shoulder, who squealed like a little girl as she grinned foolishly.

Eddy glared at them and folded his arms. "They got me surrounded!" he growled to himself.

"In fact, Eddy," Edd continued, "I fail to see why you continue to resist offering Lee the same chance."

Eddy's reaction face almost made Edd laugh, but he kept his voice steady. "Think about it, Eddy. Both of you are clever planners, even if you do tend to…overlook minor details every so often. You both are the leaders of your corresponding trio. And finally, both of you carry yourselves with a proud and mighty fervor." Edd failed to mention this was a nice way of saying they had huge egos. "You have more in common than you think."

Eddy violently shook his head, his mind refusing to accept such an absurd assumption. "I don't need this," he grunted, turning around and heading towards the door. "I'm gonna go talk to that Link fella."

Eddy slammed the door behind him, causing Marie to stir. Lee stared at Edd for a moment before saying, "Hey Double D. You know what?"

"Yes, Lee?"

"Yer alright. I was wrong about ya, thinkin' ya didn't have any balls. Marie's got a good guy after all."

Edd nodded his head in thanks before looking at Marie, who was sitting up as she rubbed her eyes. "Unnh…Double D?" she murmured.

"Good morning, turtledove," Edd greeted with a warm smile.

Marie returned his smile. "Wow. I'm likin' this day already. You have no idea how badly I've wanted you to call me that."

"Then let this day be the first of many, turtledove," Edd replied affectionately.

Marie playfully smacked him as he removed the covers. "Oh Double D! Stop bein' cheesy!"

It was at that moment she noticed May, Ed, and Lee still standing there. "What're you doin' here?"

"Ah, don't mind us," Lee said, waving her hand. "We were just goin'. Hey May, flathead! Let's go."

Lee walked out the door, followed by Ed and May, leaving Edd and Marie alone again.

XXXXXX

Eddy wandered aimlessly through the halls of the Deku Palace, passing by random Deku as he did so. Link wasn't in his room, so the con artist had no one to talk to. He was considering going back and try knocking some sense into Edd again, but immediately forgot that as he saw Link approaching him with something in his hands. "Hey, Link! What's that ya got in yer hand?" Eddy said.

Link did a double-take, having apparently been lost in thought as he was walking and was also surprised Eddy hadn't used one of his annoying nicknames. "Hey, morning, Eddy. I was just with the Deku Butler, and he gave me this. Apparently it was his son's, who went missing some time ago. According to him, when Double D, Marie, and I were wearing our Deku Masks, we reminded him of his son."

Link held up the item for Eddy to see. It was a mask with a pig's face. "This is apparently called the Mask of Scents," Link explained. "Whoever wears it gains a more acute sense of smell."

"Cool! Can I try it?" Eddy asked eagerly.

"I suppose," Link answered, handing Eddy the mask, who didn't notice Ed coming up behind him.

Eddy stuck the mask over his face and took a deep breath.

"Hiya, Eddy! What's that on your face?"

Eddy began retching and stumbled backward. "Oh, mother of God! Ed, you _reek_!"

"Thanks, Eddy!" Ed beamed, oblivious to what 'reek' meant as Eddy collapsed on the floor, his heightened sense of smell unable to bear Ed's abominable body odor.

Link tried and failed to stop himself from laughing as Eddy twitched on the floor. Lee and May came up behind Ed and saw him. "Do I even wanna know what happened here?" Lee asked rhetorically.

"My answer depends on this," Link replied. "Does Ed ever bathe?"

"Nope!" Ed answered happily. "Baths are for losers, everybody knows that!"

Link's lip curled up in disgust as he discreetly backed away from Ed. "Anyways, where are Double D and Marie?" Link asked.

"Still in their rooms, havin' a moment to themselves," Lee answered.

"Get 'em together. After we leave the palace, we'll take the Stray Fairy to her fountain near the potion shop, and then I'll play the Song of Time and take us back to the First Day."

"Huh? Why?" May inquired.

Suddenly Tatl wriggled out of Link's hat. "Because we don't have enough time to get to the mountains," she answered for Link. "They're all the way on the other side of Termina. We won't have time to get there and free the second giant before three days are up."

Everyone nodded in understanding as Eddy began to stir, pulling the Mask of Scents off his face and groaning. "Ed, somewhere along this little trip of ours, I am _forcing_ you to take a bath."

"Oh no, Eddy!" Ed pleaded. "Please don't! I don't wanna be a loser!"

"Well _I_ don't wanna smell your years-old body odor! No ifs, ands or buts, you _will_ bathe sometime soon!"

Eddy dragged himself to his feet and handed the mask back to Link, who stocked it in his inventory before following Lee and the others down the hallway towards Edd and Marie's room. Once they reached it, Link opened the door and saw Edd and Marie about to walk out themselves. "Ah, salutations, Link," Edd greeted. "I trust you slept well?"

"Well enough," Link replied. "We'd better go. The Deku King wants to see us before we head out. He says he has a gift for us."

"Cool," Marie said. "A present from royalty! You don't get that every day!"

Interested to see what they were going to receive, the Eds and Kankers followed Link and Tatl through the palace and back to the Throne Room, where the Royal Family and the Butler were waiting for them. Everyone remembered to bow before approaching the Deku King. "Rise," the King commanded.

Link, the Eds, and Kankers did so. "As compensation for your heroic actions in saving my daughter and preventing the undeserved execution of an innocent bystander, I have this to give on behalf of the Royal Family." The King nodded to the Butler, who stepped forward and held a package wrapped in large leaves out towards the kids. Link inclined his head towards the Butler before taking the package from the Butler's hands and unwrapping it.

Eddy immediately started drooling as he saw what was in the package; ten Silver Rupees. Edd noticed this and whispered, "Eddy, I think I should hold onto those for now. After all, I'm the only one with zippered pockets. You wouldn't want them to fall out, would you?"

Eddy glared at Edd, but suddenly remembered what had happened last time they time-traveled. "Fine," he grunted.

"We appreciate your gift, Your Majesty," Link thanked. "It will serve us well on our journey."

Link handed Edd the rupees, who obligingly unzipped his pocket and put them in before zipping it shut again. "And now, Your Majesty," Link said. "We must bid you farewell. There are others who are in dire straits and need our help."

The King nodded his head. "I understand. Good luck, strange travelers! May the Four Giants watch over your journey."

The heroes bowed again before turning around and leaving. "Farewell, my friends!" the Princess called out as they left.

Once they had left the palace, Link, Edd, and Marie pulled out their Deku Masks while the Stray Fairy was let out of Link's pack, where she flew alongside Tatl. "Everyone else wait here," Link instructed. "This shouldn't take too long."

And so, following the Stray Fairy, Link, Edd, and Marie lily-hopped back to the pathway to Kotake's shop and proceeded through, finding themselves back at the clearing with the house situated in the center. The Stray Fairy flew past the house towards a cave directly behind the potion shop and waited while her rescuers caught up. They followed her inside and found the Fountain filled with a host of other fairies glowing the same color as their missing brethren. Ecstatic, the Stray Fairy flitted over to her companions and began merging together while Link, Edd, and Marie looked on from the edge of the fountain. One bright flash of light later, a joyous female laugh danced through their ears as the newly-restored Great Fairy emerged. She looked identical to the Great Fairy in Clock Town save for her hair, which was a darker shade of red than her sister's. "Oh, kind young ones," she began with a warm smile. "Thank you for restoring my shattered form and returning this swamp to its former beauty. I can't express my gratitude enough."

"We're glad to help," Link replied with a nod.

"Unfortunately, your work is not done, as I am sure you're aware. My sisters are in a similar state in all four corners of this land. The one responsible for the travesty is falling further into deeper darkness even as we speak."

"Skull Kid," Edd clarified with a frown.

The Great Fairy nodded. "Because of this, even in my restored state, my powers are weakened. Thus, I'm afraid this is all I can provide as a reward for your valor."

"You don't need to do that," Edd began.

"I insist, young Eddward," the Fairy replied. "There is no need for humility when you need all the help you can get in saving this world."

Edd shut his mouth as the Great Fairy held her hands together, forming a ball of red light. Suddenly she spread her arms out, and the light faded into a shield-shaped object. It was a mask, mostly white but with red designs on its face. Its most prominent feature was an eye-and-teardrop symbol. Link recognized it immediately as he grabbed it. "Is that…?"

"Yes, young Link," the Fairy answered, knowing what he was about to ask. "This is the Mask of Truth. With this mask, you can literally see the truth. If you wear this mask, the gods themselves will be unable to deceive you. All shrouds on the truth are revealed. It can also be used to communicate with Gossip Stones as well as read the thoughts of animals."

Edd couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh dear, Eddy's going to really hate this mask."

Edd, Link, Tatl, and Marie all shared a laugh despite themselves. "Go now, young heroes," the Great Fairy pleaded, interrupting them. "Time grows short."

Everyone stopped laughing and nodded solemnly. "Right," Marie said.

The Great Fairy smiled again. "When battle has made you weary, feel free to see me again."

The Great Fairy then retreated into her fountain with one final laugh, leaving the kids alone in the chamber. Link nodded to his friends, who followed him out of the fountain. Once outside, Link put away the Mask of Truth and brought out his ocarina. "Ready, guys?" he asked.

"Whenever you are," Marie replied, while Edd only nodded.

Link played the Song of Time, and they were surrounded by a bright white light before they found themselves falling through the void of time once again, joined by the startled Ed, Eddy, Lee, and May.

8


	19. Frothy Mugs of Milk

**Chapter Nineteen: Frothy Mugs of Milk**

(Dawn of the First Day, 6:00 am, 72 hours remain)

Once the transition was complete, everyone was surprised to find they had landed on their feet this time. "Ya could have warned us!" Eddy yelled.

"Didn't feel like it," Link answered. "Alright, Tatl. What can you tell us about the mountains? What should we be expecting?"

"The Snowhead Mountains are in the northernmost part of Termina," Tatl explained. "It snows there a lot, but even so, they've had an unusually long winter this year. It's still snowing up there, virtually non-stop. That's where the Gorons live. The Snowhead Temple is up there too."

"Oh dear," Edd said. "It seems we'll have to dress warmly if we want to traverse that particular landscape."

"That general store me and Ed went to had some clothes," Eddy spoke up. "They looked like they were made of fur."

At that moment, May noticed something. "Hey Marie, where're yer arrows?"

"Huh?" Marie looked at her quiver and noticed that she mysteriously was out of arrows. "Crap. They must've flown out during the time jump."

Ed fingered his pockets and pulled out his Deku stick. "I don't have any more nuts either!" he declared, eliciting a snicker from Lee.

Edd patted his zippered pocket and sighed in relief as he felt the Silver Rupees bulging out of it. "Thank goodness, I still have the rupees," he informed.

Suddenly they all felt a low rumble that could only have come from one place: their stomachs. Link sighed before turning to his comrades. "Alright, since it's obvious we're all hungry, Double D, give each of us a Silver Rupee and we'll all head around town, find something to eat, and buy some supplies for our trip to the mountains."

"Ya have any idea where said restaurants might be?" Lee replied, folding her arms. "Cuz I don't. I can't read yer stupid language."

"They're mostly in the eastern part of town," Link replied. "There's the Ratté Milk Bar next to the Stock Pot Inn…"

"I remember that place," Lee responded. "Before we found ya we crashed at the inn for a couple nights, and I roughed up a guy with funny clothes for info, and he told me about the Milk Bar."

"There's also the Treasure Chest Diner, which is in the building shaped like a giant treasure chest across from the inn, and finally, there's the Octorok Cove Seafood Parlor inside the building with the billboard of a squid-like thing. Let's meet up at the northern gate in an hour."

Edd opened his pocket and took out seven Silver Rupees, handing one to each of his friends and keeping one for himself. "C'mon, Big Ed! Let's go to that seafood place!" May cried.

"Seafood for Ed!" Ed said, following May.

"Whaddaya say, Double D?" Marie asked. "Wanna try out that Treasure Chest Diner?"

Edd smiled and held out his arm. "I would be delighted, Marie."

Smiling, Marie looped her arm through his, and they both headed off towards their destination. Lee started forward, following them. "Well, I know where I'm goin'."

That left Eddy alone with Link. Waiting until everyone else was out of sight, Eddy turned to Link and said, "So, where're you goin'?"

"General store," Link replied. "I'll do all the shopping there and pick up some trail mix or something."

"Wow, they have trail mix here?" Eddy asked. "Who'd a 'thunk?"

Link just shrugged his shoulders and walked off, Tatl flitting over his head. Now alone, Eddy fingered the Silver Rupee in his hand._ If only there were jawbreakers on this world_, Eddy thought to himself. _Oh well. I might as well try out that Milk Bar next to the inn. No way am I hangin' out with my friends and their Kanker girlfriends! _

Eddy shuddered at the very thought as he began walking. _When this blows over, I'm gonna give both of them a piece of my mind. It's just sick, kissing it up with those freaking animals!_

Eddy walked into East Clock Town, brushing past the various townsfolk going about their daily routine as he headed to the Milk Bar. He opened the door and heard music in the background coming from some kind of tuba-like device in the far corner of the room. It was relatively early, so there weren't a lot of people there already. It was an interesting-looking place. Eddy had never been to a bar before. There was an empty stage directly across from him down the stairs. To the right of the bottom of the stairs was a long counter where several stools were located. A heavy-set man with a large, round nose and a bartender-like outfit stood behind the counter, taking orders and getting drinks. It appeared this bar had its own food, thankfully, so Eddy headed down the stairs and took up a seat close to the bartender. He was about to get his attention when Eddy suddenly heard, "Well, look who's here! I woulda thought you'd run off with one'a yer pals!"

"Lee!" Eddy yelped, realizing Lee was sitting in the barstool right next to him, smirking playfully.

"Oh, come on, Eddy!" Lee said. "Lighten up! I'm just here to eat!"

Eddy was still for a moment before heaving his shoulders in a sigh. "Fine, whatever. Hey, barkeep!"

The bartender looked over at Eddy from where he was opening up a bottle of milk. "Be right with you."

After pouring some milk into his customer's bottle and sealing it up again, the bartender came up to Eddy and said, "Welcome to Ratté! What can I get for you?"

"We'd both like ya to read off that menu on the chalkboard," Lee interrupted. "We're not from around here, so we ain't particularly familiar with your language."

"Ah, I see," the barkeep said, nodding in understanding. "Don't get many far-off travelers these days. Anyways, for food we have chef salad for ten rupees, steak and eggs for thirty rupees, and fried cucco sandwich for twenty rupees. As for drinks, we have regular milk for five rupees, water for free, and our specialty, Chateau Romani, for forty rupees."

"Chateau Romani?" Eddy repeated, intrigued.

Knowing his customers were hooked, the barkeep continued. "Our special brand of milk. Comes from only one place in the entire world, Romani Ranch. They have special-bred cows that give this stuff. I'll even let you have a free taste, just to see if you'll like it."

"Huh," Lee said. "Sure, why not?"

"I think I'll try it too," Eddy added.

The barkeep turned around and picked up a bottle of cream-colored liquid and two shot glasses, placing them down on the table. He then uncorked the bottle and poured a little of the so-called 'Chateau Romani' into both glasses. Eddy and Lee took their glances, stared suspiciously at their drinks for a moment, then drank the stuff. Lee was quiet for a moment, judging the taste. It was slightly sweet, just right, not overdone, and there was an interesting aftertaste that neither Lee nor Eddy could place. They could feel it tingling down their throats as they swallowed. "Ok, I'll admit, that was pretty good," Lee complimented. "I think I'll have the fried cucco sandwich and Chateau Romani."

"And I'll have the steak and eggs, and Chateau Romani," Eddy added.

"Are there free refills?" Lee asked.

"Just one this time," the barkeep answered. "We're actually low on stock, so we're cutting back a little."

"Oh, that sucks," Eddy answered.

"Anyways, that's seventy rupees for you sir, and that's sixty for you, ma'am."

Eddy and Lee handed the man their rupees, and he promptly gave them back change before going off to fulfill their orders.

XXXXXX

(First Day, 6:25 am, 71 hours, 35 minutes remain)

Edd and Marie sat at one of the tables in the Treasure Chest Diner directly facing each other, waiting for one of the waitresses to reach them. The place wasn't very full, considering how early it was, and the only other customers there were a few soldiers and construction workers having breakfast before their shifts. Finally a young woman with a plain white dress came up to their table with two menus in hand. "Hi, welcome to Treasure Chest Diner! How can I serve you today?"

She handed Edd and Marie their menus, who both frowned when they noticed they were, of course, written in Hylian letters, which they couldn't read. Edd looked up at the waitress. "Yes, madam. First of all, we are not from around here, so we are unable to decipher the scripture of your language. Could you perhaps interpret for us?"

The waitress blinked in confusion, causing Marie to lean forward a little. "He means we can't read Hylian. So can you read off the menus for us?"

The waitress smiled in understanding. "I sure can."

Marie opened her menu and set it down open side up for all three to see as the waitress pointed at each menu item. "This is the cucco salad for fifteen rupees…"

"What's a cucco?" Marie asked.

"Oh…you might know them as chickens. Anyways, this is our roast beef sandwich for ten rupees, fish filets with mango salsa and orange slices for fifteen rupees, roast cucco leg and thigh with garden salad for twenty rupees, and our weekly special."

"What's your special this week?" Marie asked.

"All-you-can-eat hickory-smoked pork ribs with a tangy home-brewed barbecue sauce for fifty rupees for two people."

Marie and Edd's mouths started watering. Catching himself, Edd inquired, "And what are your beverages?"

"Water for free, milk for five rupees, and various fruit juices all for ten rupees, including apple, orange, mango, and pineapple."

Marie looked up at Edd and smiled. "You know what'cha want, Oven Mitt?"

"I certainly do," Edd replied with a similar smile. "Perhaps we could share our order?"

Marie turned her attention towards the waitress, who obligingly held her pen and paper at the ready. "Okay, we'll have the special, and my drink will be orange juice, and Double D, what do you want?"

"Mango juice sounds delightful," Edd replied, the waitress jotting down their orders.

"I'll get your drinks in a sec," the waitress said, closing her notebook and heading towards the back.

Edd watched her go before turning to Marie. "Isn't it fascinating, Marie?"

Marie glanced at him questioningly. "Huh? What's fascinatin'?"

"The fact that we're here in an alternate world seemingly set centuries behind our own, and yet they have restaurants just like ours and functioning clocks."

"You would be fascinated by all that stuff," Marie responded with a chuckle. "I think it's odd enough we're in an alternate world to begin with."

Edd shrugged as the waitress came back with their drinks and set them in front of them. "Your food'll be ready in just a minute," she said before heading off again.

Marie took a sip of her drink before noticing Edd contemplating his. "What's up, Double D? Somethin' on your mind?"

Edd sighed. "Just thinking. It's about the time travel we keep doing. When we go back, it all resets. People, places, everything. What if that also applies to the work we've done? What if, by going back in time, the Great Fairies are back to being shattered and the swamp fiasco is happening again? What if the first giant has been re-imprisoned?"

Marie blinked in surprise. She hadn't thought of that, and now that she did, she felt a slight knot in her stomach. Edd sipped his drink before saying, "Just something I thought of. Let's not dwell on such unpleasant thoughts and enjoy our meal, shall we?"

Marie swallowed before nodding. The next few minutes were spent in idle conversation, Edd telling Marie about a few of Eddy's more hare-brained scams, particularly the one that sparked a conflict with Jonny's superhero alter-ego Captain Melonhead. After wiping a few tears from her eyes for laughing so hard, she said, "Oh wow, I wish I could'a seen that!"

"You mean Eddy's fight with Jonny…oh, excuse me, _Captain Melonhead vs. Professor Scam_?" Edd questioned sarcastically. "Or me in my underwear?"

Marie laughed again. "Both!"

Edd blushed as Marie continued laughing, eliciting a few confused and irritated stares from a few other patrons. As Marie was calming down, the waitress reappeared with a large platter bearing a medium-sized treasure chest and two plates. She then put the chest on the table between Edd and Marie and opened it, revealing a steaming full rack of barbecued pork ribs. Taking a big whiff, Edd and Marie sighed in anticipation as the waitress set their plates in front of them. "Call me when you're ready for more," the waitress said. "My name's Sylvia."

Sylvia then took off with the empty platter. Edd looked down to put his napkin in his lap before noticing something. "Oh dear, there seems to be no silverware."

Looking up from where she was taking off a couple ribs from the rack, Marie gazed at him with a deadpan expression. "Double D. These are ribs. You don't use silverware."

"But I always use silverware."

"Not this time, Oven Mitt. C'mon, get down and dirty, and show no mercy!"

Marie promptly bit hungrily into a rib. After a moment, Edd shrugged his shoulders, got some ribs for himself, and dug in.

XXXXXX

(First Day, 7:05 am, 70 hours, 55 minutes remain)

Eddy and Lee had never experienced the world of alcohol. So naturally, by their second drink of Chateau Romani, they were pretty soused. Taking another swig from her drink, Lee stared blearily at Eddy. "Hey…Eddy," she said.

"Yeah, *hic* Lee?" Eddy grunted.

"How did you…*hic*…how did you put up with…*hic*…that asshole brother'o yers fer so long?"

"Oh yeah…*hic*…Daniel…" Eddy glowered. Normally he wouldn't go into the details of his life with anybody, especially_ Lee Kanker_, of all people, but the poor kid was too drunk to care. "I looked up to him for so long…*hic*…but it took me a while to…to get the hint."

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Daniel…*hic*…He was so good at scammin' the other kids in the cul-de-sac…'specially Kevin and Rolf…I thought *hic* he was so cool…but whenever my parents were off at work…*hic*…"

Lee's face was as serious as she could manage in her current state. "What *hic* did he do to you?"

"…I was like a punching bag for 'im…I…I got beat up…*hic*…almost every day…I guess I should thank him, though…"

"Why *hic* in the hell for?"

"I can take a lot more *hic* pain than he can now…Remember last summer?"

Lee rubbed her head. "Ugh…how can I *hic* forget? Ed slammed his face with the door…"

"Yeah…*hic*…probably the most pain…he'd ever felt in his life."

"Oh no…trust me, it *hic* wasn't."

Eddy narrowed his eyes at Lee as he swayed a little. "And how *hic* do you know that?"

"Because that was…*hic*…that was nothin' compared to what me and my sisters did to that prick…"

"Oh yeah…I remember you three *hic* draggin' him into his trailer…"

"Heh…showed that bastard *hic* what happens when you mess with our men…ya know, I tried goin' at 'im…*hic*…when he started beatin' ya…Marie 'n' May were holdin' me back though…probably thought he'd tear me to shreds…*hic*."

"Uh…thanks…I guess?"

"It wasn't right…what he did to ya…*hic*…beatin' up on yer own flesh and blood. My sisters 'n' I rough-house a lot, but we look out for each other *hic*. Reminds me a little bit of my Uncle Michael…"

Eddy couldn't help but be interested by this. "Uncle Michael?"

"My dad's brother…I never even knew my *hic* dad, so it was weird to know his bro wanted to be a part of my life." Lee shuddered at the memory, which Eddy, even in his drunken haze, did not fail to notice. "Couple months later…*hic*…I found out why. The bastard was a pedophile…"

Eddy's eyes widened. "You…you gotta be kidding me."

Lee snorted derisively. " You have no *hic* idea how many times I wished I was. But I wasn't. He was still doin' this after Marie and May were *hic* born. At least May still had her father Rod. He still did stuff with us…*hic*…Well, one day Michael was about to…go all the way…*hic*…"

Eddy immediately realized he was drunk. No way could Lee Kanker be crying in front of him. "…Rod came home early with May and Marie after takin' em shopping…Michael 'n' I were up in my room…Rod was wonderin' where I was…*hic*…Before Michael could cover himself up, Rod busted into my room and found him…*hic*…Rod beat the shit out of Michael while I hid with my *hic* sisters…Too bad he didn't kill the guy…Rod called Mom, Mom came home, the cops came 'n' took Michael to prison…and that was that…*hic*…Mom started really hatin' men after that…taught me and my sisters that they were all scum…"

"Why? *hic* May's dad saved yer bacon! We ain't all bad, ya know. That uncle'o yers is dirt, in my opinion…*hic*"

Lee took another swig of her Chateau Romani. "Yeah…I guess…*hic*…I guess yer right."

Eddy drank some more Chateau as well before rubbing his eyes. "Wow…ya know…never thought you had it rough too, Lee…growin' up, I mean…"

"Eddy…neither of us need pity…*hic*…But I think…we can come to a…mutual understanding…"

"Huh?"

"A truce, dingus…So, whaddaya say, truce?"

Lee shakily held out her hand. Eddy stared at her hand for a long moment, contemplating. As he did, Double D's annoyingly nasally voice echoed in his head. _Give Lee a chance, Eddy…You're more in common than you think_…

Finally Eddy sighed and shook her hand. "Alright…truce."

The two kids took their glasses and tapped them against each other before downing the last of their Chateau in celebration of a new beginning.

XXXXXX

(First Day, 7:30 am, 70 hours, 30 minutes remain)

Link tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for his comrades to show up. He was currently standing in the park in the northern part of town, carrying several woolen coats over his shoulder. Tatl was flitting overhead, also impatient. Finally they saw Edd and Marie emerge from the eastern part of town, still conversing with one another. Marie rubbed her bare stomach as she groaned, "Man, I had too many ribs."

"Are you well, Marie?" Edd asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just haven't eaten that much in forever."

"Took you guys long enough!" Tatl snapped, flying over their heads. "Where are the others?"

"Hiya, guys!" came Ed's voice from behind them.

Ed and May then walked past Edd and Marie up to Link. "We're here!" May said.

"That just leaves the other two," Link said. "Wonder where they got off to."

"They weren't with us," Edd said.

"Or us," Ed added.

"So then they must have gone to the Milk Bar," Link concluded.

"Oh dear," Edd said. "Both of them together? By themselves? This could be bad, friends. Perhaps we should go get them?"

"I agree," Link answered before tossing a coat to Marie, Edd, May, and Ed. "By the way, here's your gear for the Snowhead Mountains."

Since it wasn't very cold, they just carried their coats as they followed Link back into East Clock Town over to the Milk Bar. Link was about to open the door when it opened for him, revealing a rather shocking sight.

Lee and Eddy were stumbling forwards, laughing giddily as they leaned on one another for support. Eddy appeared to be telling Lee about the incident with Edzilla, which she seemed to find hilarious. Neither of them seemed to notice their companions gawking at them. "So anyways…*hic*," Eddy slurred. "Ed was roaring his head off…and suddenly Ed's little sister Sarah comes up *hic* and pulls the mask off his face…He doesn't even *hic* remember it happening!"

Lee laughed some more. Finally Edd gained enough of his sanity back to uncertainly ask, "Eddy? Lee? Are you…_intoxicated_?"

Eddy and Lee looked up and covered their eyes to ward off the morning sunlight. "Intox…intoxi…Double D, since when were there three of ya?" Eddy muttered.

Link's serious expression was priceless. "Are. You. Kidding. Me?"

Marie blinked in confusion. "Lee, how the hell were you and Eddy able to get your hands on booze?"

"Booze? We didn't drink any *hic* booze," Lee answered drunkenly. "We had a special kind of milk…*hic*…Chat…Chatty…Ah hell, I can't even remember *hic*."

Link rubbed his forehead, trying to control his anger. "Great, just great. Now we have to wait until their inebriation wears off. Alright, you two, you're going to rest over at the inn while we do stuff around town."

"Bullshit," Lee responded. "I ain't drunk…*hic*"

Lee and Eddy promptly fell flat on their faces. Marie stood over Lee and held her hand out. "Okay, Lee. How many fingers am I holdin' up?"

"Whaddaya think I am, stupid?" Lee growled. "Everybody *hic* knows you have five fingers."

Marie facepalmed. "Okay, let's get you two lug-nuts over to the inn. Ed, help me."

"Alley-oop, Eddy!" Ed cried, tossing a barely-conscious Eddy over his shoulder while Marie helped Lee to her feet.

While Link, Tatl, Edd, and May looked on, Marie and Ed helped Eddy and Lee stagger over to the Stock Pot Inn. After a few minutes, Ed and Marie came back out and trudged over to the rest of the waiting group. "Well, they went right to sleep once we tucked 'em in," Marie said.

"Snug as a bug in a rug!" Ed proclaimed.

Link nodded. "Alright then. We'll have to find some way to pass the time until they wake up. Hopefully their hangover will be a lesson well-learned."

"What's there to do?" Marie asked. "We've already eaten, and you've done all the shopping. What else is there to do?"

Link looked over towards a door situated next to the Octorok Cove Seafood Parlor. Overshadowing the door were a pair of bulls-eye targets and a basket. "See that?" Link pointed. "That's the Honey and Darling Game Center. Their games change daily. Today they have Basket Bombs. Don't know what that is, but it won't hurt to check it out. On the other side of the Seafood Parlor's a Shooting Gallery." Link pointed to another door on the other side of the restaurant with a target and a single arrow sticking out of it. "And in the park, there's a game for Deku. If you've got the Masks, you can get there."

"Let's go to the Deku thing!" Ed said.

"Yeah, me too!" May piped up.

"You'll need these," Edd interjected, giving Ed his Deku Mask while Marie gave May hers.

Tittering in excitement, the two of them ran off towards the park. "I think I wanna try out that shooting gallery," Marie said, taking out her bow. "Care to join me?"

"I suppose," Edd responded. "I can always provide moral support."

"That's my Oven Mitt."

Edd and Marie then proceeded to the Shooting Gallery, leaving Link to do whoever knows what.

XXXXXX

(First Day, 4:30 pm, 61 hours, 30 minutes remain)

Needless to say, time seemed to go by quickly. Ed and May had loads of fun at the Deku game over in the park, which consisted of them using a Deku Flower to jump onto moving platforms and collecting rupees without falling onto the ground below. Edd and Marie, on the other hand, spent most of their time at the Shooting Gallery, Marie firing at various moving targets while Edd cheered her on from the side. Time went by so quickly, in fact, that before they knew it, it was late afternoon.

The two couples laughed and chatted amiably as they approached the Stock Pot Inn to check on Eddy and Lee. Link was dozing on a bench off to the side. Suddenly the inn's door slammed open, and Eddy and Lee stalked out, rubbing their foreheads and groaning from their hangovers. "Ugh, remind me to never drink again," Lee moaned.

"Man, the heck was in that stuff?" Eddy grumbled. "Milk makin' ya drunk…how's that even possible?"

"So, how are you feeling?" Link asked, an insincere smile stretched across his face.

Noticing Link's somewhat-unsettling grin, Lee snorted, "Blow it out yer ass, Peter Pan."

"These are for you," Link replied huffily, tossing Lee and Eddy their wool coats. "Since you're over your drunken haze, we can move on to, you know, freeing the second giant?"

Everybody then put on their coats, pleased that they all fit. "Alright then," Link said. "Off to Snowhead."

Everybody started following him out of the town. Lee and Eddy hung towards the back and glanced at each other. "I won't tell if you don't," she whispered.

"Deal," came Eddy's hushed reply.

XXXXXX000XXXXXXXX

**Yeah, pretty much filler here. Still, you can all rest easy because the updates are going to be a lot more frequent than before. So stay tuned, folks, for the next chapter in this exciting tale!**


	20. Endless Winter

**Hey guys, sorry for the delay. Real life's been a huge drainer on my creativity and motivation lately. But anyways, here is the long-awaited next chapter!**

**XXXXX000XXXXXXX**

**Chapter Twenty: Endless Winter**

(First Day, 5:00 pm, 61 hours remain)

Outside the city, Link gave Eddy the bombs he had bought to replace the ones Eddy lost, and handed Ed more Deku Nuts. Marie already had a full quiver of arrows, one that, courtesy of her talents at the shooting gallery, could carry more arrows than her previous one. All remaining change was returned to Edd's pocket.

As they approached the mountain pass, it got progressively colder. A light blanket of snow now covered the ground. Suddenly, they all felt a slight tremor, as well as a strange noise that progressively got louder.

_Shtump. Shtump_.

Everyone turned to see what was approaching them, and all of them save for Link widened their eyes in shock and terror.

A green, two-legged lizard slightly bigger than a full-grown elephant was approaching them. It had an impressive crest on its head, as well as spikes running along its back. Two razor-sharp tusks protruded from its bottom jaw. Its beady black eyes were focused on their target as smoke billowed out of its nostrils.

"No way!" Lee stammered, reaching for her sword. "T-they got _dinosaurs_ here?_!_"

Glaring stubbornly at the beast, Link explained, "That's a Dodongo. They're fire-breathing lizards with really tough hides. He's bigger than the ones I normally see, but I've seen bigger."

The group collectively took a step back as the Dodongo stepped forward. "You mean these th-things can g-get even _bigger_?_!_" Eddy squealed.

"Everybody stay calm!" Link ordered, taking out his sword. "We can defeat it! Its tail isn't as well-defended as the rest of its body! It also has a tendency to swallow whatever's thrown at it! Eddy, throw a bomb in its mouth before it breathes its fire! Double D, if Eddy doesn't succeed, block its flames with your Poe's Lantern! Lee, May, Marie! Get your swords out and help me get to its tail! Ed, see if you can't distract it with a Deku Nut!"

Ed saluted while everyone else nodded. The Dodongo roared its challenge as the kids got into fighting positions. The Dodongo focused on Edd first, opening its mouth and inhaling. "Eddy, it's readying its fire breath!" Edd yelled.

Eddy frantically pulled a bomb out of his bag and tossed it towards the monster's mouth, missing completely and detonating off to the side. Seeing his failure, Eddy's eyes widened. "Oops."

Knowing he was on his own, Edd readied his lantern. Finally the Dodongo belched out a great tongue of flames, and Edd countered with his own. The monster's breath was surprisingly short-lived, but Edd's flames died out as well, as Edd couldn't blow for very long either.

Meanwhile, Link tried to slash at the Dodongo's tail, but the appendage was moving back and forth rapidly, and unfortunately, Link failed to move out of the way in time, and his legs were unceremoniously swept out from under him. Landing on his back, Link groaned in pain. Lee stood over him for a second, smirking. "Don't you dare say anything," Link growled.

"C'mon, get up!" Tatl screamed. "Marie and May aren't doing too hot either!"

Link scrambled to his feet and saw that Tatl was right. May and Marie weren't having much luck hitting the tail. In fact, they had just gotten the Dodongo's attention, which turned around with a speed that belied its great size. The two Kankers were now face-to-face with the beast. The two leapt out of the way as the Dodongo breathed more flames.

Link and Lee ran towards the Dodongo's tail to try again, followed by the other Kankers. Eddy was running around, his hand in his Bomb Bag, trying to get a clear shot at the Dodongo's mouth, while Edd tried to catch his breath. Ed had a Deku Nut in his hand, and was trying to get in front of the monster to stun it. It was Ed who was presented the opportunity first, as the monster turned its head towards Eddy. "Say cheese!" Ed yelled, throwing the nut against the ground.

The flash startled the Dodongo, temporarily blinding it. However, this caused it to flail about in a random manner, making it even more difficult for the kids to coordinate their attack. Suddenly Eddy had an idea. A crazy one, he knew, and under normal circumstances he'd immediately dismiss the idea and hide behind one of his friends. "Hey! HEY! Tall, dark, and ugly!" he yelled. "Over here! Right here! Look at me!"

Its eyesight starting to clear up, the Dodongo stared down at Eddy, who glared at it and tried to appear brave, even though he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Edd looked over at him in worry. _What is he doing_? Edd thought frantically.

The Dodongo opened its mouth, and despite himself, Eddy couldn't help but grin as he pulled out a bomb and threw it point-blank down the Dodongo's throat as it inhaled. Realizing it had just swallowed something, the Dodongo shut its mouth in surprise before its stomach suddenly expanded out before collapsing back in. The monster opened its mouth, allowing smoke and fire to eject from its mouth. Stunned, the Dodongo collapsed. Link and the Kankers seized the opportunity and began hacking the monster's tail apart, the creature howling in agony.

And then suddenly, the creature went still, its mouth hanging open. The Eds and Kankers were about to sigh in relief when Link yelled, "Everybody run!"

"Huh? Why?" Eddy asked.

"Because that thing is gonna explode in about ten seconds!"

Link bolted. Putting all rational thought aside, the kids scattered. And when the explosion came, they were all knocked off their feet. The Dodongo's corpse disappeared in a roaring crescendo of fire and flesh, bits and pieces of the monster raining down on the ground for dozens of meters. The danger nullified, everyone shakily got to their feet. "Whoa," Eddy muttered.

"Well that was fun," Lee sighed, straightening her hair.

As everyone put away their weapons, Edd looked at Link and said, "So Link…you said you've seen bigger Dodongos before?"

Link nodded. "Back in Hyrule, not long after I started my first adventure, I had to go to Death Mountain to borrow a sacred jewel from the Gorons. Unfortunately, Ganondorf had sealed the cavern they used to harvest their food and filled it with Dodongos. The Goron leader, Darunia, said he would give me the Goron's Ruby if I cleared the cavern for them. While I was in there, I fought a huge Dodongo, probably two or three times bigger than the one we just fought. He was called King Dodongo. And before that, I came across the skull of a Dodongo big enough to swallow King Dodongo whole."

The Eds and Kankers blinked in surprise and began imagining a Dodongo of that size rampaging through the cul-de-sac. Not a pretty picture. "Alright, let's go, guys," Link ushered, turning back towards the mountain pass.

The others fell into step behind him, glancing at the smoldering pile of Dodongo remains as they passed it. They trudged up a rather steep slope until Link stopped, causing them to stop as well and notice what Link was seeing.

Their path was blocked by a solid wall of transparent, light-blue ice. It was so pristine, it was as if they were staring at glass instead of ice. "This is the blockage I told you about before we went to the swamp," Tatl explained. The fairy then glided up to an overpass above the path, where a large crystal-blue icicle hung directly above the ice wall. "See this? This is our ticket through. Marie, shoot this thing down with your arrows!"

"Are you telling me what to do?" Marie snapped.

"Yes. Deal with it."

Ed fished through his pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. "Looks like Marie…" he began before putting on the sunglasses. "…Just got the cold shoulder…YYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!"

Everyone stared at Ed for a moment, having not understood what any of that meant. Finally dismissing it as Ed just being Ed, everyone turned back to the obstacle, Marie pulling out her bow and fitting an arrow on the string. Taking aim, the middle Kanker sister let it fly, the arrow bouncing off the icicle. The impact caused the icicle to shake a little, and some ice chipped off of it. Marie shot one more arrow at it, and the icicle finally dislodged, crashing into the wall of ice and shattering it to pieces.

Edd couldn't help but feel a small pang of sadness that such a pristine example of nature had to be destroyed. Nevertheless, he continued onwards alongside his companions as they continued up the mountain pass.

They hadn't gotten much further before it began to snow. Ed and May laughed giddily as they stuck out their tongues to try and catch snowflakes. Edd and Marie glanced upward at the sky, watching the snow fall. It almost seemed romantic. Smiling at each other, the two of them held each other's hand and intertwined their fingers.

Someone else, though, had a more diabolical method of expressing their joy at the piles of snow. Link promptly felt something cold and wet splatter against the back of his head. Stumbling forward in surprise, Link whirled around to see if he could determine the culprit. Edd and Marie were idly conversing with each other. Ed and May were oblivious, still catching snowflakes on their tongue and not having a care in the world. Eddy and Lee, however, were struggling not to laugh. Link's murderous glare was enough to melt the snow still clinging to his green hat. "Alright, which one of you threw that?" Link demanded.

"Threw what?" Eddy asked innocently.

"No idea what yer talkin' about," Lee added, snorting.

Link glared at them for a moment before turning around. A few seconds later, Eddy grinned and stooped to pick up another snowball, while Lee watched Link with a nasty grin. Eddy stood up and arched his hand back, ready to throw. But before he could, Link spun on his heel and threw a snowball of his own, smacking Eddy directly in the face and knocking him onto the ground. As Eddy lay there groaning, Lee howled with laughter, catching everyone else's attention.

Satisfied Eddy had learned his lesson, Link brushed the remaining snow off his hands and continued walking. Lee was still laughing as she hauled Eddy to his feet, who wiped the snow off his face. "Are you alright, Eddy?" Edd asked with mirth.

Eddy shook his head and looked at Link. "Yeah, I'm fine," Eddy replied. "But _dang_, that kid has one heckuva swing! We could use 'im in a baseball game." He then glared at Lee. "Why didn't ya warn me he had a snowball too?_!_"

"It was funny," was all Lee said, Eddy grumbling to himself.

As the group got further along the trail, the wind started to pick up and the snow started falling more heavily. Shivering, the kids all put up their hoods and hugged themselves as they trudged along through the ever-deepening snow. After a few more minutes, Link suddenly stopped, the others following suit. Link looked around through the blizzard and said, "You guys hear that?"

Everybody immediately glanced at Eddy, whose teeth were audibly chattering. "S-s-s-sorry," Eddy stuttered.

"No, not that," Link answered. "Listen."

Eddy forced himself to keep his teeth from chattering as he and the others strained to hear over the whistling winds. And then they heard it: the sound of something scratching around in the snow. Whatever it was, it was close by. Looking around, Edd suddenly spied a small spot in the snow that was shifting. Something was underneath the surface, digging around and kicking up snow.

Tatl flitted over to it. "Hmm…I think I know what this is."

No sooner than she said that, the mysterious object burst out of the ground, startling Tatl and causing her to back off out of the thing's reach. As the creature shook the snow off its insectoid body, Tatl said, "Yep, just as I thought. It's a Blue Tektite."

Now that it was above ground, Edd could get a clearer picture of it. "Oh my, how intriguing!" he cried, wishing he had a notebook to record his observations. "Another example of a large arthropod specimen!"

The Tektite had a short, squat body faded blue in color, with four yellow insectoid legs and a single red eye that gazed unblinkingly at them. "Ugh, it's kinda creepy," Eddy observed.

"Actually, it's quite interesting!" Edd replied enthusiastically, watching as the Tektite idly used its front legs to forage around some more in the snow. "I've never encountered an arthropod quite like this! Only four legs instead of eight, the size of a housecat, and only one eye!"

"You live in a very mundane world, Double D," Tatl said, "if you think a Tektite's anything special."

"Double D, I understand how fascinated you are by all the little creepy-crawlies that live here," Link interrupted impatiently, "but we really need to get going. It's already sundown, and we haven't even made it to the Gorons yet!"

Reluctantly, Edd turned his head away from the foraging Tektite and rejoined the group. "Sorry," he muttered. "Let us continue, shall we?"

XXXXXX

(Night of the First Day, 7:15 pm, 58 hours, 45 minutes remain)

After what seemed an eternity of pushing onward through a thick blanket of snow up the mountain trail, the kids suddenly caught a break. The trail opened up to a wide space covered in snow. A lone tree stood sentinel above them, a sign positioned directly underneath it. Further onward was a house half-buried in snow. Large balls of snow bigger than the kids were scattered around the area. A frozen river was off to the side.

Wrapping his coat tighter around himself, Link stepped forward to read the sign. "It says this is the Mountain Village, and the Goron City is this way."

Link pointed right. "Well, let's get going!" Lee demanded impatiently.

"It also says to watch out for wild Wolfos," Link continued.

Immediately everyone's minds ventured back to the incident shortly before the swamp where they encountered a Wolfos. "Ya mean those freaky wolves're around here too?_!_" Eddy complained, glancing about warily as if expecting a Wolfos to pop out of the snow.

"Relax, Eddy," Link assured his companion. "Strength in numbers, remember? Don't break off from the rest of us, and they won't stand a chance."

Eddy glanced at Link and saw the confident smile on his face. He couldn't help but grin too. "Whatever you say, Link."

"Wow, you actually called me by my real name."

"Don't get used to it, Blondie."

Eddy snickered as Link's face contorted into a gruff pout like a kid who just got told he'd have to wait until tomorrow to get his ice cream. Edd shook his head at their antics. _Funny the way the world works_, he thought. _Being stuck together on an adventure really can change even the most stubborn of people for the better_.

Gone was the animosity between Ed and Kanker, replaced by tolerance, and in some cases, genuine love. Things couldn't possibly get any better. Suddenly, though, a noise shook Edd out of his thoughts as everyone stopped, looking up at a ledge where the noise seemed to originate.

"Whoa, what is _that_?" Marie questioned, staring at the creature shivering terribly above them on the ledge.

It stood up to about Eddy's height. Its body was quite bulky, its skin light brown, and its back hard and blocky like rock. It had round, black eyes and big lips. A hat that looked like a frog was nestled on its head as the creature held itself in a vain attempt to keep warm.

"P-p-please…h-h-help me," the thing stuttered weakly, its voice almost child-like.

"That's a Goron!" Link explained. "What are you doing up there in _this_ weather?"

"I-I-I was j-j-just exp-p-ploring," the Goron child replied. "A-and then I f-f-f-found myself u-up here. Th-then the b-b-blizzard kicked in. I've b-been up h-h-here for d-days. I-I-I can't get d-down…and I'm s-s-so hungry…I-I don't t-t-think I'm going t-to make it…"

Even now the Goron was swaying unsteadily on his feet, weak from cold and malnourishment. Knowing they needed to act fast, Link whirled around to face his team. "We gotta get him down! Lee, Ed! You two are the tallest and strongest of our group! Can you reach him if one of you stands on the other's shoulders?"

Lee glanced over the ledge for a moment before saying, "I think so. But how're we gonna get 'im down? He doesn't exactly look like he's easy to lift."

"I can do it!" Ed proclaimed.

Satisfied, Lee took action, standing beneath the ledge. "Alright, flathead! Get on!"

Ed climbed onto Lee's shoulders. The two of the together were able to get Ed up to shoulder level over the top. Ed held his arms out invitingly. "Come on! You'll be safe with Ed!"

The Goron looked hesitant for a moment, but quickly understood they really wanted to help him. Summoning what strength he had left, the Goron stumbled over to the edge and jumped into Ed's arms. The resulting force knocked Lee over, sending the three of them crashing to the ground, the Goron cushioned by Ed's chest. Looking none the worse for wear, Ed and Lee got to their feet, Ed holding the still-shivering Goron in his arms like a baby, wrapping the folds of his coat over him to keep him warm.

Link walked up to the tall boy and looked down at the shivering Goron. "Listen, we're trying to find the Goron City," he said. "Can you lead us to it?"

"I-I don't want to go b-back out there," the Goron stuttered, clinging to Ed's ratty underjacket.

"You don't have to," Link replied softly. "Just point us in the right direction."

The Goron, seeming to understand, pointed his chubby little finger off to their right. "It's that way," he answered, quickly withdrawing his arm back into the warmness of Ed's winter coat.

Everyone glanced in that direction and saw the path continue further up the mountain before heading onward. It wasn't long until the path widened out, revealing a frozen lake before them. Several small islands were connected to each other and the mainland by wooden bridges. Glancing suspiciously at the road ahead, Link drew his sword, signaling everyone to be prepared. Realizing Ed wouldn't be able to defend himself while holding the Goron, May stepped close to Ed and smiled. "Don't worry, Big Ed. I got your back!"

Ed beamed. The group of kid heroes then started walking across the somewhat-rickety bridges, Link leading the way. As they reached the first island, Edd noticed another Tektite foraging by a lone tree. "Oh! There's another one!" Edd exclaimed.

The Tektite looked up towards the group, rubbed its front legs together to brush off the snow, then hopped towards the lake. Once it landed on the ice, though, something extremely amusing happened; the Tektite began sliding across the ice, its body spinning around as it skidded across the lake, unable to stop itself as it bounced off huge snowballs and the cliff walls as though it were stuck in a life-size pinball machine. The kids laughed hysterically as the poor creature spun out of sight. Wiping a tear from his eye, Link chuckled, "Wow. Now THAT isn't something you see every day!"

The others shook their heads in mirth as they proceeded across the next bridge. The moment they reached the next island, however, a howl cut their chuckles short as a White Wolfos rose out of the ground to challenge them. Eddy yelped as he jumped back, hiding behind Lee. The rest of them stood their ground and stared at the White Wolfos. The animal growled and snapped at them, feinting attacks several times in an attempt to split the group up. However, the kids all stuck together, leaving no weaknesses for the monster to exploit. Realizing it wasn't going to get a meal out of these travelers, the Wolfos slunk away to hunt elsewhere. Once it was gone, Eddy puffed out his chest in victory. "Piece of cake!"

Everybody just glared at Eddy as he posed like a superhero. Lee took it upon herself to knock Eddy back to his senses by swatting him upside the head. "Ow!" Eddy yelped, rubbing his stinging head as he glared at Lee. "The heck was that for?_!_"

"Fer bein' a doofus," Lee replied. "Now let's get this kid to his home."

Grumbling, Eddy brought up the rear as the group progressed, progressing over the connecting islands until they reached the end, where the mountain path continued on. It wasn't long before the trail opened up again into a much wider area. A small city covered in several feet of snow lay before them. Further on was a sharp dropoff, and beyond that, a lone peak with a small cave. The buildings were all poking out of a large rock, but none of them appeared to have any doors. "This is my home, Goron City," the Goron child explained.

"Not to sound rude," Edd said questioningly, "but I don't see a way in."

"There is," the child replied. "But only a Goron can open the door. We have to find Darbus, the gatekeeper, and get him to open it for us."

"So where do we find this 'Darbus'?" Link asked.

From inside Ed's jacket, the Goron pointed towards a large stone sitting atop the massive boulder. "That's him," he said.

Marie raised an eyebrow. "That's just a rock, kid."

"No, that's a Goron," Link said. "They have the ability to roll themselves up into a ball and roll around. I recognize that position he's in. Let's go, guys."

Deciding to let the one familiar with these weird rock people lead them on, the Eds and Kankers followed Link and Tatl over to the (quivering, much to everybody's surprise) 'stone'. "Darbus!" the Goron child yelled as loud as he could. "Open the gate!"

The rock suddenly shifted and revealed itself to be a larger Goron, who got to his feet and rubbed his cold arms. "Eh? Who're you?" Darbus asked suspiciously.

"Darbus, it's me, Darius!" the Goron child said, catching Darbus's attention.

Blinking in surprise, Darbus exclaimed, "By the grace of the Four Giants! Darius, you're alive! Oh, thank goodness! We all thought you were dead after the blizzard hit!"

"I would've been, if it hadn't been for these guys here."

Darbus regarded the kids with his beady black eyes before his face suddenly broke out into a wide, toothy grin. "So, you saved this kid's life, huh? Thanks a lot! It's been so dreadful out here, we weren't able to send a search party to find him after the blizzard started. His mother's been so distraught. It doesn't help that the Elder's son hasn't stopped crying since our greatest warrior Darmani disappeared while trying to find out how to stop the blizzard."

"Oh my! That's terrible!" Edd exclaimed.

Darius's eyes widened in horror. "N-no…Darmani's…gone?"

Darbus nodded solemnly. "Cold as it may be, I'm rather glad I'm out here, because that kid's louder than a Wolfos going into labor when he cries."

The kids all exchanged glances. "Well, I'll get to opening the door. It's right below me at the bottom of this rock, but when I open it, hurry it up, because I gotta close it quickly to keep the warm air inside. Catch my drift?"

They all nodded. "Okay, here you go!" Darbus said, rolling into a ball and bouncing up into the air before slamming back down into the ground with the force of a small earthquake, jarring the kids momentarily.

They then heard the sound of stone grating against stone below them. "Go!" Darbus yelled. "I can't keep it open for more than two minutes!"

Link whipped his head towards the others and pointed downwards. "Move it! Move it! Let's go!"

"Yessir, Mr. Drill Sergeant Nasty," Eddy grumbled before they all broke into a sprint down a winding slope.

They soon reached the bottom and saw a large opening in the rock. The kids all ran inside just before the door began to slide shut. Safely within the Goron City, everybody took in their surroundings. They were in a large underground cavern. The windows of the buildings above poured in some light, which was further strengthened by dozens of torches lining the walls. Pictures of Gorons were painted along the walls. A large statue of a Goron loomed over them, and above that, a chandelier with Goron faces depicted on the torch holders. Many tunnels branched out from the main hall, leading to other parts of the city.

But the thing they noticed first was a loud wail that sounded like it belonged to a young child echoing through the halls. Several of the Gorons, who had previously been covering their ears in an attempt to deafen the noise, turned to look upon the new visitors and suddenly noticed Ed setting down Darius. One Goron in particular suddenly gasped in shock as she recognized her missing son. "Darius!" the Goron called, running forward with her arms outstretched.

"Mama!" Darius yelled, holding out his arms.

Darius's mother swept him up in a great big hug as her eyes welled up with tears of joy. "Oh, Darius! I was so worried!"

"I missed you, Mama," Darius said, burying his face in his mother's chest.

The group of kids all smiled warmly at the scene. Even Eddy and Lee couldn't help but crack a smile. Darius's mother looked over at the kids, holding back her sobs. "Thank you…for saving my son."

They only smiled and nodded. Darius's mother looked down on her child and began stroking his head. "I bet you're hungry. Let Mama feed you," she cooed.

"Wait," Darius suddenly said as he took the frog-shaped hat from his head. "You guys."

The kids gathered around Darius and his mother. Darius's gaze centered on Ed. "I want to give you this," he said, holding out his mask towards the tall boy. "For keeping me safe and getting me home."

Ed's eyes widened for a moment before they started to mist. "A present…for me?" he asked.

"It's the Don Gero's Mask," Darius explained. "There's a troupe of singing frogs who will answer to whoever wears this hat. It's my thanks…for being my friend when I needed one most."

Ed slowly took the mask out of Darius's hands and stared at it for a moment. Suddenly the boy smiled and wrapped his arms around Darius, tears flowing down his face. "Ed will always cherish your gift!" he said, his voice cracking. "Friend…"

A tear slid down May's cheek as she smiled for Ed's happiness. Darius smiled as well. Ed finally let go of Darius and fit the mask on his head. "It's a perfect fit!" Darius congratulated.

Ed sniffed and wiped a tear from his eye. "Thanks for everything, Ed," Darius said. "Let's go home, Mama."

"Farewell, Darius," Edd bade as Darius's mother began carrying him away towards one of the tunnels.

As she walked, Darius peered over his mother's shoulder and waved at Ed. Ed waved back in his strange, overhead way, sniffling as he watched his new friend leave. Ed didn't stop waving until Darius and his mother disappeared into the tunnel. Ed stared at it for a little while before he felt a hand on each shoulder. He turned to see Edd and May at either side, smiling comfortingly at him. Ed sniffed and rubbed his eyes before smiling back. Eddy folded his arms and grunted, unwilling to admit that he too was feeling slightly emotional about a family's reunion.

Link's attention was drawn to the wail that still permeated the room and looked up towards where he guessed the noise originated. There was a winding slope that led up to a room up above them level with the chandelier. "Alright guys," he said, catching his friends' attention. "Let's get moving. We need to talk to the Goron elder, and I have a feeling he's up there."

Link pointed upward towards the room overlooking their position. Edd looked at his friend. "Come on, Ed. We have to get moving."

Ed perked up immediately. "You're right, Double D. Back to adventure!"

"About time the stupid author got us back on track," Eddy grumbled to himself. "And why is that sappy Trailer theme from Dead Island playing in my head?"

Nobody seemed to hear Eddy's fourth-wall break as they all followed Link up the slope, passing several tunnels before reaching the top, where a large opening led to a well-lit chamber. The piercing cries were definitely coming from this room, as the two Gorons stationed outside were covering their ears and wincing. "Oh dear Giants, make it stoooooop," one of them groaned miserably.

Bracing themselves for whatever awaited them, the intrepid band of heroes entered the Goron elder's chamber.

**XXXXXX000XXXXXXX**

**Oh look, a fourth-wall break. That's never happened before in my stories. Anyways, the song in Eddy's head is quite an emotional piece, even if it is from a zombie survival game. I got tears in my eyes because I was listening to it while writing the last scene with Darius and Ed.**

**Shut up.**

**Also, a message to all you anonymous reviewers out there. Quit telling me to update my stories. They're done when they're done, and no amount of poking and prodding is going to make it happen any sooner. I can't tell you how much of a buzzkill it is to hear these demands instead of thoughtful reviews, and it further puts a strain on my motivation. Now I know how Andrew Hussie feels. Anyways, if you plan to review in the future, if you're thinking about saying the 'U' word, think instead about some positive feedback you can offer about my stories.**

**I'll stop ranting now. Till next time, folks.**

11


	21. A Fallen Hero

**Author's Note: Wow, it's been over two years since I worked on this, hasn't it? Thankfully most of you were patient, so here is the newest chapter in this near-forgotten saga. Hope you enjoy it.**

**And as for the asshole anon who badmouthed me and my loyal followers for not updating this story as often as you wanted me to, don't you dare bother to leave a comment. You are not welcome here.**

**XXXXX000XXXXX**

**Chapter Twenty-One: A Fallen Hero**

The minute Link, the Eds, and Kankers all walked into the room, their ears were assaulted by the ear-splitting wails of a Goron baby sitting on a crib at the far back. The two Goron attendants had already given up trying to console him and were just huddling in corners, covering their ears and wincing in agony. Standing at the child's side was a Goron of immense age, his lips far bigger than his normal brethren, his hair falling over his face like that of a hippie, his back grossly hunched, as his legs looking like they were barely capable of keeping him upright.

The Eds and Kankers covered their ears and gritted their teeth, but Link seemed unaffected by the loud screams. Edd saw this and couldn't help but ponder exactly _what_ this kid had gone through to allow him to be able to shrug off such an unbearably loud noise as the Hylian approached who they all assumed to be the Elder. "Excuse me, sir?" Link asked loudly over the raucous din, catching the Elder's attention. "Can we talk to you?"

The Elder said nothing, glancing forlornly at his son before motioning with his hand to follow him outside. The kids did so, matching the Elder's slow, unsteady gait as he led them outside the room. Once they were able to hear each other relatively well over the baby's cries, the Elder turned around to face his visitors. "I'm afraid this is not a good time for visitors to visit our halls," he said.

"We were told that someone named Darmani had gone missing," Edd explained.

The Elder had a faint look of surprise on his face, but it quickly disappeared. "Ah…so you already know then."

The Elder sighed. "It all started three weeks ago, when it began to snow heavily at an unusual time. Spring is supposed to have come already, you see, and the snow should already be melting. But, inexplicably, a huge blizzard hit us, and it hasn't stopped since. Eventually, Darmani ventured out and returned to us bearing news as to the cause of this enchanted weather. A wicked living machine with power over the weather had taken up residence in our most revered temple at the very peak of the Snowhead Mountains."

"A living machine?" Edd repeated, confused. "That's a contradiction. Machines are artificial constructs, not living things."

"What machine do you know possesses a will of its own?" the Elder answered gravely. "That thinks like a living being? Now please let me finish, young man. The machine's name is Goht, a giant mechanical bull. I warned Darmani about the beast, but he insisted on facing it, as he knew it was the cause of this endless winter. He…has not returned. We have no choice other than to assume that…he did not survive the encounter."

Marie sadly glanced up towards the room where the Elder's son bawled. "That poor kid," she murmured.

"My poor son is inconsolable," the Elder continued. "Darmani was like an uncle to him, teaching him all he knew about how to be a strong warrior, a respectable Goron. Darmani also knew an old lullaby that could easily put any Goron to sleep, but I'm so old its tune is lost to me."

Lee crossed her arms and sighed. "Looks like your son's about to grow up a little. Life ain't easy, ya know? Anybody you know can up and die without any warnin', and the only thing you can do from there is say your goodbyes, keep your chin up, and move on."

Everybody stared at Lee with their mouths slightly hanging open. "Why, Lee! That was very well-spoken!" Edd exclaimed.

"Ya act like you're surprised," Lee said. "I've been around the block a few times, you know."

Edd said nothing, not sure of how to respond. "Well, at least we know what's behind the blizzard," Link said. "It's likely the Giant that protects this area's been taken prisoner too by this 'Goht'."

"You mean to confront Goht yourselves?" the Elder asked. "You are but children. If our strongest, bravest warrior could not defeat Goht, then I'm sorry to say it but, what chance have you?"

"You'd be surprised," Link responded. "We'll take care of it, don't worry. And, if fortune smiles on us, we may find Darmani alive and well."

The Elder looked doubtful, but relented. "If that is what you wish. You are all we have left now. Please…save our home. The cold worsens with each passing day, and…I do not believe we will last much longer. I…I don't want to bury my own child."

"We'll do what we can, Elder," Link assured. "Let's go, guys."

XXXXXX

(Night of the First Day, 11:15 pm, 54 hours, 45 minutes remain)

As they watched the door slam shut behind them, Link and his companions all wrapped their arms tighter around themselves to ward off the sudden cold. "Alright, Mr. Hero," Marie said, looking at Link. "Any ideas on how we're gonna tackle a giant mechanical bull?"

"Ah, not you too," Link groaned at his newest nickname.

"Hey, at least it's better than 'Blondie' or 'Peter Pan', right?" Marie pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. But seriously, what is with you guys and nicknames?"

"Think of it as a term of endearment," Edd interjected. "And besides, Eddy almost never calls anyone by their real name anyway."

Link rubbed his temple and sighed in exasperation. "Ugh, why do you all have to make it so difficult? Look, we'll figure out how to destroy Goht after we reach Snowhead Temple, okay?"

"Hoo! If it weren't for the impending end of the world, I could watch you kids all day."

The group jumped and looked upwards to see Kaepora Gaebora perched on the ledge above them. "Oh…you," Eddy grumbled.

"Greetings, Mr. Kaepora," Edd greeted with a friendly nod.

Kaepora inclined his head in return and said, "Sounds like you could all use a little help once again."

"Uh…well, we _would_ like to know how to get to the Snowhead Temple," Link said.

"I'm afraid I'm not the one qualified to tell you. I _do_ know, however, who is."

"Not qualified?" Lee snorted. "That your idea of a joke, birdbrain?"

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me that. Anyways, all the explanation required lies in the mask given to you by the Great Fairy of the Swamp."

"The Mask of Truth?" Edd asked.

"Wait wait wait," Marie interrupted, holding her hands up. "We went back in time after that. How do _you_ know we did that?"

"Though we are all affected by the passage of time, the ancient spirits are not. They keep me informed on your progress. Now then, whoever holds the Mask of Truth, wear it, and your questions will be answered. Trust in the magic."

The great owl then spread his wings and took to the air, disappearing into the clouds above.

"I really freakin' hate birds," Eddy grumbled. "And what the heck was he talkin' about? Mask'a Truth?"

Edd blinked in surprise before grinning. He had forgotten to inform Eddy about the new mask, but the fact that what it did was sure to grate on Eddy's nerves put such a cheerful smile on his face that the biting cold ceased to bother him for a moment. Smirking, Link then pulled out the Mask of Truth and held it up for Eddy to see. The short boy cringed slightly at the mask's appearance.

"This, Eddy, is the Mask of Truth," Link explained. "We received it from the Great Fairy of Woodfall after we restored her body. It allows whoever wears it to see stuff that is otherwise invisible, and will also allow them to tell if someone's lying to them."

Eddy paled and laughed nervously. "Ha…ha ha…is that so?"

"Oh, I like this mask!" Lee crowed, snatching it right out of Link's hands before he could even blink and putting it on her face. "Hey, Eddy!"

Eddy's eyes widened in horror. "Oh God, what?"

"Is it true ya keep porn magazines hidden under yer bed?"

"N-no!"

"_Bzzzzzzt_! Wrong answer, dreamboat!"

"I'm not l-lying!"

"I'm not even wearing it and _I_ can tell you're lying, Eddy," Link butted in. "You're terrible at keeping a straight face."

"Shut up, Blondie!"

"Question number two! Do you or do ya not lust after the beauty and perfection that is me?"

"Absolutely friggin' not!"

Lee was quiet for a moment, before she suddenly broke out into a hysterical fit of laughter. "HA! I knew it! Ya don't wanna admit it, but you _are_ startin' to warm up to me!"

"I am not!" Eddy protested. "I am not I am not I am not!"

The other kids were laughing at Eddy's antics, but as Lee was slapping her knee, she suddenly noticed something a short distance away. Ceasing her laughter, she stood up straight and looked hard at the creature. It appeared to be a Goron, but it was a dull grey in color and appeared almost…_ghostly_. His chest bore a large scar, possibly from some battle long ago.

By now, everyone else had noticed Lee was no longer laughing and quieted down. "Hey, you!" Lee barked. "Who are ya?"

May blinked in confusion. "Who are ya talkin' to, Lee?"

"Don't ya see that guy over there?" Lee asked, pointing at the spectral figure.

The whole group shook their heads. "There ain't nothin' there, Lee," Marie replied.

Confused, Lee took off the mask and saw only snowy ground where the figure had been before. She then put it back on, seeing the Goron staring at her. Something suddenly clicked in her mind, and Lee's face went white. "Oh…my God. You're a ghost, aren't ya?"

"G-g-g-_ghost_?!" May squeaked in fright as she jumped into an equally-terrified Ed's arms.

The phantom floated slowly up to Lee, who refrained from taking a step back. "You…you can see me?" the Goron asked, his voice echoing in Lee's mind.

"…Yeah. Yeah, I can," Lee nodded.

The ghost looked down sadly. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Nah. I ain't scared. I just ain't ever seen a ghost before, is all."

"Yes…a ghost," the phantom repeated, as if allowing the words to sink in. "Not a favorable state of affairs, especially since…since I failed in what I set out to do."

The other kids all watched Lee talk to what seemed to be thin air, but Link knew better than to question her sanity.

"You're…you're that hero guy the Elder mentioned goin' missing, aren't you?" Lee asked bluntly.

The ghost nodded. "Yes…I am Darmani the Third, the greatest of all Goron warriors. Or rather, that's what I would _like_ to tell myself, but such a warrior is never supposed to lose his battles, is he?"

Darmani's ghost laughed bitterly. "How did you die?" Lee asked. "Was it Goht?"

Darmani slowly nodded again. "When this unnatural winter set in, I went to see the Great Fairy who resides at the foot of our revered temple at the peak of Snowhead. But when I went to see her, I found that her body had been broken into pieces, and she regaled to me a strange tale. Her power had been shattered by a child who wore the 'devil's face'. This child had then taken one of her pieces and entrusted it to a vile living machine of his own creation."

"Child wearing the devil's face?" Lee repeated.

Overhearing this, Link growled under his breath, "Skull Kid."

"This machine, Goht, was the one responsible for affecting the weather. In order to ensure there was no interruption, the child somehow also managed to capture and imprison the spirit of the Giant who protects our land. Our home was now left defenseless. All our people had left…was me. I should have listened to the Elder…but I was arrogant, full of myself. I thought I could defeat Goht. I was wrong, so very wrong.

"My punch of flame could shatter boulders and ice alike. It wasn't enough. I was knocked off the cliff's edge during our fight…I remember falling…and then nothing."

Darmani lowered his head in shame as silvery tears fell down his face, disappearing before they could reach the ground. "Oh, Darfur…I won't be able to keep my promise to return to him. That little boy must be in tears now."

"Yeah…I saw him. Poor kid. I really wish I knew somethin' I could do."

"I wish…I wish to rest. But…I can't. Not as long as I know that Goht's reign remains unopposed."

"Ah…so ya wanna go to the light?" Lee inquired before turning to Link. "Hey, Greensleeves! Think there's anything we can do for this guy?"

Link sighed in exasperation as he brought out the Ocarina of Time. "_For the last time, my name is_—oh, forget it…Alright, alright."

The boy hero then played the Song of Healing, its soothing notes carried on the wind's howls, lending an ethereal quality to the song. Darmani's ghost looked up in wonder. "That tune…so beautiful…it eases my aching heart."

The hero's phantom closed his eyes and smiled. "I feel…at peace now…I know you can succeed where I failed…you can defeat Goht…When you see Darfur again…please tell him…that in my final moments, my thoughts were on him, and that it is time for him…to become a man, and protect the tribe in my place…I know he can do it…Thank…you…"

A bright light slowly enveloped the spirit, a light everyone could finally see. Darmani's outline began to fade as his restless spirit finally allowed itself to pass on. Once the light vanished, Lee inclined her head in respect for the fallen hero.

That's when she noticed the mask protruding from the snowy ground. "Huh?" she whispered to herself.

She knelt down and picked it up, turning it over in her hands. The mask was that of a Goron's face, and appeared incredibly life-like. "Whad'ja find, Lee?" May asked.

Lee turned around and held up the Goron Mask. "Looks like our dearly departed hero guy left us a farewell gift," she said. "I bet this is one'a them Transformation Masks, like those wooden ones you had before."

"A Goron Mask!" Link exclaimed. "This could be really helpful to our cause!"

Lee took off the Mask of Truth and put her hair back into place. "I don't know. Darmani said he was the toughest of the tough and all his strength didn't amount to shit against Goht."

Link grinned. "I think all we need is a little extra push," he said, turning to Ed, who smiled and waved stupidly.

Catching on to what Link meant, Lee smirked as well. "Read ya loud 'n clear. Hey, Ed!"

Ed looked over at Lee, who held out the Goron Mask towards him. "Present," she coaxed.

Ed's face split into a huge, childish grin as his eyes sparkled. "For me?" he exclaimed.

Lee rolled her eyes. "Just shut up 'n take it, flathead."

Ed ran over and took the mask out of Lee's hands, immediately putting it on. After a bright flash of light, a large, heavily-muscled Goron stood in Ed's place. He looked very similar to Darmani, but still retained his trademark ratty green jacket and short hair. Ed spread his arms out wide. "How do I look, guys?"

"Dashing," Edd said.

"Charming," Lee added.

"Fat," Eddy remarked.

May just swooned dramatically.

Edd and Marie shook their heads in amusement. However, Link was beginning to lose his patience. "Guys, can we go already?" he demanded. "We're kinda pressed for time here."

"I agree," Edd said. "Let's be off."

As they continued, Link whispered to Edd, "By the way, what's a porn magazine?"


	22. Snowhead temple

**Author's Note: And here is the new chapter! Next, the fight with Goht! Will it all go according to plan? Probably not.**

**And Larry, your attempts to antagonize me are laughable, to say the least. I moderate my comments now, so anything you say, which will probably consist of "FUCK YOU" repeated a hundred times in a dozen messages since you can't come up with anything witty, will take me just seconds to delete en masse. I win this round, you pitiful excuse for a troll. Go back to your mom's basement and bother someone else.**

**XXXXX000XXXXX**

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Snowhead Temple**

(Night of the First Day, 12:30 am, 53 hours, 30 minutes remain)

The climb up the Snowhead Mountains was long and arduous. The group trudged through deep snow that rose to their knees while pulling their fur coats tight around them to ward off the biting cold. The winds howled more than ever, its ghostly wails reverberating throughout the many peaks. The blizzard pushed against them as if attempting to thwart their journey, yet still they moved, teeth chattering and bodies shivering.

Little was said during this part of the journey, as everyone was concentrating hard on not succumbing to the numbing cold. Even Lee couldn't stop her teeth from chattering. Finally, just when they all felt like they could go no further, Link stopped them all with an upraised hand as he caught sight of a sign. Squinting, Link read the sign: "Snowhead Temple directly ahead. Guys, we're here."

Tatl huffed from inside Link's hat. "Well it's about time!"

"I'll say!" Lee wheezed as she wearily leaned on the snow-covered rock wall of the pass. "Goin' up *pant* that mountain was *pant* a helluva *pant* workout. We *pant* gotta *pant* take *pant* a break."

Link reluctantly nodded in agreement. "Alright, everybody. Let's rest a little and eat."

The kids all took a few moments to dig out some snow until they reached the wet ground beneath so they could sit in a circle. Link reached into his inventory and brought out a large pouch and loosened the string so it would open. "Here you go, guys," Link said. "Trail mix."

They all then spent a few minutes chowing down on their rather meager dinner before the bag was emptied. Sighing in discontent, Link put the empty bag back in his inventory and stood up. "Alright guys, let's get a move on. And keep your wits about you. The wind's really kicking at the top, from the sounds of it."

The Eds and Kankers nodded before getting up as well, brushing the gritty mud off their rears. After a short trek, they came upon a daunting sight.

They had reached the peaks of Snowhead. All around them lay an abyss that fell into deep nothingness. A narrow bridge led all the way to another peak standing right in the center of the void, into which a structure had been carved. However, the structure was obscured by an intense gust of wind that churned the falling snow into a near-raging blizzard. A distinct howling noise filled the air, ringing in the kids' ears. "I don't know about you, fellows," Edd surmised, "but something about this wind doesn't feel…natural."

Link narrowed his eyes. "Yeah…you're right. It stops momentarily every couple of seconds. Almost like…"

Link suddenly blinked as something occurred to him. "Lee! The Mask of Truth! See if you can see anything in that blizzard!"

Lee, curious as to why Link was suggesting this, brought out the mask and put it on. The cause of the strange wind was immediately revealed, and Lee's jaw almost dropped. "Holy hell…that's the biggest Goron I've ever seen."

Link scratched his chin. "Hmm…a Biggoron. I was right then. All that wind is because of something big breathing hard. Ed, could I borrow your Goron Mask for a second?"

"Sure thing, Link!" Ed replied, handing him his mask.

Link put it on and transformed into a Goron version of himself and brought out the ocarina, which immediately transformed into a set of Goron drums strapped over his shoulders across his gut.

Almost immediately, Link knew what song he had to play. He knew this was due to the memories of Darmani merging with his own mind, but thought little of it as he began to beat his drums in a slow, soothing fashion. Despite the howling winds, the tune could clearly be heard, and after a moment the blizzard subsided, revealing the Biggoron swaying sleepily on his perch. The Biggoron then curled up into a ball and fell asleep. Unable to remain balanced on the lone peak, the giant tipped over sideways and fell into the abyss, unleashing an earth-shaking rumble when he impacted the ground. The abyss was so deep that the Biggoron's body could not be seen.

"My goodness!" Edd cried in shock. "Would he survive a fall like that?!"

Link nodded as he took off the Goron's Mask and handed it back to Ed. "He'll be fine. Gorons are made of stern stuff."

Edd really wanted to believe Link, considering the boy hero had interacted with them far more than he had. But the small part of his mind that stubbornly attempted to cling to logic and common sense made that difficult to do. "I hope you're right, Link."

"Hurry up, ya pansies!" Lee yelled as she began traversing the bridge that led across the chasm, concentrating all her willpower on not looking directly into the abyss below her.

Eddy and May shakily followed, and May's fear of heights soon kicked in, causing her to hyperventilate and try to crawl her way across the bridge instead to ward off vertigo. Marie would have rolled her eyes at that, but the fact was, the possibility of falling into that endless abyss was all too real if one was not careful and gave in to fear. Grabbing hold of Edd's sleeve, Marie squeezed the fur partly to reassure Edd and partly to reassure herself. Finding strength in one another, the two of them slowly followed the others across the narrow bridge, Link and Tatl taking up the rear. Edd noticed that Link didn't seem particularly bothered by heights, though he did exercise caution all the same. _I think it's safe to say Link is the single most courageous person I've met, and he's even younger than me_!

As Lee led the group, she stared over at the other end of the bridge where the temple was situated. _I swear to God, if that Goht douche comes outta nowhere and pulls a Balrog of Moria on us, I ain't gonna be the next Gandalf_, she thought tersely to herself.

Luckily for her, (and by extension everyone else) no giant robot bull stepped forward to inadvertently reenact a certain _Lord of the Rings_ scene, so they all made it across without incident. "The entrance to the temple should be at the top," Link surmised, looking at the ramp that spiraled upward along the ice tower looming over them.

"Then where's that lead?" Eddy asked, being observant for once as he pointed at a large hole in the base of the tower not far away.

As they all glanced where he was pointing, Link said, "I wouldn't be surprised if that's where the Great Fairy of Snowhead resides. Let's go check it out."

The Eds and Kankers wordlessly followed Link into the hole, and upon entering, Link's assumption proved correct; before them lay the Fairy Fountain of Snowhead, where the shattered pieces of the Great Fairy were flitting erratically about in distress. The whole group of Stray Fairies turned in the kids' direction as soon as they saw them.

"Kind, young ones!" they all cried out in unison with tiny voices. "Please help us! The Skull Kid has shattered our body and taken one of us captive!"

"We know," Link responded. "We're here to help. It's been taken into the Snowhead Temple, hasn't it?"

"Yes. Please bring her back to us, and we will aid you in your quest!"

"Will do!" Link said, turning to leave.

"But please, be careful! The terrible construct that awaits you within the temple lies at the base of the tower. It is maintaining this perpetual blizzard by encasing itself in a block of ice. You must melt the ice before you can fight Goht, but when it awakens, don't let it escape the temple! Your best chance lies in keeping it trapped in close quarters, where it can't run you all down. That was the mistake that cost Darmani his life."

Eddy gulped at that, but this was ignored. "Thank you for your advice, Great Fairy," Edd said, bowing slightly. "We'll free you from this terrible conundrum as soon as possible."

"Let's get started, then," Link spoke, heading out.

"To adventure!" Ed yelled.

"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT?!" Eddy roared.

"Yeah, that's getting really annoying, Ed," Link agreed.

Ed slumped his shoulders. "Okay, guys."

Marie nudged him. "Oh, stop mopin' around, ya baby."

The group began ascending the ramp that led to the top of the tower. They hadn't gotten very far when they suddenly heard a strange hissing noise directly in front of them. They all stopped and readied their weapons, looking around warily for the perpetrator. Eddy suddenly yelped and shrunk behind the rest of his comrades as he saw a pair of round, glowing orange eyes staring up at him from the snow. The eyes blinked once before rising out of the blanket of snow, revealing a glowing white orb of spirit and snow. Tatl visibly relaxed. "Oh, it's just a White Boe. They're pretty darn weak by themselves. That little thing won't be much of a problem."

Seconds later, Tatl realized she had spoken too soon. The hissing noise grew louder and dozens of other pairs of eyes appeared, revealing a swarm of White Boes. "Okay, now they might be a problem."

And then a huge wall of violet flames consumed the entire swarm of Boes, leaving nothing but sizzling water behind. Everyone stared at Edd as he lowered his Poe's Lantern. "I beg to disagree, Miss Tatl," Edd replied with a small amount of smugness.

Marie grinned and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend, planting a kiss on his cheek. "That's the man I love!"

Edd blushed slightly as he returned the affection. Eddy visibly cringed as he watched this, still unused to the idea that his other friends were cozying up to the freaking _Kankers_. "Get a room, you two!" Lee crowed with a smirk.

Marie glared at her older sister. "Maybe we will!"

Edd's blush deepened exponentially as his eyes threatened to bulge out of their sockets. "O-oh my…"

"Whoa, I did _not_ need that image in my head," Link spoke up, rubbing his forehead. "Godsdamnit, Lee."

The Kankers laughed as they continued their trek up the ramp, Link doing his best to shake the image of Edd and Marie 'doing the hanky-panky' out of his head. That same image had left Edd nearly catatonic, walking alongside the others almost robotically, a stupefied look plastered on his face. Noticing this, Marie lightly nudged him in his side. "You okay there, dreamboat?"

"Fine!" Edd squeaked out, going red in the face. "Absolutely spectacular!"

Marie quirked an eyebrow as she realized what had caused his change in behavior. "Double D, I was just kidding. If you ain't ready for sex, you ain't got nuthin' to worry about."

Edd's blush deepened at the mention of the "s" word. "A-ah, Marie, uh…don't you think we're a little…um, _young_, to even think about such a life-changing endeavor?"

Marie shrugged. "Not really. Obviously Eddy's been thinkin' plenty, if those magazines of his are any clue. Lee probably has, though she's never said anything. You and I both know Ed 'n May are too engrossed in their own weird-ass worlds to even consider something like sex. I know it's illegal to actually have sex at our age, but there are workarounds." She flashed him a sultry smile. "If you're up for it, that is."

Looking into her eyes, Edd only managed to utter a strangled "eep" as he considered the gravity of what Marie was suggesting to him. While he had come to accept Marie for who she was and look past her faults, even willing to give having her as a girlfriend a chance, never once had he considered the ramifications of a more…_intimate_ relationship with the blue-haired Kanker sister. The very concept of sexual intercourse seemed foreign and alien to him. Oh, it wasn't that he didn't understand the concept himself; he, like every other child with any caring parents, was eventually given the infamous 'Talk', the discussion about the birds and the bees that really had nothing to do with either. It was just the idea of really, _really_ close physical contact with another person, a _woman_, and having part of his body inside another's. Edd had always been nervous about physical contact with others, and it had taken years for him to get used to being touched by Ed and Eddy on a regular basis. The Kankers certainly hadn't helped the process along, that was for darn sure. _And yet_…

And yet Edd's mind found itself wandering back to when they had slept near the swamp, and the night they spent in the Deku Palace. He had found the warmth of her body so close to his own rather comforting, and he realized that he enjoyed that close contact. It made him feel safe and loved; it reminded him that he was not alone, and never would be. And having her held so close to him allowed him to better take in the beauty that was Marie Kanker that he had been too foolish not to see before. Would this "pseudo-sex", as Marie was suggesting to him, be much different? Might it actually be something worth enjoying?

Edd was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn't even realize someone was talking to him until someone waved a hand in front of his face. "Double D! Earth to Double D!" Eddy snapped impatiently, retracting his hand. "You in there, Sockhead?!"

Lee folded her arms and scoffed. "Wow, Marie. I think you broke him."

"Oh no!" Ed cried dramatically, terror in his eyes as he waved his arms over his head. "Double D's brains have been consumed by snow ghosts! Every man for himself!"

Lee promptly slapped the sense back into Ed's noggin. "Get a grip, you dumbass."

Edd shook his head fervently, returning to reality. "Ah, s-sorry," he stammered. "Just…got caught up in my thoughts. I'm fine."

"Glad to have you back with us, Double D," Link quipped. "Just in time, too. We've reached the entrance."

Everyone looked towards the hole in front of them that led into the ice tower, as if waiting for some monster to emerge from the darkness. When none came, Link took the lead and strode in, the others following after.

They found themselves in a round chamber, with icicles curling over their heads like a split-open rib cage and a blocked passageway at the opposite end. A solid block of granite with a design depicting Majora's Mask emblazoned on its front barred passage to the other side of the path. Seeing this, Link glanced at Ed. "Ed. Push," he commanded, pointing at the block.

"Oh, no you don't!" Eddy spoke up, stepping between Link and Ed. "Nobody bosses Monobrow around 'cept me! Ed, push!"

Link silently glared daggers into Eddy's back as Ed saluted. "Right away, Eddy!"

Ed ran over to the block and placed his hands on it. "Alley-oop!"

The tallest Ed Boy then pushed the block back like it weighed nothing in a run, not stopping until it had made contact with the wall in the next room.

_YIPE_!

_CRUNCH_!

The whole group sans Ed winced at the noise as Ed inadvertently crushed a White Wolfos that had been waiting in ambush to death. "Okay, Ed, that settles it," Link hesitantly spoke up. "You are the most profoundly disturbing person I've met, and considering some of the people I've come across, that's saying something."

"Aw, thanks, Link!" Ed cheerfully replied.

Link facepalmed. "I don't even know how to respond to that."

"Hey, can we ponder the extent of Ed's stupidity another time?" Tatl impatiently interrupted. "We've got work to do!"

Link shook his head fervently. "I don't know how you guys manage to distract me like this, but Tatl's right. We gotta find and destroy Goht."

"Those weird fairy-thingies said he was somewhere at the bottom of the tower, right?" Lee asked.

Link nodded. "Yeah. But that won't help us any unless we find the Boss Key first."

"Does every temple have one'a those?" May asked, remembering the Boss Key she and Ed had found in the Woodfall Temple.

"Without fail."

"Guess we better keep an eye out, then," Marie surmised.

As one, the group went through the door on the right and found themselves in the main part of the tower. There were four floors below them, with a lava pit situated on the ground floor. A pillar of stone sat in the very center of the tower, dividing the narrow walkways on each floor save for the top floor where they stood. Large round blocks of ice were wedged into certain parts of the central pillar, perpetually frozen through some unknown spell. On the other side of their floor was a stairwell that presumably led down to the next floor down. Upon entering, this assumption proved correct, and they found themselves where they thought they would be. The pillar blocked their way across, but two ice discs sat at their level. Link stepped forward and tried pushing, but quickly had to stop before his hands got frostbite. "I know these can move," he said to his companions. "But I can't push them. Ed, put on the Goron Mask!"

"Okey-dokey-loki!" Ed proclaimed, putting on the mask and transforming.

Eddy frowned at Ed's exclamation. _I didn't know Ed watched that retarded pony cartoon_, he thought, not bothering to reflect on the fact that he secretly watched that 'retarded pony cartoon' too.

"Okay, Ed," Link said. "See if you can't push these blocks out of the way so the pillar will collapse. That way, we can get across."

Ed saluted before waltzing over to the blocks and pushing. Yet even with Ed's enhanced strength, the block didn't move much. "I can't push it, guys!" Ed announced over his shoulders.

Link started pacing back and forth, thinking about what they could try next. "Hey, He-Man!" Marie yelled. "Why don't ya try punchin' it?"

Link perked up. "Yes, good idea! Ed, try punching the blocks!"

Ed gave a thumb's up in reply and turned towards the ice blocks, rearing his fist back for a mighty blow. "Falcon…" he began.

Eddy facepalmed. "He isn't…"

"PAWNCH!"

Ed's fiery fist connected with the block of ice, sending it careening out of its place and shattering against the wall. The rest of the pillar fell down to fill up the space.

"He did," Lee muttered.

Ed then punched the second block of ice, achieving the same result as before. Now the top of the pillar was at their level, allowing them to cross the path over to the opposite door. Link frowned as he inspected the door. "Oh, this can't be good," he murmured sourly.

"What is it, Link?" Edd inquired.

Link pointed at the door. "See that door? It's one of those doors that slide up. Which means it's probably going to get blocked by iron bars as soon as we go into the next room, and we'll probably have to face one or more stronger-than-average monsters."

Taking the hint, the Kankers all drew their short swords, Edd got out his lantern, Eddy loosened the string on his bomb bag, and Ed fished out his Deku stick. "This should be fun, then," Marie quipped.

Gripping his sword handle, ready to pull it out in an instant, Link opened up the door and stepped inside with the others trailing after. Link's warning proved correct; as soon as Lee, the last one in the group, stepped through, the door slammed shut, bars sliding over it to prevent their escape. Sparing a concerned glance at the door, they all turned back to see what awaited them in this new room. It was a large, square room with strange, glowing tiles set in the floor in random places. Link cautiously stepped over to inspect the nearest one, poking it with his sword for good measure. Nothing happened.

"What on earth are these?" Edd queried, inspecting another one.

Tatl's mind clicked a millisecond before the tile in front of Edd began to glow red. "Double D, get away from that thing!" she screeched.

Suddenly a towering humanoid shape sprang out of the light, startling Edd and causing him to fall flat on his rear with a cry. Edd gawked at the strange creature as it raised a glowing red scepter at him. It had blue skin, a scrunched-up face, and witch doctor-like clothing and trinkets. "DOUBLE D!" Marie screamed, grabbing Edd roughly by the arm and dragging him out of the way just as the creature lobbed a fireball where he was a second before.

The ground ignited in a fiery blaze before the flames vanished. The monster, realizing it had missed, vanished into the glowing tile beneath its feet. "W-what is that thing?!" Edd cried, getting to his feet.

"That's a Terminian Wizzrobe!" Tatl hurriedly explained. "It travels randomly between those tiles in order to confuse you before it attacks with fire or ice magic! Attack it wherever it appears!"

Understanding what this meant, Marie sheathed her sword and withdrew her bow, taking aim at the various tiles scattered around the room. The others split up, running over to the other tiles to try and ambush the Wizzrobe. Marie then heard a noise behind her and whirled around, loosing an arrow into the looming Wizzrobe before it could ambush her. Crying out in pain, the Wizzrobe disappeared into the tile once again. The monster reappeared on the far side of the room from a tile not covered by the other kids, looking translucent and hazy. Before any of them could make out what was happening, the Wizzrobe began running pell-mell across the room so quickly it left after-images of itself as it touched each teleportation tile once before disappearing again.

"What the hell was that just now?!" Eddy yelped.

"Now it's gonna try and confuse us with astral projections of itself!" Tatl cried out, groaning as she saw the uncomprehending look on Eddy's face. "Ugh, it's gonna send out fake versions of itself! Find the real one and attack it!"

Suddenly the Wizzrobe appeared from every tile in the room, the replicas all running randomly about. "Which one is it?!" Lee yelled, whipping her head about.

Edd suddenly noticed the real Wizzrobe standing in place, summoning a spell. "There it is, right there! Eddy, your bombs!"

Eddy saw the Wizzrobe and pulled out a bomb, flinging it at the Wizzrobe just as it leaned back to toss its spell. It didn't even have time to react before the bomb exploded in its face, the monster consumed by the explosion. With the monster destroyed, the teleportation tiles disappeared, and a treasure chest materialized in the middle of the room. The bars also lifted on the doors. Link walked over to the treasure chest and kicked the rusty lock open, peering inside. "Hey, Marie," he called out. "I think this one's for you."

Marie walked over as Link stepped aside, allowing Marie to retrieve the contents of the chest. It was a circular red crystal that turned into a ball of fiery red light as soon as she held it up. Everyone watched as the ball of light circled around her a few times before sinking into her quiver. "Congratulations, Marie," Link said. "You just gained the ability to use Fire Arrows."

Marie grinned. "Sweet! How do I do it?"

"Just say, 'Goddess Din, bless these arrows with your fire,' and the tips will burst into magical flame every time you take an arrow out of your quiver."

"Okay, how do I stop it?"

"The blessing lasts as long as you want it to or your magic runs out."

"Cool," Marie answered, glancing over her shoulder at her quiver.

"Alright, let's get a move on," Link ushered, moving towards the other door.

Nodding in agreement, the others fell into step behind them as they eventually found themselves back in the main tower chamber. Putting on his Goron Mask again, Ed punched the ice blocks away, allowing them to cross the gap over to the next room, which contained a row of strange ice sculptures carved into the likeness of horned demons blocking the stairway on the other end of the room. Recognizing those creatures, Link pulled out his sword. "Watch out!" he cried. "Those are Freezzards!"

"Those are what-now?" Eddy asked, eyeing the ice sculptures warily.

"They look like just a bunch'a stupid-lookin' ice sculptures, if ya ask me," Lee pointed out.

"Freezzards are possessed ice sculptures," Tatl explained. "They can freeze you solid with their ice breath if you get too close to them. And to make things worse, they can move too."

"_Move_?" Edd repeated, his eyes widening. "There are a lot of them over there! And the ground is covered in ice! What do we do?"

Marie smirked, drawing out her bow. "Well, luckily for you guys, Double D and I happen to be packin' heat, aren't we, Sweetie?"

Edd blinked before he remembered his lantern. "Ah yes! How could I forget?"

"Get back, ya chumps!" Marie commanded. "Double D 'n I will handle these ice cubes."

Grumbling profusely, the others complied all the same.

"So what do you have in mind, Marie?" Edd asked, never taking his eyes off the waiting Freezzards.

"I'll start takin' 'em out with my Fire Arrows," Marie answered. "That's bound to get their attention. If any of them get too close, finish 'em off with yer lantern!"

Edd nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

Marie readied an arrow and recalled the words Link had told her earlier. "Goddess Din, bless these arrows with your fire," she whispered.

Suddenly, a blazing aura of fire circled around the arrow. As if realizing what that meant for them, the Freezzards suddenly started moving forward in a straight line, reminding Edd of the infamous Daleks from one of his favorite shows. He found that he was just the tiniest bit disappointed that they didn't unleash a chorus of "EX-TER-MIN-ATE!" as they advanced. Marie fired, and her aim was true, the Freezzard melting into a puddle of water on contact. The others continued without breaking ranks, and Marie shot down another one as they neared. However, the two remaining ones came close enough to unleash their ice breath, but Edd was ready. Just as they began exhaling the frosty fumes, Edd countered with the flames of his Poe's Lantern. As soon as the violet flames died down, all that remained was a large puddle of water where the Freezzards had once been.

In the center of the room, a treasure chest materialized. Unlike the previous chest, this one was ornately decorated, blue with golden ivy-like designs all over it. "This has to be the boss key," Edd surmised, remembering that the chest that held the previous temple's key was similarly decorated.

Marie walked over and threw the lid up, removing its contents. "Yep, Boss Key," she announced, holding the gold key out where everyone could see it.

"Alright, we got the Boss Key and the dungeon item," Link said. "All that's left is to find the Stray Fairy."

Marie pocketed the key and took her place beside Edd as they continued their trek through the temple, Ed bashing aside the ice blocks when they reentered the main part of the tower. Finally they reached the bottom floor, where a few puddles of boiling lava were situated. Taking care to not get too close to these lava pits, the group made their way around the central pillar and found the Boss Door on the opposite side of the room.

"You guys ready for this?" Link asked, looking over his shoulder at his teammates.

"Are you gonna ask that every time we get to these stupid doors?" Lee impatiently demanded. "Let's get this done already!"

Link rolled his eyes and looked away. "Sorry for making sure you guys're prepared."

Marie frowned at her older sister. "Hey Lee, lighten up on 'im, okay? He's done this a lot more than we have."

Lee stared at her with a surprised and offended expression. "Lighten up? Yer tellin' _me_ to lighten up? You, the most rambunctious outta the three of us?!"

"Yeah, I am!" Marie snapped. "Want a fat lip to go with that?!"

Link's eye twitched. "Ladies…"

Then someone else stepped between the two sisters and pushed them apart before Link could. To everyone's surprise, it was Eddy. "For Pete's sake, can't you two stop arguing for more than five minutes?! I like a good catfight as much as the next guy, but seriously, we got bigger fish to fry!"

Both Kanker sisters (and by extension, everyone else) were shocked into silence. Link nodded to the shortest Ed Boy. "Thanks for that, Eddy."

Eddy grimaced. "Don't think I was doin' it for you, Blondie. It was startin' to get on my nerves too."

Link just sighed. A kid could dream, couldn't they?

Marie shook herself out of her stupor and fit the Boss Key in the large lock, turning it clockwise until she heard a click. The lock then disappeared, allowing Link to slide the large door open. As they entered, Marie whispered to Edd, "Is it just me, or did Eddy finally grow some balls?"

Edd just shrugged as the door slid shut behind them. The room appeared to be almost like a racetrack, but rusted metal walls blocked off the rest of the area. Nestled inside one of the metal blockades was a giant robotic bull encased in a solid block of ice. Goht stood well over thirty feet tall, covered completely in steel plates painted various hues of red and black. It had the face of a grimacing old man with a pointed chin that stared blankly ahead.

"Holy shit," Eddy breathed. "We're gonna fight _t-that_?!"

"First we're gonna think of our strategy," Link said. "We have plenty of time to plan our attack, so here's what we're gonna do. Ed, transform into a Goron. We'll rely on you to try and pin Goht. When he charges you, try and grab his horns. Either hold him down or toss him on his side, anything that gives us an opportunity to attack. Double D, you're good with machines, right?"

Edd nodded. "Quite so, Link. I can build a machine out of pretty much anything!"

"Good. We'll need your expertise to find Goht's weak spot. See if you can't find some hatch that opens. Eddy, if Double D finds an open hatch, I want you to try and get one of your bombs inside it. If Double D's unsuccessful, you girls and I are gonna try and cut off his legs so he can't run. Everybody got that?"

Lee folded her arms. "And what if Monobrow _can't_ hold 'im down?"

Everyone stared flatly at her. "Lee, we're talking about a guy who can lift houses like it's nothing. And now he's twice as strong with that Gordon Mask of his. You _really_ don't think Ed's got this?"

"_Goron_ Mask, Eddy," Tatl corrected.

Lee shut her trap as memories of Ed hoisting up that big dead tree in the swamp came to mind. "Okay, point taken."

Ed put on the mask and transformed. "Ed is ready for this rodeo!" he cried, bracing himself in front of the giant bull.

Everyone else backed into the door area tucked away from the rest of the arena as Marie readied a Fire Arrow. As she aimed at the frozen robot, she hesitated momentarily. She could tell that the others were similarly nervous. There was no telling what would happen once that ice melted. "Okay, Marie," she whispered to herself. "You can do this."

And she fired.

13


	23. Masked Mechanical Monster

**Sorry for the huge bout of inactivity, folks. Not just on this story, but online in general. It's been a deadly combination of laziness, being sick, and entire days spent playing Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. (holy balls, the Shadow Queen really is as tough as they say, got my second game over from her) But at least I have something to show for my long period of inactivity! And you guys thought this story was dead…**

**Warning: rant ahead. If you don't care about a certain Larry fellow, feel free to skip the following wall of text.**

**Ah, Larry…I had begun to hope that you had grown bored of your rather petty, insane hatred of me, but I guess I was expecting too much, hm? Still, I fail to see how a story suddenly becomes garbage to you just because it didn't update as often as you wanted it to. I also don't understand how it has prompted such hatred from someone like you that you not only leave scathing pseudo-reviews I cannot remove, (though I'll admit I brought that on myself when I boasted about erasing your anon messages) but you also stalk other sites, actively seeking information on me out to use against me in an insulting manner. Obviously you have browsed my DeviantART page, since you learned of my brony status and proceeded to label me as a…oh, what was that charming term you used? Ponyfag, I think it was. And then, mere days after I had posted a recommendation for this story on TVTropes in an admittedly-shameless act of self-promotion, miraculously, you stumbled across it, despite me never having mentioned doing so to anyone, and just in time to see it be "deleted for being the garbage it is", I think your words were. While I'll admit I was concerned by this revelation at first, one thing stood out to me as suspicious. Like any given wiki site, anyone who has an account can edit all entries to their heart's content. Rarely does someone on a professional (at least in terms of the site management) level intervene on a new entry in any given case, and usually those who have edited my past entries on the site have been fellow amateurs who just happened to know a little more than me or found a better wording for what I was trying to say. So to say that you "saw" it get deleted sounds more to me like you deleted it yourself in yet another opportunistic chance to spite me for whatever reason that's running through your hate-driven, boorish mind. This revelation has enabled me to continue seeing this story for what it **_**really**_** is, a work of art like any story on this site. It has its flaws, I grant that. But the outpouring of support on behalf of my friends, many of which started out as my fans, has yet again reminded me that friendship is more powerful than hate, which, incidentally, is the message My Little Pony gives us, rather than supporting bestiality, as you seem to insist. While your actions will prompt me to be more cautious about interacting with TVTropes, your hate campaign has yet again failed in its mission. I will continue to write, my fans will continue to enjoy what I write, and I'm certain you will continue to hate it. I just hope one day you come to realize all the time and energy you wasted in the process, and become a better person for it. Peace out, chum.**

**And without further ado, let's begin this chapter!**

**XXXXX000XXXXX**

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Masked Mechanical Monster**

A great hissing noise erupted throughout the room as the massive block of ice began to melt around the giant mechanical monster of Snowhead. Ed stood in front of the towering bull and planted his feet against the ground, bracing himself for what he knew would be an epic wrestling match. Everyone else moved over towards the door to get out of the range of any thrashing that might ensue from the gargantuan machine. As the last of the ice melted into a giant puddle, the great magical construct shuddered once.

Then again.

And finally, the sound of gears and other mechanical parts whirring echoed throughout the chamber as Goht finally awakened, its ponderous head moving from side to side as though it were surprised at being awakened from its slumber. Finally Goht took notice of the figure standing before it and looked down to see a startlingly-familiar Goron standing defiantly before it. It failed to notice the others in its shock. The robot's mouth opened and closed, as though it were struggling to find words for this predicament.

"_YOU_…_I SAW YOU FALL_," Goht finally boomed, its deep, mechanical voice throbbing in everyone's ears. "_I WATCHED YOU DIE. AND YET ONCE MORE, YOU STAND BEFORE ME_."

Ed smirked, deciding to settle right into the role offered to him. "I am not so easily slain, foul beast!" he proclaimed in a boastful, but decidedly-airheaded voice.

Goht seemed to sneer at this. "_IT SEEMS YOU DID NOT SURVIVE THE FALL UNSCATHED. STILL, TO SURVIVE SUCH A FALL DESPITE LANDING ON YOUR HEAD…I WILL HAVE TO BE MORE THOROUGH WITH DISPATCHING YOU_."

"Did the giant robot actually just take a stab at Ed's intelligence?" Lee muttered in dumb shock.

"DO YOUR WORST! I AM READY!" Ed declared.

"_THEN I SHALL GLADLY DESTROY YOU A SECOND TIME, DARMANI THE THIRD_!" Goht roared.

The raging bull ripped itself out of the metal wall, shattering it as it charged forward at Ed, lowering his horns in preparation to gore him. Ed promptly seized hold of the monster's horns, bringing Goht to a skidding stop. Transfigured Goron and giant robotic bull engaged in a battle of strength, each trying to gain enough footing to topple the other. To the kids' surprise, Ed was actually showing visible signs of struggling, despite his enhanced strength.

"Rrrngh…what're you guys waiting for?!" Ed cried out, gritting his teeth.

The others finally shook themselves out of their stupor. "Kankers! With me!" Link cried. "Go for his legs! Double D, look for some kind of hatch or weak point Eddy might be able to toss a bomb into!"

However, the moment they all moved to complete their tasks, Goht detected them out of the corner of its eyes. "_YOU BROUGHT FRIENDS THIS TIME_," the robotic monster observed before it abruptly changed its strategy.

Goht suddenly charged up energy in its horns, which then surged through Ed's body, causing him to cry out in pain and slacken his grip. Goht then tossed its head up, flinging Ed into the air and sending the teen crashing headlong into the other metal wall. The impact shattered the wall, revealing the rest of the chamber to be a massive circular arena that wrapped around the central tower in a vast loop.

"ED!" everyone cried in unison, May's shriek by far being the most distressed.

And then Goht turned towards them, staring down at Link, the remaining Eds, and the Kankers with deadly intent. "_CURIOUS IT IS THAT HUMANS WOULD INVOLVE THEMSELVES IN THE AFFAIRS OF GORONS_," Goht mused. "_THAT WAS A MISTAKE, FOOLS. ONE THAT SHALL COST YOUR PATHETIC, MEANINGLESS LIVES_."

Link raised his shield and stood protectively in front of the others. Marie quickly fired an arrow at Goht's face. The monstrous construct didn't even flinch as the arrow harmlessly bounced off its heavy plates. Eddy threw a bomb at Goht, hoping to at least get it to back off, only for Goht to unleash a discharge of lightning from its horns, detonating the bomb in mid-air.

Edd knew he couldn't get close enough for his Poe's Lantern to be of any use, and even then he was unsure whether or not the magical flames would help against a mechanical enemy. "Oh God, what do we do?" he whimpered more to himself than anyone else.

Meanwhile, Ed groaned underneath the wreckage, pain wracking his body from the impact. "Oww…Ed needs a band-aid for his boo-boos."

He couldn't feel his arms or legs enough to struggle to his feet, and he could barely hear the cries of his friends as Goht advanced on them.

His friends…they were going to get hurt, and he couldn't do a thing to help them. His strength had not been enough to overcome the guile of that terrible beast, and now it was going to hurt his friends while he was helpless to stop it.

_Ed_…

Ed was surprised by the sudden voice in his head. "Huh?"

_Ed, carrier of my legacy, listen carefully…You hold my soul and power in your hands. Now, take my memories, and realize the true extent of your new abilities_.

Before Ed could reply, his head suddenly filled with memories that were not his own. He could see and feel the power of fire behind his punches, the spikes of magic steel protruding from his body as he rolled along the ground at high speeds like his second-favorite Godzilla kaiju, Anguirus…

And as his true might made itself known to him, Ed felt the strength in his body returning, filling him with new energy, and the will to carry on, for the sake of his friends. This was it. This was his chance to be the monster-slaying hero he had always dreamed of being. With this in mind, Ed rose to his feet and saw Goht seemingly sneer at his obviously-panicking friends. Even Link looked unsure of how to fight this gargantuan monster. It was time to fight.

"_YOUR ATTEMPTS TO DAMAGE ME ARE PITIFUL_," Goht proclaimed ominously, pawing at the floor with enough force to shake the ground. "_AGAINST THE MACHINE, MAN CANNOT PREVAIL_."

But before Goht could attack, it suddenly felt its hind legs pulled back, causing Goht to lose its balance and fall flat on its underbelly. Everyone looked to see Ed holding both of Goht's hind legs in his mighty grip, leaving the monster unable to struggle out of it. "Without the man, THERE IS NO MACHINE!" Ed roared, and with a mighty bellow, he drew upon every ounce of his herculean strength and threw Goht over his head, sending the bull careening down the arena until it hit the ground, rolling a few times for good measure until it came to a stop on its side.

"YEAH, BIG ED!" May cheered.

"YOU SHOW 'IM, MONOBROW!" Eddy yelled.

"Guys, don't cheer yet," Link warned. "This fight's just getting started."

Indeed, Goht was picking itself off the ground, and looked about as enraged as a killer machine could possibly get. "_DARMANI_!" Goht bellowed, its thunderous, mechanical voice echoing throughout the chamber.

Goht raised his head, gathering electricity in his horns before he discharged a bolt of blue lightning at his distant adversary. Ed easily side-stepped the attack, glaring at his foe.

Eddy could see that Ed was planning something, which went against everything he knew about his oafish friend. "Ed, what're you gonna do?" he demanded, having a feeling he wasn't going to like it.

"Be a hero," was Ed's only reply before he curled himself up into a ball and began rolling towards Goht, who pawed at the ground once before barreling forward as well.

Realizing what was going on, Eddy's eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets. "IS HE OUT OF HIS FREAKING MIND?!"

Link suddenly smiled knowingly. "Don't worry, Eddy. He's got this."

"How can you be so sure?!" Edd cried, worried sick for his friend.

"You have no idea just how tough a Goron's hide can be," Tatl said as she observed.

As she said this, a terrible metallic BANG echoed in their ears, causing them all to jump as they witnessed the source of the noise. Ed and Goht had smashed head-on into each other, knocking both opponents back. Ed unrolled and got to his feet as he landed on the ground. Goht was not as fortunate, spinning upside down before coming to a crashing halt on its back, its legs flailing as the monster struggled to right itself. Once Goht had done so, the result of the collision was blatantly apparent.

Goht's face had been smashed to a near-unrecognizable mess. It seemed the damage had also disabled its ability to speak, for all it could release was a garbled roar laced with static. Black smoke ebbed from its ruined face as a few crackles of electricity ran up and down its body. But even so, Goht was far from beaten. The monster turned away from Ed and proceeded to stampede down the arena in the opposite direction.

"Oh, no you don't!" Ed yelled, rolling back into a ball and taking off in the other direction, intending to ram it again.

He barely registered his friends' encouraging cheers as he passed them, intent on finding his adversary. However, the more he continued, the more he realized that he should have come into contact with Goht already. It was then that he realized that the monster had changed directions, and was now moving in the same direction he was.

Which meant it had ample time to refocus its attention on the others while he tried to catch up.

Eddy was the first to see Goht emerging from around the corner, more electricity crackling in its horns as it charged brazenly forward. "Guys, guys, GUYS!" Eddy screeched in a panic, pointing at the quickly-approaching robot. "HE'S COMING BACK!"

Suddenly Goht fired a ball of electrical energy ahead of it, aiming for the clustered group of kids. They only had a split-second to react. "SCATTER!" Link cried.

They all dove in different directions to avoid the attack, which exploded against the ground where they had all been standing a second before. It was too late that they realized that was exactly what Goht wanted. Marie scrambled to her feet just in time to see Goht bearing down on her, its horns lowered.

Marie could not stop the scream of terror from escaping her throat.

"MARIE!"

And suddenly the middle Kanker sister felt herself shoved out of the way. The girl looked back just in time to see her black-hatted savior, the one who had been closer to her than the others after they had separated, get thrown up into the air by Goht's horns in her place. Time seemed to slow for her, dragging out that heart-stopping, horrifying moment as she saw the man she loved taking the proverbial bullet for her.

"DOUBLE D!" Marie cried at the top of her lungs, heedless of the gigantic robot skidding to a stop and turning around in preparation to charge again. All she could see in her mind was Edd's bloodied, still body splayed out on the ground.

"DOUBLE D! OH MY GOD! DOUBLE D!" Eddy shrieked, he and Marie abandoning all sense of self-preservation and rushing to Edd's side.

Goht seemed to laugh as it began to charge once again.

"YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR HURTING DOUBLE D, YOU MONSTER!" May cried as she swung her sword at Goht's front leg.

Having not expected the sudden attack, Goht tripped and fell flat on its mangled face. Seeing their foe downed gave Eddy a new sense of courage fueled by righteous anger as he fished a bomb out of his bag and chucked at Goht's face. "This is for Double D!"

The bomb exploded, eliciting a strangled cry from the monster as its circuits shattered from the blast. Another bomb blasted against its face, further stunning it. However, as Eddy reached for another bomb, Goht unveiled its last trick. The large, shield-shaped plate on its shoulder slid open, and the barrel of a cannon emerged from within, aimed directly at Eddy. All angry courage was gone in an instant. "Oh, you _gotta_ be kidding me," Eddy uttered.

And then Ed came to the rescue, smashing into the cannon so hard that the barrel bent sideways, rendering it useless. Ed got up to his feet, murder in his eyes as he approached the stunned Goht. "You aren't gonna hurt anyone anymore," he said, his voice a deadly calm as he stood in front of Goht's ruined, sparking face.

Link, Eddy, Lee, and May joined him, surrounding the beaten monster with equally deadly glares. Ed let out a furious bellow and began wailing on Goht with all his might, his fiery punches smashing in the beast's skull and reducing it to smoldering scrap. The rest of the monster jerked as electricity surged through its body before it suddenly slackened, the hissing and whirring of its gears and cranks ceasing. Ed finally quit punching, allowing Tatl to mutter in horrified awe, "Wow, Ed…I would have said that was a little overkill…but that thing _deserved_ it."

The second they knew Goht was dead, they all rushed back over to Edd, who was cradled in Marie's arms as she shook him desperately. "Double D!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "Don't you fucking _dare_ die on me! Wake up! Please!"

"Sockhead!" Eddy yelled, tears beginning to spill from his own eyes. "Come on, man! I know you're stronger than this! Wake up! For the luvva God, Double D, say something!"

Ed ripped off his mask, returning him to his normal human form, and also knelt by Edd. "Don't go into the light, Double D! We are not complete without you!"

Edd, however, was unresponsive to any of this. His eyes were closed, blood trickling freely down his forehead. They all feared the worst; this adventure had taken one of them.

Through all of this, Tatl, unbelievably, had enough control of her senses to turn towards Link and say, "Link, _don't you have something that can help him_?"

Link blinked for a moment before it finally came to him, his eyes widening in realization.

"Marie," Link called out to the grieving blue-haired girl. Seeing that she did not register him speaking to her, he tried again, louder this time. "Marie, listen to me!"

Marie looked up at him, silently begging him to do something. "Marie, is he breathing?" Link asked urgently.

Daring to hope, Marie pressed her ear against Edd's mouth, and almost felt her heart give out as she barely felt breath escaping from the boy's lips. "Yes! Yes he is! Oh thank God, he's alive!"

"Then he has a chance!" Link exclaimed. "Everyone, get back!"

He then fished something out of his inventory, something they had all forgotten about over the course of their journey.

A bottle of Blue Potion.

Everyone gasped as hope was instantly rekindled. Link rushed over to Edd's side and knelt, uncorking the bottle. "Lift his head up," Link instructed Marie.

Marie sniffed and did so. Link then slowly began to pour the life-giving elixir down Edd's throat until it was empty. The effect was almost immediate, and nothing short of miraculous. Before their eyes, the scrapes, cuts, and bruises faded away, blood returned to the inside of his body, and his eyes fluttered open as he took notice of his surrounding friends and loved ones. Seeing that most of them were crying, he smiled and poked at Marie's shirt, dampened by her tears. "Are those salt deposits…from your lamentation?"

The reply he got was a massive, tearful group hug. Everyone joined in, even Link and Lee, laughing in joy as they proclaimed their happiness and relief to the heavens that Edd was alright. Edd could barely breathe under all the weight, but he smiled nonetheless, glad to see that he had so many people who cared about him. Finally they all separated, with Marie abruptly slapping Edd on his chest, causing the startled boy to cry out. "Don't you _ever_ scare us like that again!" she demanded. "Especially me!"

She then wrapped him up in a hug. Edd chuckled despite himself and whispered in her ear, "I'd lay down my life for you. For all of you. I can't promise it won't happen again on such a dangerous journey. Though I'll try to ensure I don't end up taking the hit in your place next time."

"Ya better not, you crazy son of a bitch," Lee said with a frown. "But still, you saved my sister. I don't think any of us can stay mad at you for that."

"As long as we're all alive at the end of the day," Edd replied, nodding to her.

Still, it was a sobering reminder to all of them about how dangerous their adventure truly was. This wasn't anything like the scams that had an awful tendency to blow up, sometimes literally, in the Eds' faces. This wasn't an instance of them letting their imaginations run wild, like the Eddy's Creek Cruise incident or Ed's stint as a giant costumed monster. This was the real deal; real adventure, real monsters, real danger.

As the group collectively pondered this, a ball of light suddenly flitted out of the sparking ruin that had once been Goht. Tatl noticed it first and gasped. "Guys, look! It's the Stray Fairy!"

They all turned around and saw the relieved Stray Fairy fly up to them. "Oh, kind young ones!" she exclaimed in a tiny voice. "Thank you for saving us from that horrible Goht!"

"Us?" Eddy repeated, confused.

They got their explanation in the form of the entire arena fading away into a familiar sight. Once more, the group found themselves in a large, mist-covered chamber, standing on a lone platform surrounded by water. This time, however, the atmosphere had a more reddish tint to it rather than the green of Woodfall. And soon enough, a giant pair of legs faded into view, towering above the kids and obscuring their owner in the thick mists.

"We did it, guys!" Link exclaimed with a relieved smile. "The second Giant is free!"

The Giant began to elicit its booming trumpeting call. Wincing, Edd asked, "What's he trying to say, Tatl?"

"Um…" Tatl muttered. "Well, he says 'thank you', for starters. Hold on…"

After a few more moments of trying to interpret the Giant's words, she finally began to translate, "He says…the path…to the next giant…lies in the hands…of the pirates of the western coast. The path to the next Giant lies in the hands of the pirates of the western coast!"

"The hell does he mean by that?!" Lee demanded.

With that, the scenery faded away, and the group found themselves outside the entrance to Snowhead Temple. To their surprise, not only was there no longer snow falling, but sitting on a lone peak across the chasm was the Biggoron that had once been tasked with keeping trespassers away from the temple. He was rubbing his head, as though trying to ward away a headache. He didn't appear to notice the tiny kids staring up at him as he mused in a booming voice, "**What am I doing herrrrrrrrrrrre? I can't rrrrrrememberrrrrrr the past few weeks…ugh, my poorrrrrrrrrrr head**…"

"Huh, so that's why he was trying to keep us away from the temple," Link thought out loud. "Skull Kid must have put him under some kind of spell."

Tatl looked troubled by this. "Even when Skull Kid got his hands on that stupid mask, he was mostly in it for pranks and stuff." Everyone looked up at her as she reflected bitterly. "Mean-spirited as they started getting, he still thought of them as just pranks…but all the stuff he's doing now…imprisoning the Giants, poisoning an entire swamp, cursing the Gorons with eternal winter, and then putting up monsters and brainwashing innocent people to hinder us…these aren't just more pranks. These are deliberate, all serving a bigger purpose."

Link looked concerned. "Tatl…are you okay?"

Tatl sighed. "I just…I don't get it, that's all. Why did he suddenly go from pranks to _actively trying to end the world_ and making an effort to prevent us from stopping it? I just don't understand…this whole thing's just freaking crazy."

Link gave her a sympathetic smile, understanding what was going on. The gravity of the situation was getting to her. Someone she cared for as a friend had changed suddenly and drastically for the worse, and she had been helpless to stop it, and was now paying for not seeing it before. Tatl huffed in a rather haughty manner that betrayed the fact that she was close to tears. "There's times when I'm either resting or thinking, and I remember how my brother got hit by Skull Kid…a-and every time I do, I feel sick inside. I mean…my best friend hurting my only family. *sniff* None of this would have happened if it weren't for that STUPID MASK!"

Everyone kept silent, allowing Tatl to vent her frustrations. "I'm so mad at him for everything he's done, but I'm also scared for him, because I know that _thing_ is the cause of it. I should have listened to that crazy salesman's warnings…we all should have. Maybe then…maybe we could have changed his mind, a-and none of this would have happened."

Finally Link decided to speak up. "Tatl, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. The good stuff, and the bad. Even when bad things happen, some good can come out of them. Yeah, this could have been prevented if you had managed to convince Skull Kid not to steal that mask, but then some good things might not have happened as a consequence."

Tatl scoffed bitterly. "What good things?"

Link smiled and spread his arms out, indicating the rest of the group. The rest of them shared his warm, welcoming smile save Eddy and Lee, who looked off to the side with disinterest that, admittedly, wasn't entirely genuine. "You wouldn't have made some new friends, for instance," Link said.

Tatl looked surprised by this. "W-what are you talking about?! I'm only with you guys because you're the only ones who can stop all this and save my brother!"

"That may be true," Edd interjected. "But regardless of the circumstances of your inclusion in our escapade, I think it's safe to say you don't really think of us as merely a means to an end."

Tatl remained silent, obviously conflicted.

"Just admit ya like hangin' around us already and be done with it," Lee sighed in a somewhat over-dramatic fashion, adding to the feel-good atmosphere in her own convoluted way.

Tatl huffed again, thankful that her fairy glow was hiding the blush on her tiny cheeks. "Ugh…I guess…you _guysarekindofalright_…" she finished in an embarrassed, barely-distinguishable mumble. "But your breath still stinks, Carrot Top!" she shot back at Lee in a vain attempt to regain some semblance of dignity.

Lee just smirked and gave the flustered fairy a sarcastic middle finger. "Up yours, Tinkerbell."

"And if I may just add," Edd pointed out, sharing a glance with Marie, "that had we not all been shanghaied into this venture, Ed, Eddy, and I would still be dealing with the aftermath of a failed scam that would likely leave the rest of the cul-de-sac unhappy with us for at least a solid week, Eddy would undoubtedly be trying to think up a new one already that could only end similarly in disaster…"

Overhearing this, Eddy muttered, "Oh yeah…almost forgot about that. Ugh, so not looking forward to that when we get back."

"…and most importantly," Edd continued, "we would never have discovered the true beauty that lies underneath these lovely ladies' admittedly rough exteriors."

Marie giggled as she cuddled up to her man. "Eloquent as always, aren't ya, you handsome stud-muffin?"

"Jury's still out on that, as far as I'm concerned," Eddy grumbled, folding his arms.

Lee elbowed him with a throaty chuckle. "That jury reached a verdict a long time ago, buddy. Admit it."

Eddy repressed a blush and countered, "Oh yeah, they did. I think it was a 'you suck' verdict."

Lee grinned and leaned in towards Eddy. "Well, I _am_ a pretty good sucker. Maybe one of these days, I'll prove it to ya."

Eddy's face went beet-red in embarrassment as certain dirty thoughts entered his mind unbidden. To make matters worse, part of him couldn't decide whether to be repulsed by said images…or turned on. _GAH! Snap out of it, you idiot_! Eddy thought to himself. _So what if you guys've buried the hatchet?! That's still Lee freakin' Kanker you're imagining goin' to town on your...GAACK! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME_?!

"And I discovered that girl germs are not to be feared!" Ed declared, draping an arm around May and squeezing her shoulders, eliciting a giggle from the youngest Kanker. "Girl germs MAKE ED STRONGER!"

Edd chuckled. "Well that's something I honestly never expected you to say, Ed. But I guess it counts, in its own way."

Observing all this, Tatl shook her head and grumbled, "You guys are dorks. Can we just get a move on, please?"

"Sure thing, Tatl," Link agreed. "C'mon, guys. Let's get this Stray Fairy back to her fountain and be on our way."

Tatl flitted ahead of them, ensuring that none of them could see the smile that fought its way onto her face.

10


	24. A Day At The Goron Races

**Chapter Twenty-Four: A Day At The Goron Races**

**Ho man, beware guys. Long-ass chapter ahead. Probably the longest I've ever written in any of my stories. I've been looking forward to writing this one for a while. We get both some development from the EddyxLee pairing, in their own twisted, unorthodox way (beware, while no actual sex happens, it's still kinda saucy), and I finally get to throw Eddy a bone here towards the end. I'm way too generous to my story characters, sue me.**

**XXXXX0000XXXXX**

(Night of the First Day, 3:15 am, 33 hours, 45 minutes remain)

_Inside the Fairy Fountain of Snowhead_…

Link, Tatl, the Eds, and the Kankers all watched as the Stray Fairies condensed together into a single form. Restored to her true self, the Great Fairy unleashed a hearty laugh as she floated over the heroes. She looked identical to her sisters in Clock Town and Woodfall, but this time, her hair matched the color of her Stray Fairy forms, a dark pink. "Oh, it feels so wonderful to be in my true form again!" she proclaimed. "Kind young ones, your courage and generosity know no limits. Thank you for restoring me!"

"It was no trouble," Link answered.

"Like hell it wasn't," Lee muttered.

Lee then happened to glance over at Eddy, who was staring at a certain part of the admittedly scantily-clad Great Fairy with a stupid grin on his face, a small bit of drool leaking out of his mouth. Naturally this agitated every jealous bone in her body, and she was about to go over there and wipe that horny expression off his face when Edd happened to notice that same expression and acted first.

"Eddy, it's impolite to stare at anyone in such a manner, much less a lady!" Edd chided. "Have you no shame?!"

This managed to snap Eddy enough out of his trance for him to reply indignantly, "Oh, come on, Double D! You gotta admit that's one smokin' hot dame! Are all them Great Fairies like this?!"

Tatl could barely contain her outrage. "Y-you pervert! That's a Great Fairy you're talking about! What is wrong with you?!"

Link immediately turned towards the Great Fairy and desperately said, "I apologize for my companion's rudeness. He's just, uh…"

The Great Fairy just chuckled. "Do you honestly believe he is the first human to react this way?"

"W-well, I do have to admit your style of dress is rather…_risqué_," Edd admitted, blushing profusely as he tried not to succumb to his hormonal desire to follow his friend's example and thus likely anger his girlfriend, who was indeed watching him with a critical eye.

"Ain't it pronounced '_risky_'?" Eddy replied, staring back up at the Great Fairy's barely-concealed breasts and waggling his eyebrows with a lecherous grin. "Cuz you're right. A dress made outta leaves sure is risky…could blow right off with just a little wind…"

Eddy's amorous chuckle was roughly cut short as he abruptly felt himself pulled back by his collar. "Alright, that's it! Outside with you!" Lee angrily growled, dragging Eddy back towards the entrance.

"ACK! Lemme go!" Eddy protested as he struggled to release himself from the jealous Kanker's vice-like grip.

"You men, I freakin' swear," Lee muttered irritably as she and Eddy disappeared outside.

Once they were gone, Edd addressed the Great Fairy. "I hope you can forgive our friend. He doesn't really have much of a filter between his brain and mouth."

The Great Fairy chuckled again. "Do not trouble yourselves over it. I am more than used to such attention. Though, a mortal would have to do far more than simply flirt if they expect one such as me to reciprocate. Ah, but I digress. You deserve a reward for your efforts, as I know you did them for the good of all rather than solely for your own benefit."

Edd had to bite back his automatic response that such a gesture was unnecessary, as it most certainly was, given their journey. He was still unused to the idea of accepting rewards for helping others, as he believed, in his selfless, good-natured heart, that helping others was a reward unto itself. So, he settled for watching as the Great Fairy lifted her arms over her head, a ball of white light igniting between her palms. All watched as the ball of light floated over their heads before lowering itself to the ground. The light then dispersed, leaving behind a beautifully-decorated two-handed sword. It was made with some sort of dark-colored metal, for the edges were black. The center of the blade was a metallic green, with a design of a rose etched into the surface and painted with red.

"This is the Sword of the Great Fairies," the Great Fairy explained. "Forged long ago by my sisters and I at the direction of the Four Giants, for they prophesied that a hero would one day have great need of it. I hereby bequeath this mighty blade upon you. Use it as you see fit, kind young ones."

Then, with another laugh, the Great Fairy blew a kiss towards all of them, sending magical energies coursing through their bodies that rejuvenated them all, even the ones who were currently outside. All weariness and fatigue left their bodies in an instant, ensuring that they would not need any rest on this night. "Remember, when battle has made you weary, feel free to see me again," the Great Fairy said, and with a final laugh, she descended into her fountain.

Now alone, the group all looked down at the Great Fairy's Sword. "Okay," Link said. "Who's gonna take this? I already have a sword of my own."

"So do we," Marie added. "Looks too heavy for any of us to carry anyway."

"I think I will refrain from claiming it as well," Edd said. "I've already proven incapable of wielding such a weapon, and I feel more comfortable with my Poe's Lantern anyway."

"And no way in the Dark World am I letting Eddy have it," Link pointed out, which received nods of agreement from Edd and Marie, Ed and May currently lost in their respective worlds. "He's bad enough with his bombs."

Edd tapped his chin, thinking carefully about their choices, when an offhand glance at Ed as his dopey friend and May splashed at the water flowing endlessly down the fountain chamber's walls gave him an idea. "Why don't we give it to Ed?" Edd suggested.

Link, Marie, and Tatl all stared at him incredulously. "Ed?" Marie asked. "You're actually suggesting we give it to _Ed_?"

"Think about it!" Edd replied, defending his viewpoint. "All of us have a weapon that can slay whatever foe encounters us." They nodded, which Edd then responded with, "except Ed."

The realization hit them like a ton of bricks. Edd had a point. While Link and the Kankers had swords of their own, Edd had his lantern, and Eddy had his bombs, all Ed had to defend himself with was a Deku stick and some Deku nuts to go with it, unless he used the Goron Mask, which admittedly would not be useful everywhere. Link sighed and slumped his shoulders. "I guess you have a point, Double D," he said, glancing over at Ed and May as they were currently embroiled in a splashing war, sloshing the wall water at each other and giggling merrily all the while, unaware of the conversation going on that concerned them. "But given Ed's, um…_eccentricity_, I worry that he may inadvertently injure one of us by accident."

"A fair point," Edd reasoned. "But I believe convincing Ed of this sword's lethality will prompt him to treat it more carefully so that such an incident doesn't occur."

"I'll definitely hold you to that," Link replied.

With the debate settled, Edd turned towards Ed and shouted, "Ed, come over here! We have something for you!"

"OH BOY, FOR ME?!" Ed cried, rushing over to them dripping wet, with May right behind him and equally drenched. "What is it? What is it? What is it?"

Edd gestured towards the Great Fairy Sword. "Your very own sword, my dear fellow."

As soon as Ed laid eyes on the sword, his eyes lit up and a huge smile stretched across his face before he rushed over and seized it in his hand. With one hand, he held up the sword and proclaimed, "I AM LOTHAR, SLAYER OF DEMONS, SMITER OF EVIL, AND DEFENDER OF MAIDENS EVERYWHERE!"

May cupped her hands and gazed up at Ed with a lovestruck expression. "My hero!"

Everyone then noticed a scabbard with an attached strap appear over his shoulder, made to look like a match for the sword. "Well, that's certainly convenient," Edd mused before raising his voice to get his friend's attention. "Ah, Ed. Remember to be careful with that weapon. Unlike your stick, you could really hurt one of us if you randomly swing it about."

Ed nodded, his grin never wavering as he put the sword in its new sheath. "Will do, Double D!"

"Well, now that we've got that settled," Link spoke up, "let's go get the others and then pay the Gorons one last visit." Link's face lowered into a look of melancholy. "I…want them to know about Darmani's ultimate fate. It's only right that they learn the truth."

Everyone else shared his expression for a moment. "I agree," Edd replied. "Though they can at least rest easy in the knowledge that he helped us defeat Goht, in a way."

"And then off to the ocean, right?" Marie interjected.

"Um, yeah, about that," Link answered. "…Yeah, let's talk about that after we deal with the Gorons first."

Surprised by Link's response, Edd replied with, "Oh…alright, then."

They proceeded to follow Link and Tatl out of the Fairy Fountain, where they suddenly heard a strange noise that sounded a lot like two people kissing with the ferocity of tigers in heat. They all turned to see what was causing such a racket.

Link was the first to react. "OH MY GODDESSES!" he screamed in abject revulsion.

"Sweet Nayru's love, I'm gonna hurl!" Tatl cried, turning away from the scene playing out before them and trying not to throw up.

Edd put a hand to his mouth as he gasped in utter shock.

Ed screamed in horror and covered his eyes. "IT BURNS! IT _BUUUUURNS_!"

May looked on with bewilderment.

Marie was fighting back a grin. _Damn, look at 'em go_.

Eddy and Lee were engaged in what appeared to be an intense make-out session. Lee was laying against the wall, with Eddy on top of her as the two of them locked lips, their hands groping each other's necks and backs, while Eddy occasionally reached towards, um…_different_ places, lifting up Lee's shirt significantly in the process. Both were breathing heavily between kisses, and didn't appear to notice their companions at first staring at them with varying degrees of shock.

However, Eddy's eyes suddenly opened, as if he had finally realized what was going on, and suddenly scrambled back with a startled, "W-what the hell?! _WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST DO_?!"

As if to confirm his worst fears, Lee chuckled flirtatiously as she stood up, causing everyone to notice that her belt was undone and her fly halfway-down. "Holy shit, Eddy," she congratulated as she zipped her pants back up and adjusted the hem to just below her belly button before tucking her shirt in and buckling her belt. "You're a _damn_ good kisser when ya get into it. I knew I picked the right man, in the end."

Meanwhile, Eddy was starting to hyperventilate as he sat on his rear, his eyes wide as saucers. "I _kissed_ a _Kanker_! _I KISSED LEE FREAKING KANKER_!" he cried, unable to believe he had actually committed a sin so great in his eyes.

"Um…y-yes, i-it certainly looks t-that way," Edd stammered, quite sure that image was burned into his mind for all eternity. "P-pardon my French, but…_**what in the Sam Hill happened**_?!"

"HIS BRAINS WERE SUCKED OUT, DOUBLE D!" Ed yelled, horror-struck. This was ignored by everyone else.

Eddy shook his head, trying to think about how he could have let himself do such a thing. "I-I don't know! One minute Lee was yellin' in my face, the next moment I'm straddlin' her like a…a…GAH, I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT!"

Eddy gripped his head in his hands and rocked back and forth, muttering something inaudible under his breath. Since it was obvious they wouldn't get more out of him than that, Edd reluctantly looked to a still-smirking Lee for clarification, though he was rather unsure whether or not he actually wanted to know what had happened. "Um…L-Lee…w-w-would you mind g-giving us your s-s-side of the story?"

Lee grinned at what was sure to be a memory that would last for years to come. "Well…as you could probably tell, I didn't take Eddy oglin' that Great Fairy chick too well. So, I dragged his ass outside."

Lee chuckled again, still reliving the moment in her head. "And?" Edd pressed.

Lee's grin widened. "I did spend a couple minutes yellin' at him about his wanderin' eye, but I realized that if I wanted to one up that freaky-haired skank back there, I had to take her game up a notch…remind my little dreamboat that he's got these babies right here for the takin'."

Much to their shock, Lee was gesturing towards her breasts, her grin never faltering.

"So I lifted my shirt up so he could finally see what he was missin' out on," she continued explaining.

"Oh good lord," Edd moaned, now with this terrible image wiggling its way into his subconscious.

Lee's grin was now at its widest. "And then I suddenly felt great, like I could take on the whole world. It came out of the blue, really. And before I knew it, Eddy's gropin' me somethin' fierce and I get the kissing of my life. They oughta rename this place Make-out Mountain!"

"Wait…Eddy? What caused you to, ehrm…finally give in to Lee's advances?" Edd asked hesitantly, suddenly having an idea.

Eddy shook his head furiously, as though he were still trying to clear it. "I…I don't freakin' know! She's suddenly flashin' me like one of them dames in my magazines, a-and I can't explain why, but suddenly I felt _really, really_ good. I-I don't know what came over me! It just…it just _happened_!"

It finally clicked in Edd's head. "The Great Fairy's healing magic!" he explained to his recovering comrades. "The revitalized feeling it gave all of us, combined with Eddy and Lee's, um…_situation_, must have sent their hormones into overdrive, resulting in…well, you saw it for yourselves."

"Remind me to never leave you two alone again," Link said with a shudder. "_Especially_ near a Fairy Fountain."

"Indeed," Edd added. "I don't think our poor hearts could take it."

"For the sake of our collective sanity, I suggest we get back to the task at hand," Tatl advised, trying to remove the recent events from her memory at all costs.

"And that is?" Lee asked as she glanced at Eddy, who was still trying to regain his composure.

"Letting the Gorons know about what happened to Darmani," Marie explained.

Lee nodded. "That sounds fair. Let's get goin' before Eddy has himself a hernia, shall we?"

XXXXXX

(Night of the First Day, 5:05 am, 49 hours, 55 minutes remain)

_Outside the Goron City_…

As they descended the mountain, the long-overdue arrival of spring became more apparent. The snow gave way to healthy green grass and brightly-colored flowers. The water that had once been frozen over had thawed out, allowing the Tektites to sit on its surface like oversized water striders, and the Wolfos had apparently shed their winter coats. Though spring had finally come, a chill wind still blew through the night air, though it wasn't nearly as bad as the blizzard had been. Busily hovering over the flowers and partaking in the sweet nectar were wasps of impressive size, large enough to take up a person's whole hand. Edd had quickly decided disturbing these "colossus wasps", as he had immediately dubbed them, for the sake of documentation was a _very_ bad idea, especially considering how much of a rush the whole group was in.

"You have a really weird obsession with bugs, Double D," Tatl observed.

Eddy, who had recovered somewhat from his whole Kanker experience, piped up, "Ha! You should see his room! He's got tons of bug collections! He even has an ant farm he takes care of!"

"And everything in it's labeled," Marie added with a giggle. "Down to his furniture."

Edd fought back a blush of embarrassment as his companions had a laugh at his expense.

"Took Ed 'n me forever to get him to kick the habit," Eddy laughed. "He literally couldn't stop himself from labelling everything around him!"

"I most certainly could, Eddy!" Edd protested indignantly. "I just happened to feel safer and more comfortable when I was assured that everything around me had a proper name and place."

"Double D, you did it to my room whenever you stayed over," Eddy answered flatly. "You even did it when we were sleeping outside during our little trip to Mondo A-Go-Go. It had to stop. We literally had to hide your labelling thingymajig in Ed's basement before we could actually get you to start tryin' to kick the habit."

"Ugh, I know," Edd groaned, putting a hand to his forehead. He then muttered, "Took me a whole week to get the smell of spoiled gravy out."

Link would have curled his lip up in disgust, but honestly, he wasn't surprised by this. Ed had already proven himself to be a walking, talking defiance of logic, nature, and good hygiene. Shaking his head, he strode up to the Goron in charge of opening the city door, who appeared to be fast asleep, curled into himself and looking more like a boulder than a person. Link boldly stepped forth and rapped his knuckles smartly against the slumbering Goron's rocky back, jarring him out of his sleep.

"Huh? Who'zere?" he slurred as he slowly got into a standing position. "Odd…feels a little less cold out…"

"You're welcome," Lee spoke up flatly.

The Goron sentry then did a double-take as he not only realized who was there, but that it was no longer snowing. It even seemed to be melting a little. The Goron scratched his head incredulously. "I don't believe it!" he exclaimed. "Has Goht been defeated? Has spring come at last?!"

Link nodded his head. "Indeed it has. Open the gate so we can give everyone the good news."

The Goron grinned. "I most certainly will!"

He then rolled into a ball and pounced into the air before slamming into the ground, causing the door below them to slide open. "Since spring has finally arrived, I think I can afford to keep the door open a little longer for you guys this time," the sentry informed them. "Still, I'd hurry up if I were you."

"Right," Link replied. "Let's go, everyone."

Once they were all inside, the group made their way past shivering Gorons who cast curious stares their way as they walked up the slope leading to the Goron Elder's chambers. "Goron Elder!" Link called out as they reached the top.

As it so happened, the Elder was shuffling out of the room himself, having just put his infant son to bed after a long night spent trying to console the still-distraught child. Once he saw them, a look of surprise flashed across his face. "You…what are you all doing back here?" he asked.

The kids all grinned as Marie said, "We can give you three guesses…or you can go outside and see for yourself."

The Elder stared at them in confusion for a moment before it finally dawned on him, a disbelieving glint in his eyes that held a trace of genuine hope. "…Is it true? Have…have you vanquished Goht?!"

"He ain't nothin' but a smolderin' pile'a scrap metal at the bottom of Snowhead Temple now," Lee answered. "We got your spring back, gramps."

The Elder's jaw dropped in shock. "Incredible…h-how did you accomplish this impossible feat?!"

Link's smile became a little sadder this time. "We had a little help, of course. Ed, show him the Goron Mask."

Ed complied, fishing the mask in question out of his pocket and holding it up for the Elder to see.

"I…don't understand," the Elder said uncertainly.

"Shortly after we left the confines of your city," Edd began to explain, "we encountered the spirit of your missing warrior, Darmani. I'm afraid he indeed was unable to best Goht, and was killed during the fight. He was bound to this earth in eternal heartbreak and regret for failing in his task, and we decided to lay his spirit to rest. In thanks, he left this mask for us. Ed, kindly put it on, please."

"Righty-o, Double D!" Ed declared as he put on the mask and transformed in a flash.

The Elder looked stupefied. "My word! He…he's the spitting image of Darmani!"

Edd nodded in confirmation. "In this way, we gave him the chance to fight again, and Ed here was the one who ultimately delivered the finishing blow. Spring has begun to return to the mountains, and by the time the sun rises, I wager much of the snow will have already melted."

The Elder finally smiled. "Thank you. Thank you so very much, brave travelers. I imagine that, if Darmani were with you in body as well as in spirit, he would wish to continue traveling with you. I have heard tell that many wrongs have yet to be righted in this world. I fear Goht was only the beginning. Keep his mask. May it serve you well as your adventure continues."

As the others conversed with the Elder, Eddy, bored out of his mind, happened to notice a poster pasted to the wall. Spying a nearby Goron milling around, he walked up to the Goron and said, "Hey, you!"

The Goron turned around and gestured to himself as if to confirm whether Eddy was talking to him.

"Yeah, you!" Eddy said, pointing his thumb at the poster. "What's that poster there say?"

"Oh!" the Goron replied, scratching his head. "That poster is an advertisement for the Springtime Goron Derby. It's a race we have every year to celebrate the coming of spring. It's a way for us Gorons to let off pent-up energy that gathers during our stay inside the city."

This caught Eddy's interest immediately. "A race, you say?"

He thought about this a moment. Where there were races, there were sure to be prizes. What if the prize in question was…_cash_? Dollar signs appeared in his eyes at the very thought of this, and he said, "So, what might be the prize?"

"A pouch of gold dust provided by the Elder," the Goron replied. "We still don't know where he gets it every year."

Eddy's eye twitched spastically as the information sunk in. "G…g…g-g-g-_gold_?!"

The Goron nodded in confirmation, but reeled back as he suddenly found an over-excited Eddy right up in his face. "Where's this race at?! C'mon, spit it out!" he practically screeched.

"Uh…" the Goron replied nervously. "It's being held at the Goron Race Track that's located near the entrance to the big lake outside the city coming up the mountain. You just turn right when you get there and go up the steep slope, and it's on the other side of a short tunnel."

Eddy's grin was borderline-psychopathic as he grabbed a still-transformed Ed by the sleeve of his jacket. "C'mon, Lumpy!" Eddy cried. "We got ourselves a race to win!"

"Here we go!" Ed declared, running after his money-crazed friend.

All of this went unnoticed by the others.

"That's very kind of you, Elder," Link thanked. "Darmani was a respected warrior, and we'll be certain to honor him by utilizing his strength in the battles to come."

"It is rather early in the morning, though," the Elder said. "Heroes you may be, but you are also still children, and you have been up the entire night traversing our revered temple. Do you wish to stay the night here and rest yourselves? I'm certain we can provide accommodations for you."

Link shook his head. "That's alright; we'll decline. We paid a visit to the Great Fairy up at the temple before we headed down here. We don't need any rest for the time being. Besides, with all the things we still have to do, sleep is a luxury we won't always be able to make time for."

The Elder nodded. "I understand. I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors, then. Now that spring is here, the Springtime Goron Derby can get underway. I imagine once I declare the news, quite a few Gorons will want to get to the racetrack right away. We usually hold it at 8 am sharp on the first day of spring, so we need to give them time to ready the track and allow participants to sign up. You may take some time to watch them, if you wish."

"I'm afraid we'll have to pass on that too," Link declined. "We really only have a limited time to complete our mission before disaster strikes the world. We really can't afford to waste any time on unnecessary distractions."

Finally Tatl noticed that their group was two members short. "Uh…guys?" she spoke up. "Where are Ed and Eddy?"

Everyone abruptly turned around and noticed as well that the two Ed boys were mysteriously absent.

"Ed? Eddy?" Edd called out in concern.

"Where in the hell did those knuckleheads run off to?" Lee growled irritably.

"Looking for your friends?" a nearby Goron suddenly spoke up.

"You see where they went?" Marie demanded.

The Goron nodded. "I told them about the derby we'll be hosting once spring comes, and they both took off for the racetrack. They looked so excited it almost scared me."

They all collectively groaned and face-palmed.

"Oh _no_," Edd spoke first, knowing that there was only one reason Eddy would want to participate in the race; money was somehow involved, probably serving as the prize. "Of all the times for his competitive streak and his greedy nature to kick in, it had to be now…"

"You gotta be kidding me," Link said.

"That bonehead and his obsession with money!" Lee added. "He's so gonna get it when I get my hands on him!"

"Great! Just freakin' fantastic!" Marie groaned. "They're probably halfway there already. If we don't catch 'em before they sign up, we'll probably have to sit through these stupid races anyway."

Edd sighed. "There's no way we can catch up to them," he admitted. "They're by far the fastest runners out of all of us, and even if Eddy eventually tires before he gets there, Ed will just keep on going."

"Perhaps it's better this way," the Elder spoke up, reminding them all that he was still there.

"And why is that?" Lee answered in a disagreeing tone.

"Well, Darmani was our star racer, and he always participated every year. He didn't always win; occasionally there was a lucky Goron that pulled ahead of him in the end, but he was still a good racer and a crowd favorite. If your friend does sign up for the derby, at least my people, in a way, will get to see their hero race one more time."

"Aw, I think that's really sweet of Big Ed!" May said with a dreamy smile.

Lee rolled his eyes. "He's only doin' it 'cause Eddy dragged the braindead doofus into it! Get your head outta the fog, May!"

"Nuh uh!" May argued. "My Big Ed's the nicest guy you'll ever meet! Even if Eddy's makin' him do it, I bet Ed said he would 'cause he wants to make these guys happy!"

Lee shook her head. "You're an idiot, May. You two really are meant for each other."

Edd, however, smiled at this. "It's really sweet of you to think so positively of Ed, May. I'm sure he'd appreciate it if he knew."

May's eyes lit up like stars at this, and she failed to suppress a girlish giggle.

"Why don't you all make your way over to the racetrack?" the Elder suggested. "Since it's so early, the stands are completely empty. You can find the perfect place to sit and watch long before any other spectators arrive."

Link sagged his shoulders. "I guess we don't have much of a choice, do we?"

_That jerk's gonna get it the next time I see him_, Link then vowed in his head.

"So where's this racetrack supposed to be anyway?" Marie asked.

"Go across the big lake outside of town until you reach the other side," the Elder answered. "Right before you continue down the mountain pass, there's a slope to your right that goes up a short ways. At the top is the entrance to the racetrack. It's always free admission, so you don't have to worry about paying to get in."

"Okay, we'll remember that," Edd replied. "Thank you for your time."

"And thank you," the Elder responded, "for bringing life and warmth back to my people."

XXXXXX

(Dawn of the Second Day, 6:00 am, 48 hours remain)

They had only made it to the first island before the first Gorons began to roll past them, rushing to get to the racetrack in time to sign up, prepare the obstacles, or find a good seat. Lee and Marie grumbled continuously at this, annoyed that the Gorons weren't really watching where they were going. May was as oblivious as always, having nearly gotten run over at least once, pulled out of the way just in time by a much more vigilant Lee.

Link was still irritated by the distraction that had cropped up out of the blue. While he was normally not one to decline a sidequest, especially if doing so meant the world to whoever requested it of him, the fact that they really were pressed for time here made it much more difficult to accept such tasks left and right. It was even more infuriating that Eddy had undertaken this sidequest of sorts purely for selfish reasons, as such tendencies were anathema to his caring, selfless nature.

Edd, like Link, firmly believed that doing good deeds for others was a reward unto itself. Truthfully speaking, many times he had become infuriated with Eddy over his continuous schemes, which were not only often dishonest in nature, but Eddy also made it clear that he was to get most of whatever money they miraculously made from the scams. Though Edd was at least grateful for the fact that Eddy's latest idea for making money involved a legitimate venture that he had not only not come up with himself, but could not actively participate in. He also doubted Eddy would be able to find some way to cheat his way to victory even if he tried, considering Ed was the one who would be participating in the race, since it was meant only for Gorons and Ed currently had the Goron Mask.

Though none of them would admit it, all of them were still curious to varying degrees about seeing this Goron Derby for themselves. Considering the Kankers were no stranger to sports channels, since Marie liked to watch NASCAR races, this could actually be interesting, if they allowed themselves to enjoy it.

With all of this in mind, the group of kids continued across the lake and the island chain that formed a way across until they finally reached the other side and saw the slope they were directed to go up. After a climb that left all of them, even Link, gasping for air, they finally reached the top and found the racetrack right where the Elder said it would be.

Once they were inside, they all looked around for any sign of Ed or Eddy. The Gorons that had arrived before them were either flexing, waiting in line to sign up, or heading up to the extensive bleachers that wound their way around the entire track to find an early seat. They looked around, but saw no sign of Ed, which meant he was likely wherever Eddy was. "Alright, Eddy's probably waiting somewhere up in the bleachers," Edd pointed out. "Hopefully Ed is with him. Let's go find them."

"Agreed," Link answered. "So I can wring his scrawny little neck," he finished under his breath.

Unfortunately for him, Lee overheard that last remark and gripped Link by the shoulder, squeezing none-too-gently as she said, "If anybody's gonna wring my greedy little dreamboat's neck, it's gonna be me! Got it, fairy-boy?!"

Link suppressed a grunt of discomfort as he nodded, "Fine. Have it your way."

Lee wordlessly released her grip on the boy hero's shoulder and took the lead up towards the bleachers. As Link rubbed his aching shoulder, he muttered to Edd, "How did you put up with these firecrackers for so long?!"

Edd shrugged his shoulders in reply. "Up until this adventure started, by running away as fast as we possibly could."

Link shuddered. "Girls are _crazy_."

Edd couldn't suppress a snort of amusement. "I guess that's one thing that doesn't change between worlds, huh?"

Before Link could reply, he was interrupted by Lee as she remarked darkly, "There he is."

Midway down the track, sitting at the back row of bleachers so he could get an uninterrupted view of the entire racetrack, was Eddy, leaning against the wall with his legs crossed and looking rather pleased with himself. Unfortunately, Ed was not with him either. Lee balled her fists as they approached and yelled, "HEY, ASSHOLE! YOU GOT A LOTTA NERVE TO PULL THE SHIT YOU JUST DID!"

Eddy's smirk immediately dropped as he saw his less-than-pleased compatriots advancing on him. The shortest of the Eds stood up and raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "Hey! The freakin' prize is gold dust, guys! GOLD. DUST. You have any idea how much of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that is?! No way was I gonna pass somethin' like that up!"

"In case you forgot, _Eddy_," Link growled, "we are on the clock here! Have you not been paying attention to that giant rock up there that's getting bigger every day?!"

For emphasis, Link pointed up at the looming moon, its maniacal face aimed down away from them towards Clock Town. Eddy glanced up at the moon, a brief glimpse of unease flashing across his face before it instantly vanished. "Oh, c'mon, Blondie! We still got two days! The race is gonna start in just a couple hours, and it probably won't even last five whole minutes! We got plenty of time, so just relax for a bit, will ya?! Jeez, you're worse than Double D sometimes!"

Marie folded her arms irritably. "Alright, so where's tall, dark, and stupid anyways?"

Eddy jabbed a thumb at the Gorons working throughout the racetrack as he sat back down. "I sent him off to go help them other guys. Felt like makin' a contribution, ya know? Might even help him win!"

Edd shook his head. "Eddy, if you sent Ed down there so he could sabotage the racetrack in his favor, you wasted your time. You know as well as I do that Ed would never cheat."

"I didn't send him down there to cheat!" Eddy replied indignantly. "Though I'm surprised I didn't think of that before…Anyways, I saw how the people who were already here were goin' crazy as soon as they saw him! I just wanted to build up his reputation a little more so he's got more people cheerin' for him 'cause they know he's a swell guy!"

Lee's frown deepened. "You just sent him off so we couldn't drag both your asses outta here when we found ya."

Eddy opened his mouth to refute that statement, but one look at Lee's critical, armor-piercing eye made the reply die in his throat. _Huh, never knew she wore eyeliner_, he thought to himself. _She'd almost look cute if she weren't glaring into my soul like that…wait, WHAT WAS THAT JUST NOW_?!

Lee took the conflicted look on Eddy's face as confirmation of his guilt and snorted, "Yeah. Thought so."

Lee's voice made Eddy snap out of his sudden trance. In an effort to erase that sinful voice from his mind, he turned his head back towards the racetrack and said, "Listen, guys. You're already here, Monobrow's already signed up, so why don't you all just sit back and enjoy the show?" He rubbed his hands together as a greedy smile stretched across his face. "I know I will."

"Unless Ed _loses_," Edd promptly pointed out.

The thought of that briefly derailed Eddy's euphoria, but he quickly recovered. That always managed to impress Edd, though the sock-headed genius would never admit it. "Nah, Lumpy's got this in the bag! You guys are worryin' over nothin'!"

"We don't really have much of a choice," Tatl sighed. "Let's just get this stupid thing over with."

Reluctantly in agreement, Link, Edd, and the Kanker sisters all sat down beside Eddy, with Edd and a still-cross Lee sitting closest to him. Lee's close proximity stirred a volume of emotions within Eddy, some familiar, others not so much. He didn't really want to think about it too hard, but her presence was both alarming and yet somehow…reassuring.

_Shit, I better not be goin' soft too_, Eddy silently berated himself before turning his attention towards the racetrack to distract his thoughts. _Eyes on the race, old boy…eyes on the race_…

Edd leaned forward so he could see Link's face and spoke up, "You mentioned at the Fairy Fountain that there was something you needed to talk to us about the ocean. Care to explain, since we now have the time?"

Link blinked as he remembered. "Oh! Yeah, I remember. Remember when we went to the swamp and came across those witches?"

Edd nodded. "I certainly do."

"Did they mention anything about a race of people called the Gerudo?"

Edd tapped his chin as he recalled the incident in question. "I don't believe so…but I do remember the one we found in the forest mentioning her 'sisters in the bay'. I think she said they were led by their niece, and had resorted to piracy to make ends meet."

Link nodded in confirmation. "I suspected as much. The Gerudo have always been a bit of a trouble-making sort. Back in Hyrule, they were thieves who lived in the desert. I won't say they were evil, since I've been around them long enough to know that they were just adapting to hard times. The only truly evil thing that came about from the Gerudo was Ganondorf. A lot of them actually stopped supporting him once his evil nature became fully known. So, it stands to reason that the Gerudo would make their living as pirates in this world."

Marie chose this moment to speak up. "Hey…I know you probably haven't thought of this, but have you wondered whether that Ganondork guy ya keep mentioning has his own look-alike here?"

Link shivered terribly, which was disconcerting to see, based on the bravery this kid had shown. "Goddesses, I hope not. I _really_ hope not. The fact his surrogate mothers do is a scary idea on its own."

"Well," Edd replied. "If you're referring to those witches in the swamp, they turned out to be quite amiable. Perhaps, if this Ganondorf fiend does indeed have his own equivalent here, maybe he is of a more benign nature as well."

Link folded his legs up against his chest and hugged them tight, losing himself in his memories. "I guess…that's the best we can hope for, really."

Marie shrugged. "I personally wouldn't worry about it. I mean, neither of those hags mentioned him at all. I mean, they even said the one in charge of these, uh…whad'ya call 'em again?"

"Gerudo," Link replied.

"Gerudo, right," Marie repeated. "Anyways, they said their niece was in charge of the Gerudo here. Since Ganondorf's obviously a dude, it can't possibly be him, right?"

Link sighed. "I…I suppose you're right." He looked up at them and flashed a somewhat tired smile. "Forgive me for my rudeness. A lot of people, me included, suffered during Ganondorf's reign."

"It's alright, Link," Edd assured him. "From what I can tell, you did manage to do away with him. It's better to move on with your life now that he's gone, right?"

Link scoffed. "Move on…yeah. Right. Not when your whole line of descendants is doomed to fight him for eternity."

Edd's heart nearly stopped at that revelation. "What…?"

Link abruptly shook his head. "No…you're right. Nevermind. Even if he does return, it won't be in my lifetime. We need to focus on the here and now."

"So are you gonna give us the details about these pirate babes or what?" Eddy interrupted impatiently.

Link shook his head. "Right, sorry. Anyways, the thing about the Gerudo is that, first and foremost, they are warriors. And are all female."

"What, you mean like the Amazons?" Eddy replied, intrigued.

"No idea who they are, but sure," Link offhandedly replied. "Anyways, the Gerudo are all kind of dark-skinned, red-haired women who wear lots of make-up, rather revealing sets of clothes, and are all pretty damn good with swords."

Eddy flashed a lascivious grin. "Heh heh heh…can't wait to meet 'em."

Link rolled his eyes. "…and they also harbor a great dislike for men, usually because of attitudes like yours, Eddy."

Lee, who had been about to slap Eddy silly, instead laughed heartily at this tidbit of knowledge. "Damn, they sound like fun!"

Edd repressed a slight shudder. "I'll admit; that description bears a great resemblance to the Kankers for most of the time we knew them."

Link rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised?" He then chanced a glance at Lee. "Actually, Lee, give you a set of Gerudo clothes, do your hair in a bun or a ponytail, and darken your skin a bit, and you could easily pass yourself off as a Gerudo."

"I suggest we hold onto that thought," Tatl advised. "Who knows? It might come in handy if we do end up crossing them."

Lee looked at Eddy and flashed a smug grin. "I keep tellin' ya, dreamboat! I got everythin' ya need right here. Ya just have to stop and look a bit."

Eddy folded his arms and looked away from her to hide the rosy tint on his cheeks. "Yeah, you wish, Kanker," he grumbled.

"Well, anyways," Link continued, "As I mentioned before, they're really good swordfighters. And, I hate to break it to you ladies, but you only possess basic training when it comes to swordplay. You've mostly gotten by on brute strength, but that really won't help you much if you ever cross blades with an experienced Gerudo warrior. I would know; even with my skills, Gerudo fighters have always been challenging opponents."

"So what're ya sayin'?" Lee asked in a somewhat-challenging tone.

"I'm saying that, before we head to the ocean, I'm gonna teach you girls, and possibly Ed too, a lot of stuff about swordplay you won't ever find in a training school."

"Why don't they teach it?" May asked.

"Because most teachers aren't Princess Zelda's personal retainer and one of the deadliest fighters in the entire world," Link answered plainly.

"Whoa," Eddy breathed, eyes widening.

Link nodded. "Both Princess Zelda and I were personally taught by Sage Impa of the Sheikah tribe. They're legendary assassins and swordfighters, and Impa was skilled enough to beat _Sage Nabooru_, who was the best swordsman the Gerudo had to offer, when they held a duel as a demonstration for a newly-opened training school for soldiers. I nearly _lost_ to Nabooru when I faced her after she had been brainwashed to serve Ganondorf, so I know for a fact I learned from the best. I'm a swordsmaster, obviously, while Zelda took up the mantle of an assassin."

"Aw, man, Hyrule's gotta be an awesome place if all the women there are that badass," Marie commented. "And you're gonna teach us how to be that badass too, huh?"

"I…guess?"

Lee scoffed. "I'm down with it, so long as you don't call any of us 'Grasshopper' or some shit like that."

Link quirked an eyebrow. "Why would I do that?"

Edd shook his head. "Movie reference. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh," Link replied in a tone that suggested he indeed didn't. "But yes, I do plan to train you all in both the Sheikah style of combat and a few moves I picked up from the Gerudo before we continue on. Sound like a plan?"

"Hell yeah!" May cheered.

"Man, I'm so lookin' forward to this," Marie added with a grin.

"Well, if you can teach us all how to be even more badass than we already are," Lee piped up, "I'll do it."

Link nodded at them with a smile, while inside his head, his voice of reason screamed, _what did you just get yourself into_?!

Finally Eddy caught their collective attention as he pointed excitedly towards the racetrack. "Look! Look! The race is about to start!"

Indeed, the Gorons had finished putting up the track, and those who were in the race were converging at the starting line and lining up. While the kids had been talking, more and more Gorons had arrived to fill the extensive set of bleachers. Though there was quite a bit of empty space remaining, as the Goron population was never truly enormous, their collective cheers and clapping still reached thunderous heights. Eddy was practically bouncing in his seat, grinning in anticipation for what he believed was sure to be an easy win. Seeing this, Link shook his head. "He's like a kid in a candy shop, really."

"Well, to be fair, we technically _are_ still kids," Edd pointed out.

Everyone then quieted as the Goron Elder arrived, shuffling his way to the center of the stadium as he cleared his throat and raised his arms. "Welcome, one and all, to the long-awaited 156th annual Springtime Goron Derby!" the Elder proclaimed, his voice remarkably carrying across the stadium.

The whole crowd cheered wildly, while the visiting humans just sat quietly. (well, Eddy was cheering too)

The Elder raised his hand for quiet. "Before we begin, though, I would like to extend my hearty thanks to the ones who brought back the spring that had been taken from us. Please welcome our human guests!" Being that Link, the Eds, and the Kankers were the only humans there, they stuck out like a sore thumb, allowing everyone in the stadium to see them as they clapped and cheered for their saviors. "And, of course, we cannot forget the one who helped them extensively in this endeavor…our very own reigning champion, Darmani the Third!"

The cheering grew even louder, and even the other kids decided to clap for Ed as the still-transformed teen waved at the crowd. Both May and Eddy were cheering with the rest of the crowd. Once the cheering had died down again, the Elder announced, "And now, with that out of the way, let us introduce this year's racers! From my left we have Darwin the Steadfast, Darbagar the Ironhide, our champion Darmani the Third, Darson the Unstoppable, and last but not least, Darius Senior the Overwhelming!"

The crowd cheered some more, mostly calling out Darmani's name, though each of the racers had their own fans, mostly friends and family. "Racers…take your places!" the Elder commanded.

Ed and his fellow racers all did so, curling up into balls in preparation to take off.

"On your mark…"

The crowd quieted.

"Get set…"

"Oh man, this is it!" Eddy squealed.

"GO!"

And just like that, the five racers were off, quickly picking up speed as they rolled along the track. Link, Tatl, Edd, Eddy, Lee, May, and Marie all watched Ed closely, who was easy to pick out from the others thanks to his omnipresent jacket. Though Ed was starting to gain more speed and pull ahead of the others, his fellow racers were pretty experienced themselves and kept right on his tail, ready to dart ahead at the first opportunity. Some of them had begun ramming one another to disorient each other. One of the racers was about to do this to Ed, who did not appear to notice as the racers rounded the first bend. Eddy began nervously chewing his fingernails in worry.

And then Ed's body became surrounded by sharp spikes. The nearing Goron wisely decided to back off. The whole crowd went wild at this as Ed's speed significantly improved, allowing him to start leaving the other racers in the dust. One of the other racers, however, managed to avoid being rammed by any of the others and began to close the distance between himself and Ed as they rounded the first set of obstacles; a group of thick, dead trees sitting in the very middle of the track. It looked like this Goron planned to ram Ed, spikes be damned, into one of the trees to slow him down and take first place.

Ed didn't change course as he approached the trees, probably planning to just smash right through them, which his friends all knew very well he was capable of doing. But that Goron certainly didn't, and as they got close to the trees, the other racer pulled up alongside him and bumped, obviously not hard enough to get hurt by Ed's body-spikes, but hard enough to throw him off-course, sending him careening towards a tree as the Goron recovered and pulled ahead.

What he didn't see was Ed's body smashing right through the tree's thick trunk, barely even slowing down before he began to close in on his unsuspecting foe. Neither of them noticed the tree fall down behind them, catching the other three racers by surprise. They, unfortunately, did not possess Ed's brute, logic-defying strength, and so crashed headlong into the fallen tree and all lay there in a daze, essentially knocking them out of the race.

"Well, it seems this unexpected turn of events has left Darbagar, Darius Senior, and Darwin unable to continue the race!" the Elder declared. "Now it's just down to our esteemed champion and his lone remaining challenger, Darson the Unstoppable! What a show!"

Eddy and May's cheers were by far the loudest. Even the others began to lose themselves in the excitement and joined in the cheering.

Meanwhile, Ed and the remaining racer rounded the second bend and came upon a bunch of ramps laid side by side. Darson had already gone over one by the time Ed reached this new set of obstacles, choosing to roll over the opposite ramp that Darson had gone over. As they both hit the ground, Ed drew significantly closer to Darson. And then came the second set of ramps, Darson going over the right one while Ed took the left.

Big mistake on Ed's part.

The next obstacle was a much narrower path that dropped off to an earlier part of the race. So early, in fact, that falling down there basically guaranteed loss. And Ed sailed right over the path and down into the lower part of the track, allowing Darson to race on unimpeded. Ed unrolled himself and looked up as he realized what had happened. The crowd all gasped and murmured in shock.

"I…It seems that…our champion…has been put out of the race," the Elder declared with no small hint of sorrow. "Only Darson is left to claim first place now."

"_**NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**_!" Eddy screamed bloody murder to the heavens.

As everyone's attention was momentarily diverted towards a distraught Eddy, none of them noticed as Ed looked thoughtfully at the wall for a moment before rolling back into a ball. He spun in place for several seconds, gaining traction as he did so. And then, when his spikes came out, he zoomed up the wall, onto the rocky center, and flew into the air before landing back on the track, right behind Darson, who did not appear to notice.

The Elder's jaw promptly dropped at the sight. "I-I don't believe it, folks! I've never seen anyone pull a stunt like that before in all my years! Against all odds, Darmani the Third is back in the race!"

Eddy, who had been covering his face and sobbing, immediately looked up when he heard this. "Wait, what?"

It seemed Darson shared Eddy's shock, as the challenger slowed down a bit, just in time to see Ed ram into him with the force of an earthquake, sending Darson slamming against the wall hard enough to leave a crater. Darson sat there in a stupor as Ed continued on by himself, and in no time at all, the disguised Ed-boy streaked past the finish line and won the race.

The crowd _exploded_ with raucous applause.

"He did it, folks!" the Elder declared. "The champion reigns still! After the most harrowing race we've ever seen, Darmani has won first place!"

The other kids forewent all pretenses and whooped, hollered, and clapped with abandon as Ed got back to his feet and waved ecstatically at the audience. "HE DID IT! HE DID IT!" Eddy yowled, hugging Edd fiercely. "I'M GONNA BE RICH! _RICH_, I TELL YA!"

"Well, let's go down there and congratulate him, then," Link spoke up as he began working his way through the crowd of cheering Gorons.

The others followed after him over to the entrance to the track, where Ed had just met up with the Elder to receive his winnings. The Elder smiled as he handed Ed a brown pouch. "Here you go, son," he spoke quietly enough so that only Ed could hear. "Good job out there. I think you left an impression on myself and all my people for years to come. Thank you for your service."

Ed returned his smile. "No problem, Mr. Elder."

He then heard his name being called and turned around to see his friends beckoning him. "Oops! Looks like I gotta go! Still got the whole world to save, after all!"

The Elder chuckled. "Good luck to you on that. To all of you. Farewell, brave travelers."

He then waved at the other kids before shuffling off to go see to the other racers. The other kids waved back as Ed joined them. "You did great, Lumpy!" Eddy congratulated, swiping the bag of gold dust out of Ed's hands. "Just imagine how many jawbreakers this'll bag us! Probably more than even Kevin!"

Edd rolled his eyes as the group left the racetrack behind and made their way down the slope. "I rather doubt that, Eddy, seeing as Kevin's father owns the jawbreaker company."

Eddy tossed the pouch in his hands a bit, giggling manically. "I bet with this I could buy the whole company from Shovelchin's old man!"

"That's also rather doubtful," Edd responded. "That pouch there could be worth at most a few thousand dollars. The jawbreaker factory is likely worth _millions_."

Eddy glowered at him over his shoulder. "You just always gotta rain on my parade, don't ya, Double D?"

"I'm simply stating facts, Eddy," Edd replied. "Also, you might want to let me hold onto that for now."

Eddy clutched the pouch defensively. "Why?"

"Because otherwise you'll lose it once we travel back in time again."

Eddy grumbled. "Oh yeah. That. Fine, I trust you enough not to lose it."

He then tossed the bag to Edd, who immediately secured it inside his zippered pants pocket. "I appreciate you saying that, Eddy."

Link happened to notice that Ed was still transformed and looking as blissfully clueless as always. "Um, Ed? I think you can take that off now."

"Oh, right!" Ed promptly took off the mask and stowed it away, turning back to his human self.

"Okay, guys," Link spoke to all of them. "Now that that little distraction's over and done with, I think it's time we get practicing for the ocean."

"Alright, so where do ya wanna practice?" Marie asked.

"We'll go back down to the Mountain Village," Link replied. "As long as we stay away from the flowerbeds, those giant wasps should ignore us."

"Okay, let's head down there, then," Lee said.

21


End file.
